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Get Unstuck Now: 3 Reasons You May Be Feeling Stuck in Life and How to Fix Them

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Feeling stuck can be so frustrating. It sucks not knowing why you feel that way, and even worse, having no clue how to break out of it. The good news is, feeling stuck can actually be a good thing – it means you’re trying to grow. If you’ve never felt stuck, it’s probably because you’re someone who’s not striving to be, do, and have more in life.

But if you’re here reading this, chances are, that’s not you. I tell you that to let you know that where you are is a good thing, so honor it.

Here are 3 reasons why you may be feeling stuck in life, and how to fix them:

1. You haven’t gotten clear 

Clarity provides certainty. Think about driving on a foggy day – what may have been a routine drive on a normal, clear day, now has you white knuckling it to your destination. Why is that? Because your clarity was taken away, which took away your certainty and belief.

If the weather got too bad, you may even have to pull over. You’d be stuck, waiting for things to clear. So often in life, that’s exactly where we find ourselves – stuck in the fog, not knowing how to proceed. 

That’s why one of the biggest contributors to feeling stuck in life is a lack of clarity. When you don’t take time to gain clarity, you lose your certainty. You’re just like that car waiting on the side of the road for things to clear up.

The problem is, clarity isn’t going to come to you. You have to put in the work to find it. Will you have all the answers to figure out your whole life? No! But you don’t need them. You just need enough to get yourself started. The rest will be revealed as you go.

If you want to get unstuck and on the path to living a life you truly desire, there are 3 questions you’ll need to answer:

  1. Who are you/who do you want to be?
  2. What do you want?
  3. How are you going to get it?

Actually, in order to get unstuck, you really only need to answer those first two questions. The “how” will be revealed once you get going. It’s like driving a car – you don’t learn how to drive it until you actually take off and start driving.

So, focus on answering those first two questions. Start with who you are and who you want to be. In life, the way we create that which we desire is by showing up as the version of ourselves who can create and accomplish those things. So, step one is, get crystal clear on the version of you that you want to show up as every single day, and start showing up that way.

Next, get clear on what you actually want in life. Not what your small-minded friends and family tell you that you can have. Focus on what you want. Wealth, relationships, family, or freedom, what do you want your life to look like.

Once you know the answers to those two questions, you now have a filter through which you can base all your decisions. Then, it’s time to start taking action.

“It’s a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.” – Steve Maraboli

2. Your circle of influence is keeping you stuck

We all know the famous Jim Rohn saying, “You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Well, the reason that quote has been popular for as long as it has is because it’s true.

The people we hang around determine how we show up in life and the results we create. So, if you’re feeling stuck right now, take a look at your circle of influence. Are you surrounding yourself with people who are content and playing small in life or people who are really going for it? My guess would be the content type. 

The reality is, you’ll never outgrow your environment. So if you’re feeling stuck and not living the life you want, it’s time to change it up.

Look, it’s easy to say, just kick the people who are holding you back completely out of your life. But, a lot of the time, those people are our closest friends and family. And while cutting them out completely may be the play for some, it’s not for most.

So, what you can do is create space between those who are holding your back and yourself. Limit your exposure to them in the areas that you feel they are preventing you from moving forward. Once you’re able to do that, then be very intentional about creating a new circle of influence with people who can and will help you get to where you want to go.

Go to networking events, attend seminars, and/or hire a coach or mentor. Those are the sorts of things that people who are trying to level up do. Again, just like with clarity, creating a circle of influence that helps you grow and achieve what you want isn’t going to find you. You have to put in the work.

3. You’re doing too much thinking, and not enough acting

The mind can be a powerful tool when used correctly. It truly can unlock your full potential. But, it can also be the source of your struggle and keep you stuck if used incorrectly.

The reason a lot of people feel stuck in life is because they can’t get out of their own head long enough to take action. They’re stuck at the starting line trying to analyze every detail of the race before they take off.

But, results come from action, not thinking. Remember the analogy about driving the car? The only way you’re going to learn to drive is by getting behind the wheel and doing it, not by sitting there thinking about it.

“The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” – Tony Robbins

How to get out of your head and start taking action

This one here can be tough, because it takes self-awareness. You’ve got to catch yourself in the act of overthinking, and force yourself to take action in that moment. That doesn’t mean being reckless or irresponsible. If you’re resonating with this one, you’ve done more than enough thinking. Now, it’s time to get going.

Another great way to combat this is getting an accountability partner or coach. Someone who can call you out and spur you into action when you’re stuck spinning your wheels. If you’ve got the self-awareness and strength to make yourself take action in those situations, great! If not, an accountability partner or coach will be a great resource for you.

How do you get unstuck in life & begin moving forward? Share your advice with our readers below!

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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