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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Live Life to the Fullest

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It’s not a secret that social media is a major cause of depression nowadays. According to “Journal of Depression and Anxiety,” people using social media are almost three times more likely to develop depression than people who use it less often. While comparing ourselves to others is in our nature, it’s important to know how to stop comparing ourselves to others in a negative way.

1. Understand that you are shown the result, not the journey

The truth is that most people show only the highlights of their lives on social media. Usually you don’t get to see their everyday work, and everything they have to do to maintain that quality of life. Also, you never know what they had to sacrifice for that success. Maybe for them it doesn’t seem to be a sacrifice, but for you, it would be one. 

For example, you love spending time with your kids, and spending less time with them would be a sacrifice; while someone doesn’t want to have kids at all, so they have a lot of time to pursue their goals and achieve success. Would it work for you? Probably not. So, always keep in mind that you see only the result, not the journey.

2. Become fulfilled

The best way to stop comparing yourself to others is to become fulfilled yourself. Become a person who doesn’t need to compare themselves to others. However, this is neither a short nor an easy journey. You should have enough passion and what’s more important, dedication and persistence.

3. Set goals, make an action plan

In case you haven’t started your journey to success yet: set goals first. Be focused, don’t set too many goals. Prioritize your goals and put all of your energy into pursuing one goal at a time. 

After setting a goal, make an action plan. Keep in mind that both the plan and you should be flexible. If something doesn’t go as planned, review all options you have at hand and choose the best one possible. Sometimes the Universe shows you ways you could have never imagined or thought of before. Sometimes the worst situation ever turns out to be a turning point leading you to success much faster. 

Don’t overestimate your power. As a human being, you have little control over other people and situations. Just make sure you choose the best possible option thrown at you.

“You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” – Steve Garvey

4. Put your business first & social media aside

If you’re only beginning your journey to success, comparing yourself to people who are in the middle of the journey or have already achieved great success is just wrong. You will never get to your destination if someone else’s success distracts you from doing your job and discourages you. Spend as little time as possible on social media platforms and take care of your own business. Put your business first, always keeping in mind your end goal to motivate you.

5. You’re going through life at your own pace

Everyone has their own path and pace. If you have already started moving towards your goal, and you know that you won’t give up no matter what, sooner or later you will achieve it anyway. The only difference between you and the people who already have what you desire is the amount of time spent working on a particular goal. Keep growing, keep improving yourself, and you will finally succeed. 

Don’t give up on a goal even if it takes you longer than you expected, because you can always alter your plan. Stay flexible, and greet whatever the Universe gives you with gratitude. 

Even if an obstacle comes into your path, make sure you consider it a blessing in disguise. Obstacles are opportunities to look at something from a different angle and learn something new. After all, there is no certain way to achieve success, so stay flexible, adjust, and you’ll get there anyway.

6. Get rid of limiting beliefs

Get rid of your limiting beliefs ASAP. Don’t get discouraged by your limiting beliefs that tell you “you are not worth it” or “it’s impossible.” Whenever you hear something like that from your relatives, friends, or your own mind, question those beliefs. Are they true or are they deceiving you? Your mind may be deceiving you because it is against doing something extra and leaving its comfort zone. Fight your limiting beliefs! 

7. Stop caring about other people’s opinions

Stop caring about what people may think about you. Do your thing, be persistent, and stay focused. People don’t think about you often anyway. It’s better to try and fail than to regret that you’ve never even tried.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

8. Treat yourself well

Be your own best friend and don’t be too strict with yourself. Give yourself enough time to relax. Practice digital detoxing often or delete your social media accounts. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone or to impress other people. You also don’t have to show them your progress. You don’t have to tell them what’s been happening in your life.

Focus on your own life and your happiness. Praise yourself and thank yourself for the work you’ve done. Be grateful for what you have achieved, and be proud of yourself. Don’t give up even if you fail. 

How do you focus on yourself and create your own best life? Do you have any tips or advice for our readers? If so, comment below! 

Alice Turner loves sharing psychological and spiritual insights and writing about self-confidence, success, stress-free life, digital detox, money management, leadership, health, and high quality of life for https://mindfulnessinspo.com/

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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