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4 Practical Ways You Can View Yourself In A Healthier Way

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how to find your value

Bad things happen when you’re full of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Not only does your performance suffer, but it robs you of your joy and fulfillment.

Some of the problems caused by undervaluing yourself include assuming you will fail at tasks, refraining from taking on new roles, feeling depressed, and experiencing anxiety on a daily basis. These consequences spell big trouble for your career or entrepreneurial ventures.

Luckily, there are ways to gain a healthy sense of self-worth. When you see your own value, you’ll face challenges with confidence, experience more happiness, and perform better in your work.

If you frequently find yourself questioning the value you bring to the workplace, here are some things you can do to take on a healthier view of yourself:

1. Resist comparing yourself in the era of Facebook

We all know that comparing ourselves to others, harms our sense of self value. Yet here we are, in this social-media world, subjected to everyone else’s perfect lives every time we glance at our phones. How can we not compare ourselves?

To stop comparing yourself to your colleagues’ Facebook portrayals of themselves, remember that their social posts are really just advertisements in a long-running marketing campaign. A Big Mac is never as perfect as it looks in a marketing campaign. And, guess what: your friends and colleagues are never as perfect as their marketing campaigns (Facebook accounts) portray.

“Perfect” couples have arguments and relationship troubles. But they’re not going to display those imperfections on Facebook any more than a Big Mac will display its nutritional information on a billboard. Likewise, that “perfect” colleague you’re always comparing yourself to is certainly not going to display her self-doubts, inadequacies and fears for you to see on Facebook.

So if you feel discouraged and inadequate every time you see the heavenly splendor of your colleagues’ Facebook posts, just remember that we’re all Big Macs. You have just as much value as everyone else.

“I cannot say this too strongly: Do not compare yourselves to others. Be true to who you are, and continue to learn with all your might.”   – Daisaku Ikeda

2. Let your dreams define your value

Maybe your vision is to live in Paris one day, or to create a Fortune 500 company before the age of 35, or to see your invention become a reality. Whatever you dream of, don’t put it on the back burner. Take steps towards it every day.

When you have a dream, and you strive for it daily, you are focused on chasing the life you want rather than wishing you were as “good’ as somebody else. Find your self-value in the purpose you’ve given yourself. Let your attitude be, “I may not have gotten that raise, but no matter what, I am working toward a specific thing,  and that’s where my value lies.”

 

3. Take note of every small win and celebrate

You don’t realize it, but you achieve wins every week (and possibly every day.) These wins prove that you add value to your team. Any time your boss or a client tells you they like the way you did something, that counts as a win. When a colleague praises you in a meeting or compliments you about a presentation you put together, these are also wins.

Although your knee-jerk reaction will be to blow these wins off, it’s important that you do the exact opposite. Instead, write them down in a “win notebook,” and read them frequently to remind yourself of your worth. And most importantly, celebrate your small wins every Friday night with a dessert or a glass of wine, and cute baby animal pictures. You’ve earned it.

 

4. Help others every day

It’s hard not to see the value of yourself when you devote a little time to helping others every day. This doesn’t mean you have to travel the world to provide humanitarian aid (although if you can do that, all the better.) Rather, helping people is in the little things.

Remember when your colleague mentioned that they wish they were better at Photoshop? Consider setting aside a lunch break to give them a few valuable tips. Did you overhear an employee telling someone their car broke down? Offer to give them a ride home.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” – Dalai Lama

Ask yourself, every day, “How can I help my boss in an unexpected way today? How can I be of extra assistance to a colleague? What can I do to make a client’s life a little easier today?” As you serve others and earn a reputation of helping people, you will start seeing the value and worth in yourself.

When learning to properly value yourself, the most important thing to remember is that the only one who’s questioning your value is you. Chances are, there are several things about you that your colleagues admire. And many of the colleagues you admire likely have their own demons and self-doubts.

So smile and enjoy the ironic reality that you are admired, while the colleagues around you are just as doubtful as you are.

What things do you do to help realize your value? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Jordan Kasteler is a freelance marketing consultant and entrepreneur. He has a history of entrepreneurship co-founding and serving positions in such companies as BlueGlass Interactive, an Internet marketing agency and SteelCast, a tech incubator housing several other self-started companies. His work experience ranges from in-house SEO at Overstock.com, marketing strategy at PETA, and to agency-level SEO. Jordan is also an international conference speaker, blogger, and book author of A to Z: Social Media Marketing. You can see more on his website jordankasteler.com.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. KAUSTAV GHOSH

    Jan 19, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    Best positive ways to be happier in the day to day life must read, Thanks for sharing.

  2. Chupacabras

    Jul 22, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    Paradoxically, self doubt is actually a certainty – a certainty that you’re in the wrong or that you can’t cope. By using the above techniques, you can cast doubt on your own self doubts, and arrive at a more realistic view of events. Click Here to learn more techniques

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Life

3 Simple Tips to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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Relationships are challenging. They make you examine yourself from all angles, and that can be triggering. For example, have you ever had a friend or significant other say something that sparked an argument instantly—only to find out you misheard what they said in the first place? (more…)

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If You Want to Avoid Failure Once and for All, Ask Yourself These 4 Questions

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how to avoid failure
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You just invested in yourself and in your business. You are taking massive action but the results are just not clicking yet. While everyone is making 10X, 20X, and even 100X ROI on their initial investment, you have made $0 return. Failure is starting to overcast your bright shining positive attitude and you are feeling the pain and shame of it. (more…)

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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3 Inspiring Lessons We Can Learn From Jim Carrey About the Law of Attraction

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You’ve more than likely heard of Jim Carrey before. Over the years, he has starred in many popular films including The Truman Show, The Mask, and Bruce Almighty (just to name a few.)

But his personality goes a lot deeper than just his comedic persona and movie star charisma. In fact, Jim Carrey is probably one of the most philosophical individuals on the planet

Although he isn’t in the spotlight as much anymore, throughout the years, he has credited his success and fortunes by applying the Law of attraction into his life. What’s even more inspiring is that Jim Carrey, like you and I, came from humble beginnings. No silver spoon or easy ticket. In fact, his family was very poor throughout his childhood. So what made him so successful in attracting such an extravagant and self-fulfilling life?

Here are 3 lessons you can learn from Jim Carrey when it comes to manifesting your dreams into a reality:

1. You Have To Take Action

You can’t just visualize then go eat a sandwich”, Jim Carrey says. It goes without saying that the law of attraction does require action. You cannot simply rely on visualizing and expect to see results, especially when it comes to manifesting desires that other people would like to achieve also. E.g. Careers, scholarships, competitions, anything that involves another individual.

Visualization and positive thinking are crucial when it comes to using the law of attraction, but you have to meet the universe halfway with the steps you take as well. We are physical beings that require physical steps to get physical results. The real key is to make daily plans/goals in order to get you closer towards achieving your desires. So after that sandwich, make sure start taking action toward your dreams!

This could be working on your hobbies or passion, applying for that dream job or studying to get better grades. As long as you are moving toward your goals then there’s no reason why it can’t happen. So get out there and kick some butt.

2. Double Down On What You Love

My father could have been a great comedian but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that: You can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

If this story of Jim Carrey’s father doesn’t pull on your heartstrings and inspire you at the same time, nothing else will! This is such an undeniable life lesson that everyone needs to learn. A lesson to take risks, push comfort zones and go all-in on what you love doing. So if your dreams, hobbies or goals seem far fetched to the majority, then you are already beating the other 99%.

Be that 1% that’s willing to dream big and rise above the norm. Unfortunately, in today’s society, our ancestral instincts still rule our everyday life. Fear is one of them and controls the majority of our population. It’s scary to push comfort zones and try something new, the thought of failure is often paralyzing to many. But my question to you is, will you look back one day and regret the chances you didn’t take?

3. Keep Your Eye On The Prize

As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.” Holding onto every little detail when it comes to manifesting, can conjure up more harm than good. The reason is that the universe will deliver in ways you might not expect.

If you are too busy wondering when your desires will manifest, comparing yourself to others, or ignoring every sign that doesn’t look like your detailed plan you’ve written down, then you may be missing out on opportunities that are right in front of you! Your visualizations don’t have to be perfect, in fact, it’s better to just let go altogether and focus on the result itself rather than dwelling on every little detail. This doesn’t mean to simply forget about what you want but instead having the confidence it will happen in time. 

An example of this is when Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for 30 million dollars. The only detail he knew was that he would earn it through his acting career, and he did indeed achieve this goal! So make sure to tell the universe what you want, but try not to hold onto every little detail!

Jim Carrey is just another person like you and me, with his own personal ups and downs in his road to success. He is someone to look up to when applying the law of attraction in your life too. It doesn’t matter if your goals or desires are different because the core foundation will always stay the same. You can and will do this if you think, feel and act as if it will happen!

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