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15 Secrets to Creating the Best Version of Yourself

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the best version of yourself

You have reached the point in your life where you want to change many things and become a better version of yourself. You are not completely satisfied with how things are going at this particular moment and you know that you can be much better. What can be done to make sure that you are becoming the better version of yourself?

Here are 15 ways to create an improved version of you:

1. Ready to start

When you decide to make changes in any sphere of your life, starting usually is one of the most difficult stages. However, to begin doing something means that the job is half done, no matter how difficult the task may be.

2. Be prepared for hard work

Yes, changing your outlook and habits that were forming for many years will not be easy. But if we do want to improve ourselves, we need to realize that a significant amount of effort will be required for a successful outcome.

3. Don’t get overwhelmed

It is great to make a decision to work on yourself and improve your life. However, the idea of doing so might be quite daunting and even seem impossible. The secret is to move in small steps in a determined direction. Along the way, you will get more experience, so you will move faster and more confidently.

4. No fear of failure

The realization that you have made a mistake sometimes is hard to accept and can be devastating. However, you must understand that a mistake is actually a good thing, as it gives you a great opportunity to shine next time, as you already know how to do it right.

5. Give up your pride

If someone is telling you that you’ve done something wrong, it might be difficult to accept those negative comments. Obviously, you want to be viewed as invincible and someone who never makes mistakes. Nonetheless, refusing to accept criticism very often means losing a chance to improve your work.

6. Get rid of unhealthy perfectionism

Striving for excellence in everything is great, but it may become an obstacle. The obsession of being the best in everything is meaningless, as we are all imperfect and sometimes good is more than enough in reaching your goal.

“I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences… I’m human, not perfect, like anybody else.” – Queen Latifah

7. Leave the job you hate

The idea of leaving a job for many might sound insane, as a refusal from a stable income seems like an unreasonable thing to do. In fact, what is unreasonable is to stick with the job you hate because of money, as time is actually the most precious currency.

8. Get rid of the toxic environment

Your decision to change yourself for the better will inevitably lead to conflicts with people from your surroundings. There might be many of those who are unhappy with you changing. They will try to drag you down to the previous state of things, so you might need to cease contact with such toxic people.

9. Take time to deal with addictions

If you want to become a better version of yourself, addiction is something that will be one of the biggest obstacles in your way. It deprives you of energy and completely changes the focus of your life. You must deal with it if you are determined to see a better you.

10. Move away from your comfort zone

The feeling of stability and security is great, but moving away from your comfort zone can bring you an immense satisfaction, as you will be able to see yourself from the unknown side. It is obviously frightening and uncomfortable, but you might unleash many amazing traits you never expected to be within you.

11. Start exercising

Yes, we all have heard it for a million times, but exercising is so important that it must be in the list of actions that can make you a better version of yourself. Regular physical activity is one of the factors that changes your mindset and makes your body healthier.

12. Do not wait for the perfect moment

Waiting for the stars to be perfectly aligned is a destructive habit. Time is finite and too precious to waste. There is a chance when you think it is the right moment that it might be too late. Do not hesitate for too long. Act.

13. Take responsibility

We might blame our surroundings and circumstances for what happens in our life. Sometimes we might be inclined to feel that someone can come and make us happy. However, it is important to realize that it is all up to us. We are in charge of our destiny and our happiness depends only on ourselves.

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln

14. Ditch the habit of trying to be in control all the time

If you have the habit as trying to control everything and everyone, you will need to get rid of it. Life is too unpredictable, so trying to be in charge of everything is meaningless and will only get in the way of your personal development.

15. Learn to be positive

Staying upbeat is by far one of the most precious habits you could ever have. Hard times might be inevitable, but the greatest solutions to a problem usually arise when you are looking at a it with a smile.

It is scary to let go of your previous habits and routines which you have become used to over the years. However, if you made a firm decision to change yourself for the better and turn your life around, nothing will stop you. We hope that with the listed ways of improving yourself you will be able to reach your goal and become the best you can be.

Which one of the 15 secrets above will you now implement everyday? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Ester Brierley is a graduate student, junior QA Engineer in software outsourcing company, an enthusiastic freelance writer. She adores researching cutting-edge trends and sharing them in her writing pieces for EssayWanted. You can follow her on Twitter.

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Nigel Ikechukwu

    Nov 11, 2017 at 9:16 am

    Wow.. Awesome post Ester. I recently wrote a similar article titled “10 Reasons why you still suffer” on my personal blog. Ester

    I hope to see more of your articles for addicted2success.

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Life

Why Do We Have An Unconscious Bias and How Can We Manage It?

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When I hear someone using my name once in a while throughout the conversation we are having, I cannot stop myself thinking “this person must have read Dale Carnegie’s books or must have been influenced by someone who read them…” Have you just recalled a similar moment and it felt nice?

As Dale Carnegie famously said, “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and the most important sound in any language”. Why did Dale Carnegie highlight the importance of an individual’s name to that person in his “How to Win Friends and Influence People” book published in 1936?

Each and every one of us wants to feel special and unique. I guess he recommends using the person’s name in the conversation because that is one of the easiest ways to grab that person’s attention so that we can enhance the chances of getting our point across. However, I am more interested in this from the other side; hearing our names directly addresses our individuality, our need or desire to feel special and unique.  

Let’s park this one for now and we will come back. 

Categorization is essential to our survival

There is countless scientific research telling us about how our brains recognize similarities and put things into categories, which has been crucial to our survival in evolution and still helps us with a lot of things from learning new things to coping with the continuous influx of massive amounts of information through our senses. 

The continuous influx of information is mostly handled by our subconscious mind rather than conscious. It is estimated that our brains receive about 11 million bits of information every second through our senses, of which only 40-50 bits can be processed by our conscious mind. We process more information than we are aware of. The magic here is the subconscious mind.

An example is when you are at a very loud party where you hear a lot of words flying around without you recognizing each one of them, then suddenly, you immediately catch it when you hear your name. Your subconscious had been processing all of those words, without your awareness, but informed your conscious mind when your name was out there because it was relevant to you.

In order to most effectively process this much information and inform the conscious mind with only the relevant ones, our subconscious employs categorization as one of its strategies.

When our ancestors encountered some deadly predators in the African savanna, their subconscious prompted their conscious mind to immediately fight or flight by categorizing the information gathered through their senses into “predator / life threat / take action”. Most probably we are not descendants of the ones that were frozen rather than fighting or flighting! 

Although it is a completely different situation, the same strategy applied in remembering lists. Let’s look at the below two lists.

  1. lion, eagle, shark, leopard, hawk, whale, panther, falcon and dolphin 
  2. lion, leopard, panther, eagle, hawk, falcon, shark, whale and dolphin

The second list is easy to remember because it is reordered into relevant groups even though the content of the both lists are identical.

Subconsciousness is the magic and categorization is one of its key strategies. It is essential to our survival, learning new skills and processing information as well as bringing back the information we had processed and stored. 

This amazing skill has its drawbacks

As a result of our brains’ categorization strategy, we also categorize people, especially if we don’t know them as well as our closest ones.

Imagine I am sitting at the table next to yours while you are having your favorite coffee and working on your computer or reading your novel at your neighborhood coffee shop. I stand up, very calmly grab your bag, and start walking away. Your reaction might be quite different depending on my outfit. It could be much more vocal and harsh if I have a dirty T-Shirt and a pair of torn jeans on. However, if I have some navy colored, 3-piece suit and well-pressed white button up shirt on, you might even say something like “Excuse me, you might have picked up my bag by mistake”. (There is an experiment done by social psychologists which reported similar results)

Similarly, I would not be surprised to hear that my co-worker’s spouse is very skilled and knowledgeable in English grammar and literature because he is an English teacher. However, I would not expect it from my co-worker herself because she is an outstanding chemical engineer.  

This is defined as unconscious bias or stereotyping, as a result of our subconscious brain’s categorization strategy. The outfit I have at the coffee shop impacts your response to my action, because it puts me into a different category in your mind depending on my outfit. My co-worker’s and her spouse’s backgrounds make me put them into different categories, which might mislead me sometimes.

Just like we categorize things, it is very natural that we categorize people.  

The key question here for me is; how do we truly treat people as individuals so that they feel unique, just like as they would want, while we know that our brains categorize people

We can overcome unconscious bias 

Leonard Mlodinow, in his enlightening book “Subliminal”, suggests that “if we are aware of our bias and motivated to overcome it, we can.” That doesn’t mean that we need to fight our brain’s categorization strategy. We just need to employ our conscious mind more when we are working or dealing with individuals. 

Our unconscious bias might tell us scientists are bunch of technical nerds who cannot understand abstract concepts that marketers are talking about or it might say that marketers are some daydreamers who need to be grounded by scientists to the real world all the time. I am an engineer and I love thinking in abstract terms and I worked with quite a lot of marketers who thought primarily in factual and concrete terms. 

Spending some effort to learn more about individuals will help overcome unconscious bias. Gathering more information and qualities about them will make it easier for us to treat them as individuals rather than a member of the category we put them in our minds. 

The moral of the story here is to recognize the fact that our brains do categorize, and it is essential; but also, to recognize that every individual wants to feel unique. When we appreciate these two and keep reminding them to ourselves, we are one step closer to figuring out our own way to overcome unconscious bias and treat people more like individuals. 

What was the most interesting part of this article for you? Share your thoughts below!

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Life

The Problem Is Not Actually the Problem: Here’s Why

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With my understanding of the Three Principles, which is deepening month-by-month, I’m becoming more curious about whether the ‘problem’ that we think we have, is really a problem. Not for one second am I dismissing a persons’ experience; I’m human after all and I encounter challenges and what I think are ‘problems’ just like the next person. (more…)

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5 Things You Can Do to Fend off Boredom and Stay Focused

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Curiosity is human nature and it’s only natural that humans will lose interest in a topic after a while. This has been a topic that has been extensively explored among children, teenagers and adults by a psychologist with similar results being reported from each of the categories. Human’s minds are therefore prone to boredom, making it important for each professional to spend some time to understand the factors that drive boredom and strategies the individuals needs to use to overcome boredom and focus on their profession and development. (more…)

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Life

Decision and Failure: Deciding That Failure is Not an Option

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Nobody likes wasting time, money or opportunities by making a bad business decision. We can certainly identify what “bad” looks and feels like, however we should be identifying what the “win” looks like too. Too often we focus on the bad, which puts us in victim mode that perpetuates a scarcity mindset which leads us directly into becoming frozen or stuck. (more…)

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