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6 Reasons Why You Should Encourage Others To Succeed

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Life can be a lonely journey at times, and especially a life aimed at success. I’ve found through talking with others, and through my own experiences, that the default reaction of most people is to ignore you when you show them that you’re moving toward your goals. Yep. Flat out ignore.

But as soon as you’ve been in a car accident or dumped at the altar, BAM! People are quick to console.

On the surface it seems like a nice thing to do although my take is slightly different. I think it’s easier to encourage someone who has stumbled, because deep down we’re probably thinking, “Man, I’m glad it happened to that guy and not me!”

With that frame of reference, it’s quite easy to be supportive. It takes a hell of a lot more energy to cheer on someone who wants more out of life than it does to pat a fallen comrade on the back and say, “You’ll get ‘em next time buddy” while secretly wearing a grin of devious delight.

I mean, look at the effort it takes. It takes acknowledging what that person is striving for, such as “I’m writing a book!”, “I’m starting a blog!”, or “I’m joining CrossFit to lose 30 pounds!” It takes fighting our own thoughts of envy or resentment (for whatever reason these come to us). And finally, it takes the time to respond with something as simple as “You rock!”

How can such a small gesture actually make a difference?

Here are 6 “selfish” reasons to encourage people who are striving for success:

1. You can make others feel good

How do you feel when someone gives you a compliment or acknowledges one of your achievements? Even if you humbly sidestep the compliment, inside you’re loving every darn minute of it. You better believe they’ll feel the same way.

And let’s face it, we also benefit from that warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that we did a good deed. You can stuff your soul with that feeling all day long. The opportunities are out there.

“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it – basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.” – Charles Bukowski

2. You can keep their fire lit

Maybe they’ve been doing some hardcore hustlin’ over the past several months but haven’t been getting the results they had hoped for. And not only that, they’re about to call it quits! Your encouragement can be the match that keeps their fire blazing.

Sure, it’s not our job to motivate people or to hold them above water. I get that. Yet, we shouldn’t want to see people fail. You never know, you might need your candle re-lit one day.

 

3. You’ll make true friends that will never forget you

I recently wrote a book and during the process I came across crates of reasons to quit. Part of what got me through the low points was encouragement from others, and strangely from people I hardly knew.

I now consider them true friends and it’s because they encouraged me when I needed it most. They had no reason to. I didn’t ask, they just did it. That meant a lot to me and I’ll never forget it.

If you do the same, you won’t be forgotten either.

 

4. You can gain an ally that will bring you opportunities in the future

The person you help might end up being an important business ally. Who do you think they’ll recommend when someone comes to them looking for what you got? Or who might they introduce you to? You never know. It’s best just to litter the world with praise.

 

5. It keeps you motivated

How hard is it to stay motivated on those days when you’re asking yourself if the building floor you’re standing on is high enough to end it all? Very.

The good news is that it’s usually easier to encourage someone else on those days than it is ourselves. But by encouraging someone else, you are inadvertently bringing positive energy to yourself. Be it karma or whatever you want to call it. It lives.

Take for example a smile. Have you ever seen a baby smile? It would take a soulless sociopath to resist smiling back. That same thing can happen when a full-grown stranger shoots you a sincere smile—right after you offer them some support, that is. It’s hard to be upset when you’re smiling.

 

6. You create ripples in the world

The movie Pay It Forward, starring Kevin Spacey, is not so far-fetched. That person you encourage can change the world by following your lead.

Maybe you’ve seen that Liberty Mutual commercial (similar premise) where one act of kindness is witnessed by an uninvolved 3rd party. That witness later becomes the distributor, and on and on it goes. This shows us that not only does the person you encourage get inspired to help, but you also plant seeds in those who witness your actions as well.

One simple compliment can change the course of history and make the world a better place. I’m not kidding. In Kevin Spacey I trust.

“Sail beyond the horizon; fly higher than you ever thought possible; magnify your existence by helping others; be kind to people and animals of all shapes and sizes; be true to what you value most; shine your light on the world; and be the person you were born to be.” – Blake Beattie

No matter what, encourage people who are striving for success.

If you see a friend starting to go to the gym, encourage them. Are they struggling through college finals? Encourage them. Anything you say can and will be helpful in a court of life.

Perhaps in the form of a Facebook comment (this doesn’t mean just hit the lazy like button!), a text message, a phone call, an email, a handwritten letter, heck, even the prehistoric face-to-face! It can be as simple as “Good job!” It only takes you a couple of seconds, but it’s worth so much more.

How do you encourage people to succeed? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Matt Kramer used to get bullied by death’s evil twin every time he spoke in front of a group, now he loves it. Overcoming the fear of public speaking has changed his life. In less than a year since he has competed and won 3 separate public speaking competitions, wrote a book about how to overcome the fear of public speaking, and spoke at one of the top universities in southern California (SDSU). His focus is to help you overcome the fear of public speaking so you can build the belief to go after your dreams. Join him at TacticalTalks.com/blog

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Joe Rodriguez

    Feb 20, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    Great Article! Making others feel good is the way too go, what you give you receive. NICE!

  2. David

    Feb 19, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    The one thing that keeps me moving forward and trying to help others is lighting someone else’s fire. When I reflect, my idols and those that made a difference in my life have been teachers. Life is short make a difference.

    • Matt Kramer

      Feb 20, 2016 at 2:16 am

      Exactly! The amount of teachers I can remember from school are the ones that showed an interest. Little things truly can have a huge effect on someone’s life. And since we never know when that might be, all we can do is shower the world with encouragement…while we still have time.

  3. Charlene Rhinehart

    Feb 19, 2016 at 10:22 pm

    Great article, Matt! Making others feel good can have a great impact on your ability to influence and lead others. When you can boost others with confidence, you build your own confidence. Thanks Matt!

    • Matt Kramer

      Feb 20, 2016 at 2:10 am

      Thank you Charlene! That’s a great point!

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Life

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We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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