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3 Keys to Staying Motivated When Your Friends and Family Aren’t



how to stay motivated

Maybe you’ve heard the saying by Jim Rohn that goes: “You are the sum of your five closest friends.” Your close friends influence you and ultimately help shape who you are and who you become.

So, what do you do if you make big goals and your friends just don’t have that same motivation? In my experience, if your goals are larger than that of those in your community – success will be that much harder to attain. So, naturally, the question arises, “What should I do if my friends don’t have the kind of goals I do?”

One option is to dump those friends. Which isn’t always a good choice. They are your friends after all, and having good friends is invaluable.

Here are 3 options to ensure that the ‘sum of your success’ isn’t so deeply affected by the lack of motivation of your close friends:

1. Make New Friends

In my experience and that of just about every successful person I’ve met, the key to success is surrounding yourself with successful people. We are like the people we spend time around. We learn through association, rubbing elbows with, and being in the vicinity of others who are driven.

When you make new friends, you set yourself up to change and transform. Start spending time with a person who loves running – pretty soon you’re likely to start running. Hang out with a group of entrepreneurs, and soon enough you’re going to be filled with ideas to make money and will set off to make your first million.

As one spiritual teacher put it to me, ‘if you are kindling and you surround yourself with others who are on fire’ – surely you will light up too.

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams

2. Move Away For A Little While

Not quite like dumping your friends – but just close to help create that distance you need. When you move, you change the environment, the influence and the world you lived in disappears meaning you get to create a new one. A short move away will help you stop waiting for your friends to change so you can make your shifts. Move away so you can start to make your transformation today, no more waiting for them.

If you don’t want to move entirely – try taking a little Airbnb time away. Get a place far enough out that it’s not easy for you to return to the old stomping grounds or habits. For example, I tried staying on a small island several hours away from all my friends. During that time my focus shifted. My desire got a reset, my circle was gone, and I was able to create a new vision without the hindrances of old influences.

The changes that come with a little temporary move will surprise you. Give it a try and give yourself a reset to reinvigorate you for increased success.

3. Introduce Old Friends To Your New Ones

Our friends influence us immensely. They create a certain environment and standard of living. When you make new friends, make new goals, and return to the old places you’re used to – it can be easy to slide back into old habits.

One way to change your old friends is introducing them to new places and people. If it’s true that environment is stronger than will, then introduce your friends to each other. Change the environment by adding new people and circumstances to it. Change one part of the dynamic and you could very well influence your old friends to the new goals and vision you have.

In my life, one thing I’ve done is invite my old friends to the gym. I invite them to entrepreneur meetups. I bring them into the world that pulls them in and me out of the old habits of bars, movie theaters, and the comforts we’ve enjoyed for decades.

Give this a shot because it could work out better than moving away or dumping friends. Whatever you do though, realize by making any of these changes, you’ll be sure to increase the speed at which you arrive at your goals.

“One friend can change your whole life.” – Wilson Kanadi

How do you stay motivated when the people around you are not lifting you up? Let us know by commenting below!

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I used to be homeless and now run a six figure business with my partner and travel the world. My journey to help those in need has taken me from non-profit director to supporting holistic entrepreneurs have a life of freedom. I run the Thriving Launch Podcast, which features the most influential leaders in the areas of love, spirituality, business, and success. It's my mission to help heart-centered entrepreneurs get their message heard. Learn more on at my website (

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Somaya

    Aug 29, 2017 at 6:12 am

    I agree 100% with this advises, for two years at college I was the one who chose her friends in the projects and assignments. And I can see myself not going anywhere, because they only want to pass in the courses without being more creative. I tried to choose different people in the new projects or at least bringing a new one with different and have smart and creative background in the old projects to join our group. And it was like magic because all the group tried to keep up with her especially me.

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Working alone at home might sound like a nightmare to some, but as a fully signed up introvert, working alone at home is an absolute dream. No energy-draining small talk, no noisy distractions, just peace and quiet to complete deep and focused work. Well not quite. Working alone at home has more challenges than you might expect. Boredom, lack of focus and lack of motivation to name a few.

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Here are some of the tools I’ve used to stay motivated and on-task.

These first few tips focus on using different tweaks in your personal work schedule to provide some variety and maintain your focus.

1. Include short breaks

My eye doctor once told me that for every 20 minutes of staring at a computer screen, you should look away and focus on something across the room for 20 seconds. This gives your eyes a chance to reset. Do something similar with the rest of your body; don’t just look across the room, walk, jog, or run across the room. Give your body a break, and try to reset your thoughts. If you don’t have the discipline to take regular breaks, use an app to remind you.

2. Block out an afternoon for social activities and networking

Set aside one afternoon a week for your social life. Friday afternoon works best for me. If you feel guilty about not working, think of it as a chance to network. Either way, be sure to spend this section of time with other people. Socialise and network.

3. View your personal schedule as your work schedule

A 9-to-5 job requires getting up every morning, preparing for the day, leaving the house, and commuting to your workplace. In other words, it requires going to work. You want to recreate the same rhythm at home. You may not actually need to leave your house in order to work, but try to stick with the schedule. Filling the old job timeslot with your new work helps to keep you motivated – you can’t clock out early!

These next few tips are little things you can do to trick yourself into staying focused!

1. Music

This tip may sound cliché, but try listening to an upbeat song loudly whenever you feel unmotivated. It’s a simple trick, but a surprisingly effective one!

2. Have somewhere else to work for a change of scenery

When procrastination sets in, sometimes a quick change of scenery is all you need. If you work at home, going to your favourite café can be a huge help. Other freelancers I know have even gone so far as to hire office space outside the home, and rotate between the two to help stay on-task.

3. Love what you do

This is arguably the most critical point on the whole list. If you don’t love what you do, it will be hard to keep yourself motivated – particularly long-term. Sure, you may be able to push on through sheer force of will for a while, but sooner or later you’ll lose motivation entirely. Do something you genuinely enjoy, and you’ll find it much easier to stick with it for the long haul.

These last few tips are Industry-related!

1. Make sure you have fun projects

Not all of your work projects will be fun, but fight to make at least a couple of them fun. These might even be personal side projects, not particularly related to your main job. Or they might be in the same general field, but not your specific focus.

2. Attend industry events a couple of times a year

Nearly every imaginable industry has an organising body of some kind. Find the local branch, and use it to keep tabs on industry-related events. Attend some seminars, network, and maybe even glean some new tips and tricks from industry insiders.

3. Schedule at least one call a week to learn something within your industry

View this as an opportunity for personal development. At least once a week, try to learn something new about your industry. For me, this might mean calling a new tool provider to demonstrate their gadgets. Whatever your industry, try to expand your horizons a little bit every week. You’ll learn new methods and make new connections at the same time.

These tips worked for me, hopefully, some of them will help you out as well. Above all, strive to enjoy what you do, stick to a “work schedule,” and look for opportunities for constant self-improvement. With those ideas in mind, you’ll find staying motivated much easier to do alone or in a group!

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