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The 3 Main Sources of All Your Excuses and How to Beat Them

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Making excuses comes from a fundamental lack of concern regarding our responsibility. It’s just like when you used to excuse yourself from the family dinner table, you were saying that you didn’t want to be obligated to do something, namely, eat your vegetables or visit with Aunt Lucy.

Excusing ourselves from the table of real life responsibilities, however, places an unnecessary burden on others and ultimately comes back to limit our own potential. When we abdicate responsibility over a long enough stretch of time we eventually short-circuit our ability to be successful.

But by understanding the root causes of our excuses and how to eliminate them, we can empower ourselves to reach our potential. Although there are a million excuses out there, the causes of each ultimately fall into three major categories. Fortunately, each has a solution.

Here are the 3 main sources of your excuses:

Source #1: Laziness

We humans really crave our comfort. Think of how many times you have come up with some reason to avoid going to the gym. Sure, once you start to develop your endurance and gain some momentum you begin to get motivated. But until then it’s easy to find excuses to not go. It’s far easier to sit at home on the couch and watch Netflix.

When we avoid things that we don’t really want to do and choose an easier option, it comes down to not seeing the value in it. We just don’t see how it’s worth it to expend the time and energy to endure the pain when an easier option exists.

We are conditioned in life to take the most comfortable route possible. Unless we see the value we just won’t commit. If we don’t see the urgency we can expect excuses to entire our lives.

This was the case for me in the past regarding planning for my future financial independence. I don’t know why, but at the time I never felt any urgency in this area. And, of course, I now regret those excuses. If only I had seen a greater value in it.

“Excuses sound best to the people makin’ them up” – Tyrese Gibson

Solution:

In order to see the value of something, we have to begin to focus on both the benefits and the consequences.  This covers the two opposite ends of the same spectrum.

In my retirement planning example, my focus on benefits might have helped me see that I would gain several things by not excusing myself from that responsibility. The first might have been that I would have a higher self-esteem for doing what I should have been doing anyway. Another might have been the ability to save up for a few nice trips when I’m done working. These are things that could have genuinely benefited me and that I could have seen the value of.

And by evaluating the possible consequences for making the excuses I might have come square-faced to the fact that I might have trouble retiring or not be able to afford some of the things that might be necessary as I begin aging more.

To beat the excuse of laziness we have to find urgency through a proper understanding of both the benefits and consequences of that which we are trying to excuse ourselves from.

Source #2: Fear

For many of us, our lives are dominated by fear. This is because we don’t see that there is anything higher than ourselves. We are self-focused.

In this kind of a state, if we are called to take on a risk whether that be financial, emotional, or even physical, we tend to throw up roadblocks in the way as excuses. In our minds, we are all there is so nothing could be so worth our harm.

But such a position brings a complete halt to our growth. We have to push through a little risk or our lives will remain stagnant. Although we might not ever entirely conquer our fear there is a way to gain the upper-hand on it and prevent it from fueling our excuses.

Solution:

Have you ever noticed how soldiers march forward in the face of impending harm with seemingly little concern for themselves? Where are their excuses to not push forward? They are overshadowed by something much bigger than them—purpose.

To overcome our fear and the excuses that go along with it we have to find a purpose that is greater than us. This takes the attention off of ourselves and onto something worth fighting for. When we have purpose in the true sense we become secondary to its fulfillment. To truly help us, this purpose can’t be about our own advancement—it must be about the service of others.

When we become other-focused in this way our values change. When we see others as more important than ourselves that is love. Who wouldn’t die for those they love?  Purpose will always eradicate the excuses that fear tries to bring us.

“Ninety-nine of the failures come from people who have  a habit of making excuses.” – George Washington Carver

Source #3: Pride

We sometimes abdicate taking responsibility for doing things because we are concerned about how our image might be affected. This is ego rearing its ugly head. This particular source of excuses comes down to how we view ourselves and how we want others to see us.

When we face the possibility that our association with something might put us in a less-than-favorable light we often avoid it. The ego is very protective of itself. It believes it is nearly perfect and it desires to keep it that way. So it seeks to excuse itself from anything that might threaten it’s image.

Did you ever have a fear of public speaking? There are surveys that report how some people would rather die than give a speech. Doesn’t that seem a little irrational? Other than falling off the stage there just isn’t any chance that a person is going to experience real harm speaking.

What people are really “afraid” of is looking bad in the eyes of others. They are experiencing the powerfully-limiting effect of pride and make excuses to avoid challenging the ego.

Solution:

To be free from the excuses that pride brings we have to eliminate the ego. This can be easier said than done. Our egos have been with us our whole lives, after all. But here is one trick that has helped me. Rather than make excuses to not do things like public speaking, try repeating this phrase to yourself: “Be real, not right.”

The least that we should expect of ourselves and others is to be authentic. But to allow ourselves to get to that point we have to be willing to be less than perfect—and that is what being real is all about. You will find that life is way more fun and people will enjoy you more as well. Remember, when your pride becomes a source of your excuses make the decision to be real, not right.

How many of your excuses come from these 3 sources? Comment below!

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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