Connect with us

Life

Negative Self-Talk: 3 Effective Ways to Get Rid of Those Thoughts

Avatar

Published

on

negative self talk

Who else suffers from negative self-talk and wants to liberate themselves? I used to have a  terrible opinion about my skills, my abilities, and myself in general. It is difficult and distressing to live this way. I mean, who feels good talking down about themselves all day? Nobody! Not only does it make you mentally sick, it is also holding you back from your dreams and successes.

I lived this destructive way for decades. Fortunately, I realized that I was wasting my life, if I didn’t get that BS out of my head. I was sick of it, and decided to find a way to stop my negative self-talk. My ultimate goal was to accept myself.

Here are three simple ways that have made the difference for me and gave me a sense of freedom:

1. Disconnect

The next time you catch yourself talking about yourself negatively, stop. Take your thoughts and put them into a story. Tell yourself the story in the third person, and use a different name than yours. This way you can disconnect yourself from the negative thoughts.

Here is an example what such a story could look like:

“Once upon a time, there was a woman named Pia. Her dream was to become a successful entrepreneur. It is not easy and Pia encountered some challenges. Pia talked down about herself and thought that she would never become a successful entrepreneur. She told herself that she is not good enough and does not have the right qualities. Pia met a friend to talk about her struggles. Fortunately, her friend pointed out that she had just hit a short-term challenge that is related to one specific situation, but does not relate to her skills and qualities. Pia’s friend told her that she could grow with this challenge. That changed Pia’s view of her own situation. She was happy and wanted to continue her journey straight away.”

By telling yourself a story, you take another perspective of the situation. From an external view, everything seems to be less difficult, because it is disconnected from yourself. This is the reason why we can give good advice to others, but struggle in similar situations when it directly affects ourselves. So, step out of yourself and take the view of a third person by telling yourself a story about your limiting thoughts.

“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” – Terry Pratchett

2. Contribute

The challenge with negative self-talk is either to reframe our thoughts (e.g. seeing them from another perspective by telling a story) or to get out of our own heads. The latter does work when we can manage to focus on something else other than our challenge. I’ve learned that contributing to another person’s life really gets me out of my head, because I’m busy thinking about them.

There are two main benefits by serving beyond our own needs and doing something good for others:

  • We get out of our heads through focusing on another person’s needs.
  • We feel good because we know we are doing something great.

“The secret of living is giving!” – Anthony Robbins

Soon, this becomes a healthy habit. The focus shifts from ourselves to how we can contribute to others and the negative self-talk disappears. In fact, the self-talk changes from being negative to positive, simply because internally we know that we are doing the right thing by helping someone.

Try it out this week or month by volunteering at an event. Google local events. Volunteers are always welcome.

3. Compete

In general, it is not recommended to compare yourself with others. In this case, I’m telling you to do it! But the “others” are your former selves. See how much you have grown from where you were then to where you are today. Often, we overlook the progress we have already made. Without seeing progress, we tend to get discouraged and talk ourselves down; this is where negative self-talk starts.

Now, you can play against yourself. Compete with your former self regularly by practicing, for example, self-regulation. That means, instill healthy habits like exercising, eating healthy food, and getting up early, or habits that are beneficial to your specific situation. By strengthening your self-discipline, you’ll automatically feel better. And, you can tell your former self that you are better! That turns the negative self-talk into positive self-talk.

Eliminate the BS

Now you have three possible ways to either reframe your negative thoughts or to get out of your head completely. Experiment with them and have fun! Be a creative story-teller, a love-giving individual, or a successful competitor with several gold medals.

What relief would it be to get rid of the BS you tell yourself? What opportunities would come up, when you stop talking yourself down? Comment below

Aileen Schuering believes that there are many people who don’t reach for their dreams, simply because they think they can’t. She has made it to her passion to empower these lovely individuals and to help them overcome their challenges so they can live the life they desire and deserve to have. Aileen has created Potential Lane and empowers people with regular posts on her Potential Lane Facebook page.

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

Avatar

Published

on

Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

Continue Reading

Life

​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending