Life
The Art of an Unapologetic Authentic Conversation

In a world full of filters – both literally and figuratively – the art of an authentic conversation has become endangered. Often times we find ourselves so paralyzed by opposing opinions that we feel the only respectable place to be is in neutral. It begs the question that in a world which appears to be blossoming with elevated vocality by some…are our individual voices getting lost in the mix?
From conversing with peers and team members to communication with family and loved ones, topics such as race, religion, equality and politics to name a few can easily become intense. While there is nothing wrong with opposing opinions – and arguably the confluence of them can breed great outcomes – the word “can” is important to note. How communication is delivered, how information is received and how individuals choose to respond to it all determines whether or not opposing views can co-exist.
In a divided world that is craving unity, perhaps the right next step is learning how to have compassionate and authentic conversations. We often here sentences begin with “I’m sorry, but…” followed by someone’s opinion. Whether in a personal or professional setting this literally has us apologizing before we have even finished our sentence. At what point did it become okay to feel bad for having an opinion? While how an opinion is expressed and received can certainly go haywire, simply having one should not be something that comes with shame or keeps us from being able to express our views in a respectful way.
In order to have an unapologetic authentic conversation, consider these key steps:
- Seek first to listen. Check your ego at the door and truly hear what the person is sharing – without prepping your reply.
- Seek to understand. Instead of making it about being right or wrong, ask questions that can help the person sharing educate you on how they arrived at their opinion or position.
- Seek to honor the person’s truth. What is unique and true for each person is unique and true to them. And that is ok – as your unique truth is yours as well.
Creating space to hear someone is an active practice and one that nurtures unity alongside true connection. It also breeds a judgement free zone where opposing views can live in harmony. While there may always be a degree of division between humans, we can all do our part to help minimize the destruction that can come from it. After all, it is often said that the power of one united voice will always be stronger than two divided voices.
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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