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10 Life Lessons Learned From Suddenly Quitting My Job

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Quit your day job and start your own business life lessons

We all feel lost from time to time. Society has a way of beating us down with its arbitrary life rules and expectations. Just when we think we have it nailed, the rug can be pulled from below and we end up with a crushing realisation that actually, we don’t have it all figured out.

Questions arise, and you find yourself doubting your very existence.

Am I in the right career?

Do I have the ability to rise through the ranks and increase my income?

Is this it for me?

I felt all of this and more. Until the age of 31 I felt trapped in a menial customer service position that began to eat away at my soul. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I knew with absolute certainty that something had to change.

It did. When you back an animal into the corner it has no option but to come out fighting.

I quit my job and it was the scariest moment of my life. Would I sink or swim?

Well, 2 years later I have my own guitar tuition business and while it definitely wasn’t easy – the lessons I have learned on the way will be invaluable as I continue moving forward.

Hopefully, if you’re in a position where you are seeking to change your career or to start your own business, you can take a little something from the following 10 life lessons, such as…

 

Life Lessons Learned From Suddenly Quitting My Job

 

1. There is no such thing as the right time

Do you have a crazy life changing idea that you are putting off because the time just doesn’t feel right? You’re not the only one. I wrestled with my mind for years before I finally plucked up the courage to quit my job, and you know what?

It was a colossal waste of time.

Preparation is overrated. No matter how much thought, planning and care you put into something, you will always come up short.

Life doesn’t give a damn about how prepared you are. It wants people with the balls to make something happen.

 

2. People will think you are crazy but that’s ok

We’re fragile beings. Our ego likes to protect our little selves from all the bad people in the world. Even though we don’t like to admit it, many of our life decisions are taken because we care about what other people think.

It’s human nature.

After quitting my job it didn’t take long for the naysayers to crawl out of the woodwork and mock me for having ideas above my station. I heard it all;

You can’t do that. How will you survive?

You should have found another job first. You’ll regret it.

You’re insane!

But you know what? You soon learn to ignore the haters and it’s impossible to please everyone, so in future it’s best to just live life by your own standards.

 

3. You learn to become responsible for your own actions

Doing something as drastic as quitting my job without really thinking it through, led me to a profound realisation;

This is all down to me.

I don’t have work colleagues to drag me down or a narcissistic manager to crush my soul on a daily basis. There is no one to blame but myself if this goes down the toilet.

That’s the beauty of taking control of your life; you’re fully in the driving seat and the motivational surge you receive as a result of grabbing life by the balls is astounding.

 

4. Every problem faced becomes an end of level boss to defeat

Is life easy once you quit your safe job for a life of uncertainty? Hell no. It feels like an endless assault on the senses. You’ve heard of treading water? Well imagine treading treacle.

Just keeping your head above the surface is a herculean task by itself. Forget trying to run a fledgling business. Putting food on the table and paying the rent suddenly become the only goals worth bothering with.

But you learn to cope.

And then you look for the next challenge that passes your way. You defeat that one too.

In fact, you quickly learn that life isn’t that hard after all. It’s just a videogame and you’ve got invincibility mode enabled.

You’re bulletproof.

 

5. Life isn’t a linear process – there is no beginning, middle and end

I’ll admit; I believed that once I picked up a few students and started making a bit of cash, everything would sort itself out.

How naïve…

Just when things seemed to be moving forwards I would suffer a setback. The few students I had on my roster suddenly quit. No feedback, no apologies, nothing.

Gone, just like that.

And then I waited.

It took me 6 months before I found a few more students to take their place. That’s a long time to wait around without any proper income. Even now, I have good months and bad months, but I have come to realise that it’s all about the process, not the destination.

Life is too big to concern yourselves with. The present moment is all that counts.

 

6. You can make up the rules as you go along

Who in their right mind would give up a safe job, their own apartment and independence for an uncertain life as a guitar teacher?

On the face of it, it’s crazy. But I’ve always teetered on the edge of conformity – peering over the edge to see what is possible.

Who quits their job at the age of 31 and moves back home? Who starts a degree at the same time because it seemed like a good idea? Who fills their days with German study sessions and rigorous guitar practice when they aren’t working?

Me. I do that, because I can.

I’ve learned that confusing people with your day to day activities just means that you’re doing something right with your life.

 

7. Nobody can order you around, but you still need discipline

I have worked under some ridiculously inept managers in my time. Borderline psychopaths, bullies, bumbling buffoons and many other things that begin with the letter ‘B’; but they all have one thing in common…

They can’t tell me what to do.

Except, this led me to a strange realisation; without the structure and discipline of a full time job I became lazy. I needed my alarm clock and the threat of dismissal for not turning up on time to fuel my day.

This is something I still struggle with. I am slowly improving but the procrastination monster still rears its ugly head from time to time.

I’ve learnt that whatever we choose to do with our lives requires discipline to achieve greatness.

 

8. Fear is necessary for growth

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Life scares the hell out of me.

I used to think that there was a big difference between successful people and the likes of me. That somehow they were born with superpowers that enable them to surge through life with confidence and swagger.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Fear doesn’t discriminate. It engulfs us all. In fact, successful people experience more fear than anyone else because they are putting their balls on the line every single day

If you’re feeling scared then it’s a good sign. You are pushing yourself further; stretching your comfort zone and experiencing something new and exciting.

Accept and embrace fear because it’s the friend of exceptional people.

 

9. There will never be enough hours in the day

We always want more.

If it’s not money, then it’s time.

If it’s not time, then it’s success.

If it’s not success, then it’s respect.

If it’s not respect, then it’s money. It’s a vicious cycle – an addiction.

Life is a never ending quest to seek more of what we already have. But here is a novel idea… what would happen if we simply made better use of what we currently have? Of course, seeking to improve ourselves or our life situation is desirable but what is the point of acquiring more money if you can’t manage your current finances?

What’s the point in more time if you don’t make use of what you currently have?

What’s the point in building a reputation if you allow complacency to set in?

Everything; time, money and respect must first be earned and then utilised effectively. Do you only have $50 in your account? Stop binging on fast food and use that money wisely.

Do you only know a few people who trust and respect you as a businessperson or as a brand? Word of mouth is powerful; keep these people on side and you’ll reap the rewards later.

Do you only have 2 hours in the evening to spend with your loved ones? Make those 2 hours count.

Successful people make the best of what they have whilst continually striving to improve.

 

10. Excellence is 100% – everything else is failure

For years I coasted through life – doing the absolute bare minimum. Hoping that no one would notice how my whole existence was a master class in incompetence and laziness.

Everything from playing the guitar, my job, training in the gym and even my social interactions were all accomplished with this mentality. I felt like a fraud.

I needed to change, and fast. To do this I had to take a long, hard look at myself and accept that the only way I was going to be able to achieve anything is with complete transparency.

No more lies. No more covering up the cracks. It was time to get brutal.

I’ve discovered that success is a habit forged through a combination of time and effort. There are no shortcuts. Is it possible to put 100% into one area and then coast in another? For a while maybe, but eventually the lesser activity will start dragging the others down.

Consistency is the key. Eliminate the fat from your life and put 100% into whatever remains. Cement the habit and don’t settle for second best.

Since implementing this mentality my output has improved dramatically. My guitar playing has improved. My business has more students than ever. I’m finding that my studies and my assignments are getting easier. I am training harder than ever before and my diet is in check.

It’s not a coincidence.

By suddenly quitting my job I have finally learned how to live my life.

Try it. See what happens.

 

Gary Vaynerchuk Business Picture Quote

 

Jamie is a guitar teacher, writer and blogger from Bournemouth, England. After choosing to quit the typical 9-5 existence, he created Psycholocrazy to document his thoughts and struggles as he forges his own path in life. Jamie is a firm believer in following your own instincts so go ahead and grab his my free 33 page ebook and find out how to quit your job and live life on your own terms too. You can also find Jamie on facebook and Google+.

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38 Comments

38 Comments

  1. Jhasketan Garud

    Jun 5, 2017 at 12:16 am

    Hi Jamie,
    You have been a real inspiration. Thanks a lot.

  2. Rogel Rosas

    Oct 3, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    Congratulation my friend, what an accurate post I totally understand and relate with it all.

  3. Brenda

    Mar 15, 2016 at 11:18 pm

    I quit my job today as well.It was the right decision.I know I need to put my happiness first and it was draining me.Thank you for posting this.

  4. Sri

    Feb 24, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    Hi,

    Thank you. With business plans in my head and many commitments forcing me to stay at a job I hate for 6 years, now after reading your words, i feel free and my mind became enlightened. Why should we need to work for someone to grow? Instead, let us do what we love and we spend time with our loved ones without hesitation of asking permission/leave.

    Love you Jamie Flexman

    Sri

  5. Tega Omisore

    Oct 27, 2015 at 12:03 am

    OMG…I am actually in tears just reading this…i have been in such a confused and fearful state from the time i discovered my passion for my business outweights 90/10 my corporate job. what would people think, what would my husband think, what would the world think if i quit my S**t job and face my business squarely? Now i know that at age 36 I have been denying my true self, i asked myself over and over again, why cant i be like most people who stay in a paid job for 15 years…now i know its because i am EXCEPTIONAL and a true CEO at heart…you have helped me more than you can imagine…Thanks Jaime.

    • Harry

      Apr 25, 2018 at 10:38 pm

      Hi Tega….is there a way to get in touch with you…I am 36 too and want to quit my job and have many questions

  6. Mark

    Jun 19, 2015 at 9:37 am

    My favorite is no.10 – we should certainly strive for excellency in everything we do in life. Customer’s now demand it for all services, and are willing to pay a premium for it.

    Go for it and don’t look back – be fearless – very motivational article

  7. Ruth

    Jan 11, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    This has really changed my way of thinking towards the life I want to leave,I am encouraged and motivated by your teachings,I am taking action to start my new business without fear now,thanks Joel

  8. aziera

    Oct 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    i’ve just quit my job as a teacher for 14 years in government sector.Everybody keeps telling me that it is totally a wrong decision.I feel so lost and hopeless thinking of my future. However, after reading your article i feel better and motivated.

  9. Lee Conte

    Oct 3, 2014 at 1:48 am

    really great piece… thank you 🙂

  10. Nyanzi Joseph Gavin

    May 1, 2014 at 7:31 am

    Thank you so much Joel Brown!!! Your site as changed my life around completely. In 5years time I shall be gracing the covers of big magazines like FORBES. Because of the wisdom I have gleaned from this site, my Home-country Uganda is getting better and better. Africa shall never be the same again.

    • Joel Brown

      Joel Brown

      May 1, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Great to hear Nyanzi, thank you for dropping a comment 🙂

  11. rachael.

    Apr 22, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    Sounds familiar everybody thought i had gone psycho wen i first quit my job and some people are still on it n bitter with the same boss same cinditions same salary same everything i thought i couldnt stomach when i got “psycho”
    And am soon quiting this one for satisfaction at a new level

  12. businessstarter

    Apr 9, 2014 at 4:41 am

    Love this, it is a true view of someone that is starting a business that hasn’t got the go getter genes but just follows their heart. This gives me hope and inspiration – thank you

  13. taniya

    Mar 30, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    i want to follow all of them……

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Life

Are Your SMART Goals Keeping You Stuck in Mediocrity?

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SMART Goals – they are often seen as the gospel in the personal and professional development industry for goal setting, but are they doing more harm than good? For the most part, I can appreciate the motivation behind setting SMART goals. Do we need goals that are specific, measurable, actionable and time based? Absolutely! My sticking point, however, comes to the “realistic” part.

I don’t like the word realistic. To be realistic means to create a glass ceiling on our capabilities. “Realistic” says that there is a limit to what we can achieve. And yet time and again throughout history, we’ve watched human beings achieve feats that aren’t realistic.

It certainly wasn’t realistic to think that, in the midst of the Great Depression, that a man could build a now multi-billion-dollar company from an animated mouse. It’s not realistic to think that a single mother, who could only write her stories on the bus to and from work each day, would go on to create a billion-dollar empire in Harry Potter. And it certainly isn’t realistic to think that a boy who dropped out of school at 16 because of his struggle with dyslexia could go on to be one of the world’s biggest business moguls today – owning planes, building spaceships and a slew of other companies.

And yet, Walt Disney, JK Rowling and Sir Richard Branson have all created these legacies. All because they dared to be unrealistic, and to believe in their vision. I’ve heard coaches tell their clients that a goal isn’t realistic. I’ve had coaches tell me the same. I’ve listened as my clients tell me their dreams, only to follow it up with “…but I don’t think that’s realistic.” Who am I, and who are you, to say whether a goal is realistic or not?

So, if we’re not completely following SMART goals, how should our goal setting look instead? See below for the 3 step process that will change your life!

1. Follow Stephen Covey’s advice and begin with the end in mind

What is your vision? Write it down, draw it if you need. Be specific. Give as much of the minute detail as possible. Define vague terms like “successful”, “wealthy” or “freedom”. Still give these terms a measure – is successful making a $100,000 or $1 million? Is that before tax or after?

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” – Jim Rohn

2. Now, break it down

Having worked in the fitness industry for a long time, I know that one of the main issues in goal setting is that people focus on the wrong thing. They tend to look at the big goal they’ve set, not the next step. Think about it, when you climb a mountain, do you stare at the top, or do you look at where your next step needs to be?

Looking at the summit makes the entire climb daunting. It can seem so far away and out of reach. The same is true for our goals. If we’re looking at the “top” – say having a million dollars in the bank while we’re still at the bottom with $100 to our name, or an internationally run business while still working out of our parent’s garage – that gap can seem impossible to overcome.

Once you know where you’re heading, you need to break the vision down into small, actionable, mini-goals. This allows us to create the “steps” we need to climb the proverbial mountain.

Here’s an example, say my goal is to have a successful wellness retreat (successful defined as a profit of $1 million a year). Now that I have a specific and measureable vision, I break it down. What came just before that? Well, I would open the wellness retreat and run my first program. And just before that? I would email confirmation of the first program, with program details, to my registrants.

And before that? I would be marketing the program. Before that I would finish construction on the retreat facilities. Staff training, creating blueprints, finding financing, buying the land – these would all be steps that would need to occur on the way up to my vision being achieved.

Use this question to work all the way back until you reach where you are in life now. You now have a roadmap to show you how to get to your vision. It doesn’t matter if there are 10 steps or 1,000 steps that lie between you and reaching the vision. All you need to focus on is the step that lies just in front of you.

3. Become the person who achieves that vision

John Demartini, a human behavioural specialist, has said that humans cannot become what they don’t already think they are. So many times, I have my clients say to me “Once I achieve x, then I’ll be successful”.

Well, successful people become successful because they already believe they are. championship athletes win because for years prior they’ve been treating their bodies and training like they are a championship athlete. Successful entrepreneurs face each day with a mindset of success.

How do you embed the mindset of the person who has your vision? I love to use this lateral thinking activity: ask yourself “how will having (the vision) make me feel? What mindset will I have when I achieve it?”

Let’s use the wellness retreat example again. Having that retreat would allow me to feel healthy, like I was making a difference to others and I would feel at peace in myself. Then ask – “What other activities would allow me to feel this way?”. To feel healthy, I could attend the gym and yoga classes regularly, and eat whole organic foods. I would ensure I get plenty of sleep.

Other activities that would make me feel like I was helping others would be to have clients and help them work on their health, fitness and mindfulness goals. I could run meditation or yoga classes in my local area. And to feel at peace in myself I could schedule in time to go hiking or to be out in nature regularly. I would also make sure I had my own regular meditation practice.

“If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” – Les Brown

Can you see how it makes sense that someone who is already actively engaging in all those activities would then own a successful wellness retreat? Engaging in these activities, while we’re taking action towards our vision allows our unconscious beliefs about ourselves to shift into alignment with who we need to be to reach that vision. When we change what we believe to be true about ourselves now, we shatter any glass ceilings that have been keeping us stuck.

Using this three-step goal setting system, you now know the destination you’re travelling to, you have a roadmap to get you there, and the belief that you can. All that’s left to do is now is put one foot in front of the other.

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Life

Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through.

A couple years back, I had difficulty crawling out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and could barely muster out the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, foster new relationships, or build my business. I was caught in a spiral of downward momentum, breaking out of which required a massive amount of willpower. The root cause of my problems, I came to realize, was a lack of self-discipline.

I define self-discipline as the ability to do what needs to get done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. I believe that self-discipline is the one thing that separates everything you are from everything you’re capable of being. In this article, I’ll reveal the #1 habit I’ve developed to skyrocket my self-discipline and rapidly elevate my mood, energy levels, and focus in the process.

The Secret To Sending Your Self-Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally decide to start waking up early and set an alarm for 5am the next day. The next morning you groggily open your eyes to the sound of your alarm buzzing, and a part of you whispers to hit the snooze. Your decision in that moment, on whether to hit the snooze or not, is what makes all the difference.

When you get out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, you have effectively overcome your emotions and shown your brain who’s in charge. You have built momentum towards doing the right thing over the easy thing.

In every moment you have a choice. A choice to step forward into growth or back into comfort. The secret to developing warrior-like self-discipline is consistently making the decisions that move you forward into growth. And the #1 habit I’ve developed to build this muscle is starting my days with a cold shower.

“Self-discipline is the number one delineating factor between the rich, the middle class, and the poor.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Take Cold Showers Everyday (And Maybe You Should To)

Cold showers have been a regular part of my daily routine for a couple of years now and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: The days that I start with a cold shower always go more productive than the days that I don’t.

Taking cold showers provides an opportunity to exercise your willpower in overcoming the little voice in your head that doesn’t want to do it. This is the same voice that tries to talk you into  skipping your workouts, hitting the snooze, and reaching for that ice cream when you’re trying to avoid sugar.

Even after years of taking cold showers, I hear this little voice. But turning the knob to “C,” in spite of this voice, has been a great way to overcome my lower self and build momentum towards taking right action.

What’s more is that cold showers provide an incredible boost in energy and mood. So much so that cold showers are currently being studied as a possible measure against depression. What are the mechanisms behind this? Well, cold water exposure stimulates your body’s fight-or-flight response to which your sympathetic nervous system responds by rapidly elevating norepinephrine production.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter to enhance focus, mood, and attention. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure increased norepinephrine production in subjects by as much as 530%.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Another reason to take cold showers is for the immune system benefits. As a high achiever, I’m sure you’ve found it frustrating when you’re unable to function optimally due to illness. We’ve all been there. How much better would it be if you could radically decrease your chances of getting sick by simply taking a cold shower everyday? Because in this study, subjects that took cold showers had a 29% reduced likelihood of illness from work compared to the subjects that did not take cold showers.

All-in-all, taking cold showers has been a game changer not only in strengthening my mental resolve but in helping my body function more optimally as well. I don’t remember the last time I was sick and I no longer need an espresso to get my day going.

With access to a smartphone, you have access to more information and more computing power than the president of the United States had a mere twenty years ago. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Everything you could ever need to know or learn about success is literally at your fingertips.

As such, specialized knowledge is no longer a barrier towards achieving your goals. The only missing link between where you are and where you want to be is the ability to do the things you already know you should be doing.

I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure. Starting your days with a cold shower is a cheap, proven, and effective method to exercise your willpower and build momentum towards becoming the person you were meant to be.

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Life

Here Is Everything You Need to Know About Your Comfort Zone

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Although, a comfort zone can be defined as a state of mind in which people are at ease, in control of their environment and experiencing low level of anxiety and stress, this does not actually sum up the full meaning of a comfort zone. This is because different people have different anxiety and stress levels and the anxiety level of one man or woman might be above or below that of another. Therefore, comfort zones vary from person to person.

Therefore, the best way I can define a comfort zone would be a state of mind where a person’s anxiety and vulnerability are minimized to manageable levels. It is that area of your life in which you feel familiar with and in control of.

For example, some people love to go to work every morning and are used to the routine of going to work daily such that their work place becomes their comfort zone and leaving this comfort zone to become a freelancer or start a business can be every challenging for them. Of course, for others, a comfort zone could be the time they take their meals or that time after work when they relax in front of their television or with social media after a hectic day at work. Of course, comfort zones are not static because they change based on the areas of your life you feel most comfortable with.

When are you out of your comfort zone? What is outside your comfort zone? When you begin to feel vulnerable, anxious, stressed, uncomfortable about doing something, then you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or you’re faced with the threat of stepping outside your comfort zone. Therefore, what is outside your comfort zone is something that scares or threatens you, and, not necessarily with bodily harm.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there.”

The Psychological States

According to White Alasdair, there are three psychological states: the comfort zone, optimal performance zone and the danger zone. Where the comfort zone is the stress-free zone which you’re familiar with. The optimal performance zone is the zone just outside your comfort zone where your performance is enhanced by some amount of stress. The danger zone, which is beyond the optimal performance zone, is where you feel great anxiety and your performance is below the performance you can attain in your comfort zone.

However, the problem is making distinctions between these psychological states and knowing when and how far you are willing to leave your comfort zone and when to stay in its confines.

Why do you need to leave your comfort zone? See the 4 reason below:

1. Stunted Growth

If you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you will probably never grow to be more than you are. That means you will always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing. Most people who become addicted to their comfort zones usually end up unable to achieve their goals because they’re somewhat obsessed with doing things the same way they’ve always done them even when it’s not producing results. As a result, you can never really explore what you’re capable of doing and what you can accomplish if you stick to your comfort zone

2. To find your Passion

Not moving out of your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion because no passion can ever be found in the shadows of your comfort zone, it can only be found by stepping away from your comfort zone.

3. To make sure you don’t settle for less

Even though you’ve not found that thing that makes your heart beat very fast (like love or passion), your comfort zone might push you to settle for less than what you could have if you just stepped out of it.

4. So you don’t get left behind

When you stay in your comfort zone, you will be left behind. Colleagues will leave you behind and people who were previously behind you in terms of life or career progress would meet up with you and leave you behind as well.

Why Your Comfort Zone is Good Sometimes

Although, many times, people focus more on the cons of not leaving your comfort zones, people sometimes forget that it might not be the best idea for you to move out of your comfort zone.

Here are some reasons why you might need to stay in your comfort zone:

1. You are not prepared to leave it yet

Sometimes, you might need to stay in your comfort zone a little while because you’re not yet prepared to step out of it and you may face dire consequences. So, you might need to make sure that you’re actually prepared to leave your comfort zone before you leave it.

2. Are you going too far away from your comfort zone?

It is true that without leaving our comfort zones, we might never know what we are capable of and what we can do. However, that does not mean that you should take giant leaps away from your comfort zone. Start with baby steps and move to strides as you leave your comfort zone.

3. Assess yourself

It is very important for you to assess yourself before leaving your comfort zone to see if it is the best choice for you to leave your comfort zone or If what is bothering you is just fear to leave it.

How to Leave or Expand Your Comfort Zone

First of all, you have to understand how the varying influences (Like parents, peers, siblings, etc.) in your life have contributed to shaping and conditioning your comfort zone. You have to overcome these influences and the conditions that have shaped the boundaries of your comfort zone. You will also have to change your habits, routines and behaviors that relate to your comfort zone and its boundaries.

But you can’t just do these overnight, you have to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone and expand it. Here are few ways you can leave or expand your comfort zone:

  • Expose yourself to new environments that are just outside your comfort zone
  • Don’t overthink your decisions
  • Try new and different things like going somewhere new to eat, going to a different park to read, etc.
  • Don’t rely on your limited point of view, try to see things the way others do.
  • Do volunteer work
  • Challenge yourself from time to time

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

Conclusion

Although your comfort zone might be the most comfortable part of your life, it isn’t wise to stay locked in it as it will not allow you to be who you are capable of being. And, most certainly, your big dreams and goals won’t come to pass so you need to work for them, and you can’t do that from your comfort zone.

Do you think there are sometimes people should stay in their comfort zone or should people always push at the boundaries of their comfort zone relentlessly? Comment below!

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Life

8 Unconventional Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Confident people seem to have it all. They are admired by others and generally do well at everything they try. Self-confidence plays an important role in our success, both in business and life. People that are self-confident are usually risk-takers, they believe in their abilities and aren’t afraid to fail because they know they can get past any obstacles.

But for those that struggle to believe in themselves, building up confidence can be a daunting task. However, there are ways to build confidence that aren’t difficult to implement.

Here are 8 ways you can boost your confidence:

1. Trust your gut

How many times have you had an impulse that you didn’t act on? Whether in a business or personal setting, if you struggle with low confidence it’s easy to walk away from situations where you have to put yourself in the spotlight. When you find yourself in a situation like this, give yourself a countdown to action. Three, two, one, go! If you take action immediately you don’t risk talking yourself out of something that might be a great idea. When inspiration strikes take it as a sign, trust your gut instinct, and act.

2. Strike a power pose

In a 2012 TED talk by Harvard Business School social psychologist Amy Cuddy, the concept of the “Power Pose” (think Superman with hands on hips, chin up, chest out, feet apart and firmly planted) was introduced as a way to increase confidence and lower stress. By adopting expansive postures and taking up more space, her research claims that cortisol will decrease and testosterone will increase causing a boost in personal performance. If you find yourself feeling nervous about a meeting or presentation, find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and hold a power pose for two minutes.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Only share with your supporters

When we’re excited about a new idea or venture, we want to tell our friends and family. Often we are seeking encouragement, support, or even validation from the people closest to us. Many times, those people want to protect us from failure and disappointment and in doing so, they manage to squash our dreams and cause our confidence to plummet. If you must confide in someone, be careful who you share your goals or dreams with. Protect your confidence by sharing your deepest desires with only those people that support you unequivocally.

4. Daydream your way to success

Studies have shown that we have a better chance at success if we spend time visualizing the results we want to achieve. Athletes have long used the process of visualization to boost their confidence and in turn, enhance their performance.

In fact, one study from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, revealed that subjects who visualized their strength increasing for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for a total of 12 weeks, managed to do so without ever lifting a weight.

Top performers from the fields of golf, hockey, boxing, and even Olympians believe in the power of the mind to enhance their performance. Spend a few minutes every day in quiet contemplation seeing the outcomes you want in your life as if they have already become reality and you may see your confidence rise.

5. Failure is not bad

If we have issues with confidence often we will simply not act rather than risk failure. Keep in mind that many times quantity is more important than quality. The old saying practice makes perfect really does make sense. If we try we may indeed fail but if we then take that knowledge and try again, while making improvements and tweaking the process, we will hit on some winners. To build self-confidence, begin to redefine your definition of success, start to see your failures as opportunities to practice. Eventually your practice will make perfect.

6. Jump off the comparison train

These days people are obsessed with checking their social media accounts. In fact, a recent New York Post article, states that people check their phones over 80 times a day. With all this time spent on social it’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to others. No one posts a bad selfie, a video of their kid throwing a tantrum, or a bland image of their dinner of leftovers.

We are constantly barraged with beautiful people in beautiful places doing amazing things. It’s easy to compare our whole life to the staged, filtered, sliver of other people’s lives that is showcased on social. Jump off that comparison train with a social media detox and feel your confidence start to return.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

7. Loosen your grip

Going within can be a big confidence booster and people who practice meditation have reported an increase in their feelings of well-being, confidence, and self-worth. One of the reasons for this is that meditation allows us the opportunity to release the tight grip we have on attachment. We begin to allow our thoughts to float in and float out without judgement. This is particularly helpful when we are flooded with negative thoughts. By spending time developing a meditation practice we will learn to objectively observe our negative thoughts rather than allow them to take root and bring us down.

8. Know your stuff

You’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power” well I say knowledge is confidence. When we are in a situation and we feel comfortable that we know what we’re talking about, we feel confident. Confident in ourselves and confident in our abilities. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew all the answers and you still felt worried? No!

Do your best to know your stuff and confidence will be there for you. If you are prepping for a business event, make sure you feel comfortable speaking on your topic. The same goes for a social situation, if your confidence wanes when you can’t think of something to say, be sure you brush up on some recent news or have a few interesting stories to share. You will be calm and ready to go if you feel confident in your abilities.

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Life

Are Your SMART Goals Keeping You Stuck in Mediocrity?

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goal setting
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SMART Goals – they are often seen as the gospel in the personal and professional development industry for goal setting, but are they doing more harm than good? For the most part, I can appreciate the motivation behind setting SMART goals. Do we need goals that are specific, measurable, actionable and time based? Absolutely! My sticking point, however, comes to the “realistic” part. (more…)

Tiffany Toombs is a mindset coach, trainer, and presenter that specializes in helping people rewire their brains to overcome self-sabotage and limiting beliefs that stop them from finding success. Tiffany runs courses and workshops all over the world to empower people to take control of their lives and their minds so they can achieve their true potential in life. She believes that everyone has a message to share and helps her clients reconnect with themselves to find their passion and purpose. Tiffany has a range of valuable resources for people to understand their minds and how to access the power of their unconscious minds on YouTube or in her eBook “Unlocking The Secrets To The Unconscious Mind”.

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38 Comments

38 Comments

  1. Jhasketan Garud

    Jun 5, 2017 at 12:16 am

    Hi Jamie,
    You have been a real inspiration. Thanks a lot.

  2. Rogel Rosas

    Oct 3, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    Congratulation my friend, what an accurate post I totally understand and relate with it all.

  3. Brenda

    Mar 15, 2016 at 11:18 pm

    I quit my job today as well.It was the right decision.I know I need to put my happiness first and it was draining me.Thank you for posting this.

  4. Sri

    Feb 24, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    Hi,

    Thank you. With business plans in my head and many commitments forcing me to stay at a job I hate for 6 years, now after reading your words, i feel free and my mind became enlightened. Why should we need to work for someone to grow? Instead, let us do what we love and we spend time with our loved ones without hesitation of asking permission/leave.

    Love you Jamie Flexman

    Sri

  5. Tega Omisore

    Oct 27, 2015 at 12:03 am

    OMG…I am actually in tears just reading this…i have been in such a confused and fearful state from the time i discovered my passion for my business outweights 90/10 my corporate job. what would people think, what would my husband think, what would the world think if i quit my S**t job and face my business squarely? Now i know that at age 36 I have been denying my true self, i asked myself over and over again, why cant i be like most people who stay in a paid job for 15 years…now i know its because i am EXCEPTIONAL and a true CEO at heart…you have helped me more than you can imagine…Thanks Jaime.

    • Harry

      Apr 25, 2018 at 10:38 pm

      Hi Tega….is there a way to get in touch with you…I am 36 too and want to quit my job and have many questions

  6. Mark

    Jun 19, 2015 at 9:37 am

    My favorite is no.10 – we should certainly strive for excellency in everything we do in life. Customer’s now demand it for all services, and are willing to pay a premium for it.

    Go for it and don’t look back – be fearless – very motivational article

  7. Ruth

    Jan 11, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    This has really changed my way of thinking towards the life I want to leave,I am encouraged and motivated by your teachings,I am taking action to start my new business without fear now,thanks Joel

  8. aziera

    Oct 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    i’ve just quit my job as a teacher for 14 years in government sector.Everybody keeps telling me that it is totally a wrong decision.I feel so lost and hopeless thinking of my future. However, after reading your article i feel better and motivated.

  9. Lee Conte

    Oct 3, 2014 at 1:48 am

    really great piece… thank you 🙂

  10. Nyanzi Joseph Gavin

    May 1, 2014 at 7:31 am

    Thank you so much Joel Brown!!! Your site as changed my life around completely. In 5years time I shall be gracing the covers of big magazines like FORBES. Because of the wisdom I have gleaned from this site, my Home-country Uganda is getting better and better. Africa shall never be the same again.

    • Joel Brown

      Joel Brown

      May 1, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Great to hear Nyanzi, thank you for dropping a comment 🙂

  11. rachael.

    Apr 22, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    Sounds familiar everybody thought i had gone psycho wen i first quit my job and some people are still on it n bitter with the same boss same cinditions same salary same everything i thought i couldnt stomach when i got “psycho”
    And am soon quiting this one for satisfaction at a new level

  12. businessstarter

    Apr 9, 2014 at 4:41 am

    Love this, it is a true view of someone that is starting a business that hasn’t got the go getter genes but just follows their heart. This gives me hope and inspiration – thank you

  13. taniya

    Mar 30, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    i want to follow all of them……

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Life

Are Your SMART Goals Keeping You Stuck in Mediocrity?

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SMART Goals – they are often seen as the gospel in the personal and professional development industry for goal setting, but are they doing more harm than good? For the most part, I can appreciate the motivation behind setting SMART goals. Do we need goals that are specific, measurable, actionable and time based? Absolutely! My sticking point, however, comes to the “realistic” part.

I don’t like the word realistic. To be realistic means to create a glass ceiling on our capabilities. “Realistic” says that there is a limit to what we can achieve. And yet time and again throughout history, we’ve watched human beings achieve feats that aren’t realistic.

It certainly wasn’t realistic to think that, in the midst of the Great Depression, that a man could build a now multi-billion-dollar company from an animated mouse. It’s not realistic to think that a single mother, who could only write her stories on the bus to and from work each day, would go on to create a billion-dollar empire in Harry Potter. And it certainly isn’t realistic to think that a boy who dropped out of school at 16 because of his struggle with dyslexia could go on to be one of the world’s biggest business moguls today – owning planes, building spaceships and a slew of other companies.

And yet, Walt Disney, JK Rowling and Sir Richard Branson have all created these legacies. All because they dared to be unrealistic, and to believe in their vision. I’ve heard coaches tell their clients that a goal isn’t realistic. I’ve had coaches tell me the same. I’ve listened as my clients tell me their dreams, only to follow it up with “…but I don’t think that’s realistic.” Who am I, and who are you, to say whether a goal is realistic or not?

So, if we’re not completely following SMART goals, how should our goal setting look instead? See below for the 3 step process that will change your life!

1. Follow Stephen Covey’s advice and begin with the end in mind

What is your vision? Write it down, draw it if you need. Be specific. Give as much of the minute detail as possible. Define vague terms like “successful”, “wealthy” or “freedom”. Still give these terms a measure – is successful making a $100,000 or $1 million? Is that before tax or after?

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” – Jim Rohn

2. Now, break it down

Having worked in the fitness industry for a long time, I know that one of the main issues in goal setting is that people focus on the wrong thing. They tend to look at the big goal they’ve set, not the next step. Think about it, when you climb a mountain, do you stare at the top, or do you look at where your next step needs to be?

Looking at the summit makes the entire climb daunting. It can seem so far away and out of reach. The same is true for our goals. If we’re looking at the “top” – say having a million dollars in the bank while we’re still at the bottom with $100 to our name, or an internationally run business while still working out of our parent’s garage – that gap can seem impossible to overcome.

Once you know where you’re heading, you need to break the vision down into small, actionable, mini-goals. This allows us to create the “steps” we need to climb the proverbial mountain.

Here’s an example, say my goal is to have a successful wellness retreat (successful defined as a profit of $1 million a year). Now that I have a specific and measureable vision, I break it down. What came just before that? Well, I would open the wellness retreat and run my first program. And just before that? I would email confirmation of the first program, with program details, to my registrants.

And before that? I would be marketing the program. Before that I would finish construction on the retreat facilities. Staff training, creating blueprints, finding financing, buying the land – these would all be steps that would need to occur on the way up to my vision being achieved.

Use this question to work all the way back until you reach where you are in life now. You now have a roadmap to show you how to get to your vision. It doesn’t matter if there are 10 steps or 1,000 steps that lie between you and reaching the vision. All you need to focus on is the step that lies just in front of you.

3. Become the person who achieves that vision

John Demartini, a human behavioural specialist, has said that humans cannot become what they don’t already think they are. So many times, I have my clients say to me “Once I achieve x, then I’ll be successful”.

Well, successful people become successful because they already believe they are. championship athletes win because for years prior they’ve been treating their bodies and training like they are a championship athlete. Successful entrepreneurs face each day with a mindset of success.

How do you embed the mindset of the person who has your vision? I love to use this lateral thinking activity: ask yourself “how will having (the vision) make me feel? What mindset will I have when I achieve it?”

Let’s use the wellness retreat example again. Having that retreat would allow me to feel healthy, like I was making a difference to others and I would feel at peace in myself. Then ask – “What other activities would allow me to feel this way?”. To feel healthy, I could attend the gym and yoga classes regularly, and eat whole organic foods. I would ensure I get plenty of sleep.

Other activities that would make me feel like I was helping others would be to have clients and help them work on their health, fitness and mindfulness goals. I could run meditation or yoga classes in my local area. And to feel at peace in myself I could schedule in time to go hiking or to be out in nature regularly. I would also make sure I had my own regular meditation practice.

“If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” – Les Brown

Can you see how it makes sense that someone who is already actively engaging in all those activities would then own a successful wellness retreat? Engaging in these activities, while we’re taking action towards our vision allows our unconscious beliefs about ourselves to shift into alignment with who we need to be to reach that vision. When we change what we believe to be true about ourselves now, we shatter any glass ceilings that have been keeping us stuck.

Using this three-step goal setting system, you now know the destination you’re travelling to, you have a roadmap to get you there, and the belief that you can. All that’s left to do is now is put one foot in front of the other.

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Life

Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through.

A couple years back, I had difficulty crawling out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and could barely muster out the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, foster new relationships, or build my business. I was caught in a spiral of downward momentum, breaking out of which required a massive amount of willpower. The root cause of my problems, I came to realize, was a lack of self-discipline.

I define self-discipline as the ability to do what needs to get done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. I believe that self-discipline is the one thing that separates everything you are from everything you’re capable of being. In this article, I’ll reveal the #1 habit I’ve developed to skyrocket my self-discipline and rapidly elevate my mood, energy levels, and focus in the process.

The Secret To Sending Your Self-Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally decide to start waking up early and set an alarm for 5am the next day. The next morning you groggily open your eyes to the sound of your alarm buzzing, and a part of you whispers to hit the snooze. Your decision in that moment, on whether to hit the snooze or not, is what makes all the difference.

When you get out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, you have effectively overcome your emotions and shown your brain who’s in charge. You have built momentum towards doing the right thing over the easy thing.

In every moment you have a choice. A choice to step forward into growth or back into comfort. The secret to developing warrior-like self-discipline is consistently making the decisions that move you forward into growth. And the #1 habit I’ve developed to build this muscle is starting my days with a cold shower.

“Self-discipline is the number one delineating factor between the rich, the middle class, and the poor.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Take Cold Showers Everyday (And Maybe You Should To)

Cold showers have been a regular part of my daily routine for a couple of years now and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: The days that I start with a cold shower always go more productive than the days that I don’t.

Taking cold showers provides an opportunity to exercise your willpower in overcoming the little voice in your head that doesn’t want to do it. This is the same voice that tries to talk you into  skipping your workouts, hitting the snooze, and reaching for that ice cream when you’re trying to avoid sugar.

Even after years of taking cold showers, I hear this little voice. But turning the knob to “C,” in spite of this voice, has been a great way to overcome my lower self and build momentum towards taking right action.

What’s more is that cold showers provide an incredible boost in energy and mood. So much so that cold showers are currently being studied as a possible measure against depression. What are the mechanisms behind this? Well, cold water exposure stimulates your body’s fight-or-flight response to which your sympathetic nervous system responds by rapidly elevating norepinephrine production.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter to enhance focus, mood, and attention. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure increased norepinephrine production in subjects by as much as 530%.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Another reason to take cold showers is for the immune system benefits. As a high achiever, I’m sure you’ve found it frustrating when you’re unable to function optimally due to illness. We’ve all been there. How much better would it be if you could radically decrease your chances of getting sick by simply taking a cold shower everyday? Because in this study, subjects that took cold showers had a 29% reduced likelihood of illness from work compared to the subjects that did not take cold showers.

All-in-all, taking cold showers has been a game changer not only in strengthening my mental resolve but in helping my body function more optimally as well. I don’t remember the last time I was sick and I no longer need an espresso to get my day going.

With access to a smartphone, you have access to more information and more computing power than the president of the United States had a mere twenty years ago. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Everything you could ever need to know or learn about success is literally at your fingertips.

As such, specialized knowledge is no longer a barrier towards achieving your goals. The only missing link between where you are and where you want to be is the ability to do the things you already know you should be doing.

I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure. Starting your days with a cold shower is a cheap, proven, and effective method to exercise your willpower and build momentum towards becoming the person you were meant to be.

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Life

Here Is Everything You Need to Know About Your Comfort Zone

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Although, a comfort zone can be defined as a state of mind in which people are at ease, in control of their environment and experiencing low level of anxiety and stress, this does not actually sum up the full meaning of a comfort zone. This is because different people have different anxiety and stress levels and the anxiety level of one man or woman might be above or below that of another. Therefore, comfort zones vary from person to person.

Therefore, the best way I can define a comfort zone would be a state of mind where a person’s anxiety and vulnerability are minimized to manageable levels. It is that area of your life in which you feel familiar with and in control of.

For example, some people love to go to work every morning and are used to the routine of going to work daily such that their work place becomes their comfort zone and leaving this comfort zone to become a freelancer or start a business can be every challenging for them. Of course, for others, a comfort zone could be the time they take their meals or that time after work when they relax in front of their television or with social media after a hectic day at work. Of course, comfort zones are not static because they change based on the areas of your life you feel most comfortable with.

When are you out of your comfort zone? What is outside your comfort zone? When you begin to feel vulnerable, anxious, stressed, uncomfortable about doing something, then you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or you’re faced with the threat of stepping outside your comfort zone. Therefore, what is outside your comfort zone is something that scares or threatens you, and, not necessarily with bodily harm.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there.”

The Psychological States

According to White Alasdair, there are three psychological states: the comfort zone, optimal performance zone and the danger zone. Where the comfort zone is the stress-free zone which you’re familiar with. The optimal performance zone is the zone just outside your comfort zone where your performance is enhanced by some amount of stress. The danger zone, which is beyond the optimal performance zone, is where you feel great anxiety and your performance is below the performance you can attain in your comfort zone.

However, the problem is making distinctions between these psychological states and knowing when and how far you are willing to leave your comfort zone and when to stay in its confines.

Why do you need to leave your comfort zone? See the 4 reason below:

1. Stunted Growth

If you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you will probably never grow to be more than you are. That means you will always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing. Most people who become addicted to their comfort zones usually end up unable to achieve their goals because they’re somewhat obsessed with doing things the same way they’ve always done them even when it’s not producing results. As a result, you can never really explore what you’re capable of doing and what you can accomplish if you stick to your comfort zone

2. To find your Passion

Not moving out of your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion because no passion can ever be found in the shadows of your comfort zone, it can only be found by stepping away from your comfort zone.

3. To make sure you don’t settle for less

Even though you’ve not found that thing that makes your heart beat very fast (like love or passion), your comfort zone might push you to settle for less than what you could have if you just stepped out of it.

4. So you don’t get left behind

When you stay in your comfort zone, you will be left behind. Colleagues will leave you behind and people who were previously behind you in terms of life or career progress would meet up with you and leave you behind as well.

Why Your Comfort Zone is Good Sometimes

Although, many times, people focus more on the cons of not leaving your comfort zones, people sometimes forget that it might not be the best idea for you to move out of your comfort zone.

Here are some reasons why you might need to stay in your comfort zone:

1. You are not prepared to leave it yet

Sometimes, you might need to stay in your comfort zone a little while because you’re not yet prepared to step out of it and you may face dire consequences. So, you might need to make sure that you’re actually prepared to leave your comfort zone before you leave it.

2. Are you going too far away from your comfort zone?

It is true that without leaving our comfort zones, we might never know what we are capable of and what we can do. However, that does not mean that you should take giant leaps away from your comfort zone. Start with baby steps and move to strides as you leave your comfort zone.

3. Assess yourself

It is very important for you to assess yourself before leaving your comfort zone to see if it is the best choice for you to leave your comfort zone or If what is bothering you is just fear to leave it.

How to Leave or Expand Your Comfort Zone

First of all, you have to understand how the varying influences (Like parents, peers, siblings, etc.) in your life have contributed to shaping and conditioning your comfort zone. You have to overcome these influences and the conditions that have shaped the boundaries of your comfort zone. You will also have to change your habits, routines and behaviors that relate to your comfort zone and its boundaries.

But you can’t just do these overnight, you have to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone and expand it. Here are few ways you can leave or expand your comfort zone:

  • Expose yourself to new environments that are just outside your comfort zone
  • Don’t overthink your decisions
  • Try new and different things like going somewhere new to eat, going to a different park to read, etc.
  • Don’t rely on your limited point of view, try to see things the way others do.
  • Do volunteer work
  • Challenge yourself from time to time

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

Conclusion

Although your comfort zone might be the most comfortable part of your life, it isn’t wise to stay locked in it as it will not allow you to be who you are capable of being. And, most certainly, your big dreams and goals won’t come to pass so you need to work for them, and you can’t do that from your comfort zone.

Do you think there are sometimes people should stay in their comfort zone or should people always push at the boundaries of their comfort zone relentlessly? Comment below!

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Life

8 Unconventional Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Confident people seem to have it all. They are admired by others and generally do well at everything they try. Self-confidence plays an important role in our success, both in business and life. People that are self-confident are usually risk-takers, they believe in their abilities and aren’t afraid to fail because they know they can get past any obstacles.

But for those that struggle to believe in themselves, building up confidence can be a daunting task. However, there are ways to build confidence that aren’t difficult to implement.

Here are 8 ways you can boost your confidence:

1. Trust your gut

How many times have you had an impulse that you didn’t act on? Whether in a business or personal setting, if you struggle with low confidence it’s easy to walk away from situations where you have to put yourself in the spotlight. When you find yourself in a situation like this, give yourself a countdown to action. Three, two, one, go! If you take action immediately you don’t risk talking yourself out of something that might be a great idea. When inspiration strikes take it as a sign, trust your gut instinct, and act.

2. Strike a power pose

In a 2012 TED talk by Harvard Business School social psychologist Amy Cuddy, the concept of the “Power Pose” (think Superman with hands on hips, chin up, chest out, feet apart and firmly planted) was introduced as a way to increase confidence and lower stress. By adopting expansive postures and taking up more space, her research claims that cortisol will decrease and testosterone will increase causing a boost in personal performance. If you find yourself feeling nervous about a meeting or presentation, find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and hold a power pose for two minutes.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Only share with your supporters

When we’re excited about a new idea or venture, we want to tell our friends and family. Often we are seeking encouragement, support, or even validation from the people closest to us. Many times, those people want to protect us from failure and disappointment and in doing so, they manage to squash our dreams and cause our confidence to plummet. If you must confide in someone, be careful who you share your goals or dreams with. Protect your confidence by sharing your deepest desires with only those people that support you unequivocally.

4. Daydream your way to success

Studies have shown that we have a better chance at success if we spend time visualizing the results we want to achieve. Athletes have long used the process of visualization to boost their confidence and in turn, enhance their performance.

In fact, one study from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, revealed that subjects who visualized their strength increasing for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for a total of 12 weeks, managed to do so without ever lifting a weight.

Top performers from the fields of golf, hockey, boxing, and even Olympians believe in the power of the mind to enhance their performance. Spend a few minutes every day in quiet contemplation seeing the outcomes you want in your life as if they have already become reality and you may see your confidence rise.

5. Failure is not bad

If we have issues with confidence often we will simply not act rather than risk failure. Keep in mind that many times quantity is more important than quality. The old saying practice makes perfect really does make sense. If we try we may indeed fail but if we then take that knowledge and try again, while making improvements and tweaking the process, we will hit on some winners. To build self-confidence, begin to redefine your definition of success, start to see your failures as opportunities to practice. Eventually your practice will make perfect.

6. Jump off the comparison train

These days people are obsessed with checking their social media accounts. In fact, a recent New York Post article, states that people check their phones over 80 times a day. With all this time spent on social it’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to others. No one posts a bad selfie, a video of their kid throwing a tantrum, or a bland image of their dinner of leftovers.

We are constantly barraged with beautiful people in beautiful places doing amazing things. It’s easy to compare our whole life to the staged, filtered, sliver of other people’s lives that is showcased on social. Jump off that comparison train with a social media detox and feel your confidence start to return.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

7. Loosen your grip

Going within can be a big confidence booster and people who practice meditation have reported an increase in their feelings of well-being, confidence, and self-worth. One of the reasons for this is that meditation allows us the opportunity to release the tight grip we have on attachment. We begin to allow our thoughts to float in and float out without judgement. This is particularly helpful when we are flooded with negative thoughts. By spending time developing a meditation practice we will learn to objectively observe our negative thoughts rather than allow them to take root and bring us down.

8. Know your stuff

You’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power” well I say knowledge is confidence. When we are in a situation and we feel comfortable that we know what we’re talking about, we feel confident. Confident in ourselves and confident in our abilities. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew all the answers and you still felt worried? No!

Do your best to know your stuff and confidence will be there for you. If you are prepping for a business event, make sure you feel comfortable speaking on your topic. The same goes for a social situation, if your confidence wanes when you can’t think of something to say, be sure you brush up on some recent news or have a few interesting stories to share. You will be calm and ready to go if you feel confident in your abilities.

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