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3 Guaranteed Ways to Change Your State and Get Out of That Funk

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how to get out of a funk

One of my mentors Les Brown once asked a question in my presence, and the question was, “who motivates the motivator?” What he was really saying was even though I am known as the world’s #1 motivational speaker, I need to be motivated sometimes too.

It doesn’t matter who you are. Whether you are the one that is always the go to person for your friends and family, or whether you inspire and motivate people for a living like myself and Mr. Les Brown does, we all get down in the dumps sometimes.

We all get in that funky mood that just hovers over us like a cloud, and follows us around keeping our moods dark and grey like a Seattle winter. It is not always a bad thing, because sometimes it gives us clarity, or allows us to focus on our self and it can give us a true to life perspective of what’s really going on in our life.

The trick though is not to live there permanently. We do not want to be in that space for too long, because soon it will be affecting every person we come in contact with and it becomes contagious and affects our decision making skills. We cannot make positive life changing decisions when we are in a state of negativity.

The trick then is to change our state to one that will guide us in the right direction, and out of that funky state of mind into a positive state of mind, because that is the only place where positive growth happens.

Here are 3 guaranteed ways to get you out of that funky state of mind, regardless of how you got there:

1. Get in a state of gratitude

This is not hard to do, and I know this to be a fact not just for me, but also for you. I know this, because if you are reading this right now, then you are obviously alive, regardless of the health condition you are in. According to worldometer, at this exact moment of writing this article 78,079 people died today so far, and you are obviously not one of them.

Gratitude is not just about the material things in life, because those things can always be replaced, but the things that can never be replaced are usually the things that we take for granted. Things like waking up this morning, having a family regardless of how big or small, having the opportunity to change your current circumstances regardless of how dire it may seem right now.

Can you walk? Can you talk? Do you have all or some of your limbs? These are all things to be grateful for. I know sometimes thinking about others and how much better off you are doesn’t soften your situation, but the biggest thing that you have to be grateful for is the fact that you have the opportunity to change yours.

“I try to be grateful for the abundance of the blessings that I have, for the journey that I’m on and to relish each day as a gift.” – James McGreevey

2. Right vs what is wrong thinking

This will definitely help you shift your state dramatically. Our minds can and will only think about what we command it to think about. So when you focus on what is right in your life vs what is wrong you will see how blessed you really are, and this will create a shift in your emotional state.

Here is how this works best for me. On a piece of blank paper at the top on each side, write what is going right for you, and on the other side at the top also write what is going wrong. Start with what’s going wrong first, and get it all out of the way, write until your heart’s content.

On the other side, write all the things that have gone right for you in your life. Start with being alive, being a brother, sister, uncle, friend, having a roof over your head, clean drinking water, then start on your achievements. The trick to this is to write down EVERYTHING that comes to mind, and once again write until your heart’s content.

If you truly took the time and did this exercise you will see that there is absolutely no comparison about what is right in comparison to what is wrong. The right side should outweigh what is wrong. Work from there, and use that to help you build momentum.

3. Write down how you feel

Taking time to physically write down how you feel will help you understand why you feel the way you do. It’s one thing to have a thought, but when you put that thought on paper you are now forcing yourself to express exactly how that thought feels.

Before the pen touches the paper a thought has to go into what you are about to write, and if it doesn’t feel right, you will erase or cross out, and put down what it is that you are really feeling. This forces you to think about the state of mind that you are in, and if forces you to face it, because it is right in front of you.

We cannot hide from our thoughts, they will eventually come out in the words we say, and in the words that we write. Once you have your thoughts in front of you, read them out loud, and even better if you have someone to read them to, and ask yourself why am I in this state right now?

“Whether you’re keeping a journal or writing as a meditation, it’s the same thing. What’s important is you’re having a relationship with your mind.” – Natalie Goldberg

What are some ways you’ve helped yourself get out of a funk? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Whether you are a seasoned entrepreneur or just starting out, my expertise is helping people like you develop the mindset and strategies that you need in order to take your business to the next level and achieve massive success. Check out my website www.clifftownsend.com or connect with me through my Facebook page.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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