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4 Necessary Steps To Take And Break Negative Patterns

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How do you adopt negative or positive patterns? The first environment you experience is the one you were born to. You hear what others are saying, how they act, you experience their personality.

The way you think and act as you grow is shaped by your surroundings, no question about it. What many of us tend to do is carry habits from our childhood, many times not good habits. Of course, it depends on how you grew up as well.

Other “source” of harmful habits can come from our way of living. We get too comfortable, and before we know it, our bathroom scale was showing 50 pounds more than six months ago. You and I slip from time to time. Everyone does, we are humans. Having bad habits is natural, but it isn’t for life. You can eliminate them and grow at the same time.

Here are four practical steps you need to take to free yourself from negative patterns and make necessary changes:

1. Identify them

The first step you need to take is to recognize your negative habits. Look at your life. What is it you don’t like about yourself? Maybe you have taken an action and afterwards felt sorry. Maybe you don’t like your body. Are you constantly yelling at your kids and after feel guilty about it?

You have to find out exactly what it is you want to change and be clear with yourself. Do you drink too much and the day after you feel depressed and sad? Sit down and write it on a piece of paper. It will make you committed to the change you are about to take.

Be honest with yourself. No one is standing next to you and judging you. As I mentioned above, we all have bad habits. The point is to find it, see it, admit it to yourself.

“Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.” – Carlos Santana

2. Look at every unfavorable impact it has on you

So, now you know what drags you down. Now you see why you feel the way that you do. You are doing something in your life that doesn’t benefit you; it does the opposite. Face it. What has changed in your life since you adopted this pattern?  How does it make you feel? What are you missing on? How does it impact your days?

Put yourself in a state of total pain. Stop apologizing for your behavior and quit blaming others. This step is the one which will make you feel bad about yourself even more, but it is necessary to make it clear and see reality. You can only change if you are willing to stand face to face to the problem, identify it and make the firm decision to change it.

 

3. Imagine your life without it

You have passed the hard times. You took two of the most difficult steps, and you faced reality. I feel proud of you because I know it requires a lot of effort. Now use your entire imagination and visualize the positive outcome you’ll have once you make the necessary changes. How does it feel?

Do you feel the positive emotions going through your body? What you see now is the new

YOU. It is someone you will become if you are willing to take the challenge and change those negative patterns you have adopted. You are who you created.

Don’t ever put a label on yourself. You are not fat or moody or mean. It is only the way you act, not who you are.

 

4. Get to work

So you thought about everything, made yourself feel good and bad as well. Now it’s time to do something. The action is the step where many people fail. They desire to change and they talk about change but they never actually take a serious step towards it. Action means to implement your knowledge into practice.

Let me give you an example. In the past, I had temper issues. It affected my life and mostly, relationships with people around me. It became so painful for me that I knew I had to do something. The first step I took was to count to 10 every time I get angry. Sounds very simple but these baby steps taught me that everything is possible, and I can take control over my life and my attitude.

It is great that you realize what you do wrong but without appropriate action, you will see little results. Don’t procrastinate. Do you want to lose weight? Don’t wait until you buy a gym membership or you have day off from work. Put your sneakers on, go out and start running. Get the momentum.

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” – Rumi

Breaking negative patterns and being able to change means you are taking control of your life. Until you do that, life will control you whether you like it or not. Remember that only once you eliminate bad habits you have, you can live happy and joyful life. Everything is available to you; you just have to take the first step.

How are you going to break free from your negative patterns? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Silvia Turonova is a mindset coach who teaches women how to develop more self-trust and inner confidence while learning how to bet on themselves. She hosts a podcast Courage Within You and is passionate about teaching others how to coach themselves. Get her free self-coaching worksheet here.

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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator

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Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.
 

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.

 

2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.

 

3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.

 

4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.

 

5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.

 

6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.

 

7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.

 

8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.

 

9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.

 

10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.

 

11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.

 

12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.

 

13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.

 

14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.

 

15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

 

16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.

 

17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.

 

18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.

 

19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.

 

20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.

 

By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at AweBliss.com so you can master your life with more success.

 
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Success Advice

Dead Men Tell No Tales: How to Navigate a Mutiny as a Leader in 10 Steps

You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way

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A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy

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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds

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