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4 Actionable Steps to Elevate Your Charisma

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charisma

Do you ever walk around your streets or hang out with friends and family and wonder how some people are simply so likeable? You might love them or hate them yourself, but do you ever wish that you had that level of confidence?

Well, contrary to popular belief, nobody is born with charisma, it’s something that is learned. By boosting your charisma, you will automatically become more magnetic to other people. You’ll come across as being more trustworthy, more loyal, more persuasive and therefore enabling you to build deeper and stronger relationships with the people in your life.

Today, we’re going to explore four actionable steps you can take in order to train your mind to enhance your levels charisma, helping you to become the person you want to be in the life that you want to live.

1. Develop a Presence

Presence is considered the most important and essential aspect that contributes to charisma. If you’ve ever been in the surrounding area of someone that has a ‘presence’, you’ll know exactly what I mean when you feel drawn to that person, and you feel as though you can talk to them about anything.

In addition to this, being ‘present’ is also vital to charisma. Being in the present moment means that the person you’re talking to has your full attention, and your mind isn’t off wandering on what you’re doing at the weekend or what you’re having for dinner that night.

Being present and actually listening to what the other person in front of you has to say is a great way to build relationships with people as well as expanding your own horizons and knowledge. By being ‘present, you’ll create your own ‘presence’. However, it’s vital that you find balance as having too much ‘presence’ can lead to large and unwanted amounts of ego.

“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively

2. Build Your Confidence

Of course, the second most important aspect when it comes to charisma is confidence. However, this is also considered one of the most difficult traits to build. The less confidence you have, the less charismatic you’ll be. In comparison, too much charisma and you’ll be perceived as arrogant.

However, at its core, confidence is all about how you feel in your own skin. By eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly and wearing the clothes that you want to wear can all contribute to how you feel about yourself. The more comfortable you feel, the more confident you’ll be.

3. Speak Truth to BS

Nowadays, thanks to platforms such as social media and the incessant drive to know everything about everything, false truths are evident in our everyday lives. However, even if we’re the ones lying or over-exaggerating a story, we can tell the other person doesn’t believe it, but it carries on anyway.

If you’ve ever been BS’d to, you’ll know how it feels when you know it to be false. However, a crucial aspect of charisma is admitting when you don’t know something in order to progress a conversation. Showing curiosity in what somebody is saying to you, listening to what they have to say and not giving the impression that you know everything about everything is one of the best ways to show your charisma.

More often than not, especially with how society is these days, acting in this way will surprise the people you’re talking to. If someone is speaking BS to you, although it can be an extremely hard conversation to have, speaking truth to them, i.e. calling them out on it, can help you build deeper relationships with these people which is an extremely charismatic thing to do.

You don’t have to be rude about it. If you’re talking about a political debate and someone quotes a figure, simply ask them where they heard or read that fact for proof. This level of curiosity allows you to drop the ‘defensive guard’ you would normally have up when BSing yourself and allows you to feel like you’re yourself when around other people. Live with purpose.

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey

4. Master the Art of Conversation

In short, any charismatic person knows how to have and hold a conversation. They can start a conversation with anybody, steer it in any direction and, most importantly, can make the other people in the conversation feel comfortable.

These are the basic guidelines for having a proper conversation, and it can take practice if you don’t possess it already. However, it’s not impossible. If talking to a complete stranger scares the hell out of you, the only thing to do is bite the bullet and jump straight in. Once you realise you’ve got nothing to lose and can only gain conversational experience which will improve instantly, you’ll be able to get better and better over time until you master the art completely.

Of course, the best way to start a conversation is by being nice, rather than trying to overwhelm the other person with information or showing off, mentioned above. Avoid awkward silences, make eye contact, and you’ll see the rewards instantly in every conversation you have.

How do you boost your charisma? Comment below!

Jennifer Scott works as online editor at Best Australian Writers. Also, she is a business developer that works in different areas of education, technology, security and various types of online marketing. Prior to business developing Jennifer was consultant at Deloitte, and managed security services provider and developer of a wide range of security solutions.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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