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How To Stop Caring What Others Think

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Stop caring what others think

One of the biggest reasons why people don’t go after what they want in life is because they care too much about what others think. Getting over the fear of embarrassment or failure is the key to start living the life that you want. 

So here is a break down for the formula that I have used to help boost my confidence and to laugh in the face of my own personal embarrassment.

 

 

 

 

This is how you stop caring:

 

This Is A Muscle

You can’t magically fix this problem over night. Becoming confident in yourself and not caring about other’s opinions is like exercising a muscle.

No bodybuilder or weightlifter has ever stepped into the gym and been able to lift an impressive amount of poundage. Strengthening your muscles takes time and so does your tolerance towards adversity.

 

It’s A Habit

Who you are today is a product of your habits. You must start changing what you do on a day-to-day basis in order to build the ideal self that you would like to be in the near future.

Stop looking for the next magical fix that will give you the confidence and life that you deserve. This is yours for the taking, but just know it may take a little time.

 

Video

 

Weekly Tasks

These are a couple of tasks that I have personally used over the past three years in order to push me out of the comfort zone.

A couple of these things might be scary but I swear that doing them will give you the best feeling in the world. Because nothing compares to the feeling of overcoming a fear.

Do each task at least twice a week.

 

Week 1

Look at 10 people straight in the eye and hold eye contact. Don’t look away until they do.

 

Week 2

Smile and say hello to 10 strangers as you pass them on the street.

 

Week 3

Ask 10 strangers a ridiculous question.

Something I’ve done plenty of times is to pretend like I’m asking a serious question about directions and then say something like, “If I keep going that way, but my head is looking that way, but I’m thinking about a girl, will I get there?”

I like to see how long I can keep this going before the person starts thinking I’m crazy and walks away.

 

Week 4

Go to five clothing stores for the opposite sex and ask for opinions on how an outfit will look on you. And then ask if you can try it on.

 

Week 5

Strike up a conversation with a stranger and find out their a) greatest fear b) their greatest passion

 

Week 6

Have a 2-minute conversation with an imaginary friend in public.

 

Week 7

Get 10 strangers to hug you.

 

Week 8

Lie down in a busy store. Stay there until someone asks you if you’re ok.

 

Week 9

Get on an elevator and shout each floor number from top to bottom.

 

Week 10

Sing and dance a whole song in a public place.

 

Like I said This is a Muscle

I never started doing the things in Week 10. I never even started in Week 5.

I started in Week 1 and slowly built my tolerance towards embarrassment over time. You don’t stop caring about what others think overnight.

This honestly took me a while to figure out. I was sometimes stuck with one activity for several weeks so don’t stress about it. You will get there if you stay with it enough.

 

Leave your comments and let me know how you went with your weekly adventures.

Sebastian is the mastermind behind Shots Of Insight. In his own words: "Dare to be DIFFERENT - It's a lot more fun that way. Life is way too short to settle for a boring life." Head over to his site and take a shot every single Friday morning.

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36 Comments

36 Comments

  1. Willow

    Jan 5, 2016 at 4:14 am

    Very Good Article.I Will Try My Best So As To Beat My Introversion.

  2. Katy

    Jul 31, 2014 at 6:39 am

    More like how to be obnoxious… lol

  3. Atharva

    May 3, 2014 at 6:04 am

    Hey Sebastardian,

    Article is cool buddy.. I never did any of these exercises, m just born this way.. well, thanx for helping people who need motivation, may be u’ll make them like us 1 day!!
    Good Work.. and no offense about ur name.. m just playing… 😛

    – Atharva

  4. Naomi@business start ups

    Apr 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Hi Sebastian,

    This is hilarious and you ARE crazy. I won’t be convinced of anything else. I don’t know what to think about this post – it’s so weird!

    But the stats don’t lie – I’ve never read anything like this before on this site and I’ve never seen so many ‘shares’ before on any other post on this site too. Which means it’s good stuff.

    Good job

    Naomi

  5. arielleby02

    Apr 1, 2014 at 4:28 am

    Sebastian your awesome! i went over to your youtube page and subscribed to you. I really am glad that someone with your mentality has decided to try and help others with things you struggle with, it is so amazing!! keep up the good work, it truly inspires 🙂

  6. Qamar Pasha

    Mar 13, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Hey Sebastian,
    Thank for sharing this article. I face myself same situation everyday. Hopefully after watching you i want to stop worying enymore my friend.

    • boobieballs

      Mar 20, 2014 at 7:10 pm

      Hey Qamar, best of luck!

  7. Daniel Ferreira

    Feb 26, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    Thats a funny list! lol, I do 5 of those already everyday. Time to step up my game!

    great way to improve and it does help you think outside the box, you become more vocal and think different then the herd.

    • Sebastian

      Mar 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      That makes me happy man, have a good one!

  8. Ojean

    Feb 7, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    Wonderful tips on how to over come fear and build confidence.. gonna do them all will take some time tho as a few are quite outragious

  9. Vikas Chaudhary

    Jan 30, 2014 at 5:57 am

    Great article….

  10. viv

    Jan 26, 2014 at 6:19 am

    Hi!! Sebastian…thanx for the article,these activities are used in AT,Week 4,week6 and week10 will be fun but people will really think him to be crazy, these activities can be done easily in a big city or town where people are busy with their own lives and care less about the others. In smaller town you will become talk of the neighbourhood, overnight crazy celebrity,however one should know the thin line of reason which seperates ‘being crazy’ to ‘being yourself’.

    • Sebastian

      Jan 27, 2014 at 11:54 pm

      I agree, if you’re in a small town, I would do it in a different town. It’s a lot harder when every single person knows who you are.

      There’s a saying that says, don’t sh**t in where you eat.

  11. Suzanne

    Jan 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    You have an awesome outlook on life! I love it!

  12. Jo Ogbajie

    Jan 8, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    This is the best article i’ve read in my life.
    Thanks man! keep it up!

    • Sebastian

      Jan 10, 2014 at 2:10 am

      Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  13. Liza

    Jan 4, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Sebastian this was refreshing. I have done a couple of the assignments but I seem to fall every once in a while into that “this is not the way the people do it” hole. Any assignments for that or should I redo current assignments listed for extra confidence.

    • Sebastian

      Jan 5, 2014 at 10:11 am

      “this is not the way the people do it”

      Who’s the people? If people = majority… Omg, I don’t do anything like people do. Have you looked around? People are depressed and sad and bored. Don’t do anything like people do!

      In terms of the assignments, this is not a recipe, only one way to do it. I’ve always been shy so these tasks were the ones that challenged me.

      Feel free to change them or create your own. Or add more that are easer towards the earlier weeks.

      The IMPORTANT thing is for you to be pushing your comfort zone – little by little. Don’t do stuff that is easy and doesn’t give you that funny feeling inside.

  14. Sebastian

    Jan 3, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    I love that quote man!

  15. Kerrie

    Jan 2, 2014 at 8:18 am

    Forgive me if I come across hostile, these suggestions seam ok, yet frankly childish

    • Sebastian

      Jan 3, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      What can I say? I do my best to keep my inner child alive. I don’t see the point in growing up to become boring, lonely and depressed. And lame too 😉

  16. Sidra Marshall

    Dec 31, 2013 at 11:12 am

    will like to try this but will be a bit tough in a foreign country. As a person of color who wears an afro in Korea I have definitely overcome standing out. At first the constant staring, finger pointing, and confusing cute Korean kids made me very self conscious but now I don’t even notice. I’m hoping to be more vocal and not be afraid to show my true personality. Most of these exercises will be chalked up to me being a weird foreigner but I will give them a try!

    • Sebastian

      Dec 31, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Or you could always use the foreigner card… People tend to be more forgiving to foreigners because after all, they come from somewhere else so it’s fine if they’re a little bit crazy.

      When you’re a foreigner, you could always get out of trouble by saying, “Sorry, that’s normal where I come from”

      • jean

        Jan 2, 2014 at 9:53 am

        woooah…this is really crazy, but thanks sebastian. you’ve got a real big point out there… gotta try them and see what happens…
        .
        .
        .
        .
        oh gosh.. this sure is insanely good.

  17. maxwell ivey

    Dec 30, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    hi sebasteon; You are the man. I have done a few of these, but I don’t think i suffer from fear of looking foolish. And I am a black belt in surviving failure. one of my favorite new sayings is fail forward. I love the idea that we all fail no matter how successful a person may appear and the key is to learn grow and get stronger through your failures. people should watch th video of you riding the motorcycle in the lion’s costume so they know that you will do these things you are telling us to try. great post as always, max

    • Sebastian

      Dec 31, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Fail forward? Is that Eric Thomas? I saw the craziest YouTube video about it…

  18. Ajay

    Dec 29, 2013 at 2:59 am

    excellent ideas..person should have courage to do all these things.

  19. Christine Guzman

    Dec 28, 2013 at 1:32 am

    This looks like fun!

    • Sebastian

      Dec 29, 2013 at 1:10 am

      The feeling is seriously addicting

  20. kibrom

    Dec 27, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    it seems very mighty on ma future life………………

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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