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10 Success Tips From My $100M Friend Turned Homeless Man

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In 2010, I met a man who was worth in 2007, $100M from starting his own business. What I didn’t know in 2010 was that the man, who would later become my friend, was actually bankrupt and homeless.

The story is quite an odd one so I will do my best to briefly tell it for you. In 2007, my friend received a legal notice to his business address. The legal notice was for something minor, and so he sent it on to his lawyer for review.

Over the next few months, his lawyer worked through the matter, and it was nearly resolved. What happened next was quite unexpected; his lawyer was shot dead in the middle of the street while trying to help a woman that was being attacked by a man.

The lawyers bravery, unfortunately, saw him shot in the head at point-blank range, although he didn’t die for nothing and will always be remembered.

What followed next was a series of bizarre events. This minor legal matter was forgotten about by my friend, and he had thought that his lawyer had resolved it. When he found out it was unresolved, he learned that the solution to the matter died with his lawyer.

Things quickly turned bad, and within a short space of time, he was met at his famous mansion by the sheriff who went and repossessed all the belongings he had including the house. One strange thing though was that my friend got to keep all of his luxury clothes as these were considered essential items (these clothes became paramount later on).

The first night he was made homeless and had nowhere to sleep, a miracle occurred; his second daughter was born. With nowhere else to stay, the hospital became his accommodation for a short while until he was kicked out onto the street.

For the next few years, he and his two daughters under five years of age lived out of his beaten up car in a rough neighbourhood. He went from eating at five-star restaurants to eating food out of a can. The most frustrating part of all for him was that he had no idea what had caused his fortune to be lost, and the only person that knew was now dead.

My friend could have been one of the greats. He used to have the power to change the world with his incredible skill of coming up with an idea and then making money from it. Over the years, he has become a phenomenal mentor and someone who has taught me many lessons through the adversity he has faced, and the pain he continues to suffer to this day.

We often think that the art of success comes from what we learn off highly successful people, but I have found that some of the best lessons can also be learned by the ones that don’t end up succeeding too.

I am conscious that by knowing this man, I have begun to have a different view of success. My worldview has not only been shaped by the sensationalism we all see on social media, but by real people, and actual reality.

Below are the ten lessons this former $100M friend, turned homeless man taught me.

1. First impressions matter (it’s also easy to be deceived)

When I first met this man he was wearing a worn out pair of cargo pants and an unbuttoned chequered shirt. He came to the company I was involved with to interview for a sales job. Everyone in the office thought he looked like a loser and couldn’t sell to save his life (including me).

For some unknown reason, the sales manager liked him, and he was hired on the spot. What he taught me next I didn’t see coming. For the next four weeks, he called prospective clients and put them in his Salesforce opportunity list with some huge revenue numbers next to each one.

He was the joke of the office, and everyone thought he was dreaming. Generally, when a new sales person started, they would make their first sale within twenty-four hours. If you didn’t, you were usually fired.

To top it off, he had lots of cigarette breaks, hid in the corner without talking to the other sales people, and drank loads of instant Nescafe coffee (one every hour). By week four he had still not made a sale.

One Friday afternoon, the sales manager and I decided that it was time to fire him. I went down the stairs and into the sales office to find him, and strangely enough, he had gone home early. So, we agreed to fire him on the following Monday.

On Monday morning, I came into the office and looked at the sales whiteboard to see that he had made his first sale, and the dollar value was large. The sales manager and I thought we better give him a bit longer to see if it was a fluke.

What proceeded to happen from here was something I will never forget; he just began to put up sales every day. It was like a waterfall, and no one could stop him. Within a few months, he outsold the entire sales team on his own.

Like anyone achieving this level of success, myself and the other guys began to become intrigued by this man. As we got to know him better, we learned that he was better at building rapport than anyone we had ever met.

None of his sales conversations spoke of the product and usually just involved him talking about the customers hobbies, promising to come to their next barbecue, and then taking an order for some product in the last two minutes of the call.

So the success tip from all of this is that the way you dress matters and it could cause you not to get a chance, but at the same time, don’t judge a book by its cover. The strangest, quietest people can also be the most successful people you will ever meet.

2. Any skill can be learned if repeated enough times

As I delved a bit deeper into this man, I found out that before working with us he actually worked for a charity. Straight after he became homeless, he lost all belief that he could be successful again and found the quickest job he could.

The money he earnt at this job didn’t really help his homeless situation. His job every day was to be tied to a phone, working in a call centre, and calling people one after another to ask for a donation to the charity.

He rapidly learned how to get people’s attention and then quickly get money from them – it was all about trust. At this job, he became the highest grossing salesperson too and worked like a dog with only one or two very short breaks.

While he was good at sales in his startup career, the charity job took him to the next level and taught him many lessons, including the importance of confidence. As he was able to rebuild his confidence again by becoming the number one salesperson, he quickly decided it was time to move on from this job, and that’s when I met him.

3. Even a homeless man can get a loan for a Mercedes

This next success tip again took me by surprise. I used to tell my ex-millionaire friend about all these people I would meet that had very nice luxury cars. He told me anyone could get one even a homeless man.

I didn’t believe him until one day, he calls me up and says, “I just bought a new Mercedes Benz four-wheel drive.” At this time in his life, he was again unemployed and looking for the next job. I didn’t believe him and told him to come and show me.

Sure enough, he arrives at my house with the Mercedes-Benz. He explains to me that lots of people appear rich and that even a homeless man like him can have the same effect. He told me that getting a car lease is not that hard, but paying it back is a whole other story that takes discipline. What was interesting is that he had every intention of paying the loan back because he was optimistic he would earn the money he needed to, to fulfil his debt.

He told me that sometimes you have to take a risk even when you don’t know the outcome and to just have faith that you will find a way. In fact, he was adamant that having the loan was more likely to motivate him to get out of his current situation.

The success tip here is that you should never be fooled by possessions or someone’s perceived image. I personally have met many people who appear rich and are actually dead broke. It’s often their addiction to luxury cars that can keep them broke too.

Try to buy things that you can afford and focus on building a business or acquiring income-generating assets, and not material things that will never make you happy. At the same time, don’t forget to give a percentage of all the money you earn to create good in the world and help others.

4. Dishonest people will fall on their own sword (they don’t need your help)

Before all of my self-development training, I used to believe that it was my job to highlight dishonest people. What my ex-millionaire friend taught me was that dishonest people will bring themselves down and by bad mouthing them; I am only bringing myself down with them.

This lesson that he taught me has been proven time and time again. The best example is his brother who he introduced me to one night. After meeting his brother, he told me that I shouldn’t spend time with him because he was dishonest.

Initially, I didn’t get the message and stayed in touch with his brother until I learned the hard way.

“I quickly realised that having a toxic person in your network is a very bad idea”

Many people would ask me my opinion of his brother and rather than say bad things about him I learned to distance myself from him instead.

To make things worse, his brother would drop my name in conversations and pretend that we did business together. I would often get phone calls from people I knew saying that my friends brother had mentioned me, and they would ask me about him, I would just tell them that he was someone I didn’t know well (which is true) and that I am not currently doing any business deals with him.

Pretty quickly, my friend’s brother fell on his own sword, and people realised who he truly was. While I sometimes wished I never were introduced to him, I learnt a valuable lesson about dishonest people at the same time, which I will never forget.

5. The cost of missed opportunity

Following on from the previous point, my ex-millionaire friend taught me about how your own personal brand and your level of honesty can cause you to miss opportunities. He explained to me that when you screw someone over, the ripple effect and opportunities you will miss can never be measured.

The scary part about this success tip from my friend is that you will never know what those opportunities were, so, therefore, you will never know the true effect that being dishonest will cost you.

Every day that goes by, opportunities will be presented to people that are in the dishonest person’s network, and they will be turned down behind their back. They will never be able to have visibility of these opportunities or the chance to defend themselves. When you meet a dishonest person, they will often spend their entire life wondering why they are not happy or why they are unsuccessful.

On top of this, they will blame their circumstances on luck or timing. The hardest part of this concept is that it’s not something many of us learn, and the act of being dishonest separates us from realising the consequences of our action.

The only true way to avoid this problem happening to you is not to be dishonest – period. Personally, this is one of my favourite success tips from my friend and it’s become a true law of my universe that I swear by.

6. Your family is all you have

When my ex-millionaire friend had all of his material possessions taken away, he taught me a groundbreaking success tip. He taught me that above all else, your family is what truly matters. Even when my friend had nothing, he still had his family by his side that supported him and helped make him smile.

This idea is so simple, yet it’s truly inspirational when you think about it properly. In the early days of having money myself, people used to tell me how lucky I was and how my life was set. I would always respond to them with the same answer; “as quick as you can make money you can lose it. Always stay humble and remember what matters.”

7. Money is made through your passion not get rich quick schemes

For the last five or so years, my friend has still struggled with poverty and homelessness. The reason I believe this is the case is because he broke a universal law; he spent the last few years on get rich quick schemes.

My friend has tried to do things he doesn’t care about to make money and then he has quickly given up on each business venture.

Unless you tie passion to the act of making money, you will never be able to sustain the habits that are required to follow through on your business.

The good news is, in recent times he has gone back to what he’s passionate about and what made him rich in the first place. Since doing this, he finally looks like he may be able to get back on his feet and provide the essentials for his family again.

It’s been such a long road for him but sometimes, as much as you want to, you need to let those around you make their own decisions and learn the basic success principles themselves. Eventually, when they come to understand the same principles that we are all learning on Addicted2Success, they finally start achieving their goals.

8. Real friends give you the best advice when you’re down

A few years back I went through my own struggles as we all do, and my ex-millionaire friend taught me a lot. Due to his ability to sell to almost anyone, I thought that he could save me from my problems. I made the mistake of initially thinking that somebody else could do the growing for me.

My friend observed what I was going through, gave me some advice, but left me to take the action. He knew that if enough time went by I would be forced to act, and he used this to my own advantage. Sure enough, I took his advice and completely changed my life around.

This taught me that real friends give you the best advice when you need it, but they force you to get the lesson yourself because they know that’s the only way you’ll learn. Real friends give you direction and ideas, not forced opinions.

9. Smoking will cripple your health (and your energy)

Over the time, I have known my ex-millionaire friend he has smoked cigarettes heavily. Now we all have known for some time that this is not good, but through my friend’s eyes, I have seen something more worrying.

For the last few years, he has had some serious medical issues that have had the potential to take his life away, but that appear to be unrelated to his smoking. With each new illness, the link to his smoking has been ignored.

Part of the reason he hasn’t been able to get back to his former glory is that he just doesn’t have the energy to do so. Creating value for others in the form of money takes a lot of energy and hard work, and if you deprive your body of the one thing it needs (oxygen), then success can quickly become an impossible task.

10. Be humble and gracious

The final success tip my ex-millionaire friend taught me is always to be humble and gracious. Even with all of the pain he has experienced, he still does his best to come back to his family every day with just enough money to feed his daughters, and he will happily starve himself for his loved ones.

He never complains about what happened to him, and he always stays optimistic that he will be back on top one day. Back on top may seem like having his money again, but somehow, I think back on top for him will be seeing his children grow up and knowing that he taught them good values.

***Final thought***

So as you can see, my ex-millionaire friend taught me a lot of what I know. Still to this day, he has no income and barely keeps a roof over his head. While I still keep the faith that he will one day prove to the world his sheer brilliance, I also know that it’s a possibility that I am the only one that will ever know.

Many people walk by him in the street and have no idea of his gift. He comes across as a hard man, but deep down he is very kind. Deep down he has the principles of success buried inside of him, and I can only hope that he will reveal them to the world one day.

Don’t ever let money define you and never give up on your dream. Whether that’s building a nine-figure startup like my ex-millionaire friend, or doing something as simple as writing a book, remember what you have learned in this article, keep your head up, and stay humble no matter what.

Do you know someone who has fallen from their former glory? What did they teach you? Let me know in the comments section below or on my Twitter and Facebook pages.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Evan

    Mar 17, 2016 at 10:04 am

    Tim,

    Awesome article as usual! I also believe it’s really important to look for the best ways to create value, which in my experience is next to impossible if you’re not obsessed with the topic!

    – Evan

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 18, 2016 at 3:47 am

      Thanks Evan for reading and I always appreciate the kind feedback you give. As you can see I am very obsessed with the topic of success…lol.

  2. Gaurav

    Mar 10, 2016 at 9:38 am

    Great article to learn from someone else’s experience.

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 12, 2016 at 12:00 am

      Gaurav thanks for taking the time to read it. Real life lessons I find are the best ones. Especially when you can learn from them without having to go through the negative experience yourself.

  3. De_major

    Mar 6, 2016 at 9:13 am

    I can keep on reading this article for months…….it’s lovely. In fact i will recommend it to friends and family. Its ……fantastic

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 6, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      Wow, thanks for the kind words De major!

  4. Tushar

    Mar 5, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    Hi,
    Tim great article.. and i enjoyed reading and remembering my beliefs. Thanks.
    Twitter @tusharg19

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 6, 2016 at 1:48 am

      No probs Tushar and thanks for reading.

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Success Advice

19 Success Mantras From Zig Ziglar to Help You Unleash Your True Potential

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Zig Ziglar quotes
Image Credit: Entrepreneur.com

There’s a good reason why Zig Ziglar is considered by many as the Godfather of motivation. Ziglar did not beat around the bush; he had a clear set of ideas, with easy to implement strategies coupled with powerful tonality and delivery that made him one of the best in the business.

The following is a collection of 19 success mantras from Ziglar that will inspire and motivate you to take the right action and unleash your greatest potential.

1. Create a very specific and detailed goal

“You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal.” – Zig Ziglar

The first success mantra from Ziglar is to set specific goals, because goals help you focus.

Ziglar wants you to set following types of goals:

  • Big goals: Big goals are the type of goals that cause excitement and motivate you. If setbacks happen, focusing on these big goals will help push you forward.
  • Long range goals: These can include monthly and yearly goals.
  • Daily goals: Daily goals help you work consistently toward your long range goals.

Once your goals are in place, you can develop a plan on how to achieve them. Find out what obstacles you face, the skills you need to learn, and the people you need to meet in order to achieve your goals.

You don’t need to have everything figured out in the beginning. You can alter your goals and plans as you progress and as things become clear.

2. Visualize reaching your goals

If you want to reach your goal, you must see it, be able to smell, touch and taste it, know how it looks and what it feels like in your own mind.” – Zig Ziglar

Imagination (or seeing things using your mind’s eye) is the most powerful tool at your disposal. You can achieve miracles if you use this tool properly.

So take a few moments daily to relax, clear your mind and actually visualize yourself living the type of life you intend to live. See yourself with the nice things you want in your life such as owning a house or taking a vacation. While you are doing this, bring some emotion into your body to mimic the emotions you would feel when you actually achieve your dreams.

Visualizing this way helps change your attitude, removes limiting beliefs and reprograms your subconscious mind with positive, empowering beliefs, so you can move toward your goals faster.

3. Plan your day first thing in the morning

Every morning, run through your mind the things you are going to be doing. As you plan the day, as you think of all the things you have got to be excited about, it really does renew your energy.” – Zig Ziglar

A powerful tactic to ensure that you achieve your daily goals is to plan your day first thing in the morning. You can sit in silence and simply visualize all the things you are going to do today and how you are going to do it. As you visualize your day this way, you are filled with positive energy that will motivate you to utilize your time perfectly and take the right action.

4. Develop habits for success

Motivation gets you going and habit gets you there.” – Zig Ziglar

Ziglar is right in pointing out that, motivation doesn’t last forever, but habits once formed, last forever. As human beings, we are creatures of habit. Habit forming is difficult in the beginning, but it’s formed, you start doing it effortlessly.

In order to reach success, you need to substitute your bad habits with good ones. For instance, a good habit would be getting up early in the morning, planning your day, and working for 1 to 2 hours without giving into distractions. Remember that habits are formed once you repeatedly do something for 21 consecutive days.

5. Believe that you can

Before you can reach that goals, it is true that whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are generally right.” – Zig Ziglar

If deep inside, you do not believe that you have what it takes to reach your goals, then you will never reach them. Therefore, it is crucial that you believe in your abilities and back yourself up to reach your goals. Whenever thoughts of self doubt arise, do not pay them any heed and instead shift your focus to empowering and uplifting thoughts of self belief.

6. Optimize your mind

Remember, you are what you are and where you are because of what’s going on in your mind. And you can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind.” – Zig Ziglar

As we grow up, we unconsciously imbibe a lot of negative and limiting beliefs from our surroundings. These beliefs unless discarded will hamper your growth, so become conscious of your limiting thoughts. Study these thoughts and figure out from where they arise.

In other words, what beliefs in your subconscious are responsible for them. Once you are aware of these beliefs, stop giving them power by consciously shifting your attention from the negative thoughts to positive and empowering thoughts. Using affirmations and positive self talk is also a great way to reprogram your subconscious mind.

7. Develop a positive self image

If you don’t see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.” – Zig Ziglar

How you perceive yourself in your mind’s eye is one of the most important factors that determines whether or not you will succeed.

If you think of yourself as someone who has what it takes to achieve success, you will achieve success, but if you think you are not good enough, you will see your reality reflecting that thought back to you. In-fact, your currently reality is reflective of the self image that you hold within.

Therefore, become conscious of the type of image you hold of yourself in your mind. Ask yourself these questions: How do I view myself? Do I think I am capable of reaching success? Do I believe that I deserve success? Do I see myself as a winner that everyone looks up to?

Simply becoming conscious of your self image can help you alter it from negative to positive.

8. Don’t worry about what others think of you

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember ~ the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar

People will always have something to say and you cannot please everyone. Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about other people’s actions and opinions. Keep your attention focused on your priorities because that’s what matters.

9. Learn from your mistakes

If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.” – Zig Ziglar

It’s only human to make mistakes. The important thing therefore is to not dwell over your mistakes and instead, ask yourself, what your mistakes are trying to teach you. In doing so, learn from your mistakes, because they are the greatest factors for your personal growth.

10. Always be open to learning

Life is a classroom – only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class.” – Zig Ziglar

The moment you think you know everything is the moment you stop growing. In order to succeed, you need to keep growing. Always keep an open mind, and always be open to learning. Do not become a slave to your beliefs, doctrines, and ideologies.

11. Practice delayed gratification

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.” –  Zig Ziglar

Studies prove that delayed gratification is a key factor toward achieving success. Make it a habit to not let distractions or short term pleasures take your focus away from achieving your long term pleasures and future rewards. The more you practice doing this, the stronger your self control becomes helping you achieve your long term goals faster.

12. Connect with yourself

Outside of your relationship with God, the most important relationship you can have is with yourself. We must be healthy internally, emotionally and spiritually – in order to create healthy relationships with others.” – Zig Ziglar

Spend time with yourself. Get to know and understand yourself by practicing self reflection. The more you know yourself, the more you get in touch with your true nature, desires, and goals. Similarly, only by knowing yourself can you begin to know others. Only by loving yourself can you start attracting the right people into your life. All of these characteristics are crucial for success.

13. Spend time in solitude

If you want to build a winning attitude, you need to take time to be quiet. And you need to do it at-least three to four times a week.” – Zig Ziglar

Ziglar is a major advocate of spending time in solitude. Spending time in solitude helps you reconnect with yourself. It also helps you clear your mind and attract life changing ideas. So make it a habit to spend time alone doing nothing. Spending even a few minutes with your own reflective thoughts can make a huge difference.

14. Surround yourself with uplifting people

Surround yourself with people who want the best for you and the people you love!” – Zig Ziglar

For the most part, people can be divided into two categories – the lilies and the leeches. The lilies are those who uplift you and leeches are those who drain you.

If you are surrounded by leeches all day long, they will suck your energy dry and you will find yourself feeling a lot less motivated and productive. Instead, when you surround yourself with good people, you will find yourself full of positive energy to take action.

So make a conscious effort to cut out toxic people from your life and surround yourself with people who inspire you to be yourself and who accept you for who you are.

15. Express gratitude

Of all the “attitudes” we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life changing.” – Zig Ziglar

Expressing gratitude changes your mindset from one of lack to one of abundance. When you feel abundance, you attract abundance into your life. Therefore, every day make it a point to feel gratitude for everything that you have in your life.

16. Value your time and use it effectively

If you don’t plan your time, someone else will help you waste it.” – Zig Ziglar

Use time as your most valuable resource. This is where planning your day can help you immensely. When you have a set plan in place, you will automatically learn to say no to things that are not productive.

17. Start slow and develop as you go

Peak performance is dependent on passion, grit, determination, and a willingness to do something poorly until you can do it well.” – Zig Ziglar

You don’t need to have everything figured out from the very beginning. It is also not important that you are an expert in your field of work from the very beginning. You can begin small with whatever you have and develop as you go along. Remember that it is the slow and steady that wins the race.

18. Do not compare yourself to others

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others.” – Zig Ziglar

In order to reach your goals, it is important that you know your strengths and abilities. Focus on them instead of focusing on your weaknesses. When you compare yourself to others, you automatically start to see things that you lack and lose perspective. Get rid of the habit of comparing yourself to others, and keep your focus on yourself.

19. Be persistent

If you have the character to hang in there when its tough, you will develop or acquire every other characteristic necessary to WIN in the game of life.” – Zig Ziglar

And finally, the most important of all is to be persistent in your efforts even when the going gets tough.

Ziglar’s book, ‘See You At The Top’, was rejected 39 times before it was published in the year 1975. The book is still in print today and is considered an American classic. Goes to show what persistence can help you achieve. It does not matter how slow you are as long as you are persistent.

Which one of Zig Zaglar’s 19 success mantras resonated most with you and why? Share your thoughts below!

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Success Advice

4 Ways You Can Master Magnetic Confidence – Ashley Hann

Ashley Hann

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Ashley Hannawacker speaker and coach

What does confidence mean to you? For me, it is a deep, unshakable internal knowing of your value, your worth, what you bring to the world and who you really are. I believe that in order to experience our own greatness, we must first know it exists within ourselves. We must believe it in order to see it.

Once you have arrived at this deep knowing, you will be able to experience and exude your own personal magnetism. I define magnetic confidence as the ability to attract anything and everything that is in alignment with who you are and what you want, and repel everything that isn’t.

You become polarizing.

In this Addicted2Success podcast episode, Joel Brown asked me to break down four ways that you can master your own magnetic confidence so that you can create the results you want and live a life in alignment with who you are.

This is a postscript and addition to everything that was discussed in the episode. We hope you enjoy!

1. FACE THE UGLY: Shine Light On The Darkness

Everyone and their mom is talking about positivity and being positive. Now look, I’m all for positivity. I love it. However, what I am seeing is more and more people trying to be positive prematurely. They are painting over their pain with positivity. While this may work in the moment, the underlying issue is not being dealt with so it will keep resurfacing every time it is triggered. What we resist, persists. Plus, when we paint over, repress or sweep things under the rug, we are adding to the darkness within us because secrecy breeds shame.

The only way to overcome our darkness is to shine light on it. Don’t shove it down, hide it, repress it or judge it. See it, accept it and embrace it so that you can move through it.

Look, everyone has a dark side and a light side. This is what makes us human. We must learn to see the beauty in the contrast and channel our dark energy into light. The more we resist this darkness, the more it will build inside of us. We must embrace these parts of us so that we can transform our pain into our power.

2. F*^K WHAT PEOPLE THINK: You Do You, Boo

#FACT: People will judge you.

Ashley Hannawacker in Bali

The quicker you can make peace with the fact that judgement is inevitable, the less it’s going to affect you. The greatest leaders on this planet have judgers, nay-sayers and haters. And guess what? The reason they are great leaders is because they don’t let those judgements or the fear of judgement stop them.

I’m also going to challenge you on something. You ready for this?

It’s not the judgment you’re afraid of. You’re scared of what the judgements might mean about you. You’re making it mean things like “I’m not worthy”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, etc. Well, do you want to know the good news? You are in charge of the meaning! So why not make judgement mean something that actually forwards you? For me, I let the number of haters be a gauge of my success and how big of a game I’m playing. The more haters I have, the more I know I’m showing up unapologetically in my power and in my truth. This meaning I’ve created forwards me. What meaning can you create?

If you want to be confident, you must reinterpret and shift your relationship with judgement and haters in a way that empowers you. You must let the rude, mean comments drip off of your back like water. You’ve got to let it all push you forward instead of hold you back. Remember: magnetic confidence will make you polarizing. This means there will be people who don’t agree with you, dislike you, and may even hate you… and that’s more than O.K., that’s GREAT.

3. SHIFT THE STORY: Rewrite Your Stories, Rewire Your Mind

You are the sole, uncontested author of your life. You are not a victim. You haven’t been dealt a crappy deck of cards. You have actually been given a very precious gift called life where you have the ability to write your own story and create your own reality.

We are meaning-making machines. We create meanings and stories for just about everything that occurs in our lives. The question is, are the stories you are telling yourself empowering you or disempowering you?

When I find myself thinking something that’s draining my energy and doesn’t feel good, I’ll ask myself: “Can I 100% know that that’s true?” And if the answer is no, then I choose a different story that is also not 100% true, but that actually makes me feel good.

If you’re going to create a story, you might as well create one that feels good and empowers you!

In the episode, I go into a bit more detail on how to do this. I highly recommend you listen because this is a crucial part of becoming your most magnetically confident self.

Ashley Hannawacker Speaking

4. WATCH YOUR WORDS: Eliminate These From Your Vocabulary Now

It’s one thing to think something disempowering, it is another to actually say it out loud. When you think a thought out loud, you are giving energy to the thought. We must be deliberate and intentional about what we choose to give energy to. Your words become worlds!

Here are some words to eliminate from your vocabulary immediately:

  • “Can’t”
  • “Have to”
  • “Should”
  • “Hope”
  • “Try”

Listen to the full episode at the top of this article to understand why these words are detrimental to your confidence and success. You’ll also learn what you can replace them with that will actually fuel you and boost your self confidence.

If you enjoyed this episode and blog post or if you have anything to add, please leave a comment below.

RESOURCES:
Ashley Hann’s Website

Connect with me on Instagram @ashley.hann

Here is my YouTube channel if you would like to watch my weekly videos.

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Success Advice

How to Be a Selfless Leader in Your Business

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Leaders are required to make decisions daily that impact the success of the business and its bottom line. Understanding leadership training key terms can offer insight into core values and principles associated with leading people. Leadership training prepares leaders to recognize a variety of leadership styles prevalent in many organizations, the significance of communication, team building, and establishing a vision.

The following 6 key terms are important to building foundational skills in leadership:

1. Leadership style

Leadership style is the process of exploring the methods leaders use to approach guiding human capital in the workplace or on organized projects. It can encompass persuasive presentation skills that inspires trust, integrity, character, positive role modeling and other behaviors useful when working towards a goal.

2. Vision planning

According to leadership experts, a vision is an idealized picture or snapshot of the future, and vision planning is the ability to communicate core values and articulate a sense of direction by implementing a plan as it pertains to this vision. Organizational vision encompasses a strategic plan that generates motivational impact and leads employees to a specific outcome or shared desired goal.

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.” – John Maxwell

3. Team building

Team building is the method a leader chooses to empower a group of people using motivational strategies and guidance to accomplish a specific task. Effective team building must encompass an understanding of organizational culture and the dynamics of teamwork in order to exceed shared goals and objectives.

4. Communication

Communication is the ability to impart and exchange information through the process of listening, writing and speaking. Successful leaders understand that enhancing communication skills not only makes them more effective as leaders, but boosts the company’s success as well.

5. Performance evaluation

An important aspect of leadership training is determining whether the steps taken towards a goal are working. One of the many roles of a successful leader is to appraise or assess the effectiveness of both individual and collective workplace skills and strategies to achieve stated goals.

“A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better.” – Jim Rohn

6. Decision making

The term decision making is the process of choosing from several ideas or choices. It’s the practice of targeted determinations that can offer creative problem solving solutions. This is a vital skill in developing potential leaders because it strengthens the use of critical thinking and resourcefulness to make choices on behalf of the company.

How to be a selfless leader in your business organization

Many leaders try to play it safe when leading their business. In other words, they don’t really lead. They are afraid of taking risks and possibly making some people unhappy. It’s important to note that when you own a business, you may make decisions that won’t make everyone happy. Ideally, your culture will be set up so that what you do is transparent and enables people to speak up and share their concerns.

At the same time, people in an organization want their leaders to lead and part of that involves the leader making a passionate commitment to the direction the business needs to go in. When there isn’t clear leadership in a business, then the business is like a ship that is moving in a circle. It’s going nowhere.

A leader must always make it clear that what they are doing is actually serving the best interests of the business as opposed to their own best interests. If people in the organization think that a leader is abusing their position, it can create a toxic situation in the business bringing it down as people leave or sabotage the business.

A leader must be selfless, focused on what will truly benefit the business and the people in it. They must be willing to share the spotlight, instead of taking all the credit and must recognize the value of trusting the talents of the people they work with.

Recently, I was talking with a client of mine. He was having some personnel issues, and I suggested he carefully evaluate the talents of each person involved. After doing that, he made some changes in roles, and the people involved were much happier because they were doing the work that capitalized on their talents.

Throughout this process he was transparent and he made it clear that the changes he was making were for the benefit of the company. Each person involved saw that because the leader was honest and focused on the success of the business. He wasn’t making changes to make it easier for him, but rather making changes that would really help the business succeed. That’s the kind of leadership that is needed when a business undergoes changes or needs to focus on a specific direction.

What does being a selfless leader mean to you? How do you focus on the welfare of your business and show that to the people involved in the business? Share with us below!

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Success Advice

Things You Need to Know to Succeed as a Life Coach

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Becoming a life coach is one of the biggest choices you will ever make. Your choice in this field will change how you treat your spouse, how you empathize with others, and how you manage your business.

When I decided to make life coaching my goal, I had many steps to take before I reached the finish line and I wasn’t quite sure how to motivate myself to get there. I know that I am not the only one who struggles with staying motivated. That’s why I’m sharing with you the secrets that helped me make my dreams a reality.

Dan Sullivan is the founder of The Strategic Coach, a company that helps entrepreneurs grow their businesses. Dan is often considered to be the number one entrepreneurship coach on the planet. If there is anyone who can motivate you to make your dreams a reality and go for gold – it’s him.

Here are the 2 life-changing ideas I learned about becoming a life coach:

1. Keep Selling Yourself

Don’t sell yourself short – but keep selling yourself on your future. Dan Sullivan suggests that the reason why we, as entrepreneurs, can’t focus on achieving our goals is that we haven’t actually sold ourselves on our project or endeavor. I believe this wholeheartedly. We may have listed our pros and cons, we have an ideal outcome, and we may even have a backup plan – but we haven’t truly committed to our goal.

In order to properly take advantage of an opportunity, we must be focused. There is no doubt that we live in a new age of multi-tasking. We watch videos while we respond to e-mails, we’re glued to our phones when we’re out on dates with our spouses – we even have the option to have two multi-tasking windows open on our smart devices so that we can do different things at the same time.

But studies show multitasking accomplishes less in the long-run. Multitasking reduces both our performance and efficiency. Dan suggests instead of trying to do everything at once, sell yourself on three tasks a day. The next day, sell yourself on three more. This will help you to have more focus and drive on what you are doing. You will accomplish more and feel better about fulfilling your goals.

2. The 3 Wins are Everything

Dan suggests that positive focus is everything when it comes to succeeding in business. That’s why he developed “The 3 Wins” mindset. After the day is done and you’re getting ready for bed, focus on three wins you had. By focusing on the three things you did right, you practice gratitude in your personal life. You set goals, reach them, and then celebrate them – no matter how small! This can help you have a more positive mindset going forward.

Dan Sullivan explains, “I would look at tomorrow… and I’d say, ‘Well these are gonna be my three biggest wins for tomorrow’. So, I would go to bed feeling good about the day, excited about the next day, and I would get up the next morning excited. So, then I would go out that day and try to have to three wins, but often times what happened is that I had wins that were bigger than the three I imagined the night before.”

The feeling of accomplishment is addictive. Not only does it feel great to get work done and accomplish our goals, but it encourages us to keep working hard in life. We work hard to grow our business, to maintain a healthy marriage, and to give our clients our best. By focusing on The 3 Wins, we view each day as a new opportunity to stay motivated and achieve something great.

How to Succeed in Becoming a Life Coach

Along with these life-changing ideas, here are some other great tips for anyone who is thinking of becoming a life coach.

1. Rapport is Essential

When you are becoming a life coach, you learn that your ability to have a rapport with your clients is just as important as the chemistry you felt with your spouse when you first started dating. Are you good at striking up a conversation? Do you have a knack for getting people to trust you or open up about their problems? If so, then you will be a natural at building your entrepreneurial business because your ability to connect with your clients is important.

2. Ask the Important Questions

As a life coach, it’s your job to ask the hard questions. This means that you must be intuitive about your client and really get to know and understand their thoughts and intentions. Only then can you help them reach their life goals.

3. Get Comfortable with Silence

Silence between two people can be the most uncomfortable, awkward, cringe-worthy experience, but as a life coach, it’s your job to let it happen anyway. When there is silence, your client will be eager to fill the void, which often leads them to show vulnerability and really work through their issues.

4. Don’t Take Things Personally

Your clients are not always going to gel with you. This may cause them to leave your services. Don’t take it personally. Alternatively, you may have a great rapport with your client, but that doesn’t always mean that they will take your advice. This can be frustrating for you, but don’t let it overwhelm you. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to continue building trust between you and your client.

You can make becoming a life coach a reality. Stay motivated by selling yourself on new ideas and strategies every day. It’s also beneficial to remind yourself of your three wins and always strive to keep growing and getting better. By becoming a life coach, you show people that you care, have an excellent rapport, and aren’t afraid of the hard questions – or the silence!

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