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3 Ways to Finally Commit to the Career Change You’ve Been Dreaming About

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How many times have you said you were going to leave the job that makes you miserable, burned out and empty only to give up after hitting a roadblock or rough patch? We’ve all done this, started out with the best of intentions but we quit trying and end up right where we started or worse. 

We end up feeling defeated and telling ourselves we’re a failure. Or we justify staying where we are because we question whether the change is worth it. We rationalize that we have a good-paying job, it’s stable, there’s financial security, it’s a good company, it’s an impressive place to work, etc.

Why does this happen? Why is it so difficult to stick with a change?

We don’t know why we’re seeking a change – Many times we don’t dig into understanding our “why”. Why do you want to change careers or jobs? Sometimes we want to make a change because we think we should make the change, not because we actually want to make it but because someone else tells us we need to change. Other times we think that the change will magically make our whole life better. If you have the resilience and perseverance to take the time to really dig into why you’re miserable in your job, discover what your purpose is, and then make sustainable change you’re more likely to find the fulfilment you’re searching for.

We think an external change is the answer – Hopping from job to job may seem like progress and you may be happier for a while, but a lot of the time it is short-lived. There may be instances where a change of environment may be appropriate but most of the time it’s not the external environment that needs to change, it’s your internal thought patterns and beliefs.

We think change happens overnight – Just like any significant changes in life, deep meaningful change takes time. It may feel like if you simply change jobs you’ll be solving the problem but it’s more likely that you’re only replacing one unfulfilling job for another and will wind up in the same place after the glow of a new situation diminishes. True change takes time and effort. It takes deliberate and intentional effort applied consistently on the things that will benefit you the most.

Now that we know some of the reasons why it’s difficult to stick to undertaking a career change, how can we be resilient and persevere so that we have a better chance to achieve our goals?

Below, are 3 ways you can finally make that a commitment:

1. Play the long game

It’s important to remember that change does not happen overnight, it’s a long process with ups and downs. Acknowledging that there will be times where you screw up or don’t make as much progress as you’d like, will set you up for bouncing back quickly. Consider creating a personal vision of where you want to be in the next one, three, or five years. Get very detailed about what your life looks like, how you’re spending your days, where you’re living, etc.

This vision can be like your north star and help you when you face decisions. Once you’ve set a goal, regularly reflect on your progress towards that goal, and don’t be afraid to pivot if needed. As you progress towards your goal, don’t underestimate the power of celebrating your wins and successes. This practice can keep you motivated and help you to see the progress you’ve made.

2. Get clear on your why

Digging deep to understand why you want a change, will help you make lasting and meaningful change. You won’t be wasting as much of your time and energy pursuing different positions because you’ll have a much clearer understanding of what you’re looking for. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t try out different careers but doing so in a deliberate way will get you closer to living your purpose and finding fulfillment more quickly.

An exercise to helping you figure out your why is called ‘Five Whys’. Asking yourself why you want the change, write down the first answer that comes to mind. Now ask the question again and write down your new answer. Do this five times until you get to the real reason. 

3. Focus your energy inward

As mentioned earlier, focusing on your environment can only get you so far but putting in the energy and effort to evolve your thinking and mindset will be what changes the satisfaction and fulfillment you have in your career. Gain clarity on your values, wants, and needs.

Bravely question your beliefs about what it means to have a meaningful career, what’s holding you back, and ways in which you can move forward. Telling ourselves we can’t do something can often really be that we won’t do something. Explore the patterns of your past attempts at a change, have you been in this same unhappy and unfulfilled position before? What are you willing to do differently now?

One of the biggest things I hear when working with coaching clients who have quit their jobs and pursued a career aligned with their purpose is, they wished they had the courage to make the change earlier. Allowing yourself the time and energy to get clear on your why and do the inner work will make following through on your commitment to making a career change easier and more sustainable.

Leah Masonick is a Life Purpose and Career Coach. She empowers courageous and determined professionals who feel lost, burned out, and unfulfilled in their life and soul-destroying careers to rediscover themselves and create the freedom to live their life purpose. Sign up for her free personal vision workbook and check out her coaching programs at leahmasonick.com. 

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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