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Here’s What Most People Are Getting Wrong About Positivity

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What if I told you being positive is a big waste of time? Would that be crazy? Well, trust me, It’s not. And that’s because 90% of people use positivity completely wrong. And going further, it can lead to feelings of inauthenticity and low-grade motivation at best. But there’s a way to fix this. And I guarantee that when positivity is done this way, it can be a powerful source of motivation that reinforces your confidence and pride in the process.

How Everybody Gets Positivity Wrong

You’ve seen generic motivational phrases before. You know, phrases like:

  • You can do it!
  • Anything’s possible!
  • Just believe!

And so on, and so on. But if you’re anything like me, saying these phrases feels completely inauthentic and even a bit icky. Why is that? Because they’re not based on reality. More specifically – they’re not based on my reality. What I’m getting at is the fact that these phrases have absolutely nothing to do with my experiences, personality, or how I usually succeed in life. They’re simply canned statements that anybody can shout. And it’s impossible to ignore this fact.

“Positivity always wins. Always.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

The Key To Making Positivity Work

You’d be a fool to completely dismiss positivity altogether. You just got to know how to make it work in an effective and genuine way. And there’s an easy way to do that. The secret is simply making your motivational phrases positive and objective

The first part is obvious. Just make sure it actually feels like a motivational phrase. But objective? What does that mean? Let me first share where I learned about this technique.

There’s a sports psychologist named Dr. Jon Fader. He wrote a book called “Life As Sport,” and he talks about this technique called “Objective Optimism.” And he specifically points out that this method has been used successfully on many of his outstanding athletic clients.

(And bear in mind, results are everything in sports. There’s no space for fluffy positivity that “might” be helpful)

In fact, there’s an Israeli former welterweight boxing champion that uses this technique as well. His name is Yuri Foreman. And he repeats certain mantras in his head during a match to keep his focus and motivation strong and steady. Based on his list, it’s clear that everything he tells himself is a reminder that he’s earned his place in the ring. Here’s a few things he repeats:

  • “I’ve trained hard.”
  • “I’ve done all the work.”
  • “I’m ready.”

Now, here’s how you can use this – think of where you’ve already succeeded in life, or where your performance is best. It can be a big or small success. Or even a reliable characteristic you have.

For example:

  • Consistently going to the gym
  • Getting a good job
  • Mastering an instrument
  • Staying calm when it matters
  • Being an effective planner

Really, there’s no “too low” threshold here – every win, proven skill, and achievement counts. And once you’ve determined a few of these, just choose the most relevant one to your current goal and then turn that “win” into a motivational phrase you can use when you need it. All of a sudden, what was once a generic statement is now an evidence-based tool for motivation.

Here’s a couple of examples:

  • “They chose me.” (If you’re feeling underqualified for a promotion, just remember they chose you for a reason – your skills and potential are real)
  • “My calm creates power.” (If your major skill is remaining calm, use this phrase when you need to take control of haywire situations and settle things down)
  • “Just another rep.” (I use this when I’m feeling resistance in the gym. It’s a reminder that I’ve already done thousands of reps before – so what’s one more?)
  • “I’ve put in the work.” (Like with Yuri Foreman, if you’ve put in the training for something, don’t let that fact slip your mind when it matters. Use this phrase to put things in perspective)

As you can see, it’s much more powerful when your motivations are born from real-life experience. They carry a weight that has immediate and long term impact on your ability to get things done. And the best part is they’re custom-tailored to you as an individual – nobody else can use it but you.

“believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” – Charles F. Glassman

Your “Mantra” For Success And Motivation

These statements are kind of like using NOS in a car – when you feel yourself losing speed or meeting resistance to the task at hand, you bust it out to gain speed and momentum again. But if you use low-grade NOS instead (aka fluff positivity), don’t expect to get much mileage out of it. Instead, focus on using your evidence-based motivational phrase – aptly named by Dr. Jon Fader, the “Mantra.”

And most likely, you’ll feel motivated, authentic, and even proud because your phrase reminds you of the fact that you have wins in your life already. And now, it’s being used to fuel even more wins.So don’t wait to make your mantra and use it to gain even more success today.

Ericson Ay Mires here, and if you’d like to see more motivation advice like this, you owe it to yourself to download the first chapter of my ebook, “Motivation Instinct,” for free - it shows you why typical advice like “just be positive” and “visualize your success” doesn’t work for the average person… and the “dangerous” motivation method I use to create instant, long-lasting motivation to achieve all my goals instead.

Life

These 7 Daily Resolutions Can Change Your Life

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We all strive to be better every day. Most of us want a new day to bring something new, and we plan for it as well. Of course, the execution is debatable as procrastination is real and it becomes an overwhelming feeling at times. Also, not to forget the customary practice of making resolutions on new year’s eve!  All of us are fascinated by the thought of preparing long lists of resolves to mark the beginning of a new year. Not sure how many people are able to translate these resolutions into functional realities. (more…)

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4 Reasons Why Content Is Pivotal For Mental Health Healing

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One of the most important things for an entrepreneur’s mental health is expressing their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is where content creation and writing becomes pivotal. Whether you read something that resonates with you or you write a compelling blog post, the act of expressing yourself through content can help to put a smile on your face and make you feel better about things.

Most entrepreneurs don’t spend as much time taking care of their mental health as they should. Over the course of your career, you will experience a lot of ups and downs; these emotions have the potential to take a toll on your mind and body if you don’t learn to manage them properly.

Here are four reasons why expression through content is pivotal for healing, slowing yourself down, and giving yourself grace when the going gets tough.

1. Content can be a form of self-expression

When you are an entrepreneur, you frequently face feelings of insecurity, doubt, fear, apathy, and exhaustion, just to name a few. Some days it feels like no one is on your business’s side and everyone else has it all figured out. On those days some of us try to look at our website’s analytics to cheer up. 

But an even more freeing task is creating content. You create content to improve your business and reach more people’s lives. But, there is something special that happens when you write with the intention of expressing your thoughts and feelings — you open a door to yourself. 

Content is inherently personal, which means content creators open themselves up when they share their thoughts on a platform. Everything from the title of the post, the keywords they choose to include, and even the content itself helps you to understand who the author of that post truly is. And as an entrepreneur, this can be an important experience because it allows others to empathize with you.

2. Self-reflection will lift you up

As you think through what to write about and how to express yourself, the process of self reflection is a valuable step you need to go through. You’re able to reflect on the blessings you have, assess what you learned from the negative experiences, and create a plan on how to maintain the positive experiences you’ve had. 

There are a few ways that self reflection can help you with mental health healing. The act of reflecting on your experiences helps to create clarity in feelings, thoughts and emotions which will eventually lead into acceptance for what has happened or is happening currently without feeling overwhelmed by it all. This process also leads people towards finding new things they enjoy doing. Self reflection is therapeutic and can be implemented anytime you feel the need to overcome overwhelm.

“Writing in a journal each day allows you to direct your focus to what you accomplished, what you’re grateful for and what you’re committed to doing better tomorrow. Thus, you more deeply enjoy your journey each day.” – Hal Elrod

3. A sense of belonging and camaraderie

It is important to have a support network of people who will listen and understand what you are going through. When you post a blog or upload a video on YouTube, there are others who feel the same way and experience a sense of connection with you.

When you put time, attention and thoughtfulness into your writing, it is amazing when someone reads what you’ve written and comments on it thanking you or expressing how they resonate with what you’re going through. It’s hard to put into words how powerful it feels when someone who has gone through the same experience and reads your words then reaches out.  There is power in expression but miracles happen when people bond over a similar experience.

4. Library of content to share with more people

It can be very difficult to know what content to share with people as the symptoms of mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, etc.) vary from person to person. But as you accumulate more and more content, this will increase the number of articles or videos available for readers to choose from depending on their specific purpose. It also builds your personal library of resources you’re able to share to different people you encounter or engage directly with.

As chaotic and distracting social media can be, it can also be a beacon of hope with the right content. Many people share viral posts, or content that interest them. Since your content is valuable and personal, the more you share it, the more likely it is to be shared with the right audience.

You never know who is watching (reading)

Your content is speaking to someone and even though they may not be actively engaged, their experiences with your work are impacting them. Think about the last time you watched TV: did everyone in the room have something entertaining to say? 

You never know who’s watching because there’s always somebody reading your posts or viewing your videos-even if they just skim through it briefly. This is why creating content worth consuming is critical, not only to get you out of your funk, but also to serve your audience.  Be authentic and stay true to yourself; make every post count as an opportunity for connection with your best self and for potential readers to bond with you.

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Life

5 Ways To Invest In Yourself and Change Your Life

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Warren Buffett once said, the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Time and money spent on bettering yourself are never considered a waste. Whether it’s through learning how to make money online, exploring new ways to increase your financial security, or watching TED talks to expand your knowledge. Do not be stingy when it comes to self-improvement because it will definitely pay off in the end. 

Need some ideas to get started on your journey to becoming a better you? Here are 5 ways to invest in yourself and transform your life. 

1. Change Your Self-Concept

Having a negative self-concept can have a tremendous impact on your life. Limiting beliefs and self-doubt are some of the main reasons why many never achieve or attempt to pursue their dreams. Take a moment and think about all the negative thoughts you have repeated to yourself throughout your life. How have these thoughts impacted the way you live life? From now on, create a new self-image by turning these negative thoughts into positive ones and appreciate your good qualities. 

2. Sign Up For An Online Course

If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your Photoshop skills or learn how to code professionally, this is the perfect time to get started. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you can access an endless amount of valuable information online. For example, sites like Coursera and Youtube are both awesome resources for online learning. With a few search strings and clicks, you can find all the information you need. 

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” – Robin Sharma

3. Learn From a Mentor

No matter which stage of your life you are currently in, working with a mentor can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Not only can they guide you in the right direction, but also transform your vision, provide you with new insights, and connect you with amazing resources. If you’re feeling unmotivated or unsure about what you want to do in life, consider finding a mentor to help you navigate this process. 

4. Start A Side Hustle

The salary from a 9-5 job would rarely allow you to reach your maximum income potential. Why not achieve financial success while pursuing your passion by starting a side hustle? Whether it’s through starting an ecommerce business, freelance writing on the side, or starting a Youtube channel. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money, and there is bound to be one out there that fits your passion and skills. 

5. Nourish Your Body

As many may say, “health is the new wealth”. Without a healthy and functioning body, living a fulfilling and comfortable life becomes difficult. To take care of your body and prioritize your wellbeing, start with small habits such as eating healthier foods and exercising regularly. Bike or walk to work instead of taking the car, and opt for a healthy protein bowl instead of greasy burgers at Burger King. With time, these small habits can make an incredible difference.

Check out the infographic below, to see more ways you can invest in yourself:

home-electrification

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Life

How to Turn Inward and Detox Your Mind

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When we are overwhelmed by confusion, our psyche tries to establish certainty to alleviate our discomfort. This is usually accomplished by mentally imagining and acting out a plot. Unfortunately, much of the time, we mentally visualize pessimistic (or worst-case scenario) scenarios to provide certainty. (more…)

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