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4 Things You Can Do Right Now to Change Your Perspective and Live a Better Life

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new perspective

To everything in life, there’s always a positive and a negative side. The thing is, it’s so damn easy to focus on one over the other. Some of us tend to focus too much on the negative side – as you know, it’s usually easier to forget the positive over the negative.

But here’s the good news: you get to choose which side you want to focus on! It’s simply a matter of shifting your perspective or, in other words, shifting your thoughts.

Here are 4 things you can do to help shift your perspective:

1. Focus on the lesson not the issue

Easier said than done, right? Well if you’re reading this article to begin with, you are ready to embrace change. We all go through good and bad experiences along the road. We are either in control of them or not. But the necessary thing to remember is that, every experience is a good experience.

The key is to finding the silver lining. Once you know this, it is fully your responsibility to do so. Now, I’m not saying all experiences have positive aspects, but it’s what you think or make of them that matters the most.

There is always an opportunity to evolve.  If you look a bit closer, you will find a way to positivity more often than you think. Let me give you an example.

It’s a little personal, but it proves exactly what I’m trying to explain. I got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder three years ago. Long story short, once I knew, instead of telling myself, “I’m a total emotional wreck, there is no hope” I thought, “Now that I have the knowledge, I will find the tools to help me find a solution.” And it felt so damn good!

Now, don’t get me wrong, this ‘positive’ perspective didn’t happen overnight. Good, efficient and long-term changes take time. But what I want to prove with this example is that you should take each problem or circumstance as a positive opportunity to change and to evolve.

At the end of the day, everything happens for a reason – you either have to find the reason yourself or it will become clear by itself after some time.

You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” —Walter Hagen

2. Remind yourself that positive attracts positive

You most definitely know the quote, “Smile and the world smiles with you.” At this point, it’s almost evident how much gratitude is important. Expressing gratitude everyday will boost your positive attitude in so many ways.

Here’s an example of a really easy exercise you should start practicing: This can be done at night or first thing in the morning. When you wake up, ask yourself, “What are 3 things I am grateful for this morning?” or, when you go to bed, “What are 3 things that made me happy today?”

This will help your ‘computer’, that is, your mind – in escaping any negative ‘viruses’, that is, your thoughts. Being grateful unfolds in so many positive ways. It will help you have the right, positive energy which will attract positivity.

Because positive attracts positive! The more you focus on having a great day when you first wake up in the morning, the more you will attract it. You will start noticing small details that you hadn’t before, like the beautiful petals in your neighbor’s garden, or simply the way the sun reflects on your skin. It’s also part of living in the now… All yogis will tell you about it.

On the contrary, negative emotions just make everything seem even more negative and then it just becomes a vicious cycle. The important thing to bear in mind here is that your emotions determine your perspective.  In other words, if you control your emotions better, you will control the way you see things better. You have the ability to change – your inner strength will help you in changing focus.

3. Take some distance with any source of negativity

It’s so necessary especially when you start changing your everyday routines and thoughts. Escaping all sources of negativity will give more space to attract positivity. This also means attracting more positive situations and people.

Whoever is toxic in your life or seems to slow you down, you need to put a cross on. You don’t have the time or the space to keep them. This also works for ‘toxic’ situations. Are you working a 9-5 job that you hate? Quit.

When you decide to change your emotions and your perspective, you don’t have any more space for negativity. Simply put, don’t expect positive change when you are surrounded by negative circumstances. 

“If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

4. Reward yourself with positive self-talk  

You already took a positive action to read this article in order to become a better version of yourself. Give yourself a little tap on the back! It’s important to shift your thoughts, but it’s almost twice as important to give yourself rewards for it.

It’s not that easy to accept and to embrace a change of thoughts and of perspectives. Realize that what you’re doing is sign that you are taking good initiatives into becoming a better person. Not everyone does it! The world would be a better place if they did.

A simple change in how you look at things and events can completely change your life. Perspective is all about what you decide to focus on. If you decide to focus on negativity, chances are, your life will be negative. On the contrary, if you choose to realize all the good things going on in your life, the quality of your life will necessarily get better. It’s not about what happens but how you deal with what happens.

Remember, it won’t happen overnight. But if you want it enough, like for everything – you will take the necessary time and efforts to make it happen. And then you will never perceive things the same way you used to.Every day is a new chance to start again. Embrace it!

What are some things you do that help you change your perspective and put you in a more positive state? Comment below!

Olivia Maitre is a digital marketer at Jobable. She writes content on HR and career-related topics. Born in France, grew up in the US, UK and Hong Kong. A millennial who sees the world through a multicultural prism.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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