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Hate Your Job? 8 Steps to the Career of Your Dreams

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hate your job

At one point or another, everyone has found themselves wanting to quit their crappy job.  Whether it’s the long hours, mundane work, or the manager who doesn’t treat you like a human being- we’ve all been there!

Here are 8 steps you can take to free your mind and nail your dream job:

1. Leave your job happier than you found it

In many of the “crappy job” scenarios, you’re not the only person at your job who doesn’t like it. It can be very tempting to engage co-workers in gossip and negativity, especially if you know you’re about to quit. Even if your job is beyond reconciliation for you, it’s always a good thing to leave a place happier than you found it.  People will remember how you made them feel, and this could make a difference at a later time in your career.

2. Go with the flow

Yes, your boss’s demands are ridiculous. Yes, you are underpaid and overworked, but what you resist, persists. When your work becomes more of a chore than a passion, let it! By resisting what you don’t like, you are focusing on what you don’t want and you are ultimately aligning yourself with more of that reality.

If someone on your job is crossing a boundary with you (i.e. workplace bullying, harassment etc.), that’s different, and you should definitely speak up to the appropriate authority figure and/or remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

However, in the case of non-human rights violations, by taking the path of least resistance, you will preserve your energy for focusing on the things you are excited about when searching for your dream job!  Life is all about perception, so take tough moments as an opportunity to remind yourself of how excited you are to look for a new and more aligned opportunity.

3. Why do you really not like your job?

This step is important! If you know why your current situation is problematic for you, you can decide more clearly what you actually ARE looking for in your next position. I’ve witnessed friends and co-workers over and over who look for a new job out of desperation, thinking anything will be better than this!  Unfortunately, they hadn’t actually decided on what they were looking for so they ended up taking the first offer that came along and 6 months later…same boat.

Take your time, and choose wisely! Jobs are not band-aids, and can drastically affect your quality of life. Ask yourself: Did you outgrow the work? The position? Maybe you need more of a work-life balance? Whatever the case, vow to make your next job, and not let your next job make you!

“You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.” – Sammy Davis, Jr.

4. Make friends with the unknown.

Searching for a job can be scary in a world that will constantly tell you how hard it is. But the truth is, even though there are infinite ways the unknown can challenge you, there are also infinite ways it can bring you exactly what you desire.

Stay focused on the vision you have for yourself, as your ability to do this will determine the manifestations that come forth. Watch videos about folks who landed their dream job. Read about people that leaped headfirst into their dreams! Do everything you feel inspired to, and know that the universe is conspiring with you!

5. Get excited about life.

The workplace can become a bit of a fishbowl, and it’s easy to forget that there’s a whole wide world out there. While you are job hunting, challenge yourself to think outside of the cubicle you’ve been sitting in. You will begin to open up your perception to potentially fulfilling opportunities that you may not have noticed otherwise. This moment is just another junction on the road of life, and you now have the chance to realize much more of your potential.

6. Have FUN with your job hunt.

If you are a funny person, and you don’t get hired because you made a joke in your interview- you will likely not enjoy working there anyway. Take it as a positive and keep pushing! Remember, you are interviewing your potential employer as much as they are interviewing you. By being yourself and interviewing for a position you believe is a true fit for your skill set and personality, you have a greater chance of feeling confident when presenting yourself.

7. Rejection is a good thing.

If a potential employer doesn’t think you are “the right fit for us at this time,” there are still countless opportunities for you to get a job that’s equal or better. Next time someone turns you down, remember this: it’s impossible to take something away from you that is in alignment with you.

So really, it’s not the “no” that determines how far you get, it’s how you perceive the “no”.  If you hold on and look at rejection as a reflection of your self-worth, you are likely to carry that vibration to your next interview, or even (God forbid) decide to stay where you are.

“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.” – Harvey Mackay

8. Stay positive.

Before I tell you why being positive is so important, let me first tell you what being positive actually means. For many, being positive means pushing their sadness down and holding onto the appearance of happiness such as telling themselves it’ll be ok, even if they don’t really feel that way.

What being positive actually means: face the perspectives that are holding you back.  Empower yourself to become aware of the thoughts you are thinking most often. Only then can you begin to tell yourself a new story.  

Choose a new job and a new perspective that excites you. You will be of the most service to yourself and to the world when you are emitting joy and passion!

What is the career of your dreams? Let us know in the comments below so we can find ways to help!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Chloë DeChelle is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area.  She teaches concepts based in Eastern philosophy, Quantum physics, and law of attraction with a heavy emphasis on empowered and conscious creation.  Her philosophy is simple "By being aware, we are always adding momentum to experiences. Why not choose what experiences we add momentum to?" To find out more about Chloë, visit her website or follow her on Facebook.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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