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4 Necessary Steps To Take And Break Negative Patterns

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How do you adopt negative or positive patterns? The first environment you experience is the one you were born to. You hear what others are saying, how they act, you experience their personality.

The way you think and act as you grow is shaped by your surroundings, no question about it. What many of us tend to do is carry habits from our childhood, many times not good habits. Of course, it depends on how you grew up as well.

Other “source” of harmful habits can come from our way of living. We get too comfortable, and before we know it, our bathroom scale was showing 50 pounds more than six months ago. You and I slip from time to time. Everyone does, we are humans. Having bad habits is natural, but it isn’t for life. You can eliminate them and grow at the same time.

Here are four practical steps you need to take to free yourself from negative patterns and make necessary changes:

1. Identify them

The first step you need to take is to recognize your negative habits. Look at your life. What is it you don’t like about yourself? Maybe you have taken an action and afterwards felt sorry. Maybe you don’t like your body. Are you constantly yelling at your kids and after feel guilty about it?

You have to find out exactly what it is you want to change and be clear with yourself. Do you drink too much and the day after you feel depressed and sad? Sit down and write it on a piece of paper. It will make you committed to the change you are about to take.

Be honest with yourself. No one is standing next to you and judging you. As I mentioned above, we all have bad habits. The point is to find it, see it, admit it to yourself.

“Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.” – Carlos Santana

2. Look at every unfavorable impact it has on you

So, now you know what drags you down. Now you see why you feel the way that you do. You are doing something in your life that doesn’t benefit you; it does the opposite. Face it. What has changed in your life since you adopted this pattern?  How does it make you feel? What are you missing on? How does it impact your days?

Put yourself in a state of total pain. Stop apologizing for your behavior and quit blaming others. This step is the one which will make you feel bad about yourself even more, but it is necessary to make it clear and see reality. You can only change if you are willing to stand face to face to the problem, identify it and make the firm decision to change it.

 

3. Imagine your life without it

You have passed the hard times. You took two of the most difficult steps, and you faced reality. I feel proud of you because I know it requires a lot of effort. Now use your entire imagination and visualize the positive outcome you’ll have once you make the necessary changes. How does it feel?

Do you feel the positive emotions going through your body? What you see now is the new

YOU. It is someone you will become if you are willing to take the challenge and change those negative patterns you have adopted. You are who you created.

Don’t ever put a label on yourself. You are not fat or moody or mean. It is only the way you act, not who you are.

 

4. Get to work

So you thought about everything, made yourself feel good and bad as well. Now it’s time to do something. The action is the step where many people fail. They desire to change and they talk about change but they never actually take a serious step towards it. Action means to implement your knowledge into practice.

Let me give you an example. In the past, I had temper issues. It affected my life and mostly, relationships with people around me. It became so painful for me that I knew I had to do something. The first step I took was to count to 10 every time I get angry. Sounds very simple but these baby steps taught me that everything is possible, and I can take control over my life and my attitude.

It is great that you realize what you do wrong but without appropriate action, you will see little results. Don’t procrastinate. Do you want to lose weight? Don’t wait until you buy a gym membership or you have day off from work. Put your sneakers on, go out and start running. Get the momentum.

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” – Rumi

Breaking negative patterns and being able to change means you are taking control of your life. Until you do that, life will control you whether you like it or not. Remember that only once you eliminate bad habits you have, you can live happy and joyful life. Everything is available to you; you just have to take the first step.

How are you going to break free from your negative patterns? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Silvia Turonova is a mindset coach who teaches women how to develop more self-trust and inner confidence while learning how to bet on themselves. She hosts a podcast Courage Within You and is passionate about teaching others how to coach themselves. Get her free self-coaching worksheet here.

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Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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