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5 Negative Thinking Habits That Are Killing Your Creativity



5 Negative Thinking Habits That Are Killing Your Creativity

Everyone is capable of being creative. Creativity is something that simplifies our everyday lives in a myriad of ways – at work, at home, and in our hobbies. Creativity makes us problem solvers, innovators, artists, and visionaries.

Often times, the only thing standing in the way of our ability to harness our creativity is ourselves. We get caught in destructive thought patterns that are hindering us, whether or not we realize it. Training your brain to look at things differently can help you move your creativity to the forefront.

Here are 5 negative thinking habits that are killing your creativity:


1. Setting the wrong expectations

Have you ever considered that you may be attempting to do the wrong things? If you want to be the best accountant in the world, but you’re more suited to be an expert pastry chef, you aren’t going to have a good time. Forcing yourself to do something that doesn’t come naturally to you, especially if you lack passion in that niche, is not going to help you. Make sure you’re not setting false limitations on yourself that are preventing you from exploring the situations you can handle best.

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it” – Salvador Dali

2. Sticking to conventional methods

If you do things the same way every time, that’s like putting your brain on autopilot. When things become routine, it’s easy to lose your investigative drive. That curiosity is what inspires us to develop new, bold concepts that change things from the ground up. Aspire to stray from the beaten path and approach things from a variety of angles. Attempt new solutions, and make current solutions more efficient. It’s an easy way to flex your creative muscles and conceptualize new possibilities.


3. Not seeking feedback

You are your own worst critic. If you look at something you’ve done and you find the end result lackluster, there’s a possibility that you’re being too hard on yourself. Request feedback on your projects. Sometimes, things won’t be great, and hearing that from another person helps. Ask them what they would do differently. Feedback can help broaden your horizons. If you get positive feedback, that’s even better. That may just be the push you need to keep going.


4. Copying others

It’s time to drop the motto “if it works for him, it will work for me.” Everyone you encounter has a different skillset from you, and they use that skillset in their accomplishments. What’s working wonderfully for someone else may do absolutely nothing for you. It seems like a safe approach, but it’s potentially damaging. You can’t hold yourself to someone else’s standard – you need to hold yourself to your own standard. Develop methods you’re capable of utilizing and take role models with a grain of salt. You’re trying to be the best version of yourself, not a clone of someone else.

“Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while” – Steve Jobs

5. Being afraid to fail

If you fail, so what? Fear of failure is very common. It’s disheartening to devote yourself to something, only to see it flop. Nobody wants to find themselves in that position, but sometimes it’s inevitable. You’ll never be able to perfect your techniques if you don’t fail once in a while. Failure is what teaches people to be better, and it helps them identify the areas of their plan that aren’t working. Though it may seem to be a cliché, it’s true that failures, obstacles, mistakes are stepping stones. If you do fail, so what? It’s not the end of the world. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get back on that horse.


In developing your creativity, you’ll also experience a better relationship with yourself. The increase in confidence will allow you to approach every situation with fresh eyes and a fresh mind. Creativity only breeds more creativity.

Which one of these is killing your creativity the most?

With her unquenchable thirst for writing and a background in Business Administration and Management, Tess Pajaron currently works at Open Colleges, online education specialists from Australia.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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