Success Advice
7 Ways to Face Adversity Using the Power of Extreme Ownership
Adversity is an inevitable part of our lives, and it is an important and defining factor of our personal story. The stories we build for ourselves in the face of adversity will either empower or discourage us emotionally, help us move forward or remain stuck in the past, allow us to grow or to decline.
The way we respond to adversity is a real choice we have to make and embrace because it will determine how we live our lives. Most people never see adversity in a positive light, thinking that the universe is out to get them, because they don’t want to take complete responsibility for their lives, but prefer to blame anyone else for all the hardship.
Even in situations that are genuinely out of your control, fault and ownership should not be confused. It may be the case that dramatic events happen, that we neither can prevent nor predict, like losing someone close, health issues, or a global pandemic! It may not be our fault they happened, but it is still our responsibility how we decide to live our life after that, how happy we want to be and how involved in deciding our own fate.
To change our perspective on adversity, and use it as a tool for personal development, we have to choose the way we respond to people and events purposely. There is the alternative to embrace fatalism, the negative approach where anything besides us is at fault, or we can choose to respond with resilience and ownership.
Extreme ownership is a term coined by two former U.S. Navy SEAL officers, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, in their 2015 book Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win. It asks you to accept some hard truths. You own everything in your world, including the mistakes, the failures and the results of the people you lead. You admit each mistake without excuses. And you commit to relentless self-improvement and to building stronger relationships with the people around you.
What Is Extreme Ownership: The Short Answer
Extreme ownership is a leadership mindset in which you take full responsibility for everything in your world, including your mistakes, your team’s failures and the outcome of your mission, with no excuses and no blame. Jocko Willink and Leif Babin built the idea from their time leading SEAL Task Unit Bruiser in the Battle of Ramadi, Iraq, in 2006. It works the same way in business, relationships and personal life. It doesn’t mean everything is your fault. It means everything is your responsibility to fix.
The idea was born from the worst day of Jocko’s career. During a 2006 operation in Ramadi, a firefight broke out between friendly forces. One friendly Iraqi soldier was killed and others were wounded, including one of Jocko’s own SEALs. Jocko could have blamed any number of people for the mistakes in that operation. Instead, he walked into the debrief and told his commanding officer there was only one person to blame: him, because he was the commander. Instead of losing the trust of his superiors and his team, he gained it. That moment became chapter one of the book.
“Leaders must own everything in their world. There is no one else to blame.” – Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, Extreme Ownership
Hear Jocko tell the Ramadi story himself in his TEDx talk:
Extreme Ownership Principles: All 12 at a Glance
The book is built around 12 principles, one per chapter, grouped into three parts. Each one is a lesson from combat in Iraq, applied to business:
| Part | Principle | What it means in everyday life |
|---|---|---|
| Part I: Winning the War Within | 1. Extreme Ownership | You own every outcome in your world. No excuses, no blame. |
| 2. No Bad Teams, Only Bad Leaders | A team’s performance reflects what its leader accepts and tolerates. | |
| 3. Believe | You have to believe in the mission before you can convince anyone else to. | |
| 4. Check the Ego | Ego gets in the way of planning, feedback and admitting mistakes. | |
| Part II: Laws of Combat | 5. Cover and Move | Teams win together. Help the other team so the whole mission moves forward. |
| 6. Simple | Keep plans and orders simple enough that everyone understands them. | |
| 7. Prioritize and Execute | When everything’s on fire, tackle the biggest problem first, then the next one. | |
| 8. Decentralized Command | Leaders at every level make decisions because they understand the “why.” | |
| Part III: Sustaining Victory | 9. Plan | Define the mission, plan for what can go wrong and debrief after. |
| 10. Leading Up and Down the Chain of Command | Keep your team informed, and give your boss what they need to support you. | |
| 11. Decisiveness amid Uncertainty | You’ll never have all the information. Make the best call you can and adjust. | |
| 12. Discipline Equals Freedom | Disciplined routines and standards create the freedom to adapt. |
The 4 Laws of Combat: How to Use Them Off the Battlefield
The Laws of Combat are the four principles in Part II of Extreme Ownership: Cover and Move, Simple, Prioritize and Execute, and Decentralized Command. SEAL units used them to win in chaos, and they apply just as well when your business, career or personal life is under fire.
1. Cover and Move
In combat, one element provides cover so another can move, and nobody advances alone. Off the battlefield, this means you stop treating colleagues, departments or family members as rivals. If another team is struggling, helping them get the job done is how you win too. Ask yourself, “Who do I need to support so the whole mission moves forward?”
2. Simple
Complex plans fall apart under pressure. If your team can’t explain the plan back to you in plain words, the plan is the problem. Cut your goals, instructions and to-do lists down until anyone could follow them on a bad day.
3. Prioritize and Execute
When several problems hit at once, trying to fix them all at the same time means you fix none of them. Jocko’s battlefield version is “Relax, look around, make a call.” Step back, pick the single highest-priority problem, put all your energy into it, then move to the next one. This is the most useful Law of Combat when adversity piles up.
4. Decentralized Command
No leader can control everything. Make sure the people around you understand the mission and the reason behind it, then trust them to make decisions without waiting on you. In your personal life, the same idea applies: you set the intent and the standards, then let your habits and systems do the work.
Now let’s put the Laws of Combat to work on the hardest test of all: adversity.
Here are seven ways to use extreme ownership when life hits hard.
1. Acceptance
One of life’s certainties is change, and that means there will always be challenges to face, relationships to manage and hardships to overcome. If we accept that we cannot escape adversity or the suffering that might come with it, we might have the chance to learn to react positively and constructively to the issues we encounter. This type of accountability mindset will help us get in the driver’s seat of our life.
“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.”– Malcolm X
2. Tell another story
No matter how well we plan for our future, some cases are hard to imagine and prepare for, and unexpected setbacks will seem to sabotage our efforts. The power of extreme ownership can help us become resilient in our pursuit for our goals because success is not always a straightforward rote. When adversity strikes, we should not despair or perceive it as a problem, but rather use it as an opportunity to make it a meaningful experience and learn valuable lessons.
When adversity presents itself, it’s high time to draw wisdom and build resilience, by owning and shaping our story. The opportunities that come with it can foster creativity, growth, and self-confidence, all of which can help us write our new narratives.
3. Internal resources
When we own up to the fact that adversity is part of life, we also should be determined to do everything in our power to prepare for the events, by cultivating emotional strength, decision-making skills, self-awareness, discipline. This “task” of permanently improving ourselves will help us towards a more balanced life because we will be more equipped to face anything that might come.
4. External resources
The personal support system of the people around us can be valuable in times of adversity. Even if we consider ourselves to be mentally prepared for anything, everyone needs help occasionally and investing in trustworthy relationships and positive people may be the support to get us through. When times are hard, having people around to share experiences and learn from theirs will help us realize we are not alone. We have to look for inspiration in the fact that others have overcome similar adversity, find mentors for guidance or role models to look up to.
5. Purpose
When going through adversity, it often happens that we get more clarity and the chance to shift our attention to what is really important to us. If we take ownership over our real purpose in life, setbacks along the way can be easier to reframe in the greater scheme, because the lessons they bring might help us reach your goals, eventually.
Finding our life’s purpose can seem overwhelming, but it is important to consider that it is a life-long journey, based on searching deep for answers to what drives us and what makes us truly happy, but also what we are willing to endure to get there. With this list in mind, extreme ownership will keep us moving forward, pushing through challenges towards the ultimate purpose.
6. Believing in yourself
After going through the efforts of finding our true purpose, building our inner resources and outside conditions, the only thing that remains is to believe and trust in ourselves. We have to own our past achievements, however big or small, give ourselves credit and understand how much more we are capable of accomplishing. We also have to own our mistakes, because we learned from them and we are now better for that. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader to boost your morale and embrace a positive attitude towards the future, transforming adversity into opportunity, rather than an obstacle.
“There is no education like adversity.”– Benjamin Disraeli
7. Focus
Extreme ownership also teaches about prioritisation and focusing on behaviours that ensure success, because these are the things that we can actually control. Analyse the situation and ask the crucial questions to clarify your position – “How did I get here?”, “What can I do to improve my past decisions”, “What opportunities does it bring?”. The answers to those will have to be aligned to our core values and priorities, in order to keep us on the path to self-improvement in the face of adversity.
Jocko’s “Good”: What Discipline Equals Freedom Really Means
Jocko’s best-known answer to adversity is one word: “Good.” When a mission got cancelled, a promotion didn’t come or an injury set him back, he would look at the problem and say “Good,” then find the opportunity inside it. A cancelled mission means more focus on the next one. A loss means you learned something. As he puts it, if you can still say the word “good,” you’re still breathing, which means you’ve still got some fight left in you. It’s extreme ownership in its shortest form. You don’t wait for the situation to change. You take ownership of your response right away.
“Discipline equals freedom” is the other side of the same mindset, and it’s the title of the book’s final chapter. Discipline means waking up early, keeping your plans simple and holding high standards when nobody’s watching. Jocko argues that this kind of discipline gives you more free time and more room to adapt when things go wrong. Undisciplined people are always reacting. Disciplined people have options. If you want the practical side of that idea, learn how to build systems that make discipline sustainable.
“Discipline equals freedom.” – Jocko Willink
It has been said that what does not kill us, makes us stronger but being proactive about adversity, preparing for it to the best of our abilities, will give us the upper hand in life’s challenges. We will become not only stronger, but the way we will approach adversity will no longer be defined by what happened to us but by our response to it.
The power to overcome adversity comes from responsibility, resilience and determination. When faced with challenges, it is important to remember that how we interpret and how we move on from them is a choice. If we accept we cannot escape adversity, welcome the situation with an open mind, learn our lessons and continue to believe in ourselves, we can become free from worry, fear and frustration.
Extreme Ownership: Frequently Asked Questions
What is extreme ownership in simple terms?
Extreme ownership means taking full responsibility for everything in your world, including your mistakes, your team’s results and your response to setbacks, without making excuses or blaming anyone else. Navy SEAL officers Jocko Willink and Leif Babin made the term popular in their 2015 book Extreme Ownership.
What are the 4 Laws of Combat?
The four Laws of Combat from Extreme Ownership are Cover and Move (teams support each other), Simple (keep plans easy to understand), Prioritize and Execute (handle the biggest problem first), and Decentralized Command (leaders at every level make decisions based on a shared understanding of the mission).
Does extreme ownership mean everything is my fault?
No. Fault is about what caused a problem. Ownership is about who takes responsibility for solving it. You can own your response to a layoff, an illness or a bad economy without having caused it. Extreme ownership puts your focus on what you can control next.
What does Jocko mean when he says “Good”?
When something goes wrong, Jocko responds with “Good” and then looks for the opportunity inside the setback. A cancelled plan frees up focus for another one, and a loss teaches a lesson. It’s a quick way to stop complaining and start taking ownership of what happens next.
How do I practice extreme ownership every day?
When something goes wrong, ask, “What could I have done differently, and what will I do now?” Admit mistakes quickly, keep your plans simple, handle your highest priority first and build disciplined routines so you have room to adapt when adversity hits.
Success Advice
Why Students Struggle With Focus and How to Fix It
You sit down to study with the best intentions. The textbook is open, the assignment is due soon, and you know exactly what needs to be done. Then a notification appears. You check it “just for a second,” open another tab, reply to a message, and suddenly twenty minutes have disappeared.
An hour later, the page is still blank. You feel behind, frustrated, and convinced that you simply lack discipline. But focus is not a personality trait or a measure of intelligence. It is a skill shaped by your environment, energy, habits, and the way you approach difficult work.
For university students, poor concentration is rarely caused by one thing. It usually comes from a mix of digital distractions, procrastination, exhaustion, stress, and unclear planning. The good news is that each of these can be addressed with practical changes. You do not need to become a different person overnight. You need a system that makes focus easier than distraction.
Why Students Struggle With Focus
Digital distractions train your attention to scatter
Phones, social media, messaging apps, and endless browser tabs are designed to capture attention quickly. Every notification creates a small interruption, and every interruption makes it harder to return to deep work.
The problem is not only the time spent scrolling. It is the mental switching. When you move between a lecture reading, a group chat, a video, and an assignment, your brain repeatedly changes direction. That makes even short study sessions feel fragmented and unproductive.
A student may spend three hours at their desk but complete only twenty minutes of meaningful work because of constant digital distractions. Learning to manage technology is essential, but it is equally important to recognize when additional academic support can make a difference. For students struggling with demanding assignments, searching for ways “to pay someone to write my research paper online” may lead them to professional essay writing services that offer expert guidance, well-structured content, and help with challenging academic tasks. By providing tailored academic assistance, expert insights, and well-organized research materials, these services can help students strengthen their understanding, improve the quality of their assignments, and achieve better academic results.
Procrastination often comes from fear, not laziness
Many students procrastinate because a task feels too large, unclear, or emotionally uncomfortable. Writing a dissertation, preparing for a difficult exam, or starting a long reading assignment can trigger thoughts such as, “What if I do it badly?” or “Where do I even begin?”
Perfectionism makes this worse. If you believe every sentence, calculation, or revision session must be excellent from the start, beginning becomes intimidating. So you delay. Then the deadline gets closer, pressure increases, and the task feels even harder.
Procrastination is usually an attempt to avoid discomfort. The most effective response is to make the first step so small that discomfort cannot stop you. Instead of “write the essay,” begin with “open the document and write three rough bullet points.” Instead of “study biology,” begin with “review one topic for fifteen minutes.”
Fatigue makes concentration harder
Focus requires mental energy. When you are sleep-deprived, physically drained, or constantly moving between classes, work, and social commitments, your brain has less capacity available for sustained attention.
Lack of sleep can make simple tasks feel overwhelming. It becomes harder to remember information, follow an argument, solve problems, and resist distractions. In that state, checking your phone or postponing work can feel like relief, even when you know it will create more stress later.
Many students try to compensate with caffeine, late-night study sessions, or weekend sleep catch-up. These strategies may help briefly, but they do not replace consistent rest. A stable sleep routine gives your brain a better foundation for learning and concentration.
Anxiety turns studying into a threat
Stress and anxiety can make focus difficult even when you genuinely want to work. When your mind is occupied by deadlines, grades, finances, relationships, or fear of failure, part of your attention is always pulled away from the task in front of you.
This can create a cycle: you feel anxious about falling behind, so you avoid the work; avoiding the work creates more pressure; the pressure makes the next study session feel even more intimidating.
The answer is not to demand that you “stop worrying.” It is to reduce the size of the immediate task and give your mind a clear place to start. A manageable plan lowers the emotional weight of studying. It turns a vague source of stress into a sequence of actions you can complete.
Poor organisation creates unnecessary decisions
Sometimes the issue is not a lack of effort. It is a lack of clarity. You sit down to study but spend the first twenty minutes deciding what to read, which assignment to start, where your notes are, or whether you should answer messages first.
Every small decision uses mental energy. When you have no plan, your brain looks for the easiest option, which is often distraction. A cluttered desk, an overloaded calendar, and a vague to-do list can make even motivated students feel stuck.
Strong focus begins before you open a book. It starts with knowing what you will work on, why it matters, and what “done” will look like for that session.
How to Fix It
Use the Pomodoro Technique
The Pomodoro Technique is one of the simplest ways to rebuild focus. It works because it gives your brain a clear beginning, a defined endpoint, and regular recovery.
Here is how to use it:
- Choose one specific task, such as reading a chapter, drafting an essay section, or reviewing lecture notes.
- Set a timer for 25 minutes.
- Work only on that task until the timer ends.
- Take a five-minute break away from your screen.
- After four focused sessions, take a longer break of 15 to 30 minutes.
This method is useful because it makes starting less intimidating. You do not need to commit to five hours of studying. You only need to commit to 25 minutes.
Apply it differently depending on the task. When preparing for an exam, use one Pomodoro to review a single topic and another to test yourself with practice questions. When writing a coursework assignment, use one session to create an outline, another to draft a section, and another to edit. When reading, set a realistic page or chapter target for each session.
The key is to protect the 25 minutes. No messages, no social media, no switching to another assignment. One task, one timer, one clear outcome.
Create a digital detox routine
You do not need to disappear from social media to improve focus. You need to make distraction less automatic during study time.
Try these boundaries:
- Turn on “Do Not Disturb” or Focus mode before you begin.
- Put your phone in another room, a drawer, or a bag during study blocks.
- Turn off non-essential notifications, especially social media and group chats.
- Close unrelated browser tabs and use only the materials required for the task.
- Set specific times to check messages, such as after a study session or during a scheduled break.
- Keep a notepad nearby for sudden thoughts, so you can write them down instead of acting on them immediately.
The goal is to remove the decision from the moment. If your phone is within reach, checking it requires willpower. If it is in another room, choosing focus becomes the default.
Plan before you sit down
Focus improves dramatically when you know exactly what to do. Before each study session, take two minutes to define one to three priorities for the day.
A useful format is:
- One priority task that must be completed today.
- One secondary task that would move an assignment forward.
- One small task that builds momentum, such as reviewing notes or organising materials.
Break large projects into concrete actions. “Finish psychology assignment” is too broad. “Find three sources,” “write the introduction,” “create an essay plan,” and “edit the first draft” are actionable steps.
Schedule study blocks in advance rather than waiting for a free moment. Put them in your calendar like appointments. Start with the most important or most difficult task while your energy is highest. Completing it early reduces stress and makes the rest of the day feel more manageable.
Protect sleep like it is part of studying
Sleep is not lost time. It is when your brain consolidates learning, restores energy, and prepares you to concentrate the next day. When sleep suffers, focus, memory, mood, and motivation usually suffer too.
A few practical habits can help:
- Aim for a consistent sleep and wake time, even on weekends.
- Avoid using your phone in bed, especially in the final 30 to 60 minutes before sleep.
- Create a simple evening routine: dim the lights, prepare clothes or materials for tomorrow, and do something calming.
- Avoid treating weekends as a time to “catch up” on several days of lost sleep.
- If you study late, stop before you become so tired that the work becomes inefficient.
You do not need a perfect routine. You need a repeatable one. A consistent bedtime, a quieter evening environment, and fewer screens before sleep can make a noticeable difference in your ability to focus during the day.
Examples
Preparing for an exam
Suppose you have an exam in three days and several topics to cover. Instead of telling yourself to “study all day,” choose three priority topics. Use a 25-minute Pomodoro to review the first topic, then a second to answer practice questions. Take a five-minute break, then repeat.
Keep your phone outside the room and write down any unrelated thoughts for later. After four sessions, take a longer break. By the end of the day, you will have made measurable progress without relying on a marathon study session.
Writing a coursework assignment
A long assignment can feel impossible when you view it as one enormous task. Divide it into stages: understand the question, gather sources, create an outline, write a rough draft, and revise.
Start with a 25-minute session devoted only to creating an outline. Do not try to write perfectly. Your goal is momentum. In the next session, draft one section. In another, improve the argument or add supporting evidence. Small sessions turn a frightening project into a series of achievable steps.
Studying after a busy day
After lectures, work, commuting, and social commitments, evening study can feel impossible. Do not begin by asking yourself to complete everything. Choose one meaningful task, set a timer for 25 minutes, and remove your phone from reach.
Even one focused session can maintain momentum. If energy is low, make the task smaller: review notes for 15 minutes, summarise one concept, or prepare tomorrow’s priority list. Consistency matters more than intensity.
Focus Checklist for Students
Before your next study session, use this checklist:
- Choose one specific task, not a vague goal.
- Define what you will complete by the end of the session.
- Remove your phone from your immediate workspace.
- Turn on “Do Not Disturb” or Focus mode.
- Close unrelated tabs and apps.
- Prepare the materials you need before starting.
- Set a timer for a 25-minute Pomodoro.
- Begin with the most important or most difficult task.
- Take a proper break after each focused session.
- Review what you accomplished and plan the next step.
Final Thoughts
Struggling to focus does not mean you are lazy, unmotivated, or incapable of succeeding at university. It usually means your environment, energy, and systems are working against you. Digital distractions, procrastination, fatigue, anxiety, and poor planning can all pull attention away from the work that matters.
The solution is not more pressure. It is better structure. Use the Pomodoro Technique to make starting easier, create digital boundaries to protect your attention, plan one to three priorities each day, and treat sleep as part of your academic performance.
Choose one method and apply it within the next 24 hours. Put your phone in another room, set a 25-minute timer, and complete one focused study session. That single decision can interrupt the cycle of distraction and show you that focus is something you can build, one deliberate session at a time.
Success Advice
7 Success Lessons From the Rise of Women’s Football
For most of the last century, women’s football was treated as a sideshow. In England it was effectively banned for fifty years. Players trained after full-time jobs, paid their own travel costs and played in front of a few hundred people, if they were lucky.
Today, women’s matches sell out the biggest stadiums in the world. In 2022, 87,192 fans packed Wembley for the Women’s Euro final, a record for any European Championship game, men’s or women’s. A year later, nearly two million people attended the Women’s World Cup in Australia and New Zealand.
That turnaround did not happen by accident. It is one of the best comeback stories in modern sport, and it is full of lessons for anyone trying to build something from nothing, whether that is a business, a career or a personal goal. Here are seven of them.

Wembley Stadium before the Women’s Euro 2022 final, watched by a record 87,192 fans. Photo: Daniel from Glasgow, United Kingdom, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
1. Start Before Anyone Gives You Permission
On Boxing Day 1920, a women’s team called Dick, Kerr Ladies played at Goodison Park in Liverpool in front of around 53,000 people. Less than a year later, the Football Association banned women from playing on its members’ grounds. The ban stayed in place until 1971.
The women who kept playing during those decades did not wait for approval. They organised their own matches on public parks, raised their own money and kept the game alive for the next generation.
Most big goals start the same way. Nobody hands you a stadium, a budget or a green light. You start with what you have, where you are, and you build the proof that eventually makes people take you seriously.
2. Small Stages Build Big Careers
When Benfica launched its women’s team in 2018, it did not start at the top. The club entered Portugal’s second division and spent its first season playing on small grounds against part-time sides. Within three seasons, Benfica were national champions, and soon after they were playing in the Champions League.
That pattern repeats right across the women’s game. Look at the women’s league fixtures and scores in a second tier like Portugal’s II Divisão and you will find players who are working day jobs, studying and training in the evenings. Some of them will be international players within a few years.
The lesson is simple: the small stage is not a waste of time. It is where you sharpen your skills while the pressure is low, make your mistakes cheaply and build the habits that carry you when the spotlight finally arrives.
3. Consistency Beats Hype
Women’s football did not grow because of one viral moment. It grew because leagues kept playing, clubs kept investing and players kept turning up, week after week, long before the crowds and TV deals arrived.
The headline moments, such as the 91,553 fans who watched Barcelona play Real Madrid at Camp Nou in 2022, were built on years of unglamorous work that nobody filmed.
It is the same in any field. One great launch, one big client or one good month will not make you successful. Showing up consistently, even when nobody is watching, is what makes the big moments possible.
4. Turn Doubters Into Fuel
For years, women footballers were told the same things: nobody will watch, nobody will pay, nobody will sponsor it. Every packed stadium since then has been an answer to those doubters.
Criticism hurts, but it can also give you clarity. When someone says something cannot be done, it tells you exactly what you need to prove. The players who changed the women’s game did not argue with the critics. They simply kept performing until the argument was over.
If people doubt your idea, do not waste energy trying to convince them with words. Let your results do it.
5. Build a Team, Not Just a Talent
Football is a team sport, and the rise of the women’s game was a team effort too. Players, coaches, volunteers, club owners, journalists and fans all played a part. No single star could have done it alone.
Even the greatest individual players rely on the people around them. If you have ever read through some motivational Lionel Messi quotes, you will notice how often he puts the team ahead of his personal records.
Whatever you are building, surround yourself with people who share the mission and bring skills you do not have. Talent opens the door, but a strong team is what keeps you in the room.
6. Invest When Others Won’t
The clubs and organisations that backed women’s football early, when it looked like a risk, are the ones reaping the rewards now. Governing bodies have also shifted their thinking. FIFA’s women’s football programmes now fund development, leagues and coaching around the world, something that would have been hard to imagine a few decades ago.
Being early is uncomfortable. People question your judgement and the returns take time. But the biggest opportunities are usually found where others are not looking yet.
Whether it is a skill, a market or a relationship, be willing to invest before the crowd arrives. By the time something is obviously a good idea, the best opportunities have often gone.
7. Play for the Next Generation
Ask many of today’s top women players why they kept going in the hard years, and you will often hear the same answer: they wanted girls coming after them to have it easier.
That bigger purpose is powerful. It gets you through the early mornings, the rejections and the setbacks, because the goal is bigger than you.

Spain celebrate winning the 2023 Women’s World Cup in Sydney. Photo: Storm machine, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
When your motivation is only about yourself, it is easy to quit when things get tough. When you are doing it for your family, your community or the people who will follow you, quitting becomes much harder.
Final Thoughts
The rise of women’s football shows what is possible when people refuse to accept the limits other people set for them. A game that was once banned and ignored now fills the world’s biggest stadiums.
You do not need a stadium to apply these lessons. Start before you feel ready, respect the small stages, stay consistent, use doubt as fuel, build a strong team, invest early and keep a purpose that is bigger than you. Do that for long enough, and the crowds tend to show up.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why was women’s football banned in England?
In 1921, the Football Association banned women’s teams from playing on its members’ grounds, claiming the game was unsuitable for women. The real effect was to stop a sport that was drawing huge crowds. The ban was not lifted until 1971.
What is the biggest crowd for a women’s football match?
One of the best-known records is the 91,648 fans who watched Barcelona play Wolfsburg at Camp Nou in April 2022, a few weeks after 91,553 had watched Barcelona play Real Madrid at the same stadium.
What can entrepreneurs learn from women’s football?
Mainly that lasting success is built slowly. Consistent effort, a strong team, early investment and a clear purpose turned women’s football from an afterthought into a global sport, and the same principles apply to building a business.
Success Advice
How to Spot a Fake Business Guru Before You Pay Them
The fastest way to spot a fake business guru is to ask one question: what business have you built, besides selling information about business? If the only thing they’ve ever sold is the course on how to make money, you’re looking at a marketer, not an operator, and you should keep your wallet closed until they can point to something real.
That question isn’t mine. Gary Vaynerchuk asked it on my podcast in 2016. He’d spent only 11 hours in Sydney and was already in Hawaii when we connected. His book #AskGaryVee was out, and this time I didn’t just bring my own questions. I’d asked the Addicted2Success community what they wanted to know, and I started smashing through their list.
Halfway through, I asked him what question people never ask him but should. He didn’t give me a question. He gave me a rant about the people selling success advice who’ve never built anything. It’s the most useful part of the whole conversation, and it matters more now than it did then.
The one question every mentor should be able to answer
Here’s how Gary put it: “Why don’t you ask your mentor or your coach or your mastermind group what business they’ve ever built besides selling information to people? Shouldn’t that be a prerequisite?”
Read that twice. He isn’t saying information is bad or that coaching is a scam. He’s saying the person teaching you to build a business should have built one. That sounds obvious. Most people still skip it, because a confident voice and a nice-looking feed do a great job of answering the question before you ask it.
Gary didn’t stop there. He said the problem is that a lot of people listening don’t actually want to build a business either. They want to sell coaching too, and he called it what it is: “that Ponzi game of being somebody’s coach.” My read: coaches teaching coaches to coach, with nobody in the chain selling a product to a real customer.
Here’s my take on why the question works. Someone who’s built something can answer “what have you built?” in about five seconds, with names, numbers and the mistakes that cost them. Someone who hasn’t will usually change the subject to their students’ results.
What a real operator sounds like
Gary used himself as the example, and I think it’s fair. By his own account in 2016, he’d built two businesses, one doing 50 to 60 million and one doing 100 million, and neither of them sold masterminds or ebooks. His first business was a bricks-and-mortar liquor store and an e-commerce wine business. He said he was 34 years old before he started talking to the world.
“I’m not a podcaster or a pundit or a journalist or a coach,” he told me. He said his personality confuses people, and they don’t understand how much of an operator he is. He figured questions about leadership, organization or P&Ls, the real business stuff, just aren’t the sexy thing to ask him, because of the way he portrays himself on social.
To be fair to him, he didn’t pretend he isn’t inspirational. “I am inspirational, I’m motivating, I’m a good communicator,” he said. “I’m just not just that.” That’s the distinction. A real operator might also be a great communicator. A fake business guru is only the communicator.
| Fake business guru | Real operator |
|---|---|
| Their main product is teaching you how to make money | Can name the business they built and what it sells |
| Posts quotes to push you to a link in the bio and a big monthly fee | Gives away useful content and asks for a small sale rarely |
| Rents the lifestyle for the photo | Talks about the work, the numbers and the mistakes |
| Gives advice on everything | Stays in the lane they’ve actually lived |
| Sells speed and shortcuts | Tells you to be patient and grind it out |
| Gets defensive when you ask what they’ve built | Answers that question without blinking |
Red flags of a fake guru (and how to tell if a business coach is legit)
If you’re trying to work out whether a business coach or mentor is legit, these are the red flags I’d check, all pulled from what Gary said that day:
- The only business is the business of teaching business. Ask what they’ve built besides information. If the answer is their coaching program, that’s your answer.
- The lifestyle is the pitch. Gary went after the guys “taking these pictures with cash on their bed,” flying private jets and “renting a car for the day to take a picture and then returning it,” all to get kids to buy into their program. If the cars are doing the selling, ask who’s paying for them.
- The funnel is the whole model. He described it exactly: put out Instagram quotes “so that you then click my URL in my profile and then sign up and pay me $10,000 a month to tell you how to make money.” His own model, as he described it in 2016, was the opposite. Put out free content every day, then every three years ask people to buy an $18 book.
- They talk outside what they know. “You can’t be a 22-year-old life coach,” Gary said. “You haven’t lived life.” He said he’d come across very humble if you asked him about health care, oil prices or artificial intelligence, because he only talks about the things he’s best at.
- They sell shortcuts. Gary’s point about self-awareness was that when you know yourself and you know you’re good, “you don’t need to take shortcuts, you don’t need to rip people off.” People who promise you a shortcut are often telling you how they got where they are.
- They push urgency on young money. When I asked for his advice to millennials, he said one word first: patience. The program that needs you to decide tonight isn’t built for your timeline. It’s built for theirs.
None of these alone proves someone’s a fraud. Two or three together and I’d walk.
Speaking only about what you know
This part landed for me personally. I’d told Gary he inspired me to get up on stage without slideshows and PowerPoint, and just talk from a place of authenticity. His reply: “When you actually talk about [stuff] you know, you win, and when you use slides a lot of times you’re talking about [stuff] you don’t know.”
I told him I’d once asked Simon Sinek what the key to becoming a great speaker was. Simon said, “I cheat.” When I asked what he meant, he said he just speaks about what he knows. Gary said the two of them were homies and had talked about exactly that. He said it’s why he comes across cocky and egotistical. He only talks about the things he’s the best at, marketing and building businesses, and he stays in that place.
That’s a good test for anyone you’re about to pay. Watch what happens when they’re asked about something outside their lane. Real operators say “I don’t know” a lot. Fake gurus have an answer for everything, and it usually ends with an offer.
Why brand beats the hard sell
I asked Gary what he did differently with the #AskGaryVee launch. He said it proved his thesis that “branding and marketing is better than sales and transactions.” He’d done the #AskGaryVee show for 18 months, rebuilt his website, started a podcast and put out a mountain of content. By the time he got around to selling the book, it was sold. He said he sold three or four times as many books in the first week as he did with Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook.
Then he summed it up: “Nike doesn’t have to make the best sneaker. They’ve got Nike. If you and I start a sneaker company, we have to make the best sneaker.”
This is the flip side of the guru problem. Gary earned attention by being useful for free, then asked for a small sale. If you want to see how that plays out for a smaller business, this site has covered why it pays to give your knowledge away for free and let trust do the selling. The fake guru does it backwards. Thin free content, then the big ask.
If you’re building a personal brand, don’t become the guru
Most people reading this aren’t only buyers. You’re building something too, and the pull to look bigger than you are is real. I felt it myself. Around that time, I’d started stepping out from behind the Addicted2Success brand and shooting videos as me. I asked Gary what advice he’d give people getting in front of the camera.
“Don’t be embarrassed that you make 30k,” he said. “Don’t be embarrassed that you live in a [crappy] house. Don’t be embarrassed that you don’t have the fly clothes. Tell people the truth.” His reasoning was simple. Watching somebody come up from the bottom and rise is way cooler than watching somebody lie like everybody else.
He also gave me his top three personal brand strategies of all time:
- Stop BS-ing. Talk about what you know. If you’re 22, talk about what 22-year-olds are thinking about on the internet.
- Work is the only variable. “You can’t take talent drugs, but you can work more.”
- Be ready to adjust on the fly. The market moves on a whim, and when somebody smart tells you where it’s going, act on it.
That third one stung, and I told him so. Two and a half years before this conversation, he’d told me directly to get on Snapchat. I’d only jumped on it in the month or two before we spoke, and I was kicking myself. He wasn’t shy about it. He said he has an amazing track record, and that he’s right a lot because he puts in the work and has intuitive talent.
One more thing he said is worth stealing. He told me he’d listened to zero podcasts. Zip. Zilch. What he consumed instead was what his audience said about the content he put out, so he could adjust to them. A fake guru studies other gurus. A real operator studies their customers.
How you make your money matters more than how much
The line from this conversation I’d put on a wall is Gary’s answer to young entrepreneurs: “How you make your money is more important than how much you make.”
He said too many people want the money and the cars right now, and that hurry turns them into what he called a “scum bucket.” They end up disgusted with how they made their money, nobody takes them seriously, and they leave a lot of money on the table in their 30s and 40s. Then, as a 40-year-old at the time: “Your 30s and 40s feel like your 20s.” If that one hits you, it’s worth reading up on how to be patient in business while you build the real thing.
He also made a prediction about the cash-on-the-bed crowd. They’re going to get exposed, he said, and their families are going to be embarrassed about who they were. “That’s the ultimate loss.” I don’t need to add anything to that.
Gary’s last 30 seconds
I always end the show by asking for a last 30-second speech to the world. Gary gave me one only he could give. He told people to go back and watch everything he’d put out, because he’d shown them how to do it, and then he landed on the point that ties this whole thing together: “Understand there’s no shortcuts. You got to grind it.”
So before you pay anyone to show you the way, ask them the question. What have you built? If they can answer it, listen closely. If they can’t, keep your money and go build something yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you spot a fake business guru?
Ask what business they’ve built besides selling information about business. Gary Vaynerchuk told me in 2016 that this should be a prerequisite. If their only product is teaching you how to make money, they’re a marketer, not an operator.
What are the red flags of a fake business coach?
Watch for rented-lifestyle marketing, a funnel from free quotes to a big monthly fee, advice on everything outside their experience, promised shortcuts and pressure to decide fast. Any one alone isn’t proof. Two or three together is a reason to walk away.
How can you tell if a business mentor is legit?
A legit mentor can name the business they built, what it sells and the mistakes that cost them. They stay in their lane, admit what they don’t know and don’t need to rush you. Ask before you pay, not after.
What did Gary Vaynerchuk say about fake gurus?
On my podcast in 2016, Gary said people should ask their mentor, coach or mastermind group what business they’ve ever built besides selling information. He called coaches teaching people to become coaches “that Ponzi game” and predicted the cash-on-the-bed crowd would get exposed.
Is it wrong to sell information products?
No. Gary’s issue wasn’t information, it was who’s selling it. He gave away free content daily and, as he put it in 2016, asked people to buy an $18 book every three years. The problem is someone charging thousands to teach a business they’ve never built.
Success Advice
Why You’re Addicted to Information Instead of Execution
Being addicted to information instead of execution means you keep consuming books, podcasts, courses and advice, but you rarely implement any of it, so learning starts to feel like progress when nothing has actually changed. The fix is not more input. It is becoming addicted to execution: decide exactly what you want, act on one thing you already know, and repeat it until it becomes a habit.
In 2015, I sat down with Peter Voogd for the Addicted to Success podcast. His book 6 Months to Six Figures had just come out, and I introduced him the way he was being introduced at the time: someone who had gone from dead broke to six figures in multiple industries, had trained over 4,500 entrepreneurs and had built an $8 million sales organization by the age of 27. I told him I was ready to pick his brain.
A few minutes in, I made a point about the young entrepreneurs in our audience: a lot of young entrepreneurs think just reading the books is what is going to work. It is not. You have to apply it too.
Peter did not soften it. Reading books and absorbing videos and articles is easy, he said, so everyone does it. “People are addicted to information but not implementation,” he told me, “which is why they get stressed out and overwhelmed, when they need to start being addicted to execution.” Then he added that only a small percentage of entrepreneurs ever get there.
The original show notes cover Peter’s six-figure outline. This piece is about the line underneath all of it.
What information addiction actually looks like
Peter was not describing other people. He was describing himself. When he first got into personal development, he told me he bought every course and studied every book on success he could find. The result was not momentum. He got overwhelmed and could not take any action. In his words, he was paralyzed.
Before that, he had tried the opposite mistake. He was working 60 hours a week without the results he wanted, so he did what most of us are taught to do and worked harder. Seventy hours. Then 80. Same results. His conclusion was that the answer was not even working smarter. It was working right.
One person piles up information. Another piles up hours. Both feel busy, and both avoid the harder question: what exactly am I trying to achieve, and what is the next action that moves it?
Peter’s way out was to get clear on the exact goal he wanted to hit in six months, so he knew what to study. He called it mastery versus overload.
| Addicted to information | Addicted to execution |
|---|---|
| Buys the next course before finishing the last one | Picks one lesson and applies it this week |
| Studies everything that sounds useful | Studies what serves a dated six-month goal |
| Keeps goals in their head | Writes goals, reasons and values on one page |
| Waits to feel ready | Decides first and acts because they said they would |
| Spends time with people who talk about it | Spends time with people already getting the result |
| Chases the next hit of inspiration | Turns inspiration into a daily habit |
Execution starts with a definite decision
Peter told me the first thing most people never do is make a real decision. They say they do not want to be broke. They say they want to succeed. But it is not the definite, no matter what, burn the bridges decision.
He made his. He decided he was never going to be broke again, and he put a date in his calendar six months from that day. He said he did not know he was going to make six figures. He just knew that date was real.
From there, the plan was simple enough to actually use:
- Define what matters most to you over the next six months, whether that is freedom, flexibility, income, security, health or adventure.
- Choose your top three goals for the next 90 days.
- Break those into a top three for each month.
- Turn each month into weekly action steps that line up with the 90-day and six-month targets.
- Put your goals, your reasons, your top five and your values on a one-page plan, and look at it every day.
Writing things down is the step I came back to later in our conversation. At the time, I was coaching hundreds of people each month, and most of them had not written anything down. Not the vision, not the goals, not what was painful or pleasurable to them. It is simple, and still only a small percentage do it and then make it happen.
Writing it down is the first act of execution: an idea you consumed becomes a decision you own.
Excuses or income: you cannot keep both
Peter’s answer to the people who do not write it down was blunt. If you do not want it badly enough, then you have to be okay with being broke and eating at Wendy’s. What does not work is saying you want one thing, acting another way, and then being mad that you do not have success.
He described it as a teeter-totter. As your excuses go up, the bank account goes down. You have to choose, he said, because you cannot have both. And most people choose excuses because they feel better and they are easier.
Decide first, then let the feeling catch up
The quieter version of information addiction is waiting to feel like it. Peter put it plainly: most people base things off their feelings. If they do not feel like writing their book, they do not write it. If they do not feel like reaching out to someone, they do not reach out. He called it the feelings train.
Peter backed this up in 2015 with statistics about disengaged workers, graduates in debt and retirement security. I am not repeating those numbers as current facts; they were his figures from that conversation. The teaching does not need them.
His alternative was to flip it around. Make the decision first. Regardless of how you feel, take the action because you said you would. If you do not feel like working out, who cares? You will feel amazing afterwards. Then he gave me this line: behind every feeling is nothing, and behind every principle and value is a promise.
Peter tied this to an identity where whatever you say, your actions follow. If you want a practical system for the hard days, here is how to build discipline when motivation runs out without relying on a good mood.
Your make-it-or-break-it list sets your speed of implementation
Peter’s next point hit closest to home for me. He said to write down who you spend the most time with and how they affect your actions, your thinking and your standards. Then make what he called a make-it-or-break-it list: your top five growth friends, who challenge you and hold you accountable, and your top five maintenance friends, who you have known forever and who mostly let you off the hook.
It echoes the make or break list this site wrote about years ago, but Peter’s version is about execution. People who already have the result move faster because they learn from other people’s mistakes. He called it the speed of implementation: copy genius, get the best information, then test it. “You want experiments, not perfection,” he said.
We had just been talking about Grant Cardone, and Peter repeated something Cardone had told his academy members: if you still have the friends you had in high school, you are not growing. Peter’s emphasis was on what happens next. Around people playing the game at a higher level, it feels like a weight off your shoulders, because they share the vision.
Then he flipped the question on me, and I told him the truth. When I started educating myself, I noticed a massive disconnect in my social groups. My friends started asking, “Why are you sharing quotes?” Who was I to share advice with others? Some people simply could not see the vision. That is when I learned you have to align yourself with people who see the bigger picture too.
I asked Peter what young people should do with a bit of money. If he had $100 at 18, he said, he would spend all of it taking people out to lunch who had the results he wanted. Nothing else. That is execution applied to information: go to the source, then act on what you hear.
What execution looked like in Peter’s own career
Peter’s mentor stories were about doing, not collecting. As he told it, Isaac Tolen taught him to take very few opinions and not to fear people. Another mentor, who Peter said had seven figures at Peter’s age, told him the savings he was proud of at 22 were not much money. Peter said that raised his standards.
He also described a 40 to 45 minute call with Gary Vaynerchuk, who was at an airport. Peter said he was writing everything down and still not fully getting it, and Gary would not get off the phone until he did. Peter took away legacy over currency, reverse engineering from the ideal outcome, and giving before asking. He credited MJ DeMarco’s The Millionaire Fastlane with teaching him to scale rather than trade time for money.
By his 2015 account, his first business was on eBay at 15. He later built a sales team in the Seattle area marketing Cutco and reached a great six-figure income, while working 80 hours a week. So he studied productivity, put systems in place, doubled his results and scaled back to 20 or 25 hours a week. Then he left that income to build his own brand.
His daily version of execution was what he called the prize-fighter routine. After his morning routine, he would work 90 minutes straight with no distractions and no phone on the highest-value activity, then take a 20 to 30 minute break, walk around the block or jump in the pool, and come back for another 90 minutes. One clear block on one important thing beats a day of reading about productivity.
Why inspiration fades and habits stay
Near the end, I admitted my own worry. People love feeling inspired. They soak the content up. I just worry that they do not take the action.
Peter’s answer was that habits trump inspiration. He said that after seminars and podcasts, even after listening to our own conversation, only about 5% actually use what they learned. That was his remark in 2015, not a study I have verified, but anyone who has bought a course and never opened module two knows the feeling. Inspiration feels good in the moment and does not last past the activity producing it. The biggest inspiration of all, he said, is seeing progress and results, and that comes from new habits and execution.
I told him consistency is unsexy. I would say a majority of my success has come from the consistent daily actions I have taken, which is why I told him I did not even ask guests for the secret to success. Peter agreed: people want the little ninja trick, the 4am wake-up and the one program that leaves a million dollars at the front door. The reality is doing the work every day.
The last 30 seconds: decide what matters, then do it
I closed by asking Peter for his last 30-second speech to the world. He said most things you are held up on or stressed out about do not matter. Define what is most important to you, because when it is all said and done, you will not wish you had more transactions. You will wish you had more impact and better relationships. Figure out what you would be fascinated by and engaged with for the next 30 years, find a way to get paid for it, and do it to the best of your ability.
Earlier, he had told listeners to take action right after the interview: write down your goals, your mission and the action steps to get there. So close this tab and do one of them. Information got you here. Execution moves you from here.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean to be addicted to information instead of execution?
It means consuming books, podcasts and courses feels productive, so you keep doing it instead of acting. In my 2015 conversation, Peter Voogd said people get addicted to information but not implementation, and the answer is becoming addicted to execution.
How do you stop consuming information and start executing?
Pick one dated goal and study only what serves it. Peter Voogd set a six-month date, chose top goals for 90 days, broke them into weekly steps and reviewed a one-page plan daily, acting on what he already knew.
What is a make-it-or-break-it list?
Peter Voogd described listing your top five growth friends, who challenge you and hold you accountable, and your top five maintenance friends, who let you off the hook. The list shows who is speeding up or slowing down your implementation.
What is the prize-fighter routine Peter Voogd described?
After his morning routine, Peter said he works 90 minutes straight on his highest-value activity with no phone or distractions. Then he takes a 20 to 30 minute break, such as a walk, and repeats another focused 90-minute block.
Why do habits matter more than inspiration for execution?
Inspiration feels good in the moment but fades once the podcast or seminar ends. Peter Voogd argued that seeing progress is the strongest inspiration, and progress comes from new habits. Consistent daily action outlasts the motivation.
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