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How to Take Control of Your Internal Dialogue So You Can Live a Life of Purpose

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On a downtown bus, just as it is pulling in to its next stop, a woman stands up, slaps the face of the man next to her, and hurries to the exit. Each passenger who saw what happened reacts in their own way. 

  • A middle-aged man feels sad for the man who was slapped. 
  • A younger woman is frightened. 
  • A teenage boy is angry. 
  • Another woman feels excited. 

How could the same event trigger such an array of varying emotions? The answer is found in self-talk.

Self-talk is the internal dialogue that goes on inside you throughout each day. I imagine you’ve caught yourself having these inner-conversations from time-to-time. Sometimes they are positive, as you dream of a new future.

Oftentimes they are not so positive. Maybe you’ve had one of these negative conversations already today: deciding it would be a bad day before you even left the house; fearing you would fail like you did last time; worried people might not like that new idea you plan to share in this morning’s meeting…

Self-talk like this has a huge impact on how you feel about yourself. In fact, it may surprise you to hear that it’s the single most important determinant of whether you feel loved, respected or appreciated.

Why The Words You Say to Yourself Matter

Consider the facts for a second…

  • Approximately 70 percent of your waking day is spent in one or more types of communication
  • Research suggests that you talk privately to yourself at the rate of 400-4,000 words per minute
  • This internal conversation is never turned off
  • It runs even while you sleep, monitoring your thoughts and feelings of significance
  • AND also influencing your hopes and dreams!

Your Self-Talk forms who you are. The problem is, most of the time you have little conscious awareness of this. So you can become as successful as you want, earn more money and buy more things, even become that version of yourself that you dream about… but so long as your self-talk is at the wheel, you face an uphill battle.

The good news is, scientifically speaking, you can bug your own inner conversations. You can listen in to your internal dialogue as it happens. Most important, you can use it to uncover your profound significance. 

Self-Talk not only originates in the mind; it could be argued that the human mind is self-talk. Remember that story from earlier; the one where the woman slapped the man on the bus? 

Each passenger reacted in a different way. The reason is because of their Self-Talk.

  • The middle-aged man who reacted with sadness thought to himself, ‘He’s lost her, and he’ll never get her back’.
  • The fearful woman thought, ‘She is really going to pay a price for that tonight when he sees her at home’.
  • The angry teenager says to himself, ‘She humiliated him; she must be a real jerk’.
  • The woman who felt excited said to herself, ‘Serves him right. What a strong woman; I wish I was more like that’.

These thoughts instantaneously took place where each person interpreted, judged, and labeled what had happened. Their individual self-talk impacted their emotions, feelings and reactions. As a result, this directs their beliefs! To a large degree, you prescribe to what you say to yourself when nobody else is listening.

“Consistent positive self-talk is unquestionably one of the greatest gifts to one’s subconscious mind.” – Edmond Mbiaka

How to Control Your Internal Dialogue in 5 Steps

Because your self-talk originates in your mind, it’s possible to consciously listen into what’s being said, interpret the meaning differently and take control of what you do next. 

I’ve dedicated much of my latest book ‘Healthy Me, Healthy Us’ to this process. It’s amazing the impact self-talk has on your relationship with yourself, your relationships with those you love, your beliefs on the past, and your dreams for the future. By taking control of this subconscious process you can dramatically change your life.

Step 1: Self-Talk Isn’t Always Bad.

What you say and think to yourself becomes what you feel. Negative self-talk will have a negative impact on your feelings. Whereas positive self-talk increases your belief and faith in yourself.

It isn’t that self-talk is bad in itself. Your inner conversations have a powerful impact on your emotional well-being.Becoming aware of what you’re saying can help you understand why you react the way you do. It can help you figure out who you are, control your moods, repeat your successes, and short-circuit your shortcomings. The key, of course, is to uncover exactly what you’re saying when you talk to yourself.

Step 2: Never Give Up.

Self-Talk played a huge role in helping Great Britain triumph during World War II. Although his life was racked by emotional neglect, parental hypocrisy, and excessive expectations, Winston Churchill kept saying the right things to himself.

He kept believing in himself as a human being. He demonstrated this during a commencement speech he made at Harrow School in 1941. Approaching the podium with his trademark cigar, cane, and top hat, he gave a speech that consisted of only six words…“Never give up,” he shouted after a few seconds of silence. More silence followed before he rose to his toes and shouted once more, “Never give up!”

“I can. I will. End of story.”

Step 3: Seek Rational, Logical Self-Talk.

The best kind of self-talk is rational.

It says, ‘I choose my responses; they don’t choose me’. 

It says, ‘No thought can dwell in my mind without my permission’. 

It says, ‘My value does not equal my performance’.

We all have those irrational and illogical thoughts that come to mind. We must look past these and search for the rational kind. These are the only ones that allow us to regain control.

Step 4: Find Inner Inspiration.

If you look for inspiration from outside of yourself…Social media, Books, Mentors, Famous people…Inspiration like this never lasts. Long-lasting and life-transforming inspiration has to arise from a deeper place. It needs to come from within you: a purpose, a belief, a vision or a dream… faith!

Step 5: Open Your Heart To God.

As the French philosopher Blaise Pascal once said: “There is an “infinite abyss” in the heart of each of us that can be filled only by God. And until we fill that abyss with God’s love—until we feel it deep in our beings—our sense of worth and significance becomes illusive.”

Faith plays a huge role when taking control of your Self-Talk. Whether you believe in God or simply something “bigger” than yourself…It’s important that you open your heart to it so you can finally let go of ego, self-doubt, insecurities, judgment from others and outdated beliefs.

Unless you take control, your self-talk will likely control you. It is possible to destroy the toxic self-talk that holds you back. I’ve seen countless people overcome it. At times, it seems impossible. Yet time-and-time again I’ve witnessed people revolutionize their lives, relationships and more. This process begins with realizing that not all self-talk is bad. Some of it is good, and you are made up of both.

How do you control your inner dialogue & conversations you have with yourself? Share your ideas with us below!

#1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Les Parrott, is a psychologist and author of best-selling books include Love Talk, The Good Fight, Crazy Good Sex, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. His work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today and on CNN, Good Morning America, the Today Show, The View, and Oprah. HealthyMeHealthyUs.com

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Entrepreneurs

The Brutal Truth About Entrepreneurship with ADHD (And Why Most Advice Is Making It Worse)

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Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

You’re not lazy. You’re not undisciplined… and you’re definitely not broken.

You’re an entrepreneur with ADHD, and right now you’re probably sitting on 19 unfinished projects, 47 open tabs, and a brain that feels like it’s running on 12 different radio stations at once.

You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the planners, the Pomodoro timers, the accountability groups. You’ve even hired coaches who promised to “fix” your focus. Yet here you are — brilliant ideas, massive potential, and a business that still feels like it’s one step away from collapsing under the weight of your own mind.

Here’s what almost nobody in the entrepreneurial space will admit:

The real struggle isn’t your ADHD. It’s that you’ve been trying to run a neurodivergent brain inside a neurotypical business model — and then beating yourself up when it doesn’t work.

Most advice for entrepreneurs was written by people whose brains work differently. They preach consistency, routines, long-term planning, and steady execution like those things are universal truths. For the ADHD entrepreneur, those “truths” feel like trying to swim upstream in cement. You can force it for a while (and you have), but eventually your brain rebels, the burnout hits, and you’re left feeling like a failure who just needs to “try harder.”

That cycle is quietly destroying more talented founders than cash flow problems or bad hires ever could.

The deeper layer most people never reach is this: your ADHD isn’t a bug in the system. It’s a different operating system entirely. And when you stop trying to install Windows on a Mac and start building everything around macOS, the game changes completely.

The Hidden Addiction That Keeps ADHD Entrepreneurs Stuck

You already know the surface symptoms — time blindness, rejection sensitivity, starting strong and fading fast, shiny object syndrome.

But the real trap is more insidious.

It’s the addiction to chaos and novelty.

Your brain is wired for dopamine. New ideas, big visions, last-minute sprints, high-stakes pressure — these things light you up like nothing else. The boring, repetitive, systems-building work that actually scales a business? It feels like torture.

So unconsciously, you keep your business in a state of controlled chaos. You say yes to too many things. You chase the next exciting opportunity. You avoid building the boring infrastructure because “I work better under pressure anyway.”

And every time the pressure gets too high, you crash, swear you’ll get organized next quarter, and repeat the cycle.

Meanwhile, the neurotypical advice keeps telling you to “just build better habits.” As if your brain is a poorly trained dog that needs more discipline instead of a high-performance race car that needs the right fuel and track.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s neurology.

And until you stop treating your wiring as something to overcome and start treating it as your greatest strategic advantage, you’ll stay stuck in the same exhausting loop.

The Identity Shift That Changes Everything

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who finally break through don’t “fix” their brains.

They redesign their entire business to work with their brains.

They stop trying to become the consistent, routine-loving founder the gurus talk about. Instead, they become the architect of a system that leverages their natural strengths — hyperfocus, pattern recognition, creative problem-solving, relentless drive under pressure — while outsourcing or automating everything that drains them.

This is the layer most ADHD entrepreneurs never reach because it requires something terrifying: accepting that you are never going to be “normal” at entrepreneurship… and that’s exactly why you can win bigger than most.

Your ability to see connections others miss. Your tolerance for uncertainty. Your capacity to go all-in when something lights you up. These aren’t liabilities. They’re unfair advantages in a world that rewards speed, creativity, and bold moves.

The shift is simple but brutal:

Stop trying to manage your ADHD. Start designing your business around it.

How to Actually Build a Business That Works With Your Brain

  1. Stop fighting your energy cycles — weaponize them. Most ADHD entrepreneurs try to force 8-hour focused days. That’s insane. Instead, track when your brain actually works best (for many it’s 10pm-2am or random 4-hour hyperfocus bursts). Build your schedule around those windows. Protect them like gold. Do the deep, high-leverage work then. Use the low-energy periods for admin, calls, or recovery.
  2. Build “chaos containers,” not rigid systems. Traditional project management tools feel like cages. Create loose but effective structures that give your brain freedom. Use tools like Notion with massive flexibility, or body-doubling (working alongside someone virtually), or even hiring a “chaos wrangler” — an assistant who thrives on turning your scattered ideas into executable plans.
  3. Turn your rejection sensitivity into rocket fuel. That intense fear of letting people down or looking stupid? Channel it into creating ridiculously high standards for your customer experience or product quality. Use it as fuel instead of letting it paralyze you.
  4. Outsource the parts that make you want to die. The execution, follow-through, and maintenance phases are where most ADHD entrepreneurs lose. Hire or partner with people who love the details. Your job is vision, strategy, and big swings. Let someone else own the spreadsheets.
  5. Create external pressure on your own terms. Deadlines and public commitments work wonders for the ADHD brain. Use them strategically — announce launches, create beta groups, or work with coaches who understand neurodivergence instead of fighting it.

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who are quietly crushing it right now aren’t the ones who finally became “disciplined.” They’re the ones who stopped apologizing for how their brain works and started building empires that are specifically engineered for it.

They have teams that handle the boring stuff. They have systems that flex with their energy instead of fighting it. They’ve turned their “flaws” into the exact reasons their businesses stand out.

Your ADHD brain is not the enemy. The enemy was trying to play the game by rules that were never designed for you.

The moment you accept that and start designing everything… your calendar, your team, your offers, your processes — around how you actually operate, the struggle doesn’t disappear… but it becomes manageable, even exhilarating.

You were never meant to fit the mold. You were meant to break it and build something better.

The world doesn’t need another cookie-cutter entrepreneur. It needs the chaotic, brilliant, all-in, slightly unhinged visionaries who can only operate at full power when the game is built for them.

That’s you.

Stop trying to fix yourself. Start building the business that was always meant to be run by a mind like yours.

Your next breakthrough isn’t going to come from working harder or being more consistent. It’s going to come from finally giving yourself permission to work differently.

And when you do that? Watch what happens.

The same brain that once felt like a curse becomes the exact reason your business becomes unstoppable.

You’ve got this. Not despite the ADHD. Because of it.

If you want to learn more from me or send me a personal message I’ll respond to you on Instagram at https://instagram.com/iamjoelbrown speak soon!

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Health & Fitness

The Health Planning Habits That Support Long-Term Success

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Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

Most people think about health planning only when something forces them to.

A medical bill arrives unexpectedly. An insurance issue appears during treatment. A diagnosis changes how future care needs are viewed. Suddenly health planning becomes urgent instead of preventative.

The problem is that long-term health stability is usually shaped by smaller habits built quietly over time, not just by major decisions during emergencies.

That includes physical health habits, of course, but it also includes how people approach insurance coverage, preventative care, financial preparation, and long-term healthcare planning before problems become immediate.

The families who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often not the ones avoiding every issue entirely. More often, they’re the ones who built systems early enough to make difficult situations feel more manageable later.

Consistency Matters More Than Perfection

A lot of health advice still revolves around extreme change.

Perfect diets. Aggressive routines. Complete lifestyle overhauls.

In reality, most long-term health success comes from consistency people can realistically maintain for years instead of months. Small preventative habits tend to matter more than dramatic short-term efforts that collapse under pressure.

That principle applies financially too.

People often spend more time researching investment strategies than understanding their healthcare coverage or preparing for future medical costs. But healthcare instability can disrupt long-term financial plans surprisingly quickly when households are unprepared for how expensive even routine care can become over time.

The practical side of health planning is becoming harder to separate from overall financial planning now than it used to be.

Preventative Planning Reduces More Stress Than People Realize

One overlooked benefit of health planning is emotional stability.

People who understand their coverage, maintain preventative care routines, and think ahead about healthcare decisions often describe feeling less overwhelmed when unexpected situations happen. The goal is not eliminating uncertainty entirely. That’s unrealistic.

The goal is reducing how chaotic healthcare decisions feel under pressure.

That’s one reason broader conversations tied to healthcare and health insurance have expanded significantly over the last several years. Rising costs, changing coverage structures, and increasing healthcare complexity have made long-term planning more important for average households than many people expected.

Healthcare is no longer something most families can comfortably approach reactively forever.

People Underestimate How Quickly Healthcare Costs Compound

One reason health planning habits matter so much is that healthcare costs rarely arrive in one dramatic moment alone.

More often, they build gradually:

  • recurring prescriptions
  • specialist visits
  • ongoing treatment plans
  • insurance deductible increases
  • long-term care considerations
  • unexpected procedures layered on top of existing expenses

Families often absorb these costs incrementally until they realize how much financial pressure accumulated over time.

That gradual buildup is part of what makes proactive planning valuable. People who think ahead about coverage structures, emergency savings, provider networks, and preventative care tend to adapt more smoothly when healthcare needs eventually increase later in life.

The difficult part is that many households delay these conversations because they feel healthy right now.

Healthcare Decisions Have Become More Complicated

Another challenge is that healthcare systems themselves continue evolving quickly.

Insurance structures change. Telehealth expands. Employer-sponsored benefits shift. Prescription pricing fluctuates. Patients now carry more responsibility for understanding deductibles, provider networks, and out-of-pocket exposure than previous generations often did.

That complexity creates decision fatigue.

Even relatively organized households sometimes feel uncertain about whether they’re making good healthcare choices because the systems themselves are difficult to navigate confidently. A lot of current health insurance trends discussions reflect this larger issue, healthcare planning is becoming less about isolated medical events and more about long-term sustainability across entire households.

People want predictability, but healthcare systems increasingly feel harder to predict.

The Most Effective Health Habits Usually Feel Boring

One thing people rarely admit is that good long-term planning habits are often not particularly exciting.

Scheduling preventative appointments. Reviewing insurance annually. Building emergency savings slowly. Staying physically active consistently. Maintaining realistic routines instead of dramatic cycles of burnout and reset.

None of those habits feel dramatic at the moment.

But over long periods, they create stability that becomes incredibly valuable once life gets complicated. The people who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often the ones who built ordinary systems early instead of waiting for perfect motivation later.

That applies financially and physically at the same time.

Why Long-Term Success Depends on Adaptability

Health planning is ultimately difficult because people’s lives keep changing.

Careers shift. Families grow. Aging parents require support. Medical needs evolve. Financial priorities change over decades in ways nobody predicts perfectly in advance.

That’s why the strongest long-term health planning habits are usually flexible rather than rigid.

The goal is not building a flawless plan that never changes. It’s creating enough structure, awareness, and preparation that future adjustments become manageable instead of overwhelming.

Most people cannot control every future health outcome. They can, however, build habits that make uncertainty easier to navigate when it eventually arrives.

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Life

Why Moving to a New City Can Change Your Mindset

Discover how moving to a new city boosts neuroplasticity, builds resilience, and reshapes your mindset

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How relocation changes your mindset

Relocation is always a challenge. Rebuilding and restarting your life requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Hidden Reason You Can’t Stay Consistent

If motivation keeps failing you, the real issue isn’t discipline. It’s the identity shaping your habits and long-term success.

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Identity-based habits

Success often looks like a time-management problem. You buy a planner, set reminders, and hope that next week will be different. For a few days, it works. Then stress hits, motivation drops, and old patterns return. (more…)

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