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3 Ways To Not Let The Pressure Get The Best Of You

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It’s very normal to think about giving up on the goals we’re working on and start thinking of something else to do, especially when we had a plan to complete the process in 2 months. Yet, it’s 3 months and nothing seems to be happening. Then we start harboring thoughts like “is this thing I’m doing right for me, or maybe I don’t have a lucky star in this area” and maybe it would be best to start looking for something that will bring reward and instant results.

Today, I want to remind you that the best things in life takes time to build. A Rolls-Royce takes a period of 6 months to build, and that’s why it’s a symbol of authority. Greatness takes time. So that’s why your goals are taking time.

Here are a few easy things you can do that will keep your goals and vision alive:

1. Know The More You Repeat Something The More You Believe It

Yes, I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’re hearing or even trying out affirmations. Maybe you’ve even been making affirmations since you started working on these goals, yet, these affirmations don’t seem to bring the dream to manifest. But here’s this, are you making the right affirmations and sticking to it and the process?

In making a concrete affirmation, know exactly what you want ($2000, a coach) and say it like you’re already in possession of it (I earn $2000 as a successful coach) until you become or get that thing you’re hoping for. Stick to the script because a change of script usually means a change in action.

Another thing you need to know about affirmations is sticking with the process. If you have to recite it three times a day, recite it three times a day. Don’t let “because I’m busy” make you ignore it. If you had to ignore it because of something, then it means that “something” is more important than that goal you’re trying to reach. And anything more important usually takes precedence in our life.

“I don’t sweat the small stuff.” – Gabby Bernstein

2. Don’t Forget “Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind”

Affirmations help you remind yourself of the thing(s) you want, but bigger than affirmation is a vision board. You cannot always carry your goal in your mind because you’ve recited it three times a day. But you will always think of something when you see it. 

So it’s best you have one affirmation and then let your vision board carry all the goals you’ll achieve when you reach that goal. The vision board should carry all the physical things you’ve always wanted which you’ll get when you fulfill your goals. On the other hand, your affirmations should talk about the person who you’ll be (the best life coach).

Your vision and affirmations should work hand in hand. When you recite your affirmations, it should automatically make you think about your vision board. I understand it might feel difficult to hang your vision board out there when you’re not living alone or you’re going to have friends visit you. Here’s this, if you won’t stand up for that which you want, it also won’t stand up for you.

If you don’t see the things which you want on your vision board, when you hit a problem, it will be easier for you to give up because it’s not working. But when the idea of giving up hits you and you turn to see your goals and the life you desire, you’ll have to convince yourself that you don’t want that beautiful life before you give up.

So photoshop yourself in front of that car, photoshop your face into that dream body, photoshop yourself in front of that house, into that stage, into that publication you want to write for. Then put them all up in your vision board.

3. Understand You Didn’t Start Because The Government Made Working On Goals Mandatory

The days where we’re forced to do something are almost way past or gone. This means that anything we’re working on is something we really want to work on. Bigger than you wanting to work on something is “why” you decided to work or start that particular thing. Yes, it’s easy to say it’s because you want a better life, but what exactly made you make the decision to want a better life?

Did someone tell you that you won’t make it? Did you lose all you have? Do you hate the fact that no one wants to help you? Are you tired of asking for the things you want? Write down the exact reason why you’ve decided to start working for a better life and don’t let go of it. The pain will push you. Nothing makes us do more than our emotions (how we feel).

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe” – Simon Sinek

Conclusion

Often times when it isn’t working, it doesn’t mean it won’t work. It means you currently don’t know enough, and therefore you have to learn more because generally, your current stage is always a result of your current level of knowledge and you can’t do more than that.

So strive to know more about your field than anyone else does, because you’re striving to become the best.

These are a few things that you should do and acknowledge whenever the going gets blurry.

What do you do when you’re feeling a lot of pressure from work, school, or life in general? Share your tips and thoughts with us below!

Mauris Othuke is a business consultant and copywriter for relationship and personal development coaches. He is an author at several publications who focuses on creating content that helps readers experience a turnaround in their personal lives or relationships. His aim is to give the readers so much value that they won’t have to think twice about coming back to always read his content or employ your coaching services. He spends his spare time giving men tips on how to understand women on Instagram. Learn more here https://linktr.ee/mauris.o.

Life

What Les Misérables Taught Me About Our Values

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Who am I? The ultimate question many of us try to answer. When I think of values, I think of Victor Hugo’s 1862 book, “Les’ Miserables”. In Hugo’s book, Jean Valjean, is used as a protagonist to highlight the power in redemptive love and compassion. Valjean goes into prison for stealing a loaf of bread, entering as a simple and decent man. His time in jail seems to have an unrepairable effect, where he emerges from the chain gang as a tough, bitter criminal who hates society for what it has done to him. (more…)

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7 Ways You Can Increase Your Concentration Right Away

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In today’s world, an overabundance of information and a large number of distractions is making it increasingly difficult to concentrate on performing the necessary tasks. In this article, I propose 7 simple methods that will train your ability to concentrate, while not taking you from your usual activities. (more…)

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5 Simple Hacks to Help You Develop the Habit That Will Transform Your Life

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It’s excruciating when we know what’s killing us but we can’t do anything about it because as you know, it is not easy to pull the brake on a high way. According to Napoleon Hill, “remember this always – the best (and one might say the only) way in which old habits may be removed is to form new habits to counteract and replace the undesirable ones”. (more…)

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Why Do We Have An Unconscious Bias and How Can We Manage It?

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When I hear someone using my name once in a while throughout the conversation we are having, I cannot stop myself thinking “this person must have read Dale Carnegie’s books or must have been influenced by someone who read them…” Have you just recalled a similar moment and it felt nice?

As Dale Carnegie famously said, “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and the most important sound in any language”. Why did Dale Carnegie highlight the importance of an individual’s name to that person in his “How to Win Friends and Influence People” book published in 1936?

Each and every one of us wants to feel special and unique. I guess he recommends using the person’s name in the conversation because that is one of the easiest ways to grab that person’s attention so that we can enhance the chances of getting our point across. However, I am more interested in this from the other side; hearing our names directly addresses our individuality, our need or desire to feel special and unique.  

Let’s park this one for now and we will come back. 

Categorization is essential to our survival

There is countless scientific research telling us about how our brains recognize similarities and put things into categories, which has been crucial to our survival in evolution and still helps us with a lot of things from learning new things to coping with the continuous influx of massive amounts of information through our senses. 

The continuous influx of information is mostly handled by our subconscious mind rather than conscious. It is estimated that our brains receive about 11 million bits of information every second through our senses, of which only 40-50 bits can be processed by our conscious mind. We process more information than we are aware of. The magic here is the subconscious mind.

An example is when you are at a very loud party where you hear a lot of words flying around without you recognizing each one of them, then suddenly, you immediately catch it when you hear your name. Your subconscious had been processing all of those words, without your awareness, but informed your conscious mind when your name was out there because it was relevant to you.

In order to most effectively process this much information and inform the conscious mind with only the relevant ones, our subconscious employs categorization as one of its strategies.

When our ancestors encountered some deadly predators in the African savanna, their subconscious prompted their conscious mind to immediately fight or flight by categorizing the information gathered through their senses into “predator / life threat / take action”. Most probably we are not descendants of the ones that were frozen rather than fighting or flighting! 

Although it is a completely different situation, the same strategy applied in remembering lists. Let’s look at the below two lists.

  1. lion, eagle, shark, leopard, hawk, whale, panther, falcon and dolphin 
  2. lion, leopard, panther, eagle, hawk, falcon, shark, whale and dolphin

The second list is easy to remember because it is reordered into relevant groups even though the content of the both lists are identical.

Subconsciousness is the magic and categorization is one of its key strategies. It is essential to our survival, learning new skills and processing information as well as bringing back the information we had processed and stored. 

This amazing skill has its drawbacks

As a result of our brains’ categorization strategy, we also categorize people, especially if we don’t know them as well as our closest ones.

Imagine I am sitting at the table next to yours while you are having your favorite coffee and working on your computer or reading your novel at your neighborhood coffee shop. I stand up, very calmly grab your bag, and start walking away. Your reaction might be quite different depending on my outfit. It could be much more vocal and harsh if I have a dirty T-Shirt and a pair of torn jeans on. However, if I have some navy colored, 3-piece suit and well-pressed white button up shirt on, you might even say something like “Excuse me, you might have picked up my bag by mistake”. (There is an experiment done by social psychologists which reported similar results)

Similarly, I would not be surprised to hear that my co-worker’s spouse is very skilled and knowledgeable in English grammar and literature because he is an English teacher. However, I would not expect it from my co-worker herself because she is an outstanding chemical engineer.  

This is defined as unconscious bias or stereotyping, as a result of our subconscious brain’s categorization strategy. The outfit I have at the coffee shop impacts your response to my action, because it puts me into a different category in your mind depending on my outfit. My co-worker’s and her spouse’s backgrounds make me put them into different categories, which might mislead me sometimes.

Just like we categorize things, it is very natural that we categorize people.  

The key question here for me is; how do we truly treat people as individuals so that they feel unique, just like as they would want, while we know that our brains categorize people

We can overcome unconscious bias 

Leonard Mlodinow, in his enlightening book “Subliminal”, suggests that “if we are aware of our bias and motivated to overcome it, we can.” That doesn’t mean that we need to fight our brain’s categorization strategy. We just need to employ our conscious mind more when we are working or dealing with individuals. 

Our unconscious bias might tell us scientists are bunch of technical nerds who cannot understand abstract concepts that marketers are talking about or it might say that marketers are some daydreamers who need to be grounded by scientists to the real world all the time. I am an engineer and I love thinking in abstract terms and I worked with quite a lot of marketers who thought primarily in factual and concrete terms. 

Spending some effort to learn more about individuals will help overcome unconscious bias. Gathering more information and qualities about them will make it easier for us to treat them as individuals rather than a member of the category we put them in our minds. 

The moral of the story here is to recognize the fact that our brains do categorize, and it is essential; but also, to recognize that every individual wants to feel unique. When we appreciate these two and keep reminding them to ourselves, we are one step closer to figuring out our own way to overcome unconscious bias and treat people more like individuals. 

What was the most interesting part of this article for you? Share your thoughts below!

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