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4 Ways The Power of Your Personal Story Can Enhance Your Life

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Storytelling can change your life

What’s in a story? Life lessons, perhaps, maybe even actionable insight and takeaways. How about jealousy? Maybe even a dash of disdain, anger, and feeling of inadequacy.

Ah, a feeling of inadequacy. Now there’s something we can all identify with. You see, we, as humans, have an innate character trait where we overvalue the success of other people, and simultaneously undervalue our own success.

Wow, she’s so amazing, I’ll never be able to compare, we often tell ourselves. I can’t believe he’s achieved so much at such a young age, we lament in silence.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret: They’re thinking the same thing about you. You see, it’s a classic case of the grass is always greener, but in this scenario, it’s not the greenery that you long for, but rather the chance to live someone else’s life. Or, at least live your perception of their life, because in reality you have no clue what’s going on inside.

And there’s the issue! Outwardly, everyone’s life seems great, and you’re judging their outward appearance against your inner demons. However, that person you idealize, well, they’re comparing their inner demons to your outward appearance.

The fact of the matter is that there is amazing power in your personal story. The downside to that fact is often only other people can see that power. So, in order to increase our success mindset, we have to believe, truly believe, that our story and journey is one of high value. 

Here are 4 ways your story can change your life:

1. Increase your confidence

If you believe in the value of your life’s story it will naturally increase your confidence level. The problem is that we need confidence in order to believe our journey is worthy of the people we hold in high esteem.

To overcome this obstacle and place confident value on your story, it takes dedicated self-reflection. Think about it this way: believe it or not, you’ve accumulated a unique set of skills and experiences over the years. It’s unique because no one, I mean no one, has the specific life mosaic that you have. Which means, no matter what, you have a skill set that is both uncommon and needed.

So, it’s important that we reflect on our life’s journey up to this point. By doing so, we can identify key experiences that propelled us forward with skills and learning. So take stock of your personal story and have confidence! Chances are there are hidden skills that you’ll uncover, increasing your personal value.

“The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon.” – Brandon Sanderson

2. Identify new areas of opportunity

Through self-reflection, not only will you uncover skills and experience you should be proud of, but you’ll also identify areas of opportunity. With your increased confidence level you’ll start to see these areas not as deficiencies but rather as chances for personal growth.

Then, you’ll realize that your personal story up to this point has been one for the record books, and you’ll realize that if you keep striving to get better, your personal story will only grow in power. And who’s to say that isn’t the biggest confidence booster of all?

So, by believing in the power of your personal story, and identifying areas where you’ve excelled as well as areas where you can further improve, it will make your life journey more valuable to yourself and the people around you. And when it comes to your personal power, value both internal and external, is the biggest factor of all.

 

3. Seek new experiences

The identification of future opportunity will naturally cause you to seek new experiences. When you think about someone’s story, what’s most important? Well, a captivating tale, of course! And how can you have an interesting and insightful story without interesting and insightful experiences to draw upon? I’ll let you in on a secret: you can’t.

If you want to maintain and increase the power of your personal story and therefore the value of your life, you need to seek new experiences. It’s imperative. Because in a sense, it’s these new experiences that will provide you with the skills that are uncovered during self-reflection, increasing your confidence level. Then, the same reflection will show you areas in your life where you can improve.

“A brand is a stor that is always being told.” – Scott Bedbury

4. Connect with stimulating people

Now, stimulating experiences are normally stimulating because of the people you share them with. And when you meet invigorating people, it naturally increases the value of your life, adding layers to your personal story.

Have you ever heard that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with? Well, it’s true, and if you start to believe in your personal power, you’ll have the ability to connect with increasingly impactful people. Through this belief, you’ll feel competent hanging in the big leagues. Think of it this way: If you believe yourself to be valuable, you’ll naturally attract people of higher value.

And then what? Well, at this point, as you’re cage diving with great whites or as you’re scheming your next business idea with new friends, you’ll realize that your personal story has immense power and value. It will feel amazing, let me tell you.

And then what after that? Well, the cycle repeats itself, of course! Emotions will always ebb and flow, and even at your highest level of self-confidence, you’ll feel natural levels of self-doubt. You’ll second guess your personal story. When this happens, all it takes is dedicated self-reflection, and you’ll be put right back on the track of personal growth. And if that’s not the beginning of a powerful tale, I don’t know what is.

How has the power of your story changed your life? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

 

Evan Tarver is an author and business owner with experience in the technology sector, and is a self-proclaimed "business nerd." He’s also a spirited writer who contributes nonfiction business articles to various online publications and pens full-length novels found on Amazon and other leading retailers. Connect with him at www.evantarver.com and receive the first two chapters of his new novel - a parable about passion and purpose, for free: Life in Twenty-Something: A Story of Self-Discovery

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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