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3 Ways You Can Manage Your Negative Feelings Effectively



negative feelings
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Emotions, like happiness or joy, have great power to get us from the bottom to the absolute top. But, what about feelings like anger or disappointment? How do these affect us? I am not going to lie to you, there were times when negativity got the best of me because I was hurt and in pain. Going on the defense immediately, without considering the consequences, seemed like the most profound decision ever.

One day it clicked. After too many embarrassing emotional outbursts or moments of fear which prevented me from making reasonable decisions, it was obvious, my own feelings were screwing me up.

As a pain-oriented achiever with a history of repeated mistakes, I was pushed to reconsider my old patterns, find the root of the problem and make changes immediately. That’s when I learned a few simple, yet powerful actions I could focus on which helped me clean up my emotional mess and take control of my decisions and actions.

Here are 3 ways you can manage your negative feelings effectively:

1. Your words and body movement

Imagine your typical day. You wake up in the morning, appreciating the sunshine and the fact that yesterday you conquered 100 push-ups. When you were about to begin working on your daily goals, you received some disappointing news that took you by surprise. The excitement and determination you felt prior is gone within minutes.  

The first emotional reaction that follows right after is crucial because it often defines how well you can handle the situation. Let’s say you start cursing or raising your voice, yet by doing that, you are supporting the emotional state you are in. There is a difference between saying “I am very angry” or “I feel a bit annoyed.” Less dramatic words will keep you calmer.

The second thing which controls your feelings is your body movement. If you are moving fast, walking from one corner of the room to another, or feeling pissed off, you are increasing the intensity of your negative emotional state. However, if you slow down and breathe, you will decrease your disempowering emotional state and have more space to simply chill out.

Here is a little exercise which can help you in stressful situations. Find a quiet place, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Each time you inhale say “in” and when you exhale, say “out.” That’s it. These few seconds of downtime will give you the opportunity to reflect and take better control of the moment.

“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.” – Bohdi Sanders

2. Questions

I bet you already know that experiencing betrayal from someone you love or lacking results in your business may certainly challenge your perspective on life. It makes you trust less, lowers your excitement, and makes you doubt what you wholeheartedly believe in.

It is because of these moments emotionally challenging you that you must simply acknowledge them and change them. You want to nourish the idea that life is great and people are good in their hearts. This perspective shouldn’t change based on someone’s inability to prove it.

Here is the simplest way you can look at it. Bad feelings cause bad vibrations and attract more of what you feel – awful results or people. That’s where the power of questions comes into play.

There was nothing more powerful during my emotional transformation than proper questions. You want to choose logic over angry feelings. These are only blinding you from seeing the situation in a better light.

Here are a few examples of questions I use on a regular basis:

  • What can I do, right now, to change this situation?
  • What is the very next step I can take today to change the way I feel?
  • What thoughts can I choose to think right now in order to create positive feelings?
  • What is one simple activity which calms me down in a matter of minutes?

3. Don’t make major decisions

Once you adopt this rule, you will thank yourself for the rest of your life. Here is an affirmation you’ll want to use when you feel that you want to make a decision while in the negative emotional state. “I will never, under any circumstances, make decisions while in a negative or disempowering emotional state no matter how confident I feel about them in a given moment.”

Here is the truth: When you are in pain, you want to do something. You want to act right away because it hurts. However, decisions made under the pressure of negativity aren’t accurate since they are based on helplessness. Find your go-to person, someone you trust and ask for help if you feel that it’s too overwhelming to do it alone.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” – Brian Tracy


Embracing emotions and listening to them at all costs is the key to transforming your life. Your feelings are real and they matter as much as you do. Nonetheless, learning how to take better control over your actions while feeling pain will make a major difference in your life.

You will feel more in control and more certainty about your decisions and you won’t tolerate poor behaviors of other people. You are always in control and you decide how you face the situation.

By adopting these rules I shared with you, you will be on your way to master the most complex part of your life and that’s how you respond to negativity.

How do you manage your negative emotions? Do you have any tips for us? Let us know in the comments below!

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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