Success Advice
16 Things Your Successful Friends Have Given Up
Sit down and think, for a moment, about what your successful friends do compared to your loser friends that complain. If you don’t have any successful friends, then you need these tips I’m about to share more than anyone.
Your successful friends think differently, speak differently, and work 10 times harder than your loser friends. Success is easier than you think it is, but you’ve got to model and learn from the right people. Your unsuccessful loser friends are the ones that are feeding your mind lies.
They’re telling you that you can’t do it, or it’s too hard, or there’s no meaning in it all anyway. What total crap! Listen to your successful friends. Divorce your unsuccessful friends once and for all. You’re destined for big things, young Skywalker.
Here are 16 things your successful friends have given up:
1. They’ve given up believing they can’t change the world
Your successful friends believe that it’s not where you are born, how much education you have, or how much money you start out with; success is about believing you can change the world. All of us have the power to do something incredible.
We don’t need anyone to tell us we are worthy, or deserve to be phenomenal. Your successful friends let the belief in themselves guide their vision for a better world. Your successful friends believe they can be part of the positive change that helps humanity rise to a higher level.
2. They’ve given up on luck
“Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity” – Oprah Winfrey
Luck is a myth straight out. Your successful friends stopped believing in it a long time ago and have replaced luck with “hustle.”
Get out there and make stuff happen. Stop waiting for the right time because it’s never the right time to do anything. You’re in charge of your success, and you’ve got to grab it by the curly ones. The lottery is not going to make you have good luck and be rich; your mind is.
3. They’ve given up on numbing pain
Your successful friends are not trying to escape life by numbing the pain; they’re trying to discover the pain and then push through it like a bulldozer. Rather than sit at the pub and drink beer, indulge on carbs/salt and mingle with the other losers, they’re out there having meetings and making the stars align towards their vision.
They’re frustrated not at the world, but at how much harder they’ve got to work to make their dream come true. Instead of forgetting their failures by numbing the pain, they’re trying to etch their failures into their brain so they can ensure they learn from them, rather than be pushed into darkness by them.
4. They’ve given up on negative people
More than anything, your successful friends have left their loser friends behind. They’re no longer going to sit down and listen to people who have no idea about anything. Your successful friends avoid losers and treat them like they’re infected with malaria.
The only time your successful friends are willing to hang out with a loser is when that person has committed to turning their life around, and they’re asking for help. Your successful friends believe in helping others and sharing their advice.
Don’t let negative people tell you how the world is supposed to be. Find out for your yourself. Grab a piece of the map that guides your life from each of your successful friends. Combine all of their knowledge, and then stop consuming content like this. Then go out and execute on it.
5. They’ve given up on time wasting
Procrastinating is something your successful friends are really bad at. They have faith in what they can achieve and just get started on the goal. They treat life like every moment is precious, and they don’t want to waste a second of it.
When your successful friends are old and have gray hair one day, they want to be proud of how they spent their time. Ideally, they want to have changed the world in some significant way, and for their legacy to last generations to come.
When they enter a room, they want to be given a standing ovation for the way they have lived their life. They are humbled by the gift of wisdom that they first saw, and then embraced with every cell in their body.
6. They’ve given up only consuming
Rather than consume YouTube videos all day long, your successful friends have given up consuming for creating. They spend as much time as possible doing the “doing” instead of sitting there watching others have the success they’ve always dreamt of.
As a rule of thumb, spend more than 50% of your time creating and leave the rest of the time for consuming.
7. They’ve given up selfishness
Your successful friends put their vision, family and goals before everything else. They also are insanely focused on giving and serving others. Put simply: life is not just all about them.
8. They’ve given up wasting their money
Money is one of the key differences. Successful people pay themselves first and invest a large amount of their income. They also never forget to make giving money a habit, even when they don’t have much money to give. How much you give will determine how rich you become.
9. They’ve given up on not believing in people
You can’t build Rome if you don’t have people to help with the workload. Your successful friends believe in other people, and pick their “A Team” wisely. They see raw talent, and love to polish certain people into beautifully shining diamonds. Your successful friends want to create more leaders rather than be the sole leader.
Your successful friends can see through all the imperfections someone might have, and notice the light that is desperately trying to shine through. They love to help people transform, and they believe anyone can be successful.
10. They’ve given up on negative thoughts
“World War 3 is not being fought on the battlefield like prior wars; it’s being fought in our own minds” – Tim Denning
Your successful friends have oodles of discipline when it comes to their minds. It’s the center of their universe, and they know that all success starts in this one place. They train their mind every single day to avoid the default response of the brain that tells us negative things.
Rather than embrace their negative thoughts, your successful friends do everything they can to let these thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky. They’re an observer of their thoughts, and they choose to focus on the rare positive thoughts that come into their consciousness.
11. They’ve given up on BS
Life is full of so much meaningless nonsense. Your successful friends have made a conscious choice to give up on bullsh*t. Things that don’t serve them, like the news, are eliminated from their schedule. Meetings for the sake of meetings are frowned upon.
People who only serve their own interest and have disgustingly ugly egos are forgotten about, like last year’s bottom-of-the-ladder football team. Being successful is centered around not letting BS get in your way. You’ve got to sort through the dirt to find the golden nugget tasks that make you fulfilled.
Your BS tolerance has to be at an all-time low for you to be successful. Don’t put up with your own BS and other people’s BS anymore. Make a change for the better and do what successful people do: make a habit of permanently escaping it for the dream island called “meaning.” Now that’s an island we should all want to live on for the rest of our human existence on this beautiful planet we take for granted.
12. They’ve given up on being stuck in failure
“Failure is a cheap lesson in what’s not going to make you successful” – Tim Denning
Your successful friends don’t let failure stop them; they use it to become more. Failure allows your successful friends to learn things they didn’t know. Failure equals education rather than a negative experience that stops them in their tracks.
13. They’ve given up on being single
Now to love: your successful friends have figured out that being single is a myth. Their partner is the one who supports them through all of the challenging times, and reinforces their successful nature. Your successful friends know that they need a good man or woman to come home to.
Your successful friends know that love is what makes all of the madness of life worthwhile. Rather than avoiding love or postponing it, they make it their life mission to stop at nothing until they find it while they work away at their vision.
Being single is cool for about thirty seconds until you’re an old wrinkly person sitting in your chair and watching all the happy couples dance at the charity ball. You’ll have that sinking feeling that somehow you missed out. Somehow you got so busy with achieving that you forgot what we were put on this planet to do: Love.
14. They’ve given up on wearing a mask
Unlike the corporate politicians, your successful friends have taken the mask away. They’re happy to be vulnerable, and they share even the most personal of stories. Being fake is the ultimate crime to them, and letting who they are shine through is the only way they will live their life.
15. They’ve given up on people’s opinions of them
Your successful friends couldn’t give a rats a$$ what anyone thinks about them. They’re not trying to impress anyone other than themselves. That’s why they’re not afraid to have a go and fail.
16. They’ve given up on giving up
You’ve come a long way so far. The final thing your successful friends have given up is giving up. They’ve figured out that you can’t work three months on something and then say, “I’m not getting enough traction and quit.”
Your successful friends are not quitters. They push through all of the struggle and pain to earn the title of “successful.” It doesn’t come easy and what they do, more than any of the tips I’ve mentioned above, is NEVER GIVE UP!
Quitting is not an option, and they let their passion push through all the barriers. They’re insanely obsessed not to lose, and nothing is going to stop them. Could you adopt this mindset and then go on to join your successful friends on cloud nine where they all hang out after a day of winning at life? I believe you can. Do you?
What are you going to decide today to give up on so you can be successful?
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
Success Advice
How Teams Create Their Own Legacy Systems and How to Leave Them Behind
Legacy systems are not only old software left by someone else. Many teams create their own legacy after a fast launch. The product still works, but every change takes longer. People work hard, and delivery still slows down.This article explains how that happens, how to spot it, and how to plan a rewrite without stopping the business.
What a Legacy System Looks Like in Practice
A legacy system is software that costs more to change than it should. Age is not the main test. The real test is whether the team can still deliver at a normal pace.
Common signs are practical. The tech stack is hard for the current team to work with. Unused parts of the product stay in place because nobody is sure what will break. Tests exist, but they do not catch real problems. Only a few people understand how the system works. Small features take several sprints, and the team spends more time fighting the system than improving the product.
When effort goes up and output goes down, the system has become legacy for your team.
How a Fast Start Turns Into Legacy
Many teams do not inherit legacy. They create it while trying to move fast.
A common path looks like this. You need users quickly, so you build on an existing solution instead of starting from scratch. In the first months, that works. You ship. You get feedback. The decision looks smart.
Later, the same decision slows you down. The base system was not built for your roadmap, your team’s skills, or your quality needs. What helped you launch now blocks simple changes.Teams often stay with that base too long because the early result was real. Rewriting feels like throwing away progress. So they keep the old foundation even after it stops helping.
Why Teams Keep Patching
Most teams do not decide to live with legacy. They decide to make one more fix.
A patch looks cheaper and safer than a rewrite. It also avoids a hard discussion about stopping work on the current system. For a while, that can be the right call.
After a point, patches add more complexity than they remove. Each fix creates new constraints. The team spends its best time keeping the old system stable instead of building useful product work.
One clear signal is when a basic feature can no longer reach production in a normal cycle. There may be no major outage. There is just steady delay. At that point, the choice is usually simple: keep paying the cost of the current system, or test a rewrite under clear rules. If delivery has already stalled, some teams also need help to stabilize a software project before the next big decision.
Treat a Rewrite as an Experiment
A full rewrite can fail if it has no limits. Some rewrites never reach users and waste months. That risk is real. Staying in legacy forever has a cost too.
A better approach is to treat the rewrite as an experiment. Set a clear scope for the first version. Review progress every week with demos people can see. Track how much work actually gets finished, not only how busy the team looks. Keep the old system running until the new one is ready. Do not freeze the business while the team rebuilds in private.
This makes the decision easier to manage. Stakeholders can judge real progress. If pace and quality improve, continue. If not, stop before the rewrite becomes its own long project with no end date.
Describe the Product You Want Before You Rebuild
Many rewrite projects fail because the team copies the old system as it is.
Legacy code shows how the product works today. It does not always show why a feature exists, or which parts are leftovers from old decisions. If you rebuild only from the old code, you may also rebuild old bugs and unused paths.
A clearer method is to describe the product you want first. Who uses it. What should happen. What you will leave out. Write that down so business and engineering share the same scope. Then decide how to build it.
This matters even more when teams can generate code quickly. Fast output without a clear product description can create a new legacy system sooner. Speed helps only when the goal is clear and shared.
Keep the Old System Running Until the New One Is Ready
Leaving a legacy system does not mean turning it off on day one. Customers still need a working product.Keep the old system live while the new one is built and checked. Release small pieces that prove the new system works. Review quality and pace often. Switch when the new product can support real use, not when the plan looks good on paper.
The goal is a clean handoff, not a dramatic shutdown.
Conclusion
Legacy is not only software you inherit. It is often software your own fast start created.If the team is busy and delivery keeps slowing down, do not assume another patch will solve it. Look at the cost of staying. If a rewrite makes sense, run it as a short, visible experiment. Describe the product you want. Keep the old system online until the new one can take over.
The useful skill is noticing when the system that once helped you launch now blocks progress, and changing course before that cost gets worse.
Success Advice
Why Efficiency is Overrated (And How to Actually Get Things Done)
If you look at someone like Tim Ferriss, you might assume he is a hyper-productive, super-optimized efficiency machine. After all, he authored The 4-Hour Workweek and built a massive empire around deconstructing world-class performance.
But according to Ferriss, if you were to act as a fly on the wall in his house, he would often look like he is “doing a whole lot of nothing” or flailing like a “drowning monkey.”
The truth is, Ferriss isn’t obsessed with efficiency. He is obsessed with effectiveness. And there is a massive difference between the two.
In a recent deep-dive interview, Ferriss broke down how he structures his life, why he relies on “mini-retirements” to prevent burnout, and the exact protocols he uses to pull himself out of a low mood.
Efficiency vs. Effectiveness: The Ultimate Trap
Most people are trapped in the default mode of the universe: productivity theater. They do things that pass as productive to themselves and others (“Look at how busy I am!”), but they aren’t actually moving the needle.
- Effectiveness is what you do.
- Efficiency is how you do it.
As Ferriss explains, doing something well does not make it important. If you choose the wrong task and execute it flawlessly, you have wasted your time. It is far better to choose the absolute highest-leverage task (the “lead domino” that knocks over everything else) and execute it at a B-minus level than to efficiently accomplish tasks that don’t matter.
“If you’re running a marathon, you’re not going to take a taxi from point A to point B. Sure, that’ll be efficient, but that sort of defeats the purpose of the whole exercise,” Ferriss says.
How to Choose the Right Projects (The “Successful Failure” Method)
If what you work on is more important than how you work on it, how do you choose what to tackle? Ferriss uses a very specific filter for evaluating 3-to-6-month projects: “Can I succeed even if I fail?”
When evaluating opportunities, he chooses the projects that will allow him to develop rare skills or deepen valuable relationships, regardless of the external outcome.
When he launched his podcast in 2014, people told him it was too late. But he didn’t care about immediate external success; he used the podcast as a tool to reduce his verbal ticks, improve his interviewing skills for future books, and build deeper relationships with friends. Even if the podcast had “failed” commercially, he would have succeeded in leveling up his personal operating system.
The Architecture of a High-Leverage Day
Ferriss doesn’t rigidly structure every minute of his day. Instead, he focuses on a weekly architecture. By setting rigid days for specific tasks (e.g., all team calls on Tuesdays, all recordings on Mondays and Fridays), he creates a scaffolding that absorbs the chaos of daily life.
When it comes to his daily routine, he follows two main rules:
- Do Not Rush the First Hour: If he feels rushed in the morning, he will feel rushed all day.
- State, Story, Strategy: To change his mindset, he starts with his physical state. He uses a 3-to-5-minute cold plunge immediately upon waking to release norepinephrine, followed by a hot tub for hyper-dilation. This state change creates a more enabling internal “story,” which allows him to formulate a better “strategy” for the day.
“If you can single-task for two to three hours a day… you’re going to be ahead of 90% of the population,” Ferriss advises.
Managing Low Mood and Hypervigilance
Even top performers battle anxiety, rumination, and low mood. Ferriss refers to his mind as a “border collie”—if you leave it inside too long, it will chew the couch.
To prevent depressive spirals, Ferriss relies on a few non-negotiable protocols:
- Prophylactic Scheduling: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Ferriss schedules regular group dinners with friends and multiple week-long group trips a year to ensure he always has something to look forward to.
- Identity Diversification: If your podcast, startup, or job is the sole barometer of your self-worth, you are incredibly vulnerable. Ferriss diversifies his identity through rock climbing, archery, writing, and investing. If his business has a terrible week but he hits a PR in the gym, his overall week is still a win.
- Protecting Sleep: Ferriss notes that his low moods are almost always preceded by compromised sleep and excessive caffeine intake.
Beware the “High Achiever Complex”
When operating in a permissionless environment (where you can work whenever and wherever you want), the biggest risk is that you will end up working all the time.
Ferriss combats this by taking mini-retirements—scheduling 3 to 4 weeks where he is entirely offline.
“If you do that, you have to set up systems and policies that will persist after you return,” Ferriss explains. If your business requires your constant input, it is broken. Stepping away forces you to build systems that scale, ultimately saving you from your own desire to constantly be in control.
In the end, you are going to die with items left on your to-do list. Stop trying to efficiently clear the deck, and start focusing on the few critical actions that actually make you feel alive.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Tim Ferriss 11 years ago:
Success Advice
How to Achieve Massive Success Without Crushing Your Soul
Most highly ambitious people suffer from a dangerous illusion: the belief that if they can just achieve one more milestone—a funding round, a promotion, an exit—they will finally feel like they are enough.
Entrepreneurs and leaders will sacrifice their sleep, relationships, and sanity to reach that distant horizon. But when the big payday or the massive accolade finally arrives, a terrifying reality sets in: nothing changes. The external world shifted, but the internal emptiness remained. Trying to find internal validation through external achievement is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst; it seems like it will work, but it only leaves you thirstier.
High achievers are always playing two games in parallel:
- The External Game: Your career, your income, your accolades, and your status.
- The Internal Game: Your relationship with yourself, your peace, and your self-worth.
You can have white-hot ambition, make incredible money, and build a meaningful legacy without burning out. But to win without crushing your soul, you must master metacognition—the ability to reflect on and control your own thinking.
Here are three profound internal shifts you must make to beat high achiever burnout and build a life you actually enjoy.
1. Fire Your Internal Coach
Most ambitious people are driven by a ruthless inner monologue. This internal “coach” constantly whispers that your value is strictly tied to your performance. If you fail, you are worthless.
Many high achievers justify this abusive inner voice. They believe it gives them their edge and keeps them motivated. But if you step back and truly observe that voice, you will notice something profound: your inner critic rarely offers actionable solutions or brilliant ideas. It only offers fear.
That toxic internal coach is simply your own fear incarnated—fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of not being enough. Worse, this doesn’t just hurt you. When you operate from a place of self-loathing and fear, you project that negativity onto your team, your business partners, and your family.
You cannot cultivate healthy relationships with others if your relationship with yourself is toxic. To reach the next level of leadership, you must fire that coach. Give yourself permission to stop beating yourself up, and consciously shift from being your own harshest critic to being your strongest ally.
2. Pull the Nails Out of Your Head
Imagine a person complaining about a blinding, chronic headache while completely ignoring the obvious iron nail sticking out of their forehead.
In business and in life, we all accumulate metaphorical nails. Your nail is the obvious problem you are actively avoiding. It might be a co-founder relationship that has turned toxic. It might be a failing product line you are too stubborn to cut. It might be a destructive personal habit, or a deep-seated trauma you have refused to address.
We leave these nails in our heads for one simple reason: pulling them out hurts.
To reach the next peak of success, you have to realize that growth is not a straight upward line. To get off a stagnant plateau, you must first traverse a valley. If you fire a toxic client, you will face temporary financial stress. If you quit a bad habit, you will face temporary discomfort.
Something has to get worse before it gets better. But everything you truly want is on the other side of that temporary valley. Facing your fears and pulling out the nails is a superpower. Endure the short-term pain, and watch how fast you elevate once you are finally free of the friction.
3. Trust Your Second Voice
The voice of fear and criticism is not the only voice in your head. You have a second voice—your intuition.
Unlike your inner critic, your intuition does not speak through panic or fear; it speaks through energy. Energy is the language of your true ambition.
When you think about a project you feel obligated to do out of societal pressure, your energy lags. You feel a heavy sense of dread. But when you think about an idea you are secretly terrified of but deeply passionate about, your energy spikes. You feel electricity.
In almost every major business or life decision, you already know the answer. Your intuition has already told you what to do; your hesitation is simply a negotiation with your fear.
How do you conquer that fear? Write it down. Fears are incredibly dangerous when they lurk as nebulous clouds in your subconscious. When you put them on paper, they lose their paralyzing power. They cease to be monsters and simply become standard problems to be solved. And as an entrepreneur, you are an expert at solving problems.
Stop Waiting for the Destination
It is easy to look at the grind of building a business and think, “I’ll be happy when I finally sell this company,” or “I’ll relax when we hit $10 million in ARR.”
But the point of the journey is not the destination. The point of the flight is not simply to land; it is to experience the magic of being in the air.
Stop postponing your happiness for a future that is not guaranteed. Fire your toxic internal coach, do the hard work of pulling out your nails, and follow the energy of your intuition. You have already arrived. You are living in the “good old days” right now—make sure you are actually present enough to enjoy them.
Here is a great speech by Graham Weaver about How to Win Without Crushing Your Soul
Success Advice
Why Your Morning Routine Needs a Document System, Not Just a To-Do List
Most morning routines are built around a mindset. A journal entry, a cold shower, ten minutes of stretching, or a fixed order for coffee and email, each one designed to start the day with focus. What almost never makes that list is the paperwork already sitting in your inbox from yesterday: the contract still needing a signature, the invoice a client asked you to resend, the intake form HR needs before nine o’clock.
A checklist can remind you these tasks exist, but it cannot tell you where the file lives, what format it needs to be in, or how many versions sit on your desktop already. That gap is why a document system matters more than one more app for tracking tasks.
The Piece Most Routines Skip
A to-do list can capture a single line such as send the signed lease, but the real work behind that line is gathering three or four separate files into one place first. A simple habit handles this well: before opening email, pull yesterday’s scans, forwarded attachments, and signed pages together into one working file. Open a PDF combiner to merge those pieces into a single document, and the visible task, actually sending the file, only takes as long as it should.
This is not just about signatures or contracts. Recurring items such as monthly reports, vendor invoices, and reference documents pile up the same way, and a five-minute pass each morning keeps them from becoming a bigger cleanup later in the week.
This is not a small pocket of wasted time either. The most recent Bureau of Labor Statistics time use data groups tasks like filling out paperwork together with other household management activities such as cooking and yard work, and finds that adults spend close to two hours a day on that broader category. A five-minute document habit each morning is a modest trade against that total, and it moves the drag to the start of the day instead of letting it bleed into everything after.
A Three-Layer System That Fits in Fifteen Minutes
A working system for morning paperwork does not need folders inside folders. Three layers cover almost everything:
- Needs action today: Anything someone is waiting on, like a contract to sign or a form due before noon, gets handled first.
- Reference only: Files you might need to check but do not have to touch, such as a signed agreement from last month, stay in a folder you can search instead of one you have to scroll through.
- Archive: Anything finished and no longer active moves out of daily view completely, so it stops competing for attention with today’s work.
These three buckets take less time to sort into than most people spend deciding what to have for breakfast.
Three Small Habits That Make It Stick
None of this needs new software training or a rebuilt inbox. A few small habits carry most of the weight.
- Keep one working file: Combine incoming pages into a single document each morning instead of juggling several attachments across separate emails.
- Check who needs access, not just who has the file: Confirm the person waiting on a document (a client, a coworker, a new hire) can open it under their own account, since being able to share a PDF on any device matters more than which laptop or phone you used to finish it.
- Close the loop by noon: Move anything finished into reference or archive so tomorrow’s list starts smaller instead of longer.
Each habit takes under a minute on its own, and together they keep paperwork from stacking up into a Friday-afternoon problem.
Different Roles, Same Morning Problem
The specifics change by job, but the underlying gap stays the same across roles.
Freelancers often start the day with three or four client threads open at once, each with its own estimate, contract, or invoice version, and a quick merge each morning keeps those from scattering across a downloads folder.
HR staff run into a version of the same problem multiplied across every new hire moving through onboarding at the same time, since offer letters, tax forms, and identification copies all need to land in one file before anything gets filed.
Designers hit it from another angle: client feedback often arrives as a photo of a printed mockup or a screenshot of a marked-up page, and turning those images into one proper document is the real first step before revisions can begin.
None of this calls for a full overhaul of how you work. It just means treating documents as part of the routine instead of an afterthought that shows up once the coffee is gone. Fifteen minutes spent sorting real files into a real structure each morning saves more time by lunch than another motivational routine ever will, and it is the difference between reacting to paperwork all day and starting ahead of it for once.
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