Most human groups suffer from constant personality clashes between its members. Confronting individual interests and domination attempts against each other are commonplace. Of course, this kind of conflicts make it impossible to achieve any kind of harmony, hindering team work, causing stress among people and a myriad of other problems, including illnesses.
It is thus fundamental for the well-being of everyone to learn how to listen, accept our differences and build together a more peaceful way of living.
Following are five recommendations to help you transcend the ego.
1. Don’t be offended
If you are looking for reasons to be offended, you’ll find them every few minutes. This mindset weakens you, forcing you to stay defensive or belligerent, wasting way too much energy and mental focus in unnecessary confrontations.
Being offended creates destructive energy, leading to a never ending series of attacks and counterattacks. Of course, you should still be offended by the many horrific things that happen in this World, but by not letting your ego constantly complain about small things, you will learn to truly focus on those things that are truly important and affect all of us dramatically as a group and as individuals -poverty, wars, the environment, etc.
Stay calm and live in peace.
2. Get rid of the need to win and to be right
To win is a foolproof method to avoid contact with your true self. The need to win is a never ending rat race that will never allow you to step aside and reflect on your actions. You cannot win all the time. Let go the need for recognition. Forget the need to win and to be right, and your life will improve overnight.
You don’t need to impose yourself to feel right. In fact, living in a state of permanent competition against others is very detrimental for yourself. I have seen many relationships get screwed by the need of certain people to be always right. Don’t let that happen, it will ruin your life and that of those around you.
“We must go beyond the constant clamor of ego, beyond the tools of logic and reason, to the still, calm place within us: the realm of the soul.” – Deepak Chopra
3. Overcome the need to feel superior
Improving has nothing to do with being better than others. Improving is all about being better than you were last day. Focus on your inner growth, being constantly aware that no one is better than anyone else on this planet.
The ego tends to judge everyone and everything based on the appearance, achievements, possessions, value and other metrics that make sense only from the ego point of view. It loves to divide people between winners and losers. These kind of feelings lead to resentment, confrontation and hostility against each other. These feelings will pull you apart from others, and apart from the true enjoyment of life.
4. Overcome the need for more
The ego is never satiated. It doesn’t matter how much you have, your ego will keep on asking for more. It is never enough, you will be trapped.
Ironically, when you overcome the ego, it feels as if you have more than you want. You will realizehow little you really need, and will be at peace. You will be pleased with yourself by simply living.
5. Overcome the need for accomplishments
It may be a difficult to achieve this if you identify yourself with all the things you have done. You are not your achievements. In fact, you’re not your body. You are merely an observer. Look around and appreciate the capabilities that you have at your disposal to achieve things since you were born, but don’t let your ego take credit for it all.
After all, you are part of something much bigger than yourself, have always been and will always be. The reputation that you identify yourself with is located in the minds of others. It’s an illusion, and it shouldn’t control you. If you talk to thirty different people, all thirty will have different opinions.
Stop and meditate. Reconnect with the World. Follow what you truly believe is your goal in this World, beyond what others think you should do at all. If you worry about how others perceive your actions, you will end up losing touch with your true self.
One last line of advice I would like to give you all is to keep on going! Your ego is something that has been formed from your conditioning and habits and you WILL be able to let go of your ego with practice of the above.