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Why Living Life In The Fast Lane Will See You Spin Out Of Control

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Living In The Fast Lane Audi

To live life in the fast lane is a common way for humans to exist. People that live life in the fast lane live a lie every day and become trapped. I was one of these trapped souls for many years until the car that was my life, spun out of control and hit a light pole – literally.

When you live life in the fast lane, you only exist to stimulate your senses with excitement and short bursts of pleasure. You become reactive to everything and only focus on yourself. This selfish way of living eventually starts to transcend you and you can begin to resent everyone who lives in the opposite way to you.

In the fast lane, all the things that don’t matter start to matter to you. All the shallow activities that one can participate in become the centre of your own universe. Even if you don’t live your entire life in the fast lane, there is probably a part of you that does.

The five triggers that showed me I was living in the fast lane, and that you should avoid, are:

 

1. Owning a fast car

When I was living this selfish way of life, I went and bought myself a fast BMW. I thought that somehow my life was incomplete and that a fast car would change this. The first few weeks of driving the car were amazing.

I sped around corners, had all the windows down, played loud music and drove like a moron. Soon, the thrill I got from the car wore off and I was already thinking about an even faster car – a Porsche.

Living in the fast lane made me believe that what others thought of me mattered. Some of the coolest people I have met drive the most ordinary cars. Your car doesn’t define you or make you better than everyone else.

An excellent example of this is Tim Ferriss. He drives a ten-year-old Volkswagen Golf even though he could probably afford a Ferrari. He is one of the most well-respected people globally yet the car he drives has made no difference to his success or the way he is perceived.

In fact, I believe that because he doesn’t live life in the fast lane, this is one of the reasons why he has had such a broad appeal on social media.

You define you, not the possessions you buy.

 

2. Addiction to spending

A clear way to know you are living life in the fast lane is by your spending habits. When I was living life in the fast lane, I would always spend any money I got on a new toy and never pay myself first. It was only until a friend told me to read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” that I began putting money into savings or investments first, before spending a single dollar on anything else.

Most people’s spending habits are pretty wild and they are based on what the marketing or people they hang out with tell them to buy. You don’t need a new outfit for every special occasion. One of the richest men in the world Mark Zuckerberg has a very plain closet and that never held him back.

Focus the money you have on following your dream and improving yourself through books, seminars, travelling, taking people out for lunch, healthy food, and purchases that encourage exercise or movement. Lose the mindset of scarcity and avoid stocking up on household items – even if they are cheap.

Your tastes will change over time and so it’s never worth pre-purchasing too much of the same item. Try and go an entire weekend without spending any money. Notice how good it feels and how you don’t have to be addicted to your wallet (including your digital wallet PayPal).

 

3. The need for flashy clothes

It’s obvious you are living life in the fast lane if you spend more than a few hours a month buying flashy clothes. Those who live in the fast lane are constantly changing their wardrobe to meet someone else’s requirements.

In order to hang out with the wrong people, in the wrong places like nightclubs, I found myself always buying clothes that were very expensive and unnecessary. Add alcohol to the mix, and these new flashing clothes were often ruined after one night anyway.

I’m not saying dress like a bum, but what I am saying is don’t waste your life buying flashy clothes because of what other people think or because you are trying to portray some false image that is not you.

Forget the wannabe players and be you.

 

4. Too much alcohol

When you wake up every day or even every weekend smelling like booze, urine and vomit, you know you are living in the fast lane. Look at what alcohol makes you do and how it makes you behave. Is that behaviour you? No, it’s not, it’s the booze talking.

In my lowest moments of living in the fast lane, I would drink stupid amounts of alcohol even when I was at home. If I went out with friends, I would then triple my consumption to keep up with everyone else and be the drunkest.

A Near Miss In LifeSince when does the amount of alcohol you drink ever determine your success? It doesn’t, it makes you a total deadbeat loser of the highest calibre. Occasionally (thank god it wasn’t all the time), while under the influence of booze, I would drive my fast car home and think I was a cool cat.

This was all fun and games until one afternoon while suffering from a massive hangover; I literally spun my car out of control while trying to go fast round a corner. My car spun in circles and then eventually hit a light pole. That’s what I get for being a loser and living in the fast lane. Nice work Tim!

 

5. Constant nightclub appearances

The final trait of someone living in the fast lane is the regular appearance at nightclubs. This is a category I topped for a long time. Usually, it would involve multiple nightclubs in the same night because you had to be seen in all the cool places right? Wrong.

I always wondered why I managed to find so many trashy girlfriends and why all the good girls were almost never in these places. I still go now and then, but I just ensure it’s not for twelve hours and it’s because I want too, not because I am trying to be someone I’m not.

The fast lane can be a dangerous one if you spend too much time in nightclubs. While it starts out with alcohol, it can quickly turn into cigarettes, marijuana, and then eventually much harder drugs. In my life, I was very lucky that I never tried any drugs and never seemed to have an interest in them.

In western society drugs is a big problem although it’s not publicised as much as it should be. Nightclubs have become like candy shops where you can literally buy almost any drug you want without knowing anyone in the drug dealing business.

I’ve seen some horrific things happen to people that got addicted to drugs and it’s the one part of living in the fast lane that will not only see you spin out of control, but it will probably see you waste away your life and fail in every sense of the word.

 

***Cool equals different (i.e. you)***

The reason I stopped living in the fast lane is that I realised through hours of personal development that being cool equals being different. Being different means being uniquely you. Without sounding lie a wanker, I now (for the first time) see myself as cool because I am being me.

Every day people come up to me and want to chat or hang out because I am living in an extremely different way to the majority. I am not afraid to say what I think or to do what I love. I express myself in whatever way I can and live with passion and energy.

See, it turns out that when I was living in the fast lane, it didn’t feel right. I was stressed anxious and depressed all at the same time. I may have had all the money in the world but life really sucked. Just because you can buy anything you want, doesn’t mean that you will live with any sort of passion.

When you start to live with passion and exist for a purpose, living in the fast lane feels like a dumb way to live. It feels like you are trying to escape life rather than embrace life. If you’re stuck in the fast lane, it’s possible to get back in control again but it starts with one idea. It starts with one decision. Maybe this article will be the catalyst for the new you – I hope so.

How have you escaped the fast lane? What’s holding you back? Share your thoughts in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Naftali Chirchir

    Sep 5, 2016 at 7:28 am

    Comment:
    Thanks for the post, very enlightening!

  2. Nicole

    Jun 6, 2016 at 4:05 am

    Thank you !!!! For sharing this and being so transparent. I really needed this I’ve been holding back trying to keep up with the Joneses going broke trying to impress people who could give 2 shits about me. Then turn around and betray me.

  3. Chris

    May 26, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Everything on this App/website I find enlightening…. But this article really struck a chord. All these things have been applying to me as of lately. I really want a new car, I’m actually considering buying a 3 wheel bike. I do feel I deserve to treat myself for how hard I work. Yet it’s somewhat premature. I always feel the need to buy a new outfit for every club appearance. Whether I get a deal on it or not it is still a bad habit.

    • Tim Denning

      May 27, 2016 at 9:34 pm

      Chris I am glad you like the site and it seems many can relate to some of the points mentioned. The good thing is that at least you have acknowledged some of these points in your own life and now your conscious of them. Thanks for reading.

  4. Toño

    May 23, 2016 at 7:52 am

    You have touched pretty serious theme here, my friend. I was (and still is) living in the fast lane for the last years. This article is a good reminder I am still there and do things which only helps that.

    I reflect with addiction to spending, as I use shopping as my therapy from depression now and then and feel quite good for a brief moment which never last longer than a few days. It’s like a magic pill for a quick fix, which can only reveal your state of mind. Those money I spend could have been easily being used far better, like books, educational programs, gym session or as a ource of food for poor and homeless. Evere time I do that I only practice that habbit and now I understand I have to stop that.

    Most of the time I spend money on clothes. It may not be the most expensive ones but still I have an obsession with it. I have tons of t-shirts and I always dsire more. As of now I go to the gym and body slowly but rightly becomes stronger and bigger, half of my shirts & t-shirts doesn’t fit me. Some of my clothes I have never even wear, not a once. And this is pretty pathetic. I already been considering minimalistic way of living and I have to definitely try it. I agree with you, you don’t have to look rugged, like some supertrump, however you can wear the most simple outfit and be the most awesome, cool person around. Clothes never define you and even if you depend on it and always worry what others think of you, you are most definitely wrong.

    Another thing is alcohol. I never had any addiction to it, never was a heavy drinker. However I started to use it because of the people around me. They used to drink and I thought I have too, even though I never enjoyed the taste of alcohol, never. I never liked it and was just like a mindless zombie, thinkking it would be cool to be on the same level wih my ‘friends’. Five or six years ago I made a decision to quit it completely and can say I still feel pretty amazing about it. I remember it was time of my transformation, I started to realize many important things and was reading ‘The Alchemist’, book that helped me a lot and returned me to my reading habbits once again. Another thing to share, there is a guy I work with (more to say he is my boss) and his body cannot stand even a tiny drop of lightest drink and he immediatelly begin feeling very sick which is the prove that any alcohol is nothing more but a poison for our soul, mind and body.

    Thank you for this amazing article, Tim, I enjoyed it and now can see more clearly on what I gotta work to get out of that fast lane living. Oh, and another book to read, I am curious about ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ now and going to check it out. Much love Tim, stay well and healthy!

    • Tim Denning

      May 23, 2016 at 9:01 am

      Toño I would never have picked you as a guy that is still living in the fast lane. We need to get you out of this lifestyle. Love to see that you are going to the gym and having success at it. Also, congrats on giving up alcohol I am now 13 months sober so I am a long way behind you mate.

      I strongly suggest you check out Rich Dad Poor Dad it will change the way you think about your finances. Based on what you have said it sounds like the book could be timely for you. Much respect Toño.

  5. Naman Kumar

    May 20, 2016 at 8:51 am

    Thanks for writing such a great post. Good tips.

    • Tim Denning

      May 20, 2016 at 10:24 am

      Not a problem Naman and thanks for reading!

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Life

5 Mindset Shifts You Can Steal From the Movies to Have Blockbuster Success

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If only our clients had the passion of Potterheads. Remember the midnight premiers? Potterheads lined up for hours, dressed in full costume, wands a-blazin’. When the doors finally opened, they couldn’t throw their money at the ticket booth fast enough. How do you create that kind of enthusiasm for your own business?

I’m going to share five mindset shifts straight out of the movie business that you can use to fuel lifelong fanatics. Some of it is going to be tough love, but hey, nobody said getting your own fan club was easy.

1. Stay humble, stay hungry

Working actors audition an average of 67 times before booking a gig. 67 times! And that’s working actors—people who earn their entire livelihood from acting. Most entrepreneurs will hear this stat and say, “I get it. I need to accept failure 66 times.” But this isn’t about that. It’s about showing up 67.

Accepting failure is passive. You can accept failure from your couch. Showing up and trying, however, is active. When you show up, you commit to taking a step forward. And 66 times, you’ll get knocked down. It’s humbling. But on attempt 67, that step forward might finally stick.

Mindset shift: You have an insatiable appetite for success. You know that every failure is one failure down and that, soon, you’ll knock it out of the park.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

2. Treat your audience as kings

The box office doesn’t care what the director’s intentions were, how cool the writer is, or if the lead actor was featured in some fancy magazine, it cares about people in seats. And when thematic costumes clothe them (ala Potterheads), there are more of them.

In movies and entrepreneurship, your most critical metrics depend on your audience’s choices. So, the sooner you start treating your audience as kings and making everything about them, the sooner your metrics will start climbing.

How does the Harry Potter franchise treat Potterheads as kings? Movie premiers are 100% about the fans. They get to feel cool in costume, show off to friends, be among the first, hang out with other super-fans, and more. No matter what, putting your audience’s desire ahead of your own will always pay off in the long run.

Mindset shifts: Other entrepreneurs pursue immediate recognition. But you know that the more special you make your audience feel, the more success you’ll have down the road.

3. Depict compelling transformations

Humans have a fundamental desire for transformation. We love watching movies about redemption, growing up, settling down, overcoming adversity, underdogs, and more. Harry Potter is full of that stuff. Heck, the series even allowed a generation of readers to transform into adults alongside Harry.

This is why Before and After pictures are so incredibly persuasive. They help us to visualize the change we crave. And every single product or service on the market offers some form of transformation. All you have to do is call it out.  

Mindset shift: Bad entrepreneurs sell products. Good entrepreneurs sell solutions. Entrepreneurs who create rabid fans sell transformation.

4. Trust the fundamentals

When I took my first screenwriting class, the number of hyper-specific rules shocked me. Did you know that about 20 minutes into every movie, something dramatic changes in the protagonist’s life and propels them into a new world?

Don’t believe me? Time it. Unsurprisingly, one kid in my class completely ignored the rules. Even more unsurprisingly, his scripts sucked. When my professor called him out, the kid blubbered, “But Tarantino—” To which my professor replied, “Are you Tarantino?” No. No, he was not Tarantino.

The difference between you, me, that kid, and Tarantino is that Tarantino paid his dues. It’s extremely rare to find someone who became successful by completely ignoring the conventions of their craft. And the same is true for entrepreneurship.

Mindset shift: Nobody is “above” learning the fundamentals. You know that by appreciating the current structures and systems, you will be better poised to disrupt them in the future.

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

5. Kill your darlings

Once upon a time, an animation studio was four years into creating a film about the ocean. They had sunk thousands of hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into the project. Then, the unthinkable happened… Finding Nemo. You know what the studio did with their ocean movie? They scrapped it.

As entrepreneurs, once we invest a lot of time and energy into something, we’re afraid to abandon it—even if the circumstances that made it worth pursuing in the first place don’t exist anymore. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s important to remember that regardless of if you keep chugging along, the investment you made is unrecoverable. On the flip side, the gains you made are still valuable. The only choice you have is how you move forward—and sometimes, that means changing course.

Mindset shift: No effort goes to waste, even if the resulting work becomes irrelevant. Instead of letting your ego rule your decisions, you choose the best course of action and move on.

Building enthusiasm for your business is a slow but crucial process. What techniques have you pulled from other fields to help connect with your audience?

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?”

The researchers found that people who experienced high levels of stress were 43% more likely to die in the study’s 8-year period. Doesn’t that prove stress is in fact bad for your health? Not exactly, stress was only harmful to the people who believed stress was harmful.

Those people who experienced high amounts of stress but didn’t believe it was harmful to their health were less likely to die than all other groups in the study. They were even less likely to die than the people who experienced low levels of stress (but believed stress is harmful.)

Put simply, people who believe that stress is not harmful live longer lives than those who believe it is. This study showed that it might not be stress that damages our health, but our beliefs about stress that damages our health.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

Breakthroughs In Stress Research

At first, this might be hard to believe. Kelly McGonigal elegantly explains this phenomenon in The Upside of Stress, “Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it.”

People who believe stress is negative are more likely to avoid it by smoking, binge-eating, or watching too much TV. Afterwards, their physical health pays the price. Fortunately, research has shown that your beliefs about stress can be changed – and changing them has powerful benefits.

A study by Jeremy Jameson and colleagues had people endure a grueling social stress test. Participants were asked to give a 5-minute impromptu speech about their personal weaknesses to a panel of judges. To make this situation even more stressful, the judges were instructed to give negative feedback to the participant giving the speech. This study wasn’t just about sadistically putting people through social pressure, it was testing whether a mindset intervention could change how people react to stress.

Before giving the impromptu speech, participants were shown one of two videos:

  • The first video opened with the message, “Most people think that stress is negative… but research shows that stress is even more debilitating than you expect.”
  • The second video opened with, “Most people think that stress is negative… but actually research shows that it is enhancing.”

Participants who were shown the video that gave examples of how stress can be enhancing were less stressed out during the interview, felt more confident while speaking, and gave better interviews (as rated both by themselves and the judges). Even more impressively, although normally a stress response causes a person’s blood vessels to constrict, the blood vessels of participants who saw the pro-stress video remained relaxed.

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

The Power Of Your Stress Mindset

So, a 3-minute video was able to change the way people responded to a stressful situation, not just psychologically, but physiologically. When we think stress is something we must avoid, stress becomes a negative feedback loop. We experience stress, we think it’s a bad thing, and then our stress makes us even more stressed (and on and on).

But, when we think stress is just a natural part of life, or even a good thing, we are able to embrace it instead of being controlled by it. This not only allows us to perform better in stressful situations, it also enables us to make healthier decisions (because we won’t attempt to avoid stress with unhealthy coping behaviors).

How do you handle stress? Comment below!

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Life

One Piece Of Simple Advice That Changed My Life.

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Image Credit: Unsplash / Danilo Santos
“Stay positive no matter what happens.”

That’s one simple piece of advice that changed my life.

I learned the importance of this advice the hard way when my life was traveling along just nicely. I had a high paying job, a booming blogging career, a partner who loved me, and enough money to live and enjoy a few simple pleasures.

I got to travel overseas to exotic locations and work even allowed me to have some pretty unique experiences like sleeping on a yacht and going surfing with a crazy bunch of entrepreneurs.

I thought I had it all.

People looked at my life and thought it was spectacular.


Deep inside of me, I knew something was not quite right.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something about this so-called perfect life felt wrong.

Before I knew it, I broke up with my girlfriend, lost all of my work colleagues to competitors and found myself staring into a glass half full of instant coffee.

When I hit challenges, I found myself getting pissed off. I’d say to myself “Why me?” and “Get out of my way idiot, you’re blocking the path in front of me.”

How could an internet proclaimed self-help blogger have these crazy, messed up thoughts?

What was wrong was I’d forgotten how to stay positive. I thought that I was past the point of having to deal with challenges and I’d reached a level that I could never go back from.

“Personal development and inspirational content can make you feel invincible — especially when you’re the one creating it”

Sometimes the very thing you preach can be the one thing that is your own downfall.

As I analyzed the situation, I saw that I’d forgotten how to practice positivity.


How does one practice positivity?

By deciding to. Positivity is a choice.

Positivity is like going on an adventure and forcing yourself to see at least one good thing about the journey.

One little hack I used was writing down three things each day I was grateful for. I forced myself to do it at work and locked it into my diary for 9 am every morning.

During the career challenges I mentioned earlier, the lady that sits a few desks away from me described my situation as like being on the Titanic. She called my business unit the “Sinking Ship.”

Outside forces are going to have an effect on you if you let them. I chose to see positivity in what she was saying. I wrote down notes of how this could be positive.

It took a while, but eventually, I got the answer: The Titanic she described was a forced career change into something I liked even more. I’d become comfortable and that was the issue.

At that moment, I realized that I had the power within me to always see positivity if I wanted to.


It’s not about getting rid of negative thoughts necessarily.

It takes a lot of energy to remove or block negative thoughts. Choosing positivity is a much easier process to go through and it takes less energy.

Committing to yourself that there is at least one good outcome from every situation, forces your mind into positivity. It can be done.

You’re supposed to have negative thoughts. They keep you alive. Having zero negative thoughts is impossible. What helped me was balancing my thoughts to be more of the positive variety.


Gossiping and complaining breeds the opposite outcome.

Trying to stay positive no matter what is extremely difficult when you’re in conversations with people who are egging you on to complain, or gossip about someone or something.

The temptation is huge because whether we like it or not, it feels good.

The trouble with complaining or gossiping is that it only breeds more negativity.

You’re asking your brain to dish up negative possibilities and recall negative situations. The other person’s reaction to your negativity only rewards your brain for its hard work.

You can’t focus on being positive if you deliberately hijack your brain every time with gossip talk and picking faults with your co-workers.

People stuff up; they have different beliefs to you; they have other priorities.

Gossiping and complaining doesn’t make anyone else wrong. It does make you practice negativity though and that’s not going to change your life.


Take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you being positive most of the time? When I asked myself this question, I could see clearly that I was not.

I’d fallen into bad habits and allowed outside forces to manipulate my thoughts and turn them toxic.

My life started to change when I acknowledged what was going on and took ownership for it.

“It’s damn hard to admit as a self-help blogger that you’re being extremely negative and ruining your own success. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. Either way, this reality was my truth and I owned it!”

Ignoring the problem is not going to make it magically disappear.

So, what did I do?

  • Stayed clear of the people who were fuelling my negativity
  • Focused on the positivity that already existed in my life like blogging, love and family
  • Chose a new career path that was closer to what I loved
  • Spent more time with other bloggers to learn how they dealt with negativity
  • Took accountability and stopped focusing on outside interference
  • Doubled down on my blogging so I could spread more positivity
  • Spent lots of time watching videos on a Facebook page called Human Kindness

Above all else, one thing that helped was being more kind.

When you’re kind to everyone you encounter, positivity comes at you a hundred miles an hour.

People will make you feel positive when you are kind towards them. You don’t have to hand out millions of dollars in donations or build an orphanage either.

Simple acts of kindness like holding the door open, complimenting someone, or letting a driver into your lane is all it takes.


Tragedy will strike everyone.

That’s not something to be sad about it’s just a fact of life. When you can go through any event and always find a way to be positive, you’re able to recover much quicker. This allows you to support others during these tough times.


Positivity can make you see another way.

By seeing positivity, you’ll discover other options that those around you can’t see.

“Positivity is closely linked to creativity”

Seeing hidden opportunities doesn’t happen when you’re pissed off and want to kill your neighbor because of their dog that always barks when you’re sleeping.

Positivity sparks possibility and that’s where your next opportunity will come from.


Final thought.

Positivity really is the simple advice that will change your life. We can all use more of it and it’s missing in so many souls around the world. Find another way to move forward and don’t be afraid to take a step back once in a while.

Choose positivity in every situation and your life will change. You’ll see a brighter future, and better yet, you’ll create that future for yourself.

You deserve to be fulfilled and do what you love. Let positivity get you there faster.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Simple Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Life for the Better

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Change lies in our ability to create better decisions for ourselves, and we can only do this by establishing a healthy mindset. Learn how to create a better life for yourself by improving your state of mind. I am going to help you get a little closer to the satisfying life you deserve by giving you some simple tips that hav completely changed the way I think of life.

Here are 4 simple things you can do to change your life right now:

1. What is making you unhappy?

Go to a quiet place to sit and think about your life. Take as much time as you need to think about why your life is the way it is. What in your life is going wrong? Why are you feeling this way? If something could fix the way you are feeling, what would it be? Write down all the things that are hindering your quest to life satisfaction and be specific. Then, write down solutions to each problem. This part is critical because it shows that your pain can be solved and therefore is temporary. It also shows that it is up to you to start your journey to a better you.

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn

2. Improve Your Self-Awareness

Intellectual dishonesty is the worst thing we can do to our psyche. It is important to move beyond that barrier to improve self-awareness, which will then improve our lives. Your self-awareness is the ability to evaluate your own actions, feeling, desires and the negative and positive impact they have had on you and your environment. Be honest with yourself and create a list of things you should improve on and work towards those goals. Your list can include things such as, less aggressiveness; more patience or being more open to other people.

3. Put Away Your Phone

It is so easy to check out because of our phones. That little device can do pretty much anything, and we are under its spell. When was the last time you were with your loved ones without your phone being present? Even when you put it away, you keep it on the table and the urge to check it continues to grow.

That is called an addiction. Addiction is not limited to drugs, they can extend to objects or people as well. This unhealthy behavior prevents you from experiencing the present. Learn how to step away from your phone and cultivate your life.

Learn a new language, read a book or indulge in some arts and crafts. Brainstorm some awesome ideas that could lead to great cash flow. You have a ton of other things that you could be doing that will help you in the long run. When you go out with friends and family, turn off your phone and put it away. If someone calls, and it is important, they can leave a voicemail. Texts are not urgent…. because it’s a text. That person could easily call and if they care, they’ll leave a voicemail too.

The bottom line is to not let your phone be you crutch. Let your mind wonder and embrace boredom. You’ll be surprised at how creative your mind can get. You can create whole worlds and destroy them all in your mind! That is fascinating on its own without the help of a device.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Give

Give something to someone at least once a day. This shifts the mindset from, “what I don’t have” to “what do I have to give?” Offer to buy your co-worker’s lunch; help someone with their computer; hold the door open for someone. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself and help others feel lighter on their feet. You could also volunteer or donate some of your belongings that are in good condition. Trust me, someone out there needs them, and they don’t care if it is out of fashion.

To live a better life, we must create a healthier way of thinking. Once our mind is healed, only then we will be able to live our best life. The goal is to create a healthy mindset, so we can make high-quality decisions that will lead to a more satisfying life.   

How are you improving your life today? Comment below!

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How to 10X the Likelihood of Completing Your Next Big Project

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According to Bob Proctor, you have a 95% chance of making personal change happen if you make a plan and set a specific time to share your progress with someone. At the opposite end of the spectrum, you only have a 10% chance of making a change if you say “that’s a good idea” to your next inspirational brain wave without doing anything else. (more…)

McVal Osborne is the author of Start Up your Life: Why we don’t know what we want, and how to set goals that really matter. McVal writes about motivation, decision making, and strategic thinking. He graduated from UC Santa Barbara in 2011 with a degree in Spanish, and has since worked as a market researcher and business consultant in Washington D.C., New York City and London. You can reach him on Twitter @mcval or on IG @mcvaliant.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Naftali Chirchir

    Sep 5, 2016 at 7:28 am

    Comment:
    Thanks for the post, very enlightening!

  2. Nicole

    Jun 6, 2016 at 4:05 am

    Thank you !!!! For sharing this and being so transparent. I really needed this I’ve been holding back trying to keep up with the Joneses going broke trying to impress people who could give 2 shits about me. Then turn around and betray me.

  3. Chris

    May 26, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Everything on this App/website I find enlightening…. But this article really struck a chord. All these things have been applying to me as of lately. I really want a new car, I’m actually considering buying a 3 wheel bike. I do feel I deserve to treat myself for how hard I work. Yet it’s somewhat premature. I always feel the need to buy a new outfit for every club appearance. Whether I get a deal on it or not it is still a bad habit.

    • Tim Denning

      May 27, 2016 at 9:34 pm

      Chris I am glad you like the site and it seems many can relate to some of the points mentioned. The good thing is that at least you have acknowledged some of these points in your own life and now your conscious of them. Thanks for reading.

  4. Toño

    May 23, 2016 at 7:52 am

    You have touched pretty serious theme here, my friend. I was (and still is) living in the fast lane for the last years. This article is a good reminder I am still there and do things which only helps that.

    I reflect with addiction to spending, as I use shopping as my therapy from depression now and then and feel quite good for a brief moment which never last longer than a few days. It’s like a magic pill for a quick fix, which can only reveal your state of mind. Those money I spend could have been easily being used far better, like books, educational programs, gym session or as a ource of food for poor and homeless. Evere time I do that I only practice that habbit and now I understand I have to stop that.

    Most of the time I spend money on clothes. It may not be the most expensive ones but still I have an obsession with it. I have tons of t-shirts and I always dsire more. As of now I go to the gym and body slowly but rightly becomes stronger and bigger, half of my shirts & t-shirts doesn’t fit me. Some of my clothes I have never even wear, not a once. And this is pretty pathetic. I already been considering minimalistic way of living and I have to definitely try it. I agree with you, you don’t have to look rugged, like some supertrump, however you can wear the most simple outfit and be the most awesome, cool person around. Clothes never define you and even if you depend on it and always worry what others think of you, you are most definitely wrong.

    Another thing is alcohol. I never had any addiction to it, never was a heavy drinker. However I started to use it because of the people around me. They used to drink and I thought I have too, even though I never enjoyed the taste of alcohol, never. I never liked it and was just like a mindless zombie, thinkking it would be cool to be on the same level wih my ‘friends’. Five or six years ago I made a decision to quit it completely and can say I still feel pretty amazing about it. I remember it was time of my transformation, I started to realize many important things and was reading ‘The Alchemist’, book that helped me a lot and returned me to my reading habbits once again. Another thing to share, there is a guy I work with (more to say he is my boss) and his body cannot stand even a tiny drop of lightest drink and he immediatelly begin feeling very sick which is the prove that any alcohol is nothing more but a poison for our soul, mind and body.

    Thank you for this amazing article, Tim, I enjoyed it and now can see more clearly on what I gotta work to get out of that fast lane living. Oh, and another book to read, I am curious about ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ now and going to check it out. Much love Tim, stay well and healthy!

    • Tim Denning

      May 23, 2016 at 9:01 am

      Toño I would never have picked you as a guy that is still living in the fast lane. We need to get you out of this lifestyle. Love to see that you are going to the gym and having success at it. Also, congrats on giving up alcohol I am now 13 months sober so I am a long way behind you mate.

      I strongly suggest you check out Rich Dad Poor Dad it will change the way you think about your finances. Based on what you have said it sounds like the book could be timely for you. Much respect Toño.

  5. Naman Kumar

    May 20, 2016 at 8:51 am

    Thanks for writing such a great post. Good tips.

    • Tim Denning

      May 20, 2016 at 10:24 am

      Not a problem Naman and thanks for reading!

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Life

5 Mindset Shifts You Can Steal From the Movies to Have Blockbuster Success

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If only our clients had the passion of Potterheads. Remember the midnight premiers? Potterheads lined up for hours, dressed in full costume, wands a-blazin’. When the doors finally opened, they couldn’t throw their money at the ticket booth fast enough. How do you create that kind of enthusiasm for your own business?

I’m going to share five mindset shifts straight out of the movie business that you can use to fuel lifelong fanatics. Some of it is going to be tough love, but hey, nobody said getting your own fan club was easy.

1. Stay humble, stay hungry

Working actors audition an average of 67 times before booking a gig. 67 times! And that’s working actors—people who earn their entire livelihood from acting. Most entrepreneurs will hear this stat and say, “I get it. I need to accept failure 66 times.” But this isn’t about that. It’s about showing up 67.

Accepting failure is passive. You can accept failure from your couch. Showing up and trying, however, is active. When you show up, you commit to taking a step forward. And 66 times, you’ll get knocked down. It’s humbling. But on attempt 67, that step forward might finally stick.

Mindset shift: You have an insatiable appetite for success. You know that every failure is one failure down and that, soon, you’ll knock it out of the park.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

2. Treat your audience as kings

The box office doesn’t care what the director’s intentions were, how cool the writer is, or if the lead actor was featured in some fancy magazine, it cares about people in seats. And when thematic costumes clothe them (ala Potterheads), there are more of them.

In movies and entrepreneurship, your most critical metrics depend on your audience’s choices. So, the sooner you start treating your audience as kings and making everything about them, the sooner your metrics will start climbing.

How does the Harry Potter franchise treat Potterheads as kings? Movie premiers are 100% about the fans. They get to feel cool in costume, show off to friends, be among the first, hang out with other super-fans, and more. No matter what, putting your audience’s desire ahead of your own will always pay off in the long run.

Mindset shifts: Other entrepreneurs pursue immediate recognition. But you know that the more special you make your audience feel, the more success you’ll have down the road.

3. Depict compelling transformations

Humans have a fundamental desire for transformation. We love watching movies about redemption, growing up, settling down, overcoming adversity, underdogs, and more. Harry Potter is full of that stuff. Heck, the series even allowed a generation of readers to transform into adults alongside Harry.

This is why Before and After pictures are so incredibly persuasive. They help us to visualize the change we crave. And every single product or service on the market offers some form of transformation. All you have to do is call it out.  

Mindset shift: Bad entrepreneurs sell products. Good entrepreneurs sell solutions. Entrepreneurs who create rabid fans sell transformation.

4. Trust the fundamentals

When I took my first screenwriting class, the number of hyper-specific rules shocked me. Did you know that about 20 minutes into every movie, something dramatic changes in the protagonist’s life and propels them into a new world?

Don’t believe me? Time it. Unsurprisingly, one kid in my class completely ignored the rules. Even more unsurprisingly, his scripts sucked. When my professor called him out, the kid blubbered, “But Tarantino—” To which my professor replied, “Are you Tarantino?” No. No, he was not Tarantino.

The difference between you, me, that kid, and Tarantino is that Tarantino paid his dues. It’s extremely rare to find someone who became successful by completely ignoring the conventions of their craft. And the same is true for entrepreneurship.

Mindset shift: Nobody is “above” learning the fundamentals. You know that by appreciating the current structures and systems, you will be better poised to disrupt them in the future.

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

5. Kill your darlings

Once upon a time, an animation studio was four years into creating a film about the ocean. They had sunk thousands of hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into the project. Then, the unthinkable happened… Finding Nemo. You know what the studio did with their ocean movie? They scrapped it.

As entrepreneurs, once we invest a lot of time and energy into something, we’re afraid to abandon it—even if the circumstances that made it worth pursuing in the first place don’t exist anymore. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s important to remember that regardless of if you keep chugging along, the investment you made is unrecoverable. On the flip side, the gains you made are still valuable. The only choice you have is how you move forward—and sometimes, that means changing course.

Mindset shift: No effort goes to waste, even if the resulting work becomes irrelevant. Instead of letting your ego rule your decisions, you choose the best course of action and move on.

Building enthusiasm for your business is a slow but crucial process. What techniques have you pulled from other fields to help connect with your audience?

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?”

The researchers found that people who experienced high levels of stress were 43% more likely to die in the study’s 8-year period. Doesn’t that prove stress is in fact bad for your health? Not exactly, stress was only harmful to the people who believed stress was harmful.

Those people who experienced high amounts of stress but didn’t believe it was harmful to their health were less likely to die than all other groups in the study. They were even less likely to die than the people who experienced low levels of stress (but believed stress is harmful.)

Put simply, people who believe that stress is not harmful live longer lives than those who believe it is. This study showed that it might not be stress that damages our health, but our beliefs about stress that damages our health.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

Breakthroughs In Stress Research

At first, this might be hard to believe. Kelly McGonigal elegantly explains this phenomenon in The Upside of Stress, “Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it.”

People who believe stress is negative are more likely to avoid it by smoking, binge-eating, or watching too much TV. Afterwards, their physical health pays the price. Fortunately, research has shown that your beliefs about stress can be changed – and changing them has powerful benefits.

A study by Jeremy Jameson and colleagues had people endure a grueling social stress test. Participants were asked to give a 5-minute impromptu speech about their personal weaknesses to a panel of judges. To make this situation even more stressful, the judges were instructed to give negative feedback to the participant giving the speech. This study wasn’t just about sadistically putting people through social pressure, it was testing whether a mindset intervention could change how people react to stress.

Before giving the impromptu speech, participants were shown one of two videos:

  • The first video opened with the message, “Most people think that stress is negative… but research shows that stress is even more debilitating than you expect.”
  • The second video opened with, “Most people think that stress is negative… but actually research shows that it is enhancing.”

Participants who were shown the video that gave examples of how stress can be enhancing were less stressed out during the interview, felt more confident while speaking, and gave better interviews (as rated both by themselves and the judges). Even more impressively, although normally a stress response causes a person’s blood vessels to constrict, the blood vessels of participants who saw the pro-stress video remained relaxed.

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

The Power Of Your Stress Mindset

So, a 3-minute video was able to change the way people responded to a stressful situation, not just psychologically, but physiologically. When we think stress is something we must avoid, stress becomes a negative feedback loop. We experience stress, we think it’s a bad thing, and then our stress makes us even more stressed (and on and on).

But, when we think stress is just a natural part of life, or even a good thing, we are able to embrace it instead of being controlled by it. This not only allows us to perform better in stressful situations, it also enables us to make healthier decisions (because we won’t attempt to avoid stress with unhealthy coping behaviors).

How do you handle stress? Comment below!

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Life

One Piece Of Simple Advice That Changed My Life.

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“Stay positive no matter what happens.”

That’s one simple piece of advice that changed my life.

I learned the importance of this advice the hard way when my life was traveling along just nicely. I had a high paying job, a booming blogging career, a partner who loved me, and enough money to live and enjoy a few simple pleasures.

I got to travel overseas to exotic locations and work even allowed me to have some pretty unique experiences like sleeping on a yacht and going surfing with a crazy bunch of entrepreneurs.

I thought I had it all.

People looked at my life and thought it was spectacular.


Deep inside of me, I knew something was not quite right.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something about this so-called perfect life felt wrong.

Before I knew it, I broke up with my girlfriend, lost all of my work colleagues to competitors and found myself staring into a glass half full of instant coffee.

When I hit challenges, I found myself getting pissed off. I’d say to myself “Why me?” and “Get out of my way idiot, you’re blocking the path in front of me.”

How could an internet proclaimed self-help blogger have these crazy, messed up thoughts?

What was wrong was I’d forgotten how to stay positive. I thought that I was past the point of having to deal with challenges and I’d reached a level that I could never go back from.

“Personal development and inspirational content can make you feel invincible — especially when you’re the one creating it”

Sometimes the very thing you preach can be the one thing that is your own downfall.

As I analyzed the situation, I saw that I’d forgotten how to practice positivity.


How does one practice positivity?

By deciding to. Positivity is a choice.

Positivity is like going on an adventure and forcing yourself to see at least one good thing about the journey.

One little hack I used was writing down three things each day I was grateful for. I forced myself to do it at work and locked it into my diary for 9 am every morning.

During the career challenges I mentioned earlier, the lady that sits a few desks away from me described my situation as like being on the Titanic. She called my business unit the “Sinking Ship.”

Outside forces are going to have an effect on you if you let them. I chose to see positivity in what she was saying. I wrote down notes of how this could be positive.

It took a while, but eventually, I got the answer: The Titanic she described was a forced career change into something I liked even more. I’d become comfortable and that was the issue.

At that moment, I realized that I had the power within me to always see positivity if I wanted to.


It’s not about getting rid of negative thoughts necessarily.

It takes a lot of energy to remove or block negative thoughts. Choosing positivity is a much easier process to go through and it takes less energy.

Committing to yourself that there is at least one good outcome from every situation, forces your mind into positivity. It can be done.

You’re supposed to have negative thoughts. They keep you alive. Having zero negative thoughts is impossible. What helped me was balancing my thoughts to be more of the positive variety.


Gossiping and complaining breeds the opposite outcome.

Trying to stay positive no matter what is extremely difficult when you’re in conversations with people who are egging you on to complain, or gossip about someone or something.

The temptation is huge because whether we like it or not, it feels good.

The trouble with complaining or gossiping is that it only breeds more negativity.

You’re asking your brain to dish up negative possibilities and recall negative situations. The other person’s reaction to your negativity only rewards your brain for its hard work.

You can’t focus on being positive if you deliberately hijack your brain every time with gossip talk and picking faults with your co-workers.

People stuff up; they have different beliefs to you; they have other priorities.

Gossiping and complaining doesn’t make anyone else wrong. It does make you practice negativity though and that’s not going to change your life.


Take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you being positive most of the time? When I asked myself this question, I could see clearly that I was not.

I’d fallen into bad habits and allowed outside forces to manipulate my thoughts and turn them toxic.

My life started to change when I acknowledged what was going on and took ownership for it.

“It’s damn hard to admit as a self-help blogger that you’re being extremely negative and ruining your own success. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. Either way, this reality was my truth and I owned it!”

Ignoring the problem is not going to make it magically disappear.

So, what did I do?

  • Stayed clear of the people who were fuelling my negativity
  • Focused on the positivity that already existed in my life like blogging, love and family
  • Chose a new career path that was closer to what I loved
  • Spent more time with other bloggers to learn how they dealt with negativity
  • Took accountability and stopped focusing on outside interference
  • Doubled down on my blogging so I could spread more positivity
  • Spent lots of time watching videos on a Facebook page called Human Kindness

Above all else, one thing that helped was being more kind.

When you’re kind to everyone you encounter, positivity comes at you a hundred miles an hour.

People will make you feel positive when you are kind towards them. You don’t have to hand out millions of dollars in donations or build an orphanage either.

Simple acts of kindness like holding the door open, complimenting someone, or letting a driver into your lane is all it takes.


Tragedy will strike everyone.

That’s not something to be sad about it’s just a fact of life. When you can go through any event and always find a way to be positive, you’re able to recover much quicker. This allows you to support others during these tough times.


Positivity can make you see another way.

By seeing positivity, you’ll discover other options that those around you can’t see.

“Positivity is closely linked to creativity”

Seeing hidden opportunities doesn’t happen when you’re pissed off and want to kill your neighbor because of their dog that always barks when you’re sleeping.

Positivity sparks possibility and that’s where your next opportunity will come from.


Final thought.

Positivity really is the simple advice that will change your life. We can all use more of it and it’s missing in so many souls around the world. Find another way to move forward and don’t be afraid to take a step back once in a while.

Choose positivity in every situation and your life will change. You’ll see a brighter future, and better yet, you’ll create that future for yourself.

You deserve to be fulfilled and do what you love. Let positivity get you there faster.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Simple Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Life for the Better

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Change lies in our ability to create better decisions for ourselves, and we can only do this by establishing a healthy mindset. Learn how to create a better life for yourself by improving your state of mind. I am going to help you get a little closer to the satisfying life you deserve by giving you some simple tips that hav completely changed the way I think of life.

Here are 4 simple things you can do to change your life right now:

1. What is making you unhappy?

Go to a quiet place to sit and think about your life. Take as much time as you need to think about why your life is the way it is. What in your life is going wrong? Why are you feeling this way? If something could fix the way you are feeling, what would it be? Write down all the things that are hindering your quest to life satisfaction and be specific. Then, write down solutions to each problem. This part is critical because it shows that your pain can be solved and therefore is temporary. It also shows that it is up to you to start your journey to a better you.

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn

2. Improve Your Self-Awareness

Intellectual dishonesty is the worst thing we can do to our psyche. It is important to move beyond that barrier to improve self-awareness, which will then improve our lives. Your self-awareness is the ability to evaluate your own actions, feeling, desires and the negative and positive impact they have had on you and your environment. Be honest with yourself and create a list of things you should improve on and work towards those goals. Your list can include things such as, less aggressiveness; more patience or being more open to other people.

3. Put Away Your Phone

It is so easy to check out because of our phones. That little device can do pretty much anything, and we are under its spell. When was the last time you were with your loved ones without your phone being present? Even when you put it away, you keep it on the table and the urge to check it continues to grow.

That is called an addiction. Addiction is not limited to drugs, they can extend to objects or people as well. This unhealthy behavior prevents you from experiencing the present. Learn how to step away from your phone and cultivate your life.

Learn a new language, read a book or indulge in some arts and crafts. Brainstorm some awesome ideas that could lead to great cash flow. You have a ton of other things that you could be doing that will help you in the long run. When you go out with friends and family, turn off your phone and put it away. If someone calls, and it is important, they can leave a voicemail. Texts are not urgent…. because it’s a text. That person could easily call and if they care, they’ll leave a voicemail too.

The bottom line is to not let your phone be you crutch. Let your mind wonder and embrace boredom. You’ll be surprised at how creative your mind can get. You can create whole worlds and destroy them all in your mind! That is fascinating on its own without the help of a device.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Give

Give something to someone at least once a day. This shifts the mindset from, “what I don’t have” to “what do I have to give?” Offer to buy your co-worker’s lunch; help someone with their computer; hold the door open for someone. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself and help others feel lighter on their feet. You could also volunteer or donate some of your belongings that are in good condition. Trust me, someone out there needs them, and they don’t care if it is out of fashion.

To live a better life, we must create a healthier way of thinking. Once our mind is healed, only then we will be able to live our best life. The goal is to create a healthy mindset, so we can make high-quality decisions that will lead to a more satisfying life.   

How are you improving your life today? Comment below!

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