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The Life Truths That Will Reshape Your Future In A Moment

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1. The truth is not elegant

Ever wonder why I swear, use the word “loser,” and am blunt or direct? It’s because the truth is not elegant. I’m not trying to impress you; I’m trying to interrupt your pattern. Change is not easy and so if I talk to you in a quiet, polite voice, you’re not going to move your ass into action.

“Stop trying to be polite and elegant all the time because the only person you need to impress is yourself”

2. Tap into what you already have

Most of what you want to achieve in your life can already be found within yourself. You already have most of what is needed to be successful. The art is figuring out how to tap into your already unlimited potential. Rather than trying to become something you are not, get comfortable with who you are.

3. Write stuff down

Your retention rate increases by 40%-50% if you write stuff down. Rather than sit passively and listen, take notes and write stuff down. Even if you know the content you are hearing already, still write it down. Repetition is the mother of skill.

Hearing the same content said a hundred different ways makes you ten times stronger and more intelligent. Eventually, one of those ways will be said in such a way that you can process the idea and use it in your own life.

4. Energy makes you beautiful

Ever wondered how people who don’t appear to be physically beautiful can still date the most attractive partners? It’s called energy. These unique individuals give off an energy that is so beautiful and infectious that they attract the opposite sex despite the way they may look. It’s not all about looks you know.

5. Energy comes from the way you move your body

The single most important thing to create energy in your body is movement. The way you move your body can help to increase your energy levels. Become conscious of how you stand. Realize that you can flick a switch at any moment and become crazy and outrageous. Try this:

– Do star jumps
– Play your favorite song on your phone and sing out loud
– Jump on a trampoline for five minutes

These little acts of movement will completely change your energy within minutes. Don’t tell me you can’t change your energy because you can.

For added energy watch what you eat and get plenty of sleep. Common sense if you ask me.

6. The truth is uncomfortable

I recently admitted to myself that I was sabotaging my success with thoughts like “I’m not enough.” It hurts to know the truth and it’s uncomfortable. Once you can move past this, you can make the real changes required. Stop softening the truth or avoiding it.

7. Pain can either drive you or destroy you

Pain is a double-edged sword, my friends. It can drive you to make a change and take your life to the next level or it can destroy you and cause suffering. How would you like to use pain? I choose to let pain drive me which is why I freaking love it!

8. You are here for emotion

There’s a reason you attend events, concerts and seminars; you are searching for emotion. We crave emotion in everyday life and these places allow us to embrace emotion. You get to feel emotions of joy, happiness and inspiration. You do things to experience emotion.

9. More than five hours on social media means you are depressed

Are you on social media for five hours or more? If you are, studies show you are depressed. It turns out that social media forces us into a state of comparing our lives to everyone else’s. This process makes us incredibly depressed. Stopped being consumed by social media. Create instead.

10. Most people don’t do well. Focus on those who do.

A lot of people don’t do very well at life. The one’s who do good at life are rare and you should focus your time understanding why that is. You can learn so much from these amazing individuals.

11. Great humans have had the toughest lives

All those extraordinary people that you admire all had the toughest lives. Having a really tough life is what will give you the drive and that’s what the great humans you admire understand. Your tough life is your biggest asset if you will let it be.

“Embrace the toughness. Use the pain to drive you”

12. Blaming only screws you

When you blame the environment, your workplace, the economy, your doctor, your parents, your spouse or anything for that matter, you are only screwing yourself. Blaming takes the responsibility away from you and transfers it to an innocent third party.

Turn blame into gratitude and you’ll see a real life miracle. Stop wanting everything and everyone to be perfect because they’ll never meet your expectations. Everyone’s expectations are different.

13. Information without emotion is forgotten

Where were you on September 11th 2001? I bet you can remember exactly where you were. The reason you remember is because you consumed the events of that day while enduring an extreme level of emotion. That place and time will never be forgotten because of that emotion.

The same goes for learning. Introduce emotion into the learning environment and the retention rate goes up significantly.

14. Freedom happens when you take back control

Want to be free again? Take back control. Stop letting events control you and give these same events an empowering meaning. You can only be free when you get out of your head and lead with your heart again. Being free feels so good so give yourself that gift. The decision is yours.

15. The ultimate resource is emotion

If I were to identify the one resource that you have to achieve anything it would be your emotions. Your emotions can drive you to commit suicide or marry the love of your life. You choose your emotions and the one’s you will use moment to moment.

If a negative emotion starts to come through, break the pattern. Escape the moment and go to your happy place. Remember something that makes you appreciate who you are and what you have.

16. Fear Vs Desire

It can be said that life is a dance between your fears and your desires. Get the balance right and you take back control. Get the balance wrong and you’re guaranteed to suffer.

17. Do more for others than anybody else

Why do millions of people listen to what I say every day? They listen because I do more for them than anybody else in a similar position to me. I genuinely care and I make it about everybody else, not about me.

“Find more ways to give more rather than trying to be someone you are not to impress people”

18. The most important skill is influence

If I could give you one skill to master its influence. Influence makes you a leader and it means you have the trust of the people. When people trust you, you can inspire them to take action.

You can’t influence someone though unless you first know what influences them. Where people get it wrong is that what influences you, is very different to how everyone else is influenced. Understand the driving force behind the person you are trying to influence and then they will take action.

Inspiring people to take action and make a change is one of the most fulfilling things you can ever achieve. It’s what I attempt to do every day and I love it.

19. When you reach your best, there’s always another level

Have you ever achieved a level of success and then discovered you could actually go further? This happens because when you get to the top, there’s always another level.

There’s always further to go and the journey never ends. It’s for this reason that you need to stop and smell the roses once in a while. Otherwise, you’ll never appreciate how far you’ve come. Be present once in a while and focus on the progress you’ve made. You have come much further than you realize. Enjoy it!

20. Don’t wait to laugh

It’s so easy for us to delay gratification. If something is funny, then laugh about it now. Don’t say “someday we’ll laugh about this.” Every time you delay, you will forget. Your brain has enough to think about already. Laughing right now is one of the best things you can do. Shall we try it?

21. Your brain is designed to make you survive

We find it hard to be happy because we rely on our brain which only knows how to make us survive. Your happiness comes from within. The moment you ask your brain a question, all it knows how to do is look for what is wrong and then highlight that fact to you, so you avoid harms way.

22. Our reasons for feeling lousy don’t need to be big

Ever wondered why it’s so easy to feel lousy? It’s because we only need small reasons to feel like crap. We’re experts in letting things like people, annoying habits or someone stealing our car spot ruin our day. We’ve become entitled and overly sensitive to all the wrong things. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Shake it off. Change your state!

23. New results require new actions

If you don’t like your results, then take some new actions. Sounds simplistic and that’s because it is. Try something you haven’t done before and you’ll quickly find a new way of getting different results.

24. What you focus on is what you’ll physically feel

If you focus on your other half cheating on you, then you’ll physically feel it. What we focus on, is what we feel throughout our body. Our body can’t tell the difference between what you are thinking a lot of the time and what is happening in the real world.

There’s heaps of power in this truth and you can feel good feelings or negative ones depending on what you focus on.

If you focus too much on what you’re missing, you’ll become messed up.

If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll feel depressed.

If you focus on the past too much, you’ll feel dreadful.

25. Do what you did in the beginning at the end

If any type of relationship you have is coming to an end, do what you did in the beginning. At the start you are always more inspired and full of energy. Once you get to know someone, it’s easy to let these positive emotions disappear.

Always do the nice things you do in the beginning and there will never be an end to a relationship. The difference is that at the start of a relationship, you are not evaluating what you are getting and you’re focused on giving. Interesting huh?

26. Absolute certainty has power

Ever met someone who is at the top of their game? You’ll notice they have absolute certainty about who they are and their goals. Certainty gives you power in an uncertain world where everyone is running around scared from all the bad news that’s so easy to find.

27. Complexity is the enemy of execution

If you are failing to execute it’s because you are surrounded in complexity. Simple things are easy to take action on. Whatever you create in this lifetime, keep it simple. The simpler something is, the more people you can reach, inspire and transform.

“It’s one hundred times harder to make something simple than it is to be complex and long-winded”

28. Money doesn’t change people it magnifies who you are

If you are a tight ass before you make your millions, then you’ll be a tight ass when you are rich. Money doesn’t change you; it just shows more of who you are in greater detail.

Focus on becoming a phenomenal person when you’re not rich and then when you are, you’ll magnify all of your good traits, to give more to the world. What you give is what will make you fulfilled.

29. Happy people are rare

In fact, there are quite a few billionaires and more are being created every day. What’s rare are people from the past who are truly happy like the Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa.

30. What’s wrong is available and so is what’s right

You can access what’s right and what’s wrong simultaneously. Make the smart choice and choose the good from every situation. It takes more discipline to choose what’s right, but you’ll be ten times more powerful if you do.

31. You can’t eliminate suffering altogether

The myth that we can avoid suffering is total BS. Suffering is guaranteed, but it gives us so much valuable motivation. It shows us what we don’t want, so we can have more of what we do want.

“Suffering can take us to the lowest point in our life and then help us to go all the way to the top again”

32. Move from suffering to appreciation

Suffering is caused by obsessing about ourselves too much. When we focus too much on ourselves, we go into the mind, which causes us to suffer. Our mind wants to help us find what is wrong. You know you are triggering a state of suffering when you use one of these three words:

1. Loss
2. Less
3. Never

When you appreciate and enjoy things, this focus takes your mind off looking for what’s wrong. You can also end suffering by growing more, loving more, giving more and being grateful.

When you end suffering, you’ll find that you become a light for others. Ending suffering causes everyone to want to be around you. I’d say that’s pretty good motivation right there.

33. It’s all small stuff

Have you heard the saying “don’t sweat the small stuff?” Guess what? Everything you sweat about is the small stuff. Remember that next time you feel yourself worrying about anything at all.

34. Negative thoughts are patterns

All a negative thought is, is a pattern you’ve been running for years without even realizing it. You do not own this negative thought because you’ll pretty quickly find out that everyone around you has the same negative thought.

If you start to own a negative thought as your own, then you are screwed. Your problems are not unique and are shared by everyone. Remember that the next time you think that your thoughts are unique to you and no one else can understand them.

Start becoming curious about your negative thoughts and that will change your life. Being curious allows you to become consciously aware and to kill these negative thoughts.

35. If there’s a way out you’ll revert to the past

This is why having a plan b is not a good idea. Only having one option forces you to succeed and to find a way when all hope seems lost.

“Burn the boats so you’re forced to take the island”

36. The mind looks for what’s wrong

Your negative thoughts are like small monsters that you can kill early on when they don’t have any real size. The best way to kill negative thoughts is to label them the moment they appear. Label your negative thoughts with words like silly, disempowering, untrue etc.

37. Trade your expectations for appreciation

That’s when your life will transform.

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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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