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Feeling Depressed? Here Are a Few Things You Can Do



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Do you have knots in your stomach? Do you feel the sinking of your heart? Do you get negative thoughts in your mind frequently? Do you get suicidal tendencies? Then you are under depression.  Depression is a major challenge globally leading to deaths and suicides. People are unable to cope with it and express it with others when they are under depression. Even eminent celebrities have depression leading to suicides.

Depression is a state of mind. It is a momentary mental disorder. It involves negative self-talk thus draining energy and enthusiasm. There is a difference between sadness and depression. Sadness is for a short period while depression is for a long period. Sadness is a momentary feeling while depression is a negative feeling which is recurrent and beyond human control. Hence, depression can be defined as an extension of sadness. It is an unchecked stage of sadness where people recurrently think about their unpleasant past or experiences. Here are some symptoms of depression: feeling worthlessness and helplessness; doubting abilities, decreased energy levels, loss of interest in work, feeling irritation and isolation; eating disorders, and sleeping disorders to name a few. 

Causes of depression

Depression is adversely affecting millions of people globally. Most people don’t disclose for fear of losing their social status or being ostracized by society. They hesitate to unveil as people might be excessively sympathetic to them which is not appreciated by them. As a result, they suffer from depression silently.  

There are innumerable causes of depression. Here are some of them. Volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity (VUCA) are some of the major causes. Most people are comfortable with certainty. Hence, they remain in their comfort zone which doesn’t lead to human growth. When people are ambitious to grow, they encounter lots of challenges. They find it difficult to manage to lead to depression. 

Rapid growth in technologies is another reason responsible for depression. People have become slaves to technology. They don’t use it judiciously. When people compare with extraordinary achievers, they get into depression for their inability to grow. They hardly realize how much the extraordinary achievers have endured to come up to such a level.  It is also due to genetic reasons where the person gets depressed due to family history.

“You say you’re ‘depressed’ – all I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.” ― David Mitchell

How to overcome depression?

There is nothing wrong with depression but failing to identify and take appropriate timely measures is wrong. Depression is a state of mind where people are confused with negative or unpleasant thoughts. If they take remedial action timely by converting their negative thoughts into positive thoughts they will be able to overcome depression. Here are some ways to overcome depression:  

  • Be confident and optimistic. Faith is the force of life. Hence, have faith in yourself. 
  • Don’t be oversensitive to problems because problems are part of life. 
  • Don’t feel shy to express your depression with others. Talk to friends and relatives to express your inner emotions and feelings.  
  • Don’t get into a vicious circle. Instead, associate with positive people. A person is judged by the way he or she makes friends and wears clothes. Hence, choose healthy friends and wear comfortable clothes to create positive vibes. 
  • Do things that make you upbeat and energetic. 
  • Set your goals and focus on them religiously. Break them into long-term and short-term goals. And break short-term goals further into daily goals and work on them regularly. It helps you stay focused on your goals thus avoiding depression. 
  • Spend some time with nature. 
  • Pursue creative hobbies. 
  • Prefer physical interaction to virtual interaction.   
  • Participate in social activities and group activities. Contribute through nonprofits to serve society during your leisure time. It gives you immense satisfaction and meaning to your life. 
  • Do meditation regularly to control your emotions and thoughts. Meditation controls your emotions and stabilizes your mind. 
  • Avoid alcohol and caffeine. 
  • Do breathing exercises every day. When you inhale and exhale deeply more oxygen goes to your mind thus relieving your tension and anxiety.
  • Exposé yourself to sunlight every day for some time. It gives you vitamin D and strengthens your bones.  
  • Give adequate rest to your mind by sleeping. 
  • Use technology judiciously. These days technology is essential to update and upgrade yourself. But don’t get addicted to technology. Make it as your servant but don’t become a servant to it. 
  • Don’t worry about failures as they are the stepping stones to your next success. And don’t worry about the results as long as you have contributed your best. 
  • Don’t compare with other achievers. For some people, success comes early and for some people, success comes late. Success is sure to come when you work hard and put your efforts relentlessly. You are a unique person and a God’s gift to this world. Hence, don’t compare with others. 
  • Develop a positive attitude toward facing challenges. Accept the fact that many things are beyond human control. Hence, there is no point in being overly concerned about the factors that cannot be controlled. Accept the fact that everything takes its own time to resolve. Only when the time comes, certain problems can be resolved. Until then, focus on your productive and creative activities. 
  • Develop the attitude of gratitude. Thank the people who helped you and laid the ladder for your success. 
  • Have a big heart to forgive others. Revenge ruins your life while forgiveness elevates your moods in life and makes you taller in the world. 
  • Avoid workaholism and wed spiritualism. 
  • Ensure work-life balance.  
  • Follow the philosophy of health first, education second, and wealth third. 
  • Consult a professional mental health practitioner, if you think that it is difficult for you to handle, and if you get suicidal tendencies frequently. 

A strong family connection is a key to the success of great people. Family stands by you during your trials and tribulations by giving you emotional support. Technology cannot replace the power of family relations. Technology gives you temporary excitement but your family gives you permanent peace and happiness. Additionally, an empty mind is like a devil’s workshop. Hence, engage your mind productively on your passionate tasks. It helps you overcome depression and gives you productive results. 

Depressed people need a shoulder to cry on. If you come across someone who is depressed, spend some time with them. Lend your ears. Use humor carefully. 

Health first, education second, and wealth third

People often give wrong priorities leading to several challenges. They must learn to balance their personal, professional, and social life to provide meaning to their lives. In my personal life, I emphasize health first, education second, and wealth third. Only when you are healthy you will be able to acquire education. When you have both health and education, you can acquire wealth easily. 

Life is full of highs and lows. Every fall has a rise and every rise has a fall. Understand this fact and lead a balanced life. Don’t get dejected by failures and don’t get overjoyed by successes. Handle depression with a cool, calm, and composed mind. To summarize, depression is a curable temporary mental disorder. You can overcome it easily by identifying and taking appropriate timely remedial measures. To conclude, improve your attitude toward your life to overcome depression to lead a happy and pleasant life.  

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’ URL: He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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