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15 Secrets to Creating the Best Version of Yourself

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the best version of yourself

You have reached the point in your life where you want to change many things and become a better version of yourself. You are not completely satisfied with how things are going at this particular moment and you know that you can be much better. What can be done to make sure that you are becoming the better version of yourself?

Here are 15 ways to create an improved version of you:

1. Ready to start

When you decide to make changes in any sphere of your life, starting usually is one of the most difficult stages. However, to begin doing something means that the job is half done, no matter how difficult the task may be.

2. Be prepared for hard work

Yes, changing your outlook and habits that were forming for many years will not be easy. But if we do want to improve ourselves, we need to realize that a significant amount of effort will be required for a successful outcome.

3. Don’t get overwhelmed

It is great to make a decision to work on yourself and improve your life. However, the idea of doing so might be quite daunting and even seem impossible. The secret is to move in small steps in a determined direction. Along the way, you will get more experience, so you will move faster and more confidently.

4. No fear of failure

The realization that you have made a mistake sometimes is hard to accept and can be devastating. However, you must understand that a mistake is actually a good thing, as it gives you a great opportunity to shine next time, as you already know how to do it right.

5. Give up your pride

If someone is telling you that you’ve done something wrong, it might be difficult to accept those negative comments. Obviously, you want to be viewed as invincible and someone who never makes mistakes. Nonetheless, refusing to accept criticism very often means losing a chance to improve your work.

6. Get rid of unhealthy perfectionism

Striving for excellence in everything is great, but it may become an obstacle. The obsession of being the best in everything is meaningless, as we are all imperfect and sometimes good is more than enough in reaching your goal.

“I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences… I’m human, not perfect, like anybody else.” – Queen Latifah

7. Leave the job you hate

The idea of leaving a job for many might sound insane, as a refusal from a stable income seems like an unreasonable thing to do. In fact, what is unreasonable is to stick with the job you hate because of money, as time is actually the most precious currency.

8. Get rid of the toxic environment

Your decision to change yourself for the better will inevitably lead to conflicts with people from your surroundings. There might be many of those who are unhappy with you changing. They will try to drag you down to the previous state of things, so you might need to cease contact with such toxic people.

9. Take time to deal with addictions

If you want to become a better version of yourself, addiction is something that will be one of the biggest obstacles in your way. It deprives you of energy and completely changes the focus of your life. You must deal with it if you are determined to see a better you.

10. Move away from your comfort zone

The feeling of stability and security is great, but moving away from your comfort zone can bring you an immense satisfaction, as you will be able to see yourself from the unknown side. It is obviously frightening and uncomfortable, but you might unleash many amazing traits you never expected to be within you.

11. Start exercising

Yes, we all have heard it for a million times, but exercising is so important that it must be in the list of actions that can make you a better version of yourself. Regular physical activity is one of the factors that changes your mindset and makes your body healthier.

12. Do not wait for the perfect moment

Waiting for the stars to be perfectly aligned is a destructive habit. Time is finite and too precious to waste. There is a chance when you think it is the right moment that it might be too late. Do not hesitate for too long. Act.

13. Take responsibility

We might blame our surroundings and circumstances for what happens in our life. Sometimes we might be inclined to feel that someone can come and make us happy. However, it is important to realize that it is all up to us. We are in charge of our destiny and our happiness depends only on ourselves.

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln

14. Ditch the habit of trying to be in control all the time

If you have the habit as trying to control everything and everyone, you will need to get rid of it. Life is too unpredictable, so trying to be in charge of everything is meaningless and will only get in the way of your personal development.

15. Learn to be positive

Staying upbeat is by far one of the most precious habits you could ever have. Hard times might be inevitable, but the greatest solutions to a problem usually arise when you are looking at a it with a smile.

It is scary to let go of your previous habits and routines which you have become used to over the years. However, if you made a firm decision to change yourself for the better and turn your life around, nothing will stop you. We hope that with the listed ways of improving yourself you will be able to reach your goal and become the best you can be.

Which one of the 15 secrets above will you now implement everyday? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Ester Brierley is a graduate student, junior QA Engineer in software outsourcing company, an enthusiastic freelance writer. She adores researching cutting-edge trends and sharing them in her writing pieces for EssayWanted. You can follow her on Twitter.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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