Life
5 Important Things Nobody Tells You About Finding Your Calling
Self-development books and personal growth blogs will scream at you to find your calling. “Do what you love,” they say. “Do what you’re passionate about,” they shout. “Follow your purpose,” they write.
They tell you to do what you love and what brings you joy. They tell you to find work that brings you alive. They ask you to do work that doesn’t feel like work – jump out bed every day – love your Mondays.
Yet, much of this advice stems from unrealistic thinking without concrete steps to guide you. Quitting your job and following your passion is a one-way ticket back home to your parents’ penthouse suite – or the basement, whatever the case may be.
Here’s 5 things the bloggers, career coaches and experts don’t tell you:
1. You don’t have to quit your job to find your calling
You can discover your calling while you’re in a job. More than likely, you’ll run into your calling when you’re doing work for a paycheck. In your day-to-day work, different interests will pull at you. You’ll stumble upon creative challenges and discover work you’re passionate about.
Spend your time focused on your job and you’ll either stumble into your passion or take inspiration from something that will lead to your calling. If you discover your calling, you can work on it before work, during lunch and over the weekends.
“To me, the American Dream is being able to follow your own personal calling. To be able to do what you want to do is incredible freedom.” – Maya Lin
2. You find your calling by taking action
You can’t sit back and theorize about what your calling is in the world. You find your calling by doing something: taking classes, talking to mentors and trying out a variety of jobs.
If you think something is your calling, the only way to do it is to try it. Don’t hypothesize and theorize about whether you were meant to do it. Start doing it and see where it takes you.
3. Not knowing what you want in your calling is critical to finding your calling
When you try new things and hate them, you still win. If you have no idea what your calling is, write down a list of everything you’ve done that’s NOT your calling.
Knowing what your calling isn’t is just as helpful as knowing what your calling is. You can eliminate, narrow down and see what’s on the table. Move away from what isn’t your calling and you’ll find yourself nearing your calling every day.
4. Your life’s pains and trials carry the seeds of your calling
Think back to your life’s biggest pains and struggles. For me, that’s an easy one: my divorce. For you, it may be a breakup, a business failure or the passing of a loved one. A seed of your calling planted itself in each defeat you’ve encountered in your life.
During your most difficult hours, you had a glimpse into your soul and the deepest life questions. During this time, you likely discovered – or found inspiration to reflect on – your calling.
“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
5. Your calling in life will require that you use your gifts
Do you know what your gift in life is? We each have a gift. You have one too, no matter what you think. You simply refuse to admit that your talent, ability or ease in doing something is a gift. Talking to people is a gift, helping people is a gift, your great smile is a gift.
Acknowledge your gift and know that your calling will require you to use your gift. If you can’t figure out your calling, figure out what your gift is. Then see how you could use your gift to make a bigger impact on the world.
Have you found out your calling? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
Life
3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning
we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)
Life
Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness
Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)
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