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3 Common Ways We Are All Using Social Media the Wrong Way



how to use social media

Social Media has been ingrained so much in our daily lives that our attention is fixated on it immediately after waking up, and right before falling asleep. Nonetheless, who can blame us, right? Times change and the state of our external environment should never be directly our fault. However, the things we can’t change also come with things we can change, such as our own choices and how to respond to what surrounds us.

You probably found this article through social media, and I want you to think about your intentions during that moment. Were you genuinely looking for information to further your knowledge? Or were you using it for other purposes that could sabotage your path to success?

Here are three ways you might be using social media the wrong way:

1. Using it to kill time

Time is the most valuable asset we have. You can always make more money, but you can never make more time. Rich or poor, tall or short, we all have the same twenty-four hours in a day. Since life is short, how are you using those short hours that you have? Assuming you sleep six hours per night, that leaves you with only eighteen hours left.

In those eighteen hours, how many are spent looking at funny memes or catching up on that show everyone else is raving about? You might think, “Oh, I just got done with work and have six hours left until it’s time to go to bed. I’ll go on Facebook until I fall asleep.”

You can accomplish multiple things in six hours. For example, writing a quality article takes me two hours. In six hours, assuming I take minimal breaks, it means I could write three articles. You can also use those six hours to gain more knowledge by listening to podcasts, reading books, or taking part-time classes which will get you closer to your goal.

It’s not wrong to entertain ourselves and occasionally scroll through social media, but if it becomes a habit to waste time just because we can, it will take you much longer to succeed. To do it right, only allot a certain amount of time for it per day, then commit to it.

“Time = life; therefore, waste your time and waste your life, or master your time and master your life.” – Alan Lakein

2. Allowing it to replace in-person human interaction

We’re busy creatures and do not have all the time in the world to meet all our friends in person. But what happens when we do have the time to spend with someone, and they’re actually in a nearby part of town?

For most people, their birthdays are displayed on their profiles, and while it feels good to have multiple notifications saying, “Happy Birthday!” on your timeline, nothing still beats actual one-on-one quality time with someone.

Relationships are one of the most important things in life, and success isn’t only about acquiring wealth or gaining power. Success is also about creating, nurturing and maintaining meaningful relationships bringing great benefits to everybody involved.

3. Allowing it to define your happiness

There you go again, stalking your ex’s Instagram pictures with their new partner. Look at them all happy and doing all the fun things you never did together. They look so in love, which probably means they are, right? Not necessarily.

I see it all the time. People posting like they’re having the best times of their lives and then all of a sudden I just hear that they’ve committed suicide or I find out that they weren’t actually happy.

We tend to filter out the bad parts of our lives on social media and let the world know only about the glamorous parts. I’m also guilty of this, since I like to post about the new clients I’ve landed for my business, the new articles that I’ve been featured in, and the new digital products I’ve finished.

Of course I wouldn’t want them to know about the hundreds of rejected business proposals, rejected articles and digital products which never sold a single transaction. Because why would anyone in their right mind do that? We always want to put our best selves online.

But thanks to enough experience, I’ve learned a life lesson that might take longer for others to know: Social media shouldn’t define your happiness. No matter how “empty” your feed or timeline might look like, it shouldn’t stop you from living life the way you want. Yes, we should consider the impact and visuals of our posts, but our self-esteem shouldn’t come from external validation.

“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” – Albert Camus

Social media is not real life. The sooner we realize that, the less we’ll compare ourselves with others and truly appreciate where we are in our journey.

How are you making sure you use social media in a way not harmful to your health? Comment below!

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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