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If Your Life Isn’t How You Want It, Here Are 4 Start Anytime Resolutions to Experience a Better Life



how to experience a better life
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Life has never felt different for anyone just because they want life to feel different. There’s usually this feeling that we’re not experiencing our best life or we’re not where we want to be that causes us to feel like life isn’t fair to us, because it seems like everyone is doing less than we’re doing but enjoying more than we do.

If you’ve ever wanted to experience things differently from how you’ve been experiencing them, then you just need to do things differently from how you’ve been doing them. Because what you currently have is as a result of the amount of knowledge that you have.

So here are the 4 things which you’re currently doing that when you do differently, will bring about that amazing life:

1. Replace Chasing People With Finding Yourself

I want to be in a relationship with A, I want to be like B, I want to have fun and travel like C.” Although it isn’t a bad thing to want better, you need to be reminded that all these things you’re trying to do are putting you on someone’s path, which isn’t making you the engineer of your own trail.

So instead of trying so hard to fit into people’s criteria, or chase people whom you want, it’d be best to start finding yourself. Most times, the people who end up saying money doesn’t bring happiness are those people who chase making money because others were chasing money.

If there isn’t a strong why, or a deep reason why you want to become that person or get that thing, quit it because it could not bring you the best experience or the happiness which you want.

In order to find yourself, take time to completely analyze yourself. Define your own tune, dance according to your rhythm, and sing with that voice which you have. There’s beauty in the struggle. When you focus on creating your own path, you’ll surely become better, and then people will be more attracted to you because originality is what attracts people.

2. Replace Not Being Real With Yourself, With Facing The Truth

There are thousands of things which we’ve said we’d do better, that if we think about now, would have made us somebody better than we are. Procrastinating is too easy. It’s easy to give in, but giving in isn’t what brings results. Taking the extra step or doing that which you don’t want to do is what always brings about success.

When the situation presents itself that you have to procrastinate, tell yourself “I’m going to procrastinate doing this because it’s not important”. If your conscience lets you go scot-free, then you have the right to ignore that thing. But if it doesn’t, it only means that thing is very important and it will help you live a better life, so by not doing it, we’re hurting ourselves.

Most of the time, we procrastinate just because we have to watch that new episode and then leave more important things which might bring us a reward. By procrastinating because we have to watch that new episode, we’re unconsciously telling ourselves that the new episode is more important than our goals or that thing which we have to do.

3. Replace Yes With No When It Doesn’t Suit

This is usually a tough one. Especially when you have to say NO to your loved ones. It generally makes us feel like we’re not empathic or we’re boring people. But on the contrary, most times when we agree to do what the other person is requesting, we often don’t enjoy the process because we know we’ve left something more important to do.

So here’s a way out, when it begins to feel awkward to say no, remind yourself that you’re not saying no because you’re a bitter person, rather, you’re saying no because you have something of greater value to do.

And here’s a less offensive reason to give when you say no. Instead of saying “No, I have something more important to do,” say, “I already have something that’s running out of time that I have to do” even if it’s you just working on your goals.

4. Replace Sleeping With Worry For Sleeping With The Future Vision

This might prove difficult when, let’s say you didn’t get the money you needed to do something the next morning. But as you already know, it’s bedtime meaning worrying at that time won’t bring a solution because it’s too late.

So when you replace worrying with the vision of the future, where you’re already enjoying that thing, an idea of what to do next might come to you. Even if an idea doesn’t come, just sleeping with happiness will allow you to have a good night’s rest and also keep your body in a more relaxed state compared to when you’re constantly fussing about the problem at hand.

Remember, you’re not starting anything new that will require you to do much, rather, you’re replacing what you don’t like for something that will make you feel happier and joyful.

Mauris Othuke is a business consultant and copywriter for relationship and personal development coaches. He is an author at several publications who focuses on creating content that helps readers experience a turnaround in their personal lives or relationships. His aim is to give the readers so much value that they won’t have to think twice about coming back to always read his content or employ your coaching services. He spends his spare time giving men tips on how to understand women on Instagram. Learn more here

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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