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Talking to Yourself Doesn’t Make You Crazy. In Fact, It Can Actually Change Your Life




There is something interesting that happens inside your brain when you ask yourself a question: your brain has to answer. Try it now, ask yourself “what is the color of the outside of the building I live in?” and say it out loud. Your brain has a need to answer you when you ask it a question.

Ever since we were kids, we were taught that talking to ourselves makes us crazy. Studies show today that it is very healthy and helpful to talk to ourselves. As children we repeated things to ourselves to learn, and as adults we repeat things to ourselves to remember them.

What if talking to yourself and asking yourself questions could unlock who you are and ultimately save your life?

I think we are all a little lost. Even the people who “have it all together” are lost. It’s not a bad thing to be lost though. There is great humility in admitting you are lost. When you admit you do not know everything you open the door to infinite learning possibilities.

We are all searching for something in life. We search for love, the best workout tips, the best business hacks, the best recipes, the latest how-to’s, and most times we search for ourselves. Everyone is looking for something at all times, and if you break down why you are searching, the answers may baffle you.

There is a specific way to talk to yourself that could do you so much good.

There is a very common and well-known way to talk to ourselves that most people chalk up to ‘something only teenage girls do’. There is a reason that teenage girls do it, psychologists recommend it, and a lot of people are afraid to do it: it unlocks things inside of you. There are times we don’t want to face ourselves and we are afraid to look into the mirror, this will help you do exactly that.

I’m sure you are very curious now what I am referring to. I am talking about journaling. Yes, get a diary. This is a way that you can talk to yourself and find all of the answers you need within yourself. 

There is a specific way of journaling too, it consists of 4 things: I want. I feel. I need. Gratitude. These four things, when put in a journal daily, can help you to unlock things about yourself that you may be afraid to face. Facing yourself will ultimately help you overcome any issue you have going on.

“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.” – Christina Baldwin

I want

Journaling daily about the things that you want can help you to focus on the positives in your life. You are able to be open with yourself and confront the things in your life that you are craving and may be lacking. If you don’t know what you want, just ask yourself “What do I want?”

I feel

Sometimes it is hard to be honest about the things we are feeling. Today’s society is still very big on the ‘suck it up’ sort of mentality. Yes, it is important to be strong and move on, however it is just as important to be open about the things you are struggling with emotionally. You are talking to yourself so no need to worry about judgment.

I need

We seem to forget the things we need in our lives when we focus on what we don’t need. Don’t focus on the things you don’t need surrounding you, focus on what your life is lacking. When you focus on what you are lacking you are able to begin looking on how to fill those voids in a healthy way.

“The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.” – David Hare


It is important to be grateful daily. Especially to find ways to be grateful for the difficult things in your life. For example: I am grateful that I was stuck in traffic today for 2 hours. It means that there is that many people who have jobs and can provide for their families. It also gave me a chance to finish my audio book today. Find ways to be grateful for the things that are hard to be grateful for and it can change your life.

Any barrier you may have in your life, no matter how tough it may be, you have the power to overcome it. No matter how hard it may seem, facing yourself and talking yourself through it can help you to unlock hidden potential you didn’t know you had so journal daily.

Do you journal? If so, how has it helped your life improve? Let us know by leaving a comment below!

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Stephen Dela Cruz is a best selling author, speaker and serial entrepreneur who specializes in helping budding entrepreneurs double their income in their first year. He’s built several 7 figure businesses and in his online school, The Mastermind Experience, he shares strategies around time and money management to help beginning entrepreneurs soar. You can see more about Stephen on his website and follow him on his Facebook page.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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