Life

How To Stop Caring What Others Think

One of the biggest reasons why people don’t go after what they want in life is because they care too much about what others think. Getting over the fear of embarrassment or failure is the key to start living the life that you want.

So here is a break down for the formula that I have used to help boost my confidence and to laugh in the face of my own personal embarrassment.

This is how you stop caring:

This Is A Muscle

You can’t magically fix this problem over night. Becoming confident in yourself and not caring about other’s opinions is like exercising a muscle.

No bodybuilder or weightlifter has ever stepped into the gym and been able to lift an impressive amount of poundage. Strengthening your muscles takes time and so does your tolerance towards adversity.

It’s A Habit

Who you are today is a product of your habits. You must start changing what you do on a day-to-day basis in order to build the ideal self that you would like to be in the near future.

Stop looking for the next magical fix that will give you the confidence and life that you deserve. This is yours for the taking, but just know it may take a little time.

Video

Weekly Tasks

These are a couple of tasks that I have personally used over the past three years in order to push me out of the comfort zone.

A couple of these things might be scary but I swear that doing them will give you the best feeling in the world. Because nothing compares to the feeling of overcoming a fear.

Do each task at least twice a week.

Week 1

Look at 10 people straight in the eye and hold eye contact. Don’t look away until they do.

Week 2

Smile and say hello to 10 strangers as you pass them on the street.

Week 3

Ask 10 strangers a ridiculous question.

Something I’ve done plenty of times is to pretend like I’m asking a serious question about directions and then say something like, “If I keep going that way, but my head is looking that way, but I’m thinking about a girl, will I get there?”

I like to see how long I can keep this going before the person starts thinking I’m crazy and walks away.

Week 4

Go to five clothing stores for the opposite sex and ask for opinions on how an outfit will look on you. And then ask if you can try it on.

Week 5

Strike up a conversation with a stranger and find out their a) greatest fear b) their greatest passion

Week 6

Have a 2-minute conversation with an imaginary friend in public.

Week 7

Get 10 strangers to hug you.

Week 8

Lie down in a busy store. Stay there until someone asks you if you’re ok.

Week 9

Get on an elevator and shout each floor number from top to bottom.

Week 10

Sing and dance a whole song in a public place.

Like I said… This is a Muscle

I never started doing the things in Week 10. I never even started in Week 5.

I started in Week 1 and slowly built my tolerance towards embarrassment over time. You don’t stop caring about what others think overnight.

This honestly took me a while to figure out. I was sometimes stuck with one activity for several weeks so don’t stress about it. You will get there if you stay with it enough.

Leave your comments and let me know how you went with your weekly adventures.

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Sebastian

Sebastian is the mastermind behind Shots Of Insight. In his own words: "Dare to be DIFFERENT - It's a lot more fun that way. Life is way too short to settle for a boring life." Head over to his site and take a shot every single Friday morning.

36 Comments

Willow
Jan 5, 2016 at 4:14 am
Very Good Article.I Will Try My Best So As To Beat My Introversion.
Reply
Katy
Jul 31, 2014 at 6:39 am
More like how to be obnoxious… lol
Reply
Atharva
May 3, 2014 at 6:04 am
Hey Sebastardian,
Article is cool buddy.. I never did any of these exercises, m just born this way.. well, thanx for helping people who need motivation, may be u’ll make them like us 1 day!!
Good Work.. and no offense about ur name.. m just playing… 😛
– Atharva
Reply
Naomi@business start ups
Apr 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm
Hi Sebastian,
This is hilarious and you ARE crazy. I won’t be convinced of anything else. I don’t know what to think about this post – it’s so weird!
But the stats don’t lie – I’ve never read anything like this before on this site and I’ve never seen so many ‘shares’ before on any other post on this site too. Which means it’s good stuff.
Good job
Naomi
Reply
arielleby02
Apr 1, 2014 at 4:28 am
Sebastian your awesome! i went over to your youtube page and subscribed to you. I really am glad that someone with your mentality has decided to try and help others with things you struggle with, it is so amazing!! keep up the good work, it truly inspires 🙂
Reply
Qamar Pasha
Mar 13, 2014 at 6:00 pm
Hey Sebastian,
Thank for sharing this article. I face myself same situation everyday. Hopefully after watching you i want to stop worying enymore my friend.
Reply
- boobieballs
  Mar 20, 2014 at 7:10 pm
  Hey Qamar, best of luck!
  Reply
Daniel Ferreira
Feb 26, 2014 at 10:26 pm
Thats a funny list! lol, I do 5 of those already everyday. Time to step up my game!
great way to improve and it does help you think outside the box, you become more vocal and think different then the herd.
Reply
- Sebastian
  Mar 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm
  That makes me happy man, have a good one!
  Reply
Ojean
Feb 7, 2014 at 4:56 pm
Wonderful tips on how to over come fear and build confidence.. gonna do them all will take some time tho as a few are quite outragious
Reply
- Sebastian
  Feb 25, 2014 at 3:50 pm
  Good luck!
  Reply
Vikas Chaudhary
Jan 30, 2014 at 5:57 am
Great article….
Reply
- Sebastian
  Feb 2, 2014 at 11:19 pm
  Thank you Vikas!
  Reply
viv
Jan 26, 2014 at 6:19 am
Hi!! Sebastian…thanx for the article,these activities are used in AT,Week 4,week6 and week10 will be fun but people will really think him to be crazy, these activities can be done easily in a big city or town where people are busy with their own lives and care less about the others. In smaller town you will become talk of the neighbourhood, overnight crazy celebrity,however one should know the thin line of reason which seperates ‘being crazy’ to ‘being yourself’.
Reply
- Sebastian
  Jan 27, 2014 at 11:54 pm
  I agree, if you’re in a small town, I would do it in a different town. It’s a lot harder when every single person knows who you are.
  There’s a saying that says, don’t sh**t in where you eat.
  Reply
Suzanne
Jan 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm
You have an awesome outlook on life! I love it!
Reply
- Sebastian
  Jan 23, 2014 at 8:30 pm
  Thank you Suzanne! 🙂
  Reply
Jo Ogbajie
Jan 8, 2014 at 6:49 pm
This is the best article i’ve read in my life.
Thanks man! keep it up!
Reply
- Sebastian
  Jan 10, 2014 at 2:10 am
  Thank you, thank you, thank you!
  Reply
Liza
Jan 4, 2014 at 8:35 pm
Sebastian this was refreshing. I have done a couple of the assignments but I seem to fall every once in a while into that “this is not the way the people do it” hole. Any assignments for that or should I redo current assignments listed for extra confidence.
Reply
- Sebastian
  Jan 5, 2014 at 10:11 am
  “this is not the way the people do it”
  Who’s the people? If people = majority… Omg, I don’t do anything like people do. Have you looked around? People are depressed and sad and bored. Don’t do anything like people do!
  In terms of the assignments, this is not a recipe, only one way to do it. I’ve always been shy so these tasks were the ones that challenged me.
  Feel free to change them or create your own. Or add more that are easer towards the earlier weeks.
  The IMPORTANT thing is for you to be pushing your comfort zone – little by little. Don’t do stuff that is easy and doesn’t give you that funny feeling inside.
  Reply
Sebastian
Jan 3, 2014 at 4:42 pm
I love that quote man!
Reply
Kerrie
Jan 2, 2014 at 8:18 am
Forgive me if I come across hostile, these suggestions seam ok, yet frankly childish
Reply
- Sebastian
  Jan 3, 2014 at 4:41 pm
  What can I say? I do my best to keep my inner child alive. I don’t see the point in growing up to become boring, lonely and depressed. And lame too 😉
  Reply
Sidra Marshall
Dec 31, 2013 at 11:12 am
will like to try this but will be a bit tough in a foreign country. As a person of color who wears an afro in Korea I have definitely overcome standing out. At first the constant staring, finger pointing, and confusing cute Korean kids made me very self conscious but now I don’t even notice. I’m hoping to be more vocal and not be afraid to show my true personality. Most of these exercises will be chalked up to me being a weird foreigner but I will give them a try!
Reply
- Sebastian
  Dec 31, 2013 at 3:06 pm
  Or you could always use the foreigner card… People tend to be more forgiving to foreigners because after all, they come from somewhere else so it’s fine if they’re a little bit crazy.
  When you’re a foreigner, you could always get out of trouble by saying, “Sorry, that’s normal where I come from”
  Reply
  - jean
    Jan 2, 2014 at 9:53 am
    woooah…this is really crazy, but thanks sebastian. you’ve got a real big point out there… gotta try them and see what happens…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    oh gosh.. this sure is insanely good.
    Reply
    - Sebastian
      Jan 3, 2014 at 4:38 pm
      Thank you! 🙂
      Reply
maxwell ivey
Dec 30, 2013 at 4:56 pm
hi sebasteon; You are the man. I have done a few of these, but I don’t think i suffer from fear of looking foolish. And I am a black belt in surviving failure. one of my favorite new sayings is fail forward. I love the idea that we all fail no matter how successful a person may appear and the key is to learn grow and get stronger through your failures. people should watch th video of you riding the motorcycle in the lion’s costume so they know that you will do these things you are telling us to try. great post as always, max
Reply
- Sebastian
  Dec 31, 2013 at 3:08 pm
  Fail forward? Is that Eric Thomas? I saw the craziest YouTube video about it…
  Reply
Ajay
Dec 29, 2013 at 2:59 am
excellent ideas..person should have courage to do all these things.
Reply
- Sebastian
  Dec 29, 2013 at 4:27 am
  one step at a time
  Reply
Christine Guzman
Dec 28, 2013 at 1:32 am
This looks like fun!
Reply
- Sebastian
  Dec 29, 2013 at 1:10 am
  The feeling is seriously addicting
  Reply
kibrom
Dec 27, 2013 at 12:42 pm
it seems very mighty on ma future life………………
Reply
- Sebastian
  Dec 27, 2013 at 3:55 pm
  what?
  Reply

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