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3 Keys to Staying Motivated When Your Friends and Family Aren’t



how to stay motivated

Maybe you’ve heard the saying by Jim Rohn that goes: “You are the sum of your five closest friends.” Your close friends influence you and ultimately help shape who you are and who you become.

So, what do you do if you make big goals and your friends just don’t have that same motivation? In my experience, if your goals are larger than that of those in your community – success will be that much harder to attain. So, naturally, the question arises, “What should I do if my friends don’t have the kind of goals I do?”

One option is to dump those friends. Which isn’t always a good choice. They are your friends after all, and having good friends is invaluable.

Here are 3 options to ensure that the ‘sum of your success’ isn’t so deeply affected by the lack of motivation of your close friends:

1. Make New Friends

In my experience and that of just about every successful person I’ve met, the key to success is surrounding yourself with successful people. We are like the people we spend time around. We learn through association, rubbing elbows with, and being in the vicinity of others who are driven.

When you make new friends, you set yourself up to change and transform. Start spending time with a person who loves running – pretty soon you’re likely to start running. Hang out with a group of entrepreneurs, and soon enough you’re going to be filled with ideas to make money and will set off to make your first million.

As one spiritual teacher put it to me, ‘if you are kindling and you surround yourself with others who are on fire’ – surely you will light up too.

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams

2. Move Away For A Little While

Not quite like dumping your friends – but just close to help create that distance you need. When you move, you change the environment, the influence and the world you lived in disappears meaning you get to create a new one. A short move away will help you stop waiting for your friends to change so you can make your shifts. Move away so you can start to make your transformation today, no more waiting for them.

If you don’t want to move entirely – try taking a little Airbnb time away. Get a place far enough out that it’s not easy for you to return to the old stomping grounds or habits. For example, I tried staying on a small island several hours away from all my friends. During that time my focus shifted. My desire got a reset, my circle was gone, and I was able to create a new vision without the hindrances of old influences.

The changes that come with a little temporary move will surprise you. Give it a try and give yourself a reset to reinvigorate you for increased success.

3. Introduce Old Friends To Your New Ones

Our friends influence us immensely. They create a certain environment and standard of living. When you make new friends, make new goals, and return to the old places you’re used to – it can be easy to slide back into old habits.

One way to change your old friends is introducing them to new places and people. If it’s true that environment is stronger than will, then introduce your friends to each other. Change the environment by adding new people and circumstances to it. Change one part of the dynamic and you could very well influence your old friends to the new goals and vision you have.

In my life, one thing I’ve done is invite my old friends to the gym. I invite them to entrepreneur meetups. I bring them into the world that pulls them in and me out of the old habits of bars, movie theaters, and the comforts we’ve enjoyed for decades.

Give this a shot because it could work out better than moving away or dumping friends. Whatever you do though, realize by making any of these changes, you’ll be sure to increase the speed at which you arrive at your goals.

“One friend can change your whole life.” – Wilson Kanadi

How do you stay motivated when the people around you are not lifting you up? Let us know by commenting below!

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I used to be homeless and now run a six figure business with my partner and travel the world. My journey to help those in need has taken me from non-profit director to supporting holistic entrepreneurs have a life of freedom. I run the Thriving Launch Podcast, which features the most influential leaders in the areas of love, spirituality, business, and success. It's my mission to help heart-centered entrepreneurs get their message heard. Learn more on at my website (

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Somaya

    Aug 29, 2017 at 6:12 am

    I agree 100% with this advises, for two years at college I was the one who chose her friends in the projects and assignments. And I can see myself not going anywhere, because they only want to pass in the courses without being more creative. I tried to choose different people in the new projects or at least bringing a new one with different and have smart and creative background in the old projects to join our group. And it was like magic because all the group tried to keep up with her especially me.

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Figure out a way to do whatever that is, or a modified version of it if it is something that you aren’t able to do at the present time. Spending time doing what you love will get your mind off of anything that is wrong and allow you to find inspiration.

“If something is important enough, even if the odds are stacked against you, you should still do it.” – Elon Musk

3. Don’t overcomplicate it

Keep it simple. When we’re stuck in a rut, we’ll give ourselves every excuse to not do something. Say you’ve gained some weight; you might tell yourself you need to find the perfect trainer and wait until you have time to cook your meals from scratch each night before you do anything else. Stop trying to overcomplicate it and keep it simple by finding one thing you can do right now, however small that may be. You don’t have to wait until the timing is perfect and the stars align for you to start moving in the direction you want to go.  

4. Get up and get moving

This is probably the last thing you want to do right now, but once you are up and moving, your blood will start flowing. The hardest part is getting started. Day one, get up and do anything to get moving. This is the hardest day if you haven’t in a while because getting up is really the hardest part. Day two, do a little more. Once you start, you’ll build momentum and get back in the habit.

5. Reset your focus

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One step at a time. Step one, take your attention away from what you can’t control and what you can’t do. Step two, ask yourself questions like “What can I do?” and see what comes to mind. Follow through with the answers you find.

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“Work like there is someone working twenty four hours a day to take it away from you.” – Mark Cuban

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