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3 Ways You Can Manage Your Negative Feelings Effectively

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Emotions, like happiness or joy, have great power to get us from the bottom to the absolute top. But, what about feelings like anger or disappointment? How do these affect us? I am not going to lie to you, there were times when negativity got the best of me because I was hurt and in pain. Going on the defense immediately, without considering the consequences, seemed like the most profound decision ever.

One day it clicked. After too many embarrassing emotional outbursts or moments of fear which prevented me from making reasonable decisions, it was obvious, my own feelings were screwing me up.

As a pain-oriented achiever with a history of repeated mistakes, I was pushed to reconsider my old patterns, find the root of the problem and make changes immediately. That’s when I learned a few simple, yet powerful actions I could focus on which helped me clean up my emotional mess and take control of my decisions and actions.

Here are 3 ways you can manage your negative feelings effectively:

1. Your words and body movement

Imagine your typical day. You wake up in the morning, appreciating the sunshine and the fact that yesterday you conquered 100 push-ups. When you were about to begin working on your daily goals, you received some disappointing news that took you by surprise. The excitement and determination you felt prior is gone within minutes.  

The first emotional reaction that follows right after is crucial because it often defines how well you can handle the situation. Let’s say you start cursing or raising your voice, yet by doing that, you are supporting the emotional state you are in. There is a difference between saying “I am very angry” or “I feel a bit annoyed.” Less dramatic words will keep you calmer.

The second thing which controls your feelings is your body movement. If you are moving fast, walking from one corner of the room to another, or feeling pissed off, you are increasing the intensity of your negative emotional state. However, if you slow down and breathe, you will decrease your disempowering emotional state and have more space to simply chill out.

Here is a little exercise which can help you in stressful situations. Find a quiet place, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Each time you inhale say “in” and when you exhale, say “out.” That’s it. These few seconds of downtime will give you the opportunity to reflect and take better control of the moment.

“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.” – Bohdi Sanders

2. Questions

I bet you already know that experiencing betrayal from someone you love or lacking results in your business may certainly challenge your perspective on life. It makes you trust less, lowers your excitement, and makes you doubt what you wholeheartedly believe in.

It is because of these moments emotionally challenging you that you must simply acknowledge them and change them. You want to nourish the idea that life is great and people are good in their hearts. This perspective shouldn’t change based on someone’s inability to prove it.

Here is the simplest way you can look at it. Bad feelings cause bad vibrations and attract more of what you feel – awful results or people. That’s where the power of questions comes into play.

There was nothing more powerful during my emotional transformation than proper questions. You want to choose logic over angry feelings. These are only blinding you from seeing the situation in a better light.

Here are a few examples of questions I use on a regular basis:

  • What can I do, right now, to change this situation?
  • What is the very next step I can take today to change the way I feel?
  • What thoughts can I choose to think right now in order to create positive feelings?
  • What is one simple activity which calms me down in a matter of minutes?

3. Don’t make major decisions

Once you adopt this rule, you will thank yourself for the rest of your life. Here is an affirmation you’ll want to use when you feel that you want to make a decision while in the negative emotional state. “I will never, under any circumstances, make decisions while in a negative or disempowering emotional state no matter how confident I feel about them in a given moment.”

Here is the truth: When you are in pain, you want to do something. You want to act right away because it hurts. However, decisions made under the pressure of negativity aren’t accurate since they are based on helplessness. Find your go-to person, someone you trust and ask for help if you feel that it’s too overwhelming to do it alone.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” – Brian Tracy

Conclusion

Embracing emotions and listening to them at all costs is the key to transforming your life. Your feelings are real and they matter as much as you do. Nonetheless, learning how to take better control over your actions while feeling pain will make a major difference in your life.

You will feel more in control and more certainty about your decisions and you won’t tolerate poor behaviors of other people. You are always in control and you decide how you face the situation.

By adopting these rules I shared with you, you will be on your way to master the most complex part of your life and that’s how you respond to negativity.

How do you manage your negative emotions? Do you have any tips for us? Let us know in the comments below!

Silvia committed her life to many things but one of them is helping people in turning their pain into power and teach them how to find benefits in the most difficult events of their lives. She is a motivational speaker and founder of CourageWithinYou platform.  She has written well over 200 articles oriented on personal development, success, and healthy mental growth. You can connect with her on Facebook or on her personal website www.silviaturon.com.

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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Practicing Self-Devotion: 3 Ways Towards a More Mindful and Compassionate You

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I can still hear the voices of my older relatives and my elementary school teachers telling me “be disciplined”, “keep at it”, to give time and energy towards what we want. As a young, impressionable child, I believed all those things because well, they made sense. They worked. And honestly, I felt like it’s the only way to flourish. (more…)

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