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Your Overwhelming Positivity May Be Stopping You From Succeeding



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Remember how our elders used to tell us that too much of anything can be bad? Well, they were right. Most of us believe that positive thinking is the key to success, and based on that belief, we tend to teach ourselves to radiate positivity under all circumstances. But what if one day you discover that your overly optimistic approach towards everything is the real reason why you haven’t achieved anything concrete in life?

The fact can be hard to digest, but a number of studies have supported it. Over the years, people have achieved great feats with a positive attitude and the right amount of optimism, but nobody has ever said how much positive thinking is ideal for success.

Here are 4 reasons why your positivity may be stopping you from success:

1. Ignoring the existence of negative emotions

Life is all about maintaining a balance. You learn the value of “good” because of the existence of “evil.” People value life because death is undeniable. Similarly, in order to succeed in life, you need to keep a balance between your positive and negative emotions. There’s no way you can feel complete if you start ignoring all your negative feelings.

If you stay positive all the time and never experience the emotional pain, you may never find the reason to change yourself for the better. Negative emotions like anger or rage teach people how to grow in life amidst all the challenges.

There was a study done when researchers asked a group of students with low self-esteem to repeat the statement “I’m a lovable person”, the students ended up feeling more insecure than ever. If they were asked to face their insecurities, it might have worked better.

2. Creating your own version of reality

People may have told you to nurture optimism to have a prosperous life, but the practice often distracts you from acknowledging the real issue.  Too much optimism can undoubtedly cloud your mind and influence your decision making abilities. As a result, we often fail to measure the risks.

Furthermore, being overly optimistic often makes us feel invincible. It tricks us into believing that nothing bad can happen to us. Every day, we make unhealthy lifestyle choices, like smoking and drinking (alcoholism), thinking it won’t affect us too much. But in reality, these are the leading causes of deadly diseases like cancer and cirrhosis.

Optimism is not a bad thing. It encourages us to take the leap of faith when everything else slips out of our hands, but when you start ignoring the real situation or begin to believe that magic is going to happen – that’s where you make a mistake.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill

3. Imagining you control everything

Have you ever heard of the term “illusion of control?” Psychologists describe it as a tendency in people to overestimate their ability to control every outcome. If you are overly optimistic about everything, the chances are that you may also develop an illusion of control.

Let’s make the point even simpler for you with an example. You may have noticed how people still invest in lotteries, despite knowing the fact that their odds are as low as one in a million. It’s funny how people think they have a better chance at winning if they get to pick the numbers for themselves in a lottery.

The ideal way to deal with a challenging situation is to assess all the crucial factors and keep yourself from getting carried away by enthusiasm and extreme optimism. If we wear the glasses of positive thoughts all the time, it may prevent us from looking at the situation with a realistic approach. Eventually, it may lead us to failure.

4. Finding solace in utopian thoughts

Success comes to those who dare to defy the odds, not to those who only think of succeeding. It has been observed that when people are told to imagine the best possible way of accomplishing a particular task, their productivity is negatively impacted. On the other hand, when people are told to think about the adverse or realistic outcomes, their performances actually improved.

It is true that we often lose motivation when we know how we can simply overcome the challenges. Once our mind goes through the experience of achieving success, it becomes harder to convince the mind to accomplish the task in reality.

In a recent study, it was revealed that people who display an incredibly optimistic approach, were less likely to clear their dues (outstanding credit card balances, bank loans etc.) and save a lesser amount of money than an average person. It is because they believe that they can tackle all these challenges quite easily. What they don’t understand is that they are actually dragging themselves into a bigger problem.

“When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.” – Elon Musk


No matter how many self help books you read or how many motivational speeches you listen to, nothing can lead you to success unless you figure out your own way to deal with your emotions.

Optimism can be helpful if it’s put in the right place. In fact, it can improve your chances of achieving success to a great extent, but you should not get carried away with all the positive thoughts and utopian beliefs. Perhaps, the ideal way to achieve success is to maintain a right balance between your realistic approach and optimism.

How do you make sure to maintain a balance between optimism and realism? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator



Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.


2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.


3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.


4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.


5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.


6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.


7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.


8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.


9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.


10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.


11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.


12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.


13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.


14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.


15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.


16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.


17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.


18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.


19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.


20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.


By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at so you can master your life with more success.

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