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6 Reasons Why You Should Encourage Others To Succeed

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Life can be a lonely journey at times, and especially a life aimed at success. I’ve found through talking with others, and through my own experiences, that the default reaction of most people is to ignore you when you show them that you’re moving toward your goals. Yep. Flat out ignore.

But as soon as you’ve been in a car accident or dumped at the altar, BAM! People are quick to console.

On the surface it seems like a nice thing to do although my take is slightly different. I think it’s easier to encourage someone who has stumbled, because deep down we’re probably thinking, “Man, I’m glad it happened to that guy and not me!”

With that frame of reference, it’s quite easy to be supportive. It takes a hell of a lot more energy to cheer on someone who wants more out of life than it does to pat a fallen comrade on the back and say, “You’ll get ‘em next time buddy” while secretly wearing a grin of devious delight.

I mean, look at the effort it takes. It takes acknowledging what that person is striving for, such as “I’m writing a book!”, “I’m starting a blog!”, or “I’m joining CrossFit to lose 30 pounds!” It takes fighting our own thoughts of envy or resentment (for whatever reason these come to us). And finally, it takes the time to respond with something as simple as “You rock!”

How can such a small gesture actually make a difference?

Here are 6 “selfish” reasons to encourage people who are striving for success:

1. You can make others feel good

How do you feel when someone gives you a compliment or acknowledges one of your achievements? Even if you humbly sidestep the compliment, inside you’re loving every darn minute of it. You better believe they’ll feel the same way.

And let’s face it, we also benefit from that warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that we did a good deed. You can stuff your soul with that feeling all day long. The opportunities are out there.

“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it – basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.” – Charles Bukowski

2. You can keep their fire lit

Maybe they’ve been doing some hardcore hustlin’ over the past several months but haven’t been getting the results they had hoped for. And not only that, they’re about to call it quits! Your encouragement can be the match that keeps their fire blazing.

Sure, it’s not our job to motivate people or to hold them above water. I get that. Yet, we shouldn’t want to see people fail. You never know, you might need your candle re-lit one day.

 

3. You’ll make true friends that will never forget you

I recently wrote a book and during the process I came across crates of reasons to quit. Part of what got me through the low points was encouragement from others, and strangely from people I hardly knew.

I now consider them true friends and it’s because they encouraged me when I needed it most. They had no reason to. I didn’t ask, they just did it. That meant a lot to me and I’ll never forget it.

If you do the same, you won’t be forgotten either.

 

4. You can gain an ally that will bring you opportunities in the future

The person you help might end up being an important business ally. Who do you think they’ll recommend when someone comes to them looking for what you got? Or who might they introduce you to? You never know. It’s best just to litter the world with praise.

 

5. It keeps you motivated

How hard is it to stay motivated on those days when you’re asking yourself if the building floor you’re standing on is high enough to end it all? Very.

The good news is that it’s usually easier to encourage someone else on those days than it is ourselves. But by encouraging someone else, you are inadvertently bringing positive energy to yourself. Be it karma or whatever you want to call it. It lives.

Take for example a smile. Have you ever seen a baby smile? It would take a soulless sociopath to resist smiling back. That same thing can happen when a full-grown stranger shoots you a sincere smile—right after you offer them some support, that is. It’s hard to be upset when you’re smiling.

 

6. You create ripples in the world

The movie Pay It Forward, starring Kevin Spacey, is not so far-fetched. That person you encourage can change the world by following your lead.

Maybe you’ve seen that Liberty Mutual commercial (similar premise) where one act of kindness is witnessed by an uninvolved 3rd party. That witness later becomes the distributor, and on and on it goes. This shows us that not only does the person you encourage get inspired to help, but you also plant seeds in those who witness your actions as well.

One simple compliment can change the course of history and make the world a better place. I’m not kidding. In Kevin Spacey I trust.

“Sail beyond the horizon; fly higher than you ever thought possible; magnify your existence by helping others; be kind to people and animals of all shapes and sizes; be true to what you value most; shine your light on the world; and be the person you were born to be.” – Blake Beattie

No matter what, encourage people who are striving for success.

If you see a friend starting to go to the gym, encourage them. Are they struggling through college finals? Encourage them. Anything you say can and will be helpful in a court of life.

Perhaps in the form of a Facebook comment (this doesn’t mean just hit the lazy like button!), a text message, a phone call, an email, a handwritten letter, heck, even the prehistoric face-to-face! It can be as simple as “Good job!” It only takes you a couple of seconds, but it’s worth so much more.

How do you encourage people to succeed? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Matt Kramer used to get bullied by death’s evil twin every time he spoke in front of a group, now he loves it. Overcoming the fear of public speaking has changed his life. In less than a year since he has competed and won 3 separate public speaking competitions, wrote a book about how to overcome the fear of public speaking, and spoke at one of the top universities in southern California (SDSU). His focus is to help you overcome the fear of public speaking so you can build the belief to go after your dreams. Join him at TacticalTalks.com/blog

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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