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How To Stop Caring What Others Think

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Stop caring what others think
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One of the biggest reasons why people don’t go after what they want in life is because they care too much about what others think. Getting over the fear of embarrassment or failure is the key to start living the life that you want. 

So here is a break down for the formula that I have used to help boost my confidence and to laugh in the face of my own personal embarrassment.

 

 

 

 

This is how you stop caring:

 

This Is A Muscle

You can’t magically fix this problem over night. Becoming confident in yourself and not caring about other’s opinions is like exercising a muscle.

No bodybuilder or weightlifter has ever stepped into the gym and been able to lift an impressive amount of poundage. Strengthening your muscles takes time and so does your tolerance towards adversity.

 

It’s A Habit

Who you are today is a product of your habits. You must start changing what you do on a day-to-day basis in order to build the ideal self that you would like to be in the near future.

Stop looking for the next magical fix that will give you the confidence and life that you deserve. This is yours for the taking, but just know it may take a little time.

 

Video

 

Weekly Tasks

These are a couple of tasks that I have personally used over the past three years in order to push me out of the comfort zone.

A couple of these things might be scary but I swear that doing them will give you the best feeling in the world. Because nothing compares to the feeling of overcoming a fear.

Do each task at least twice a week.

 

Week 1

Look at 10 people straight in the eye and hold eye contact. Don’t look away until they do.

 

Week 2

Smile and say hello to 10 strangers as you pass them on the street.

 

Week 3

Ask 10 strangers a ridiculous question.

Something I’ve done plenty of times is to pretend like I’m asking a serious question about directions and then say something like, “If I keep going that way, but my head is looking that way, but I’m thinking about a girl, will I get there?”

I like to see how long I can keep this going before the person starts thinking I’m crazy and walks away.

 

Week 4

Go to five clothing stores for the opposite sex and ask for opinions on how an outfit will look on you. And then ask if you can try it on.

 

Week 5

Strike up a conversation with a stranger and find out their a) greatest fear b) their greatest passion

 

Week 6

Have a 2-minute conversation with an imaginary friend in public.

 

Week 7

Get 10 strangers to hug you.

 

Week 8

Lie down in a busy store. Stay there until someone asks you if you’re ok.

 

Week 9

Get on an elevator and shout each floor number from top to bottom.

 

Week 10

Sing and dance a whole song in a public place.

 

Like I said This is a Muscle

I never started doing the things in Week 10. I never even started in Week 5.

I started in Week 1 and slowly built my tolerance towards embarrassment over time. You don’t stop caring about what others think overnight.

This honestly took me a while to figure out. I was sometimes stuck with one activity for several weeks so don’t stress about it. You will get there if you stay with it enough.

 

Leave your comments and let me know how you went with your weekly adventures.

Sebastian is the mastermind behind Shots Of Insight. In his own words: "Dare to be DIFFERENT - It's a lot more fun that way. Life is way too short to settle for a boring life." Head over to his site and take a shot every single Friday morning.

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36 Comments

36 Comments

  1. Willow

    Jan 5, 2016 at 4:14 am

    Very Good Article.I Will Try My Best So As To Beat My Introversion.

  2. Katy

    Jul 31, 2014 at 6:39 am

    More like how to be obnoxious… lol

  3. Atharva

    May 3, 2014 at 6:04 am

    Hey Sebastardian,

    Article is cool buddy.. I never did any of these exercises, m just born this way.. well, thanx for helping people who need motivation, may be u’ll make them like us 1 day!!
    Good Work.. and no offense about ur name.. m just playing… 😛

    – Atharva

  4. Naomi@business start ups

    Apr 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Hi Sebastian,

    This is hilarious and you ARE crazy. I won’t be convinced of anything else. I don’t know what to think about this post – it’s so weird!

    But the stats don’t lie – I’ve never read anything like this before on this site and I’ve never seen so many ‘shares’ before on any other post on this site too. Which means it’s good stuff.

    Good job

    Naomi

  5. arielleby02

    Apr 1, 2014 at 4:28 am

    Sebastian your awesome! i went over to your youtube page and subscribed to you. I really am glad that someone with your mentality has decided to try and help others with things you struggle with, it is so amazing!! keep up the good work, it truly inspires 🙂

  6. Qamar Pasha

    Mar 13, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Hey Sebastian,
    Thank for sharing this article. I face myself same situation everyday. Hopefully after watching you i want to stop worying enymore my friend.

    • boobieballs

      Mar 20, 2014 at 7:10 pm

      Hey Qamar, best of luck!

  7. Daniel Ferreira

    Feb 26, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    Thats a funny list! lol, I do 5 of those already everyday. Time to step up my game!

    great way to improve and it does help you think outside the box, you become more vocal and think different then the herd.

    • Sebastian

      Mar 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      That makes me happy man, have a good one!

  8. Ojean

    Feb 7, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    Wonderful tips on how to over come fear and build confidence.. gonna do them all will take some time tho as a few are quite outragious

  9. Vikas Chaudhary

    Jan 30, 2014 at 5:57 am

    Great article….

  10. viv

    Jan 26, 2014 at 6:19 am

    Hi!! Sebastian…thanx for the article,these activities are used in AT,Week 4,week6 and week10 will be fun but people will really think him to be crazy, these activities can be done easily in a big city or town where people are busy with their own lives and care less about the others. In smaller town you will become talk of the neighbourhood, overnight crazy celebrity,however one should know the thin line of reason which seperates ‘being crazy’ to ‘being yourself’.

    • Sebastian

      Jan 27, 2014 at 11:54 pm

      I agree, if you’re in a small town, I would do it in a different town. It’s a lot harder when every single person knows who you are.

      There’s a saying that says, don’t sh**t in where you eat.

  11. Suzanne

    Jan 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    You have an awesome outlook on life! I love it!

  12. Jo Ogbajie

    Jan 8, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    This is the best article i’ve read in my life.
    Thanks man! keep it up!

    • Sebastian

      Jan 10, 2014 at 2:10 am

      Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  13. Liza

    Jan 4, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Sebastian this was refreshing. I have done a couple of the assignments but I seem to fall every once in a while into that “this is not the way the people do it” hole. Any assignments for that or should I redo current assignments listed for extra confidence.

    • Sebastian

      Jan 5, 2014 at 10:11 am

      “this is not the way the people do it”

      Who’s the people? If people = majority… Omg, I don’t do anything like people do. Have you looked around? People are depressed and sad and bored. Don’t do anything like people do!

      In terms of the assignments, this is not a recipe, only one way to do it. I’ve always been shy so these tasks were the ones that challenged me.

      Feel free to change them or create your own. Or add more that are easer towards the earlier weeks.

      The IMPORTANT thing is for you to be pushing your comfort zone – little by little. Don’t do stuff that is easy and doesn’t give you that funny feeling inside.

  14. Sebastian

    Jan 3, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    I love that quote man!

  15. Kerrie

    Jan 2, 2014 at 8:18 am

    Forgive me if I come across hostile, these suggestions seam ok, yet frankly childish

    • Sebastian

      Jan 3, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      What can I say? I do my best to keep my inner child alive. I don’t see the point in growing up to become boring, lonely and depressed. And lame too 😉

  16. Sidra Marshall

    Dec 31, 2013 at 11:12 am

    will like to try this but will be a bit tough in a foreign country. As a person of color who wears an afro in Korea I have definitely overcome standing out. At first the constant staring, finger pointing, and confusing cute Korean kids made me very self conscious but now I don’t even notice. I’m hoping to be more vocal and not be afraid to show my true personality. Most of these exercises will be chalked up to me being a weird foreigner but I will give them a try!

    • Sebastian

      Dec 31, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Or you could always use the foreigner card… People tend to be more forgiving to foreigners because after all, they come from somewhere else so it’s fine if they’re a little bit crazy.

      When you’re a foreigner, you could always get out of trouble by saying, “Sorry, that’s normal where I come from”

      • jean

        Jan 2, 2014 at 9:53 am

        woooah…this is really crazy, but thanks sebastian. you’ve got a real big point out there… gotta try them and see what happens…
        .
        .
        .
        .
        oh gosh.. this sure is insanely good.

  17. maxwell ivey

    Dec 30, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    hi sebasteon; You are the man. I have done a few of these, but I don’t think i suffer from fear of looking foolish. And I am a black belt in surviving failure. one of my favorite new sayings is fail forward. I love the idea that we all fail no matter how successful a person may appear and the key is to learn grow and get stronger through your failures. people should watch th video of you riding the motorcycle in the lion’s costume so they know that you will do these things you are telling us to try. great post as always, max

    • Sebastian

      Dec 31, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Fail forward? Is that Eric Thomas? I saw the craziest YouTube video about it…

  18. Ajay

    Dec 29, 2013 at 2:59 am

    excellent ideas..person should have courage to do all these things.

  19. Christine Guzman

    Dec 28, 2013 at 1:32 am

    This looks like fun!

    • Sebastian

      Dec 29, 2013 at 1:10 am

      The feeling is seriously addicting

  20. kibrom

    Dec 27, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    it seems very mighty on ma future life………………

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Life

Change Your Life Forever With These 30 Strategies

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change your life

There are strategies which bring together all happy and successful people who can also use them to improve the quality of your life. Usually when you want to change your life, you don’t know where to start and you risk losing the motivation because you don’t know the best strategies to apply. To change your life forever you have to change yourself. If you want to achieve extraordinary results, you must become an extraordinary person.

Here are 30 ways you can change your life today:

1. Face your fears, first the smallest, then the greatest.

2. Transform gratitude into a daily and constant mood. This will allow you to change your life.

3. Be conscious in every moment of what you think, feel, desire and do. Be Present. Do the exercises of “Remembering yourself” all year round.

4. Engage in realizing your dreams, creating a monthly plan with daily actions to accomplish them.

5. Decide what person you want to become, create a purpose that will guide your life and your days.

6. Practice observing thoughts, without identifying yourself with them.

7. Make your power supply healthier.

8. Read more books and take part in several courses and seminars.

9. Always out of the ordinary, do not imitate the mass.

10. Make gentle gestures to people you don’t know.

11. Imagine yourself while you have realized your dreams.

12. Take more time to be alone and get to know you better.

13. Live with the awareness that nothing is yours, everything is a gift.

14. Stop complaining; stop complaining; stop complaining.

15. Help others with the example.

16. Smile and laugh more often, even without reason.

17. Stay for a longer time in contact with nature.

18. Think, talk and act as the person you want to become.

19. Be punctual and if you make a mistake, please apologize.

20. Say thank you for each gift, learn to receive.

21. Change a habit or recurring reaction.

22. Take responsibility for the successes and failures you achieve, never point your finger at someone else.

23. Admire and bless more often.

24. Strive to perceive perfection and beauty in everything that happens to you.

25. Inwardly love your enemies, even if you don’t talk to them externally.

26. Learn a musical instrument or a new language.

27. Keep promises made.

28. During a difficult period ask yourself “What can I learn from this situation”?

29. Do more often what is right and less what is convenient for you.

30. Change your way of thinking.

If you want to change your life forever, you must act as if you were already the person you want to become. Take action as if you were already sure of yourself, and see what beliefs are held by successful people, great leaders, the best in your industry and those who get great results.

Listening to them, spend time with them, try to understand what they think, how they see each other, and what they think about their activity. Read the books of those who get the same results that you want to achieve, listen to their interviews, read their autobiographies, and find out what their mental attitude is.

All successful people have similar beliefs

I’ll tell you a secret: There is no greater psychological strength than the need we have to remain consistent with our own identity; to remain consistent with who we believe we are. What does that mean? Simple, that everything that anything I put after the words “I am:…” becomes reality.

If you think you are shy, you will do everything you can to act accordingly. If you believe you are extroverted, you will give everything to act accordingly. Listen and pay attention to what you add after the words “I am…”. If you don’t believe you can achieve your goals beyond the objective difficulties, you won’t be able to do it anyway: you will be the first cause of your failure.

Which one of these 30 strategies will you implement in your life today? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

Lost Your Mojo? Focus on These 3 Areas to Get Back in the Game

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get back in the game

It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!

It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!

Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:

1. Energy levels

The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.

Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.

“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan

2. Production levels

The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?

3. Confidence levels

The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.

The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!

“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan

It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented. 

Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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never give up

I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

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Life

As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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Motivation

How I Spent The Last 3 Years Becoming Minimalist And Why You Should Too

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It started after a record few years of earning more money than I could spend.

I accumulated junk and things I didn’t need.

I’d buy ten pairs of black shoes, a new shirt for every birthday party I attended and every piece of audio software that some guy I didn’t know told me to get. It got out of hand quickly. It was a time in my life where I hadn’t begun working on myself and I was pretty down a lot of the time.

Buying useless junk numbed the pain but only for a short while. The lies I’d tell myself about my bad habit were incredible. I’ve been having a serious go at becoming minimalist for the last three years. I actually started a few years prior and ended up having a few false starts.

Here’s how I became minimalist (I’d suggest doing the same if you can):

 

Start with the big stuff.

That BMW had to go. It was taking up so much of my time and money to keep on the road. It was like a screaming child, always wanting something. Unlike a child, I had no passion or drive to take care of this European piece of crap that society told me I needed to be successful.

I put the car online for sale. It was a painful process and every person that came to see it found problems with what I thought was a spotless car.

It was a negotiation tactic and it was stopping me from beginning a new life with this whole minimalist dream.

I ended up selling the car for much less than it was worth. I did the numbers and no matter what, even losing a bit of money on it still made sense. Once the car was gone, the process of becoming minimalist began.

 

You can easily forget how out of control you are.

At the start of this minimalism process I had 4 computers, 5 microphones, 2 laptops, 5 mobile phones, 2 iPads, 2 soundcards, 2 large sized wardrobes of clothes, more than 20 pairs of shoes, multiple spare car stereos, and a whole pile of CDs and DVDs that were overflowing from my draws.

As I read back the list I just wrote, I now see how out of control I was. Oh and I even had an old VCR with heaps of old cassette tapes that I kept telling myself I’d watch one day even though I hate the idea of having to fast forward through in real-time to find out what’s on the tapes. I was delusional about my junk habit, to say the least.

 

Trying to give stuff away is useless.

The delusion that is giving stuff away is why you are still not a minimalist. The key lesson I had to learn time and time again was to stop trying to give stuff away, Some of the stuff I wanted to chuck out was valuable to someone, somewhere.

The trouble is that it’s hard to find the right person, at the right time who may have the space for your item. I thought about all the time wasted giving stuff away. I thought about the effort it took to deliver my junk to people’s homes. I thought about all the space my junk took up in my life.

 

It just wasn’t worth it. If you are serious about becoming minimalist and the benefits that come with this lifestyle, you’ve got to marry the idea that you’ll need to throw things away.

 

Not used it in 12 months? Chuck it.

This question sent my minimalist quest into hyperdrive. When I looked at how much stuff I had that in some cases hadn’t been used for more than 5 years, I figured out that these were things that I should discard. We tell ourselves that one day we’ll use a particular item.

That one day never comes and these items become a burden the longer we hold onto them.

 

Support charity where you can.

You may be reading this blog post thinking “Who is this a**hole who’s so disrespectful to the environment?”

Well, you’d be wrong. I did consider the environment and people less fortunate than me. Where possible, I gave away lots of clothes, shoes and electronic items to charity. If you want to be minimalist, then I’d strongly urge you to do the same.

The cool thing is you get to clear out your junk, feel good, and help someone in need. There are just so many good reasons to become minimalist. Jump on the bandwagon!

 

Get some external motivation.

While going through the journey of becoming minimalist, I coincidently interviewed a blogger named Joshua Becker. He runs a blog called Becoming Minimalist. Joshua taught me so many awesome little hacks to clear out junk and he changed the way I was thinking about material possessions.

 

It’s not just the physical junk.

I was trying to be the next big music producer before my minimalism quest started and so I kept buying more audio gear. I somehow thought that the more gear I had, the more cool sounds I could create. The trouble was I always had to learn how to use new gear, so I never mastered one instrument or audio effect.

Meanwhile, back in France, Daft Punk would brag about how old their computer was and how they always used the same small number of instruments. No wonder they had such cool music.

“Daft Punk went for minimalism that led to mastery, while I was dabbling in being a master of everything”

 

The other point to consider is that junk is not just your material things. We also collect digital garbage now as well. I still have more than 10 TB of data to sort through. This excess storage on our computers slows our operating system down, makes it hard to find stuff and requires us to keep buying more storage.

Having lots of data also makes it difficult to back stuff up because storing things in the cloud becomes an expensive pursuit for a data hoarder.

 

Some of us like the idea of becoming minimalist but never do.

Is that you? It was certainly me. Having dreams of taking action is what’s holding you back. It may be affecting more than just your goal to get rid of junk. Don’t think about taking action: commit to it.

Here’s how:

Aim to throw away one piece of junk every week.

I did this little hack and it’s how I’ve now been able to free up space in my life for things that matter.

 

Minimalism allows for more of the good stuff.

Once I had heaps of room from clearing out my junk, I noticed my mind was less busy. One of the key pieces of junk that was very hard to throw away was my old Mac Pro computer. I kept telling myself I may need it in the future even though my current Mac laptop is more than good enough.

I’m dumbfounded at how much time I would spend every day thinking about whether I should throw out my very old 2009 Mac. Finally, I got pissed off. The thinking time wasted on this idea could be used to do other stuff. Ultimately, what convinced me to throw it away was the time I’d get back to keep blogging for all of you.

Having space in your home and mind allows you room for the stuff and ideas you actually want in your life. You feel so free when you get to this point.

 

It’s a long journey.

Keeping junk out of your life becomes the next challenge once you are free of all of your garbage. Every holiday I go on I’m tempted to collect souvenirs I’ll never look at again.

“Every trip to the shopping centre makes me feel like a gambler trying not to place a bet”

The temptation at these giant concrete shopping centres is to buy more clothes, more shoes and more things that will supposedly make you happy.

I’ve learned through minimalism that less is more and that’s what leaves me space to be happy. I can’t be happy when I’m simultaneously pissed off with all of the junk in my life.

 

Junk sucks up our time and that’s the one thing we should never waste.

Do you want to waste time thinking about and maintaining your junk or would you prefer to live a life where you have room for what personally matters to you?

Not being minimalist is costing you more than you think. It’s leading you down a path that makes other people big profits while keeping you both broke and with a mind not focused on your goals.

Get a divorce from the material world. Marry the empty space of what you love instead.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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36 Comments

36 Comments

  1. Willow

    Jan 5, 2016 at 4:14 am

    Very Good Article.I Will Try My Best So As To Beat My Introversion.

  2. Katy

    Jul 31, 2014 at 6:39 am

    More like how to be obnoxious… lol

  3. Atharva

    May 3, 2014 at 6:04 am

    Hey Sebastardian,

    Article is cool buddy.. I never did any of these exercises, m just born this way.. well, thanx for helping people who need motivation, may be u’ll make them like us 1 day!!
    Good Work.. and no offense about ur name.. m just playing… 😛

    – Atharva

  4. Naomi@business start ups

    Apr 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Hi Sebastian,

    This is hilarious and you ARE crazy. I won’t be convinced of anything else. I don’t know what to think about this post – it’s so weird!

    But the stats don’t lie – I’ve never read anything like this before on this site and I’ve never seen so many ‘shares’ before on any other post on this site too. Which means it’s good stuff.

    Good job

    Naomi

  5. arielleby02

    Apr 1, 2014 at 4:28 am

    Sebastian your awesome! i went over to your youtube page and subscribed to you. I really am glad that someone with your mentality has decided to try and help others with things you struggle with, it is so amazing!! keep up the good work, it truly inspires 🙂

  6. Qamar Pasha

    Mar 13, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Hey Sebastian,
    Thank for sharing this article. I face myself same situation everyday. Hopefully after watching you i want to stop worying enymore my friend.

    • boobieballs

      Mar 20, 2014 at 7:10 pm

      Hey Qamar, best of luck!

  7. Daniel Ferreira

    Feb 26, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    Thats a funny list! lol, I do 5 of those already everyday. Time to step up my game!

    great way to improve and it does help you think outside the box, you become more vocal and think different then the herd.

    • Sebastian

      Mar 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      That makes me happy man, have a good one!

  8. Ojean

    Feb 7, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    Wonderful tips on how to over come fear and build confidence.. gonna do them all will take some time tho as a few are quite outragious

  9. Vikas Chaudhary

    Jan 30, 2014 at 5:57 am

    Great article….

  10. viv

    Jan 26, 2014 at 6:19 am

    Hi!! Sebastian…thanx for the article,these activities are used in AT,Week 4,week6 and week10 will be fun but people will really think him to be crazy, these activities can be done easily in a big city or town where people are busy with their own lives and care less about the others. In smaller town you will become talk of the neighbourhood, overnight crazy celebrity,however one should know the thin line of reason which seperates ‘being crazy’ to ‘being yourself’.

    • Sebastian

      Jan 27, 2014 at 11:54 pm

      I agree, if you’re in a small town, I would do it in a different town. It’s a lot harder when every single person knows who you are.

      There’s a saying that says, don’t sh**t in where you eat.

  11. Suzanne

    Jan 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    You have an awesome outlook on life! I love it!

  12. Jo Ogbajie

    Jan 8, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    This is the best article i’ve read in my life.
    Thanks man! keep it up!

    • Sebastian

      Jan 10, 2014 at 2:10 am

      Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  13. Liza

    Jan 4, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Sebastian this was refreshing. I have done a couple of the assignments but I seem to fall every once in a while into that “this is not the way the people do it” hole. Any assignments for that or should I redo current assignments listed for extra confidence.

    • Sebastian

      Jan 5, 2014 at 10:11 am

      “this is not the way the people do it”

      Who’s the people? If people = majority… Omg, I don’t do anything like people do. Have you looked around? People are depressed and sad and bored. Don’t do anything like people do!

      In terms of the assignments, this is not a recipe, only one way to do it. I’ve always been shy so these tasks were the ones that challenged me.

      Feel free to change them or create your own. Or add more that are easer towards the earlier weeks.

      The IMPORTANT thing is for you to be pushing your comfort zone – little by little. Don’t do stuff that is easy and doesn’t give you that funny feeling inside.

  14. Sebastian

    Jan 3, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    I love that quote man!

  15. Kerrie

    Jan 2, 2014 at 8:18 am

    Forgive me if I come across hostile, these suggestions seam ok, yet frankly childish

    • Sebastian

      Jan 3, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      What can I say? I do my best to keep my inner child alive. I don’t see the point in growing up to become boring, lonely and depressed. And lame too 😉

  16. Sidra Marshall

    Dec 31, 2013 at 11:12 am

    will like to try this but will be a bit tough in a foreign country. As a person of color who wears an afro in Korea I have definitely overcome standing out. At first the constant staring, finger pointing, and confusing cute Korean kids made me very self conscious but now I don’t even notice. I’m hoping to be more vocal and not be afraid to show my true personality. Most of these exercises will be chalked up to me being a weird foreigner but I will give them a try!

    • Sebastian

      Dec 31, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Or you could always use the foreigner card… People tend to be more forgiving to foreigners because after all, they come from somewhere else so it’s fine if they’re a little bit crazy.

      When you’re a foreigner, you could always get out of trouble by saying, “Sorry, that’s normal where I come from”

      • jean

        Jan 2, 2014 at 9:53 am

        woooah…this is really crazy, but thanks sebastian. you’ve got a real big point out there… gotta try them and see what happens…
        .
        .
        .
        .
        oh gosh.. this sure is insanely good.

  17. maxwell ivey

    Dec 30, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    hi sebasteon; You are the man. I have done a few of these, but I don’t think i suffer from fear of looking foolish. And I am a black belt in surviving failure. one of my favorite new sayings is fail forward. I love the idea that we all fail no matter how successful a person may appear and the key is to learn grow and get stronger through your failures. people should watch th video of you riding the motorcycle in the lion’s costume so they know that you will do these things you are telling us to try. great post as always, max

    • Sebastian

      Dec 31, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Fail forward? Is that Eric Thomas? I saw the craziest YouTube video about it…

  18. Ajay

    Dec 29, 2013 at 2:59 am

    excellent ideas..person should have courage to do all these things.

  19. Christine Guzman

    Dec 28, 2013 at 1:32 am

    This looks like fun!

    • Sebastian

      Dec 29, 2013 at 1:10 am

      The feeling is seriously addicting

  20. kibrom

    Dec 27, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    it seems very mighty on ma future life………………

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Life

Change Your Life Forever With These 30 Strategies

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change your life

There are strategies which bring together all happy and successful people who can also use them to improve the quality of your life. Usually when you want to change your life, you don’t know where to start and you risk losing the motivation because you don’t know the best strategies to apply. To change your life forever you have to change yourself. If you want to achieve extraordinary results, you must become an extraordinary person.

Here are 30 ways you can change your life today:

1. Face your fears, first the smallest, then the greatest.

2. Transform gratitude into a daily and constant mood. This will allow you to change your life.

3. Be conscious in every moment of what you think, feel, desire and do. Be Present. Do the exercises of “Remembering yourself” all year round.

4. Engage in realizing your dreams, creating a monthly plan with daily actions to accomplish them.

5. Decide what person you want to become, create a purpose that will guide your life and your days.

6. Practice observing thoughts, without identifying yourself with them.

7. Make your power supply healthier.

8. Read more books and take part in several courses and seminars.

9. Always out of the ordinary, do not imitate the mass.

10. Make gentle gestures to people you don’t know.

11. Imagine yourself while you have realized your dreams.

12. Take more time to be alone and get to know you better.

13. Live with the awareness that nothing is yours, everything is a gift.

14. Stop complaining; stop complaining; stop complaining.

15. Help others with the example.

16. Smile and laugh more often, even without reason.

17. Stay for a longer time in contact with nature.

18. Think, talk and act as the person you want to become.

19. Be punctual and if you make a mistake, please apologize.

20. Say thank you for each gift, learn to receive.

21. Change a habit or recurring reaction.

22. Take responsibility for the successes and failures you achieve, never point your finger at someone else.

23. Admire and bless more often.

24. Strive to perceive perfection and beauty in everything that happens to you.

25. Inwardly love your enemies, even if you don’t talk to them externally.

26. Learn a musical instrument or a new language.

27. Keep promises made.

28. During a difficult period ask yourself “What can I learn from this situation”?

29. Do more often what is right and less what is convenient for you.

30. Change your way of thinking.

If you want to change your life forever, you must act as if you were already the person you want to become. Take action as if you were already sure of yourself, and see what beliefs are held by successful people, great leaders, the best in your industry and those who get great results.

Listening to them, spend time with them, try to understand what they think, how they see each other, and what they think about their activity. Read the books of those who get the same results that you want to achieve, listen to their interviews, read their autobiographies, and find out what their mental attitude is.

All successful people have similar beliefs

I’ll tell you a secret: There is no greater psychological strength than the need we have to remain consistent with our own identity; to remain consistent with who we believe we are. What does that mean? Simple, that everything that anything I put after the words “I am:…” becomes reality.

If you think you are shy, you will do everything you can to act accordingly. If you believe you are extroverted, you will give everything to act accordingly. Listen and pay attention to what you add after the words “I am…”. If you don’t believe you can achieve your goals beyond the objective difficulties, you won’t be able to do it anyway: you will be the first cause of your failure.

Which one of these 30 strategies will you implement in your life today? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

Lost Your Mojo? Focus on These 3 Areas to Get Back in the Game

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get back in the game

It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!

It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!

Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:

1. Energy levels

The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.

Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.

“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan

2. Production levels

The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?

3. Confidence levels

The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.

The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!

“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan

It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented. 

Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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never give up

I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

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Life

As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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take a break from technology

A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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