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4 Necessary Steps To Take And Break Negative Patterns

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How do you adopt negative or positive patterns? The first environment you experience is the one you were born to. You hear what others are saying, how they act, you experience their personality.

The way you think and act as you grow is shaped by your surroundings, no question about it. What many of us tend to do is carry habits from our childhood, many times not good habits. Of course, it depends on how you grew up as well.

Other “source” of harmful habits can come from our way of living. We get too comfortable, and before we know it, our bathroom scale was showing 50 pounds more than six months ago. You and I slip from time to time. Everyone does, we are humans. Having bad habits is natural, but it isn’t for life. You can eliminate them and grow at the same time.

Here are four practical steps you need to take to free yourself from negative patterns and make necessary changes:

1. Identify them

The first step you need to take is to recognize your negative habits. Look at your life. What is it you don’t like about yourself? Maybe you have taken an action and afterwards felt sorry. Maybe you don’t like your body. Are you constantly yelling at your kids and after feel guilty about it?

You have to find out exactly what it is you want to change and be clear with yourself. Do you drink too much and the day after you feel depressed and sad? Sit down and write it on a piece of paper. It will make you committed to the change you are about to take.

Be honest with yourself. No one is standing next to you and judging you. As I mentioned above, we all have bad habits. The point is to find it, see it, admit it to yourself.

“Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.” – Carlos Santana

2. Look at every unfavorable impact it has on you

So, now you know what drags you down. Now you see why you feel the way that you do. You are doing something in your life that doesn’t benefit you; it does the opposite. Face it. What has changed in your life since you adopted this pattern?  How does it make you feel? What are you missing on? How does it impact your days?

Put yourself in a state of total pain. Stop apologizing for your behavior and quit blaming others. This step is the one which will make you feel bad about yourself even more, but it is necessary to make it clear and see reality. You can only change if you are willing to stand face to face to the problem, identify it and make the firm decision to change it.

 

3. Imagine your life without it

You have passed the hard times. You took two of the most difficult steps, and you faced reality. I feel proud of you because I know it requires a lot of effort. Now use your entire imagination and visualize the positive outcome you’ll have once you make the necessary changes. How does it feel?

Do you feel the positive emotions going through your body? What you see now is the new

YOU. It is someone you will become if you are willing to take the challenge and change those negative patterns you have adopted. You are who you created.

Don’t ever put a label on yourself. You are not fat or moody or mean. It is only the way you act, not who you are.

 

4. Get to work

So you thought about everything, made yourself feel good and bad as well. Now it’s time to do something. The action is the step where many people fail. They desire to change and they talk about change but they never actually take a serious step towards it. Action means to implement your knowledge into practice.

Let me give you an example. In the past, I had temper issues. It affected my life and mostly, relationships with people around me. It became so painful for me that I knew I had to do something. The first step I took was to count to 10 every time I get angry. Sounds very simple but these baby steps taught me that everything is possible, and I can take control over my life and my attitude.

It is great that you realize what you do wrong but without appropriate action, you will see little results. Don’t procrastinate. Do you want to lose weight? Don’t wait until you buy a gym membership or you have day off from work. Put your sneakers on, go out and start running. Get the momentum.

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” – Rumi

Breaking negative patterns and being able to change means you are taking control of your life. Until you do that, life will control you whether you like it or not. Remember that only once you eliminate bad habits you have, you can live happy and joyful life. Everything is available to you; you just have to take the first step.

How are you going to break free from your negative patterns? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Silvia Turonova is a mindset coach who teaches women how to develop more self-trust and inner confidence while learning how to bet on themselves. She hosts a podcast Courage Within You and is passionate about teaching others how to coach themselves. Get her free self-coaching worksheet here.

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Did You Know

How to Turn a Simple Link-in-Bio Into a Powerful Brand Hub

Transform your forgotten bio link into a high-impact gateway that fuels engagement, clicks, and conversions across every social platform.

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Social media is one of the greatest marketing tools in 2025. According to a recent study, some 86% of marketers globally use platforms like Facebook and Instagram for advertisements, while 94% use it for content distribution.  (more…)

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Personal Development

These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident

Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
Image Credit: Midjourney

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

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