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Why The Younger Generation Doesn’t Want To Own Stuff

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Baby boomers keep telling me I should own stuff. I’m not sold. In fact, I’ve done the exact opposite. That nice BMW, sold; all of the stuff I never use like vinyl records and old posters, sold. Then there’s the technology. We’re all addicted to having the newest whatever and half the time it’s no different from the previous model.

I’ve been a possession junkie for most of my life. When you’re making good money, it’s easy to buy things and not even notice. Ultimately, when I analyse it carefully, the times I brought things were typically to fill a void in my life.

You can’t buy your way to happiness and owning stuff is not the answer to success even though TV, movies, and the Internet try and make us believe this myth.

Here are 8 reasons why young people like me no longer want to own stuff:

1. Progress only matters in life, not stuff

We’re sold this dream that the more we keep updating and improving with material possessions the happier we’ll be. This is only partly true. In reality, the more we progress as a person and continue to experience growth, the happier we’ll be.

Growth is a fundamental human need, and it’s what all happy and sane humans need. Young people have figured out that when you buy something new, the good feeling only lasts a few days or maybe weeks if you’re lucky. Then, like magic, it’s gone.

2. Starting a business makes more sense

We’re in the age where anyone can start a business for next to nothing. Rather than spend all your money on possessions, it’s now far more popular to invest in a startup. Young people have figured out that you can’t work full-time for someone forever.

“At some point, you have to cut the umbilical cord of your false sense of safety, and start your own thing”

This may be part time forever, and that’s cool. Young people know that you need multiple revenue streams just like a business does.

By saving up your money to invest in a business, you get to hopefully do something you love, and make some money on your own terms. Yes, you may fail miserably, but eventually, you will start the right business.

3. Stuff depreciates

Young people have figured out that the value of stuff goes down quickly. The moment you buy a car and drive away from the showroom, you’ve just lost money. We’re in a new world now where the sharing economy has taken over.

It’s often cheaper to share an asset with other people because you are never going to use anything 24/7.

4. We have less room

Finding places to store stuff is becoming increasingly difficult because we’re often living in smaller places than our parents. Piling up garages full of useless junk that we never use is no longer cool anymore. Owning less has become the smarter way to live.

5. It’s impossible to own

While we’re on this whole topic of ownership, I hate to break it to you, but there’s no such thing. You’ll never own anything for eternity unless you have drunk the magic water and are going to live forever.

We all have an expiry date and so those things you think your own, are only on loan to you while your two feet are on the ground. After that, they become someone else’s. That’s what we young people have figured out, and that’s why ownership is no longer popular.

6. Owning makes us feel worse

Clutter makes our mind feel uneasy. That’s why when I write blog posts I clear all the junk out of my office and make everything feel nice and clean.

Owning also gives us unneeded stress. Do any of us need more stress? No, thank you. Statistically we’re more stressed than ever, and a lot of that has to do with the stuff we own. Free your mind from all the negative feelings and sell some stuff.

Go on eBay and unload as much as you can. The beauty is that you’ll have a pocket full of money for your next holiday before you know it.

Possessions also create worry because we’re afraid something could happen to them. They could get stolen or damaged. They may wear out sooner than we expected. Oh no, what do we do with all of these what if’s? Buy insurance? No, sell my friend.

Have you ever seen one of those picker shows? It’s where they go to some old person’s home and look at all of their antiques and tell them how lucky they are. Usually, the owners of all the junk are fat, old, depressed, and lonely.

The junk has become a burden, and that’s why the picker is there in the first place. These people with all these barns of stuff look like some of the unhappiest people on the planet…there’s a reason for that!


7. The concept of success has changed

Success used to be based on your postcode and how many cars you had. Young people reinvented the idea of success when they discovered college debt. College debt makes us young people have to work ten times harder, often for something that doesn’t bring us a lot of success.

That’s why, now, debt is frowned upon by young people. The reason we don’t want to own stuff anymore is that it requires debt to purchase all of these possessions. Personal debt (business debt is different) equals more pain and less freedom. Doesn’t sound like much fun to me.

8. Experiences are everything

The most popular reason why young people don’t want to own stuff is because we value experiences. Rather than owning stuff, we want to experience life. It’s very hard to travel when you’re trying to pay for your AirBNB accommodation and your permanent residence.

When you don’t own you can do whatever the hell you want and go wherever you want to go. Instead of living in one city you can live in every city. If you’re best mate on the other side of the world calls you up to come over and watch the latest James Bond movie you can.

All you have to do is jump on a plane, and you’re there. No more being bored because your surroundings can be different as often as you want. You’re not tied to useless possessions and out of date models of the world.

The upside of experiences is that they involve other people. We get to have an experience and share it with the people close to us. Hearing about other people’s possession is freaking annoying, and no one likes it. Hearing about experiences though is captivating, and we all love it.

How do you feel about owning stuff? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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