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Are You Sabotaging Your Future Self? Here’s What You Should Know



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I get the feeling we’ve all heard what it takes to be successful. We’ve probably heard it time and time again. I would go as far as saying there isn’t a secret step, ingredient, or set of bullet points you need to follow to be successful. 

If you had the opportunity to sit down and talk with successful people and ask them whatever you wanted about their success, do you think they would give a lot of the same answers? Maybe they wouldn’t give the same answers, but how about what characteristics or the “how did you become so successful?”

If you asked any top athlete, leader of an industry, mogul, or anyone that has achieved a level of success, I would be willing to bet they would all say, “they did whatever it takes to become successful.” 

They would all probably say, it takes dedication, self-discipline, desire, working tirelessly, focus, and a whole list of other attributes we’ve all heard before. But the bottom line is, they did whatever it took to achieve their level of success. 

And I’m talking about self-made women and men, not silver-spoon kids inheriting their wealth. Sure, some people were in the right place at the right time, but they all inevitably had to make sacrifices.

Why you need to sacrifice the short term for long term

What I’m driving towards is you need to sacrifice short-term gratification for long-term wins.

Over the past several decades, there have been numerous tests on delayed gratification. You may have heard of some of these tests.

To summarize, they would bring kids into a room, with some cookies on a table. They would explain to the kids, they can have one cookie now, or, if they wait 15 minutes, they could have two cookies. Naturally, some of the kids couldn’t resist and ate the cookie immediately, while other kids resisted the temptation and received the reward of two cookies after 15 minutes. The study goes on to show, the kids that were able to resist the immediate gratification, tended to have better SAT scores, better social skills, and were likely to achieve a level of success.

As adults, we’ve all experienced this, and gladly accept the short-term gratification over the long-term benefits. We know that eating fast-food or drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and not engaging in daily exercise is a poor decision, yet we still hammer down those fries. If we want to lose weight, we know that drinking soda, eating sugary snacks, and pizza will prevent us from reaching our goal. But so many people just can’t look past the short-term gratification. 

“The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term, is the indispensable prerequisite for success.” – Brian Tracy

In school, we know that keeping up on our studies will work better than cramming for a test the night before. Yet, we substituted watching a movie, partying, hanging out with friends, or whatever it was that brought us short-term gratification.

In the business world, if you’re self-employed, you don’t just work 8-5 Monday-Friday. You’re basically on call all the time. If you want to beat out your competitors, you need to be willing to do what your competitors won’t. If financial success or being on top is your end goal, you need to be willing to sacrifice weekend trips to the lake or watching the game on Sunday, or whatever it is that provides you immediate gratification.

It’s not a complex thought to realize if someone else is willing to do something you won’t because you’re playing golf, or drinking margaritas on the beach, they will take your spot. They will get the new business, and most likely the return business.

Top athletes constantly practice, workout, and study their opponents. They put in the work that will put them at the top. That trophy or goal at the end is what they strive for, so they delay the short-term gratification, put in the hard work, to get that long-term win. And that is what it takes to be successful.

How it’s relatable to your life

Finally, an example virtually all of us can relate to. Getting up early (like 5 am) seems to be a critical habit for successful people. If you work a normal 40-hour workweek with 8-5 normal hours, this means you have 15 hours where you’re not at work. Let’s subtract 8 hours for a decent night’s rest. This leaves you with 7 hours.

How much of that 7 hours is taken up via, watching tv in the evening? The average adult spends 4-5 hours watching tv, daily. Look it up. If you’re watching tv, relaxing, goofing off, then being successful is not as important to you, as you might think. You have to be willing to sacrifice activities that will bring you short-term relief or gratification. If you don’t, you’ll never hit your long-term goals.

A year from now, you’ll either be making strides to achieving your goals, or you’ll be sitting on the couch, remote in hand, wishing you would have started a year ago. Winning will always be achieved by sacrificing your short-term gratifications for your long-term goals!   

My name is Nicole Frazier. I”m passionate about women’s health and fitness, and have been so for 25+ years. My goal is to share what I’ve learned to educate and inspire others to live a healthier life. I firmly believe that if we consumed proper nutrition and exercised regularly, health issues related to obesity would drop dramatically. Not only would we benefit physically, but mental health would improve as well. I have a website that I post what I’ve learned and what I think can help those looking to lead a better, healthier life. Check out my post on how to get fit at home by clicking here.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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