Life
The Best Advice I Have to Give: Be Intentional With the Tension

It is the best business advice I have to give these days. It is the best advice I have to give, PERIOD! “What would it be like to cut yourself some slack?” This isn’t about “self-care” habits. This is about the long haul. It is about you coming out of the other end of a marathon type season of life, work, relationships, and everything else.
In a moment, our world changed. Putting it mildly, every component of how we live our lives and go about our days shifted. Like a deep dive into the polar ice caps, our systems were shocked. There are constant fields of proverbial minefields and unknowns stretched out before us.
Because of all the craziness, I’d like you to do something with me. First, take a moment, pause, and put everything down. Lay down on a bed, the floor, a sofa, or on your back. Pause again. Allow yourself to get situated, settled into this moment. Take a long breath in through your nose, and push it out of your being through your mouth with the sound of “HA.” In the Yoga Therapy world we call that “falling out breath.” Repeat it a few more times.
“The nature of yoga is to shine the light of awareness into the darkest corners of the body.” – Jason Crandell
Have you felt tense lately? I’m going to ask you to bring more tension intentionally into your body. So here is what we are going to do. I’m going to tell you exactly what to do, then go get to it!
Laying down, where you are, lift your arms above your head and lay them back down behind you. Stretch your legs out in front of you, Whole body is laying down. Notice the solid surface under your being. Take your time with this, and intentionally slow it down. At the same time you are going to do three things, make sure you also:
- Stretch your fingers out behind you by creating stretch in your arms.
- Push through your feet as if you could touch the wall in front of you, which creates stretch in your legs.
- Inhale and hold your breath while holding your body in a full body stretch. Hold your breath along with your body’s position.
There are two more things for you to do:
- Release the body and breath at the same time.
- Repeat the whole thing 3-5 times.
There is so much tension in the air just as in life. For a moment, giving yourself this mindful space to intentionally bring tension into your body, control it, feel it, and then release it, releases it.
If you can’t lie down, try this exercise with just your shoulders. You can do this sitting. What you are going to do is this, raise your shoulders up to your ears as you take a breath in. Hold the breath in as you hold your shoulders up by your ears. When you are ready, exhale with a push/force and release your shoulders. They are called shoulder shrugs.
We all need things to do to release the tensions we are feeling, and these two exercises work amazingly. Don’t just take my word for it, here is some feedback from a client of mine, “On business trips I have encountered great stress with deadlines to deliver creative solutions (part of my work is analysis). Elle taught me a stretch I could do in any hotel room, lying full length on the bed. It worked – when the stress grew, I stretched – creativity regained space in my mind and the solution was delivered.” He is talking about the full body stretch.
“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” – Deepak Chopra
Take the time. Be intentional. Stretch your body while intentionally bringing tension into your body, your shoulders, hold your breath, and release.
Once you try these exercises, let us know what you think about them in the comments below!
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
Life
3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning
we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)
Life
Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness
Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)
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