Connect with us

Life

The 5 Hidden Warning Signs That You Have Low Self Confidence (And HOW to Fix It!!)

Published

on

low self esteem low self confidence

I became a Confidence Coach for two reasons: firstly, I feel completely alive when I coach people because I am living my purpose, and secondly, I don’t want others to have to suffer through low self-confidence like I did. Like myself, many people are not even aware that they have major confidence issues, but they are aware that ‘something is wrong’.

If you have core beliefs that undermine your self-confidence, you have probably felt like something has been missing your entire life. It’s a feeling that takes the sweetness out of success, and emphasises the heartbreak of failure. It’s a vague, guilty doubt, always there in the back of your mind, and sometimes in the front when you lie awake at night.

I’ve come to believe that this feeling is the small remaining part inside of you which knows you could be confident. It’s the part of you which smacks its head in despair every time you avoid something, or make excuses, or pretend you don’t want something you secretly desire.

For years I searched for confidence without even knowing that’s what I was searching for. All I knew was that I wanted better from myself and I was sick of being held back by fear. It was only a few years ago that I realised the issue was all to do with self-confidence.

The warning signs were always there – I just didn’t see them because I thought they were normal. I figured everyone either felt the same or else they were simply born differently and weren’t afraid. In a way I was both right and wrong. Yes some people felt the same as me, but that didn’t mean it had to be this way.

So if you are feeling like something is holding you back in life, if you’re frustrated by the sense of missing out, then have a read through this list of warning signs you could be overlooking. Then consider my solutions to these, as tried and tested methods on how to overcome these barriers to inner confidence.

 

1. You feel compelled to check your phone when left alone in social situations

I see this all the time. Two people are at a bar, restaurant or shopping mall and one needs to go to the toilet. The other person quickly comes to the realisation that they are now alone in a public setting. The first instinct is to go to the phone… checking for non-existent text messages or scrolling through Facebook. This is simply to alleviate boredom until the other person returns, right?

Wrong!

I guarantee the reason most people do this is because they feel like they are being judged by the public when they are out in a social situation by themselves. We are terrified by the thought that other people can see that we are by ourselves without a good excuse. This relates, in my experience, to a basic fear of disapproval by others. While in reality nobody even barely cares that you’re by yourself (they’ve got their own fears to deal with!), you feel as if you are the centre of attention.

 

Solution:

You need to prove to yourself that being alone in a social situation does not have any negative consequences. You can only achieve this by actually going out alone. Start small, like having a latte at a busy café by yourself. No checking the phone, no reading magazines, just no distractions whatsoever. Take your time, hey people-watching can be great fun! Once this harmless event is conquered, move up to dining, shopping, movies and bar-hopping alone. Being able to do these things despite the fear will make you more socially confident than 80% of people out there.

 

Super Challenge:

For those of you with mighty balls/ovaries, try going to a party, concert or nightclub alone, and initiate conversations with at least 5 strangers. I predict only about 1-5% of the total human population can do this without alcohol or a firearm pointed at them, so here’s an opportunity to place yourself among the elite of self-confident.

 

2. You’re unable to leave the house looking like crap

This one also relates to being judged by others, but is more specific to our fear of looking unattractive. I was recently in the Gold Coast in Australia and was saddened by the materialistic focus of the locals. Everyone seemed to be as polished and perfect as they could be. They obviously spend hours getting ready, even just to walk to the shops. Must be exhausting!

Looking good for yourself and looking good for others are two completely different concepts. Trying to win the approval of the fickle public with your appearance is a race you are always going to lose, because everyone has different tastes and eventually you will get old and ugly, no matter what. Wouldn’t it be better to not care what others thought of your appearance before that happens?

 

Solution:

In brief, discover your identity and match your ‘look’ to that. Focus on pleasing yourself with your ideal view of what you wish you were, rather than what other people think you should look like. I see myself as leader and an artist, so I like to combine business-wear with tattoos and jewellery. I can look at myself in the mirror and think “You’re looking badass my friend” without caring how others perceive me. I used to wear what people I envied wore!

 

Super Challenge:

Want to end your fear of public humiliation based on appearance for life? Don’t shower or groom yourself for a week. Do not use a mirror or allow yourself to see your reflection for the whole week. Go out in public at least once a day, wearing your worst clothes, such as tacky gym-clothes or mismatching items on purpose. No make-up, accessories, hats or shades (unless they are embarrassing). Yes, you will be judged, but nothing bad will happen. After a week like that, a quick trip to the shops in your PJ’s won’t seem like a big deal.

 

3. You tell ‘white lies’ to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or keep your job

Fear of conflict keeps many people from making improvements in their lives, because it robs them of integrity. Try to imagine being in a position where you have absolutely no secrets and nothing to hide. How would that feel? At first this concept terrified me. Now, I can’t see any other option, because total truth is pure freedom. You’d be amazed at how accepting good people are.

Trying to maintain a conflict-free environment can only be done through dishonesty for most people. It’s hard to build self-confidence when part of you constantly feels guilty about manipulating and lying. Yes, a small white lie to avoid conflict is a manipulative deception, don’t kid yourself about that! Self-confidence and self-belief requires the basic view of yourself as being a ‘good’ person. You need integrity to achieve this state.

 

Solution:

This one is a tricky one isn’t it?! It can seem impossible to be completely honest. The secret is to start small and learn how to deliver the truth safely. In one of my previous articles, I talk about using the BEID model for delivering feedback (see my addicted2success article on Living With Integrity). Using models to safely deliver messages will work as training wheels helping you build up to full disclosure. So start by making a commitment to catch yourself out when you’re about to lie to avoid conflict, and instead try to state your truth in a non-confrontational way.

 

Super Challenge:

Letting people see your weaknesses is the key to overcoming your fear that people will abandon you if you don’t play nice. That fear is what this ‘avoiding conflict’ is really about: wanting people to like you. If you really want to let go of your fear of conflict, you first need to let go of your fear that people will react negatively to the Real You, with all your flaws and vulnerability. If you want to flood this fear through exposure, try telling a safe person your biggest darkest secrets. Leave nothing out, including the things about yourself which shame you. If that goes ok, do it again with someone else. I’ve heard support groups are fantastic for this process.

 

4. Stressful situations have you reaching for substances or sex

How you cope with stress is a great measure of self-confidence. Those who face it head on and fight through the battle build confidence quickly. Those who use the distractions of mind and body are just avoiding conflict, pain and failure due to fear. The most common ‘crutches’ I’ve seen for avoiding facing fear are nicotine, alcohol, illicit drugs, shopping, and compulsive sexual behaviour.

There is a huge difference between blowing off steam vs. hiding from your demons. When you reach for a pleasure-enhancing tool to avoid the pain of a situation, you are confirming to yourself that you cannot handle it. That’s hardly going to build your confidence is it?

 

Solution:

The simple truth is that you CAN handle it. But like the social isolation fear discussed earlier, the only way you will believe you can handle stressful situations is by handling stressful situations! Even when it doesn’t work out in your favour you can still say ‘I survived’, and that’s the key to self-confidence: ability to rely on yourself. So next time you are feeling particularly down or anxious about a situation, make a promise to yourself that you will not use any ‘crutch’ to get through it; you will face it on its own terms until it’s done. Then just note how easy and pain-free it actually was compared to how you predicted it going.

 

Super Challenge:

Forsake all coping crutches for two whole months. No substances, no sex or masturbation as a coping mechanism (positive sexual experiences based on good emotions are fine), no hitting the boxing bag to ‘work out’ your anger. Just clean living and facing your issues head-on without flinching or needing anything. Using other people for support is fine, the more the merrier, but you should be able to do it without them too if needed.

 

5. You mind-read

Is there anyone out there who doesn’t do this? I doubt it. ‘Mind-reading’ is when you try to guess or assume what a person is thinking. This mostly comes from a negative place, where you are trying to avoid their disapproval, conflict, or you are hateful towards them and need to justify it. All of these reasons are fear-based. A truly confident person does not mind-read because if they want to know what someone is thinking, they will ask. If they don’t ask, it’s because they don’t care. Simple life right?

Mind-reading causes huge problems. You can spend a whole night lying awake, fretting over why your crush was so cold to you at work, without realising that they were simply distracted by a family crisis and didn’t even notice you. Or you can develop a raw hatred towards someone because you think they are condescending towards you, when really they just have a facial bone-structure that makes them appear haughty and they’re actually shy around you because you intimidate them.

 

Solution:

Stop mind reading! It really is that simple. But of course to get out of this habit, you can follow a process. Try this for a week: every time you catch yourself assuming what another person is thinking, try to imagine an alternative and opposite explanation. For example, if you think someone is judging you for being shy, try imagining that they are actually admiring you for staying calm.

Force yourself to keep doing this until you really start questioning your ability to read minds, because I have a newsflash for you: YOU SUCK AT IT! We all do. I’m a coach with a psych degree and more than 7 years’ experience in rehabilitating offenders, and I still don’t have the slightest clue what people are thinking most of the time. That’s why I ask and reflect.

 

Super Challenge:

Ask people what they are thinking every time you find yourself mind-reading. Be really honest with your assumptions and even tell them you are trying to break a mind-reading habit (they will totally identify with the problem because they do it too, guaranteed). You might say something like ‘Hey John, I noticed you look a bit down today, I’m starting to feel nervous that you’re mad at me about something’. Yes, this can occasionally cause conflict, but at least it will end in truth rather than miscommunication, bitterness and lost opportunities.

 

Conclusion

I have done all of these super challenges myself, some of which I live with to this day (like the last one). I would not recommend them unless I was sure they work. They’ve worked for me and my clients alike, some of whom gave me these ideas. If you really want that nagging voice of guilt and low self-esteem to go away for good, then working on building your confidence and facing your fears is the path you need to take. You could spend 10 years searching for it, like I did, or you can try to chip away at these warning signs and make much quicker progress.

The choice is yours. Try asking yourself:

“What do I want to think of myself in 10 years from now? How much longer will I wait to put an end to my confidence issues?”

 

Dan is a lifestyle and success coach, with his own company The Inspirational Lifestyle Ltd. He lives in Auckland, New Zealand, and loves to share his advice and opinions on how to attain success. Make sure you checkout more of Dans articles at: TheInspirationalLifestyle.com

Advertisement
41 Comments

41 Comments

  1. Viky

    Jul 23, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    Hey Dan, Thanks for the tips.I am very motivated to apply these tips in my daily lifestyle. I am 20 years old and think I am in this condition from 2 to 3 years. And it has affected me in a lot of bad ways. I am strting this with commenting this time

  2. akhil satheesh

    Aug 11, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Great read sir. Could see myself in there, in all the examples u used.

  3. Justin

    Apr 20, 2015 at 6:45 am

    I’m 35 and all my life I’ve had severe confidence problems along with no friends and extreme isolation. Work has gotten unusually stressful lately and I keep thinking management is trying to put me in a situation where they can disempower me first and then fire me. This brings me down, so far down I feel like contemplating suicide because I have no one I can turn to for support when things get really tough. There’s no one out there I can confide in, and as always i am forced to just sleep it off and hope these manic polarizing feelings just go away.

  4. fhdfh

    Feb 23, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    i did what u said in my own life actually. i went ahead and did all these things i was afraid of and i ended up losing all my friends, all respect and the little confidence i had left in me. i guess i am the biggest freak anyone’s ever met. my fear of abandonment were confirmed over and over. i don’t think these are good ideas. there is a reason a human brain feels like it should be a certain way in cirtain situations and people. i still regret what happened till this day. if i knew the outcome, i would of never done these things and would of still had friends. i was afraid of this- of dying alone and when i went ahead and been honest with others, thats exactly what ended up happening.

    • Milan

      Dec 2, 2016 at 6:56 am

      I had the same problem. People started getting intimidated by the amount of confidence that I had. I lost one friend. I always had that “what if?” gut feeling. SO, MY CONFIDENCE IS UNABLE TO PRESENT IT SELF. It had been quite tough for me to expose my confidence because I feel like people will think I am projecting too much. The last time I had confidence people stared at me awfully and started whispering to each other.

      • Angus

        May 10, 2017 at 8:50 am

        But if you were confident, you wouldn’t care what they were whispering about

  5. Omo

    Jan 13, 2015 at 9:35 am

    I was searching related to the topic self confidence because i have issues regarding this one and I found this and I think all of these warning signs applies to me, especially that mind reading one and constantly checking my phone. I’m a graduating student, high school and I always feel like I’m being judged inside the classroom as in ALL THE TIME. I always assume people are looking at me that’s why my movements are limited and I try to becareful of what I do. I sit in front and I don’t look back because I’m too shy to do so. I’m a person who looks around and when me and someone make eye contact, I always assume that maybe he or she thinks im weird because he or she thinks i always look at him or her. Plus i’m always the target when me and my friends bully each other. Not in a bad way but I think it’s because I don’t stand up for myself. I’m always looking down when inside the classroom that’s why i didnt get to concentrate in class because I’m always assuming someone is judging and looking at me in class…. I don’t even know what to do anymore and I sometimes cry because of this confidence issue..

  6. Jo

    May 8, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Hi Dan
    I have just read your post, most of the time went I am alone in the party I try to take a look at my phone and try to distract my self and I really feel low most of the time even when I am out with my friends most the time. Feels like et I don’t care about look

    • Desmond

      Jul 10, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      Hi Dan,
      How would you suggest I apply some of these tactics to deal with a narcissistic father who will take every bit of opportunity to bring me down? I am talking about the kind who is successful and status oriented. The kind who will discourage you to dream Big and become ambitious, while he himself made it Big in his profession.

      Kind Regards,
      Desmond

      • Dan Munro

        Jul 20, 2014 at 5:15 am

        Hey Desmond, I’d need to know more about you. But one thing I can say for sure is that status is something we give to other people. He can only bring you down if YOU see him as being above you.

        Try imagining that he is lashing out at you because of his own fears. What might those fears be? What caused them? Do they actually have anything to do with you, or is it his problem? What would life be like if you saw him as someone who is scared rather than intimidating?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

Extraordinary Money Hacks So You Can Save For Your Dream.

Published

on

money small

I’ve had several times in my life with almost no money. During these times, I learned a few money hacks. It’s cool how having no money can actually teach you so much.

It’s not about being a tight ass either. Money is about understanding what business does to take money out of your pocket and it’s also a journey in understanding temptation.

 

Why save money?

Saving money is how you fund your dream. No matter what you want to achieve, you need to have some money put aside to make it happen. Having a small amount of money saved can do the following:

1. Help you deal with emergencies
2. Give you surplus cash to put towards your dream
3. Make you less stressed
4. Allow you to take a break

Here are the money hacks I’ve learned from going through hard times:

 

Rethink subscriptions.

Recurring revenue is the best source of income for your business. On the flipside, subscriptions will make you broke. The whole subscription model is designed to take advantage of you being lazy. Most of the subscriptions you have, you don’t need.

I find that one time purchases for things I don’t use a lot is actually better. Make a note of all of your subscriptions and then cull as many as you can.

 

Books instead of Netflix and movies.

Netflix and movies can use up your capital and they generally give you nothing. Replace these two media forms for books. Books are cheaper in the long run and if you focus on reading biographies and books that provide real strategies, you’ll become smarter too.

 

Go to the supermarket instead of the shopping mall.

Walking into a giant shopping center with all of your favorite brands is a disaster. You’re guaranteed to buy stuff you don’t need and temptation is likely to take over. The only shopping you have to do every week is your grocery shopping.

Visit the supermarket that’s not in a shopping mall and then you’ll be focused on buying things to fill your stomach, instead of your wardrobe.

 

People won’t remember what you’re wearing.

There’s this myth that we have to wear something new all of the time. The harsh reality is that most people won’t remember what you’re wearing anyway because they’re so focused on their own appearance and problems.

None of us need as many clothes as we have. Culling the size of your wardrobe will save you lots of money.

 

Buying petrol.

There are cheap times to get petrol and expensive times to get petrol. In my area, I find that every four weeks, petrol is cheaper than the other weeks. So, being smart about when you fill up can save you lots of money. Obviously, aim for the times when petrol is low.

 

Going out to restaurants.

Those of us who have worked in restaurants know that most of the profit is made on drinks, not the food. Most of the drinks you buy when you’re out for dinner are not good for you. The only real liquid you need is water. So, when going to restaurants, skip the drinks and focus on the food.

 

Getting around.

Driving everywhere is expensive. Try sharing an Uber with friends or taking public transport.

Parking is expensive and most of the time the car takes longer.

Use the frequent car trips you make to have someone else do the driving and then download some podcasts so you can educate yourself.

 

Car servicing.

This whole industry is a bit of a scam. The idea is to make you think that everything needs to be consistently maintained and replaced otherwise you’ll end up lost in the desert with no way home, and you may even die of starvation.

The only two things you must do on a car every year is changing the oil and the oil filter. Watch some Youtube videos on when to change your tires and brakes because most mechanic shops will tell you that you need to change them when you don’t.

 

Credit cards.

They’re evil. You don’t need the reward points and the benefits of not having one are far greater. Get a debit card instead. Credit cards give you a false sense of your true financial position. You will mess up. That’s how the credit card game is designed.

 

Book holidays in advance.

We all need to take a break at least a few times a year. The cheapest way to do this is to book in advance. Plan when your holidays are going to be and then book them, so you get more choice, and more chances to spot a deal.

I’ve recently used Airbnb a lot more and that’s halved my accommodation costs. The only challenge with the platform is that the good properties sell out early so you must book in advance.

Also, consider whether you are going to stay local or go overseas. In my country, it’s cheaper to go overseas than it is to travel within Australia.

 


Don’t join mailing lists for deals.

An IT guy told me the other day to sign up for all of the retailers mailing lists because then I will see more deals. This is the worst advice ever! These mailing lists will make you develop a habit of making impulse purchases and looking for things you don’t need.

“You don’t need access to more deals; what you need is to spend less and avoid temptation”

 

Let loose one day a month.

If you’re a scrooge every day of the week, you’ll get tired of it and eventually quit. The best way to be good with money is to have one day a month where you can let loose a bit and indulge on one or two things. Just don’t undo all of your hard work by going out of control.

 

Donate or volunteer.

Puts your BS money problems into perspective. The best way I’ve found to save money towards my dream is to meet people who have nothing.

“Once you put your finances into perspective by being around the homeless and people that are going through terrible tragedies, you’ll know why you are saving in the first place”

More importantly, being exposed to people in rough places will make you want to give some money away. This charitable act will make you a better person which is far more important than how much money you have.

 


***Final Thought***

So that’s what I did folks when I had no money. That’s how I saved money towards my dream which I’m now living.

Be smarter with your money.
Save for your dream.
Be a good human and give money or time to people who need your help.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

Published

on

habits

For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success.

Due to the fact that most people are only interested in “quick fixes,” the marketplace, especially in personal and professional growth, has focused on selling the idea of magic bullets and instant productivity spells aimed at luring you into whatever product they want you to buy.

However, there are those who seem to be focused on the long game, the grand vision. I spent a significant amount of time and money several years ago learning from one of the world’s leading high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard.

At a time when the highway to online success seemed grim and too advanced for me to tackle on my own, Brendon Burchard’s weekly mentoring, encouragement and training on how to speak my voice regardless of my past played a major role in the birth of my business. 

In fact, to a great extent, his ideas still continue to positively impact my life which is why the scientifically based research he revealed on habits helping shape world-class individuals resonates with me tremendously. 

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out the kind of habits you need in order to achieve significant success in any area of life – now is the best time to do so. 

As this year ripens into full maturity you need to make sure you end it bigger and better than it started. More importantly, you need to make sure the coming year is already primed for even greater growth and success.

How do you do this without driving yourself insane? How do you become extraordinary at whatever it is you desire to accomplish? What are the specific habits you can deploy today to become a high performer?

After three years of extensive data and research from dozens of countries, here are a few of the success producing habits now being backed by science:

1. Seek more clarity

This is a habit few ever consciously develop. No wonder overwhelm and confusion are considered normal. Start asking yourself high-quality questions on a daily basis enabling you to discern truth in your life. Approach your daily activities with greater intention and razor-sharp focus.

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.” – Erwin McManus

2. Learn to generate energy

If you want to enjoy sustainable success and ever increasing prosperity, you can’t afford to be bogged down by fatigue, loss of enthusiasm and lethargy. When was the last time you went seven straight days feeling energized, enthusiastic and ready to crush it in your personal and professional life?

Mental, emotional, and physical energy is something you must deliberately and consciously learn to create and imbue into the world if you don’t want to burn out. This is how you’ll learn to cultivate and generate more positive emotions and interactions with other people as well as your daily activities.

3. Raise your standards and expectations

Setting the right expectations for your life and business is a must. Most people have big dreams but very low standards and even lower expectations for themselves. There’s a mindset shift that’s required here because your results will never outperform the standards you’ve set for yourself.

To be a high performing individual in your chosen field, you will have to make excellence your new norm. Brendon Burchard frames it differently, he teaches it as increasing your performance necessity levels. Why is this important?

Unless your brain and entire being perceive it as your normal standard, unleashing the leader within you and becoming your best self will feel more like forced labor which will not be sustainable.

Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” – Cecily Morgan

4. Increase your productivity

Productivity is a hot topic with almost every motivational speaker. But do you really know what you need to do to increase your productivity? Or are you just running through the motions of listening to outside opinions trying to imitate what works for others, in the hopes that it’ll work for you too?

Every ambitious success seeker understands the importance of being productive. Few are actually able to do it effectively, consistently and toward meaningful work. As you learn to integrate the first three habits into your life, it will feel more natural and effortless to increase output and do work that matters.

If you want to crush it day in day out, week after week in your primary field of interest then it is time to learn effective strategies and tactics that align with your goals, your values and simultaneously make you more productive. Thanks to technology, this is not only possible, it’s doable.

While this isn’t the comprehensive list of habits that can make you “get the edge” in life and finally out-perform others in your space, you now have a solid starting ground for simple things you can start doing today to become a high performer.

Now I would love to hear from you, did any of these habits resonate with you? Do you have any suggestion of your own that has proven effective? Comment below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Steps to Increasing Your Confidence for Good

Published

on

confidence

As an ambitious person on the road to success, you know first hand how challenging it is to achieve your lofty goals. Let’s be honest, the road to success is littered with potholes and unexpected curves.

You need a consistent feeling of confidence if you want to make it to the finish line and rise victoriously. That’s why in this article, you’re going to learn the most simple and effective 3-step sequence to help you increase your confidence for good.

1. Learn One Thing

As an informed reader here, we’re skipping past the part where we harp on the importance of taking action for building confidence. You already took action by reading this article with the desire to get better. Perhaps, you made the sales call, pressed publish on your new post, did the interview, or pitched your idea.

But now it’s time to immediately learn one thing from the action you just took. The second after you take action, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can learn from this, to ensure I get a better result next time?”

If you’ve read Gary Keller’s powerful book, The One Thing, you know success isn’t about trying to do a million things. It’s about doing one thing — exceptionally. Similarly, instead of trying to derive 86 lessons from that sales call you just finished, start learning simply the number one best thing you can.

Here in step one, you do so by asking yourself the aforementioned question. It works like magic. When you ask yourself a question, your brain outputs an answer. This only happens if you start this sequence immediately after you take action — regardless of the result.

Extraordinary results happen only when you give the best you have to become the best you can be at your most important work.” – Gary Keller

2. Validate Yourself

In step two, take the time to validate yourself with positive self talk. Tell yourself, “Nice job. That took courage. Let’s keep going, baby. I’m going to do this. I’ve got this.” The key here is to speak to yourself positively and authentically. Speak to yourself the way a great mentor, coach, or friend would. Remember too, in this step, you are not pumping yourself up with empty affirmations or false hope.

You are validating yourself because you took action and you learned from that action. This deserves credit. By practicing the act of self validation here in step two, you train yourself to remain confident regardless of whether or not you achieved or came up short.

Validate yourself whether you land the client or fail to do so. Most don’t do this, it’s why they lack confidence. But you? You act, learn, then validate yourself, regardless of the external result. This trains you to feel good about yourself no matter what people say about you.

While most people crumble when they don’t get the results they desired, you feel confident even when you lose this battle. You know that the campaign is long, and, if you keep learning, you’ll get accomplish the goals you desire in the end.

3. Repeat the Action

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.” Carnegie said it best and it’s why step three is a simple call to action — to repeat the action you just took. By repeating the action as soon as possible, you don’t give yourself time to ruminate or overthink.

In step one, you learned one important, personalized nugget of wisdom that’ll help you perform better from now on. Then in step two, you validated yourself with positive self talk — reminding yourself that by continuing to take persistent action, success is inevitable.

Now? There’s nothing left to say. Without delay, it’s time to get back on the horse and take another crack at it! Your confidence continues to grow as you take more actions, learn more from those actions, and remind yourself that you’re a champ for taking all these actions!

“Don’t let small thinking cut your life down to size. Think big, aim high, act bold. And see just how big you can blow up your life.” – Gary Keller

Why This 3-Step Sequence Increases Your Confidence for Good

By repeating this sequence, you gain important knowledge, continuously remind yourself of your positive traits, and most importantly — you desensitize yourself to any fears you once had.

You’re going to fall in love with this process of taking action. Whether that action for you is making sales calls, pitching your startup to investors, interviewing for competitive positions, or publishing new content online, the more you act using these 3-steps, the more confident you’ll become.

A key side benefit of using this sequence is you quickly enter a massive, perpetual state of action. This all but guarantees you increased real world results. These improved results become the cherry on top to your core confidence.

When you lack confidence, how do you find the confidence you need again? Let us know by commenting below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Ingredients to Create the Life of Your Dreams

Published

on

how to create the life of your dreams

Let’s bake a cake! This recipe calls for three simple ingredients: one cup of Courage, two tablespoons of Initiative, and three teaspoons of Will. You can put the money, education, and physical attractiveness back in the refrigerator. They can help improve the taste or quality, but they are not required to bake this cake. The cake is a metaphor for the life of your dreams. If you want to create massive achievement in your life, you will need to obtain courage, initiative, and will.

The main ingredients of courage, initiative, and will are fundamental to long term-achievement. You need the courage to start. The initiative is necessary to think outside the box. Will is required to continue when it gets tough.

Whether we are talking about achieving long-term happiness via a personal relationship or individual experiences, the ingredients mentioned above can significantly increase your chances of obtaining the life of your dreams. You aren’t born with courage, initiative, or will. In fact, you are born with fear, reluctance, and other mechanisms designed to keep you safe. However, with an intentional mindset guided by positive optimism, these characteristics can be grown and cultivated in a garden of possibilities for your life!  

How can you acquire courage, initiative, and will? Check out my 3 tips below:

1. Travel or better yet move out of the country

Yes, I will give you a moment to reread the line above. My first recommendation is for you to travel or ideally move out of the country! Travel and undeniably relocating outside of the country you were born in, requires courage. You must be brave to face the unknown, and there is no better way to do this other than to get out of your comfortable home environment and see the world. The experiences with traveling or moving will automatically build the courage within you to reach toward the achievements that you desire in life.  

“Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

2. Learn a new language

Ideally, with the recommendation from number one, you will choose a location where a language other than your native tongue is spoken. With language acquisition, the learner must develop a spirit of initiative to do something that is not required. You can live your entire life and only communicate in one language, or you can expand your horizon and do something different. To become fluent in a new language will not be easy; the life of your dreams is worth the fight. The process of learning a language will attract the necessary skill set that accompanies initiative and ties in within my final recommendation.

3. Fail as often as possible

In traveling and undeniably with learning a new language, you will make mistakes. If you are not failing in the process of adjusting to a different culture, which will occur in traveling and language acquisition, you are doing something wrong! You must fail to adapt and ideally this will happen as frequent as possible. This does not mean that you look to fail. It does mean that you understand failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure builds your ability to develop the power of will. Possessing will can enable you to learn from your mistakes, improve, and keep pushing toward the achievements that can create the life of your dreams.  

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

If you put courage, initiative, and will into the oven responsible for making your dreams become a reality, you will be successful. It will not be easy. Occasionally you will become frustrated and want to open the door and see what’s taking so long for the cake or the life you desire. However, just stay the course and allow courage, initiative, and will to blend and bring into fruition the life of your dreams.

What other ingredients would you add?  Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending

Success Advice

It’s So Easy To Find The Negative in Everything. But What’s The Point?

Published

on

Last week, I posted a photo on LinkedIn that showed Keanu Reeves and his generosity.

The post went semi-viral, and people really loved it.

Well almost everyone. There were the 1% of haters.

The highlight of the post is that Keanu takes the train to a lot of places with normal people like you and I, and is not into fancy things. He’s donated most of his money to good causes including leukemia.

The haters wanted to tear Keanu down because how dare he own a house in LA (allegedly).

 

Being right is not the answer.

Whether Keanu does or doesn’t still own a house in LA doesn’t matter. Trying to always be right can force you to be negative. You end up adopting the mindset that everybody is wrong, and you’re smart – and the world is just one big lie.

This mindset can slowly create a self-destructive nature to the way you do life.

 

How do you know you’re 100% right?

There are no absolutes in life. Not everything is as black and white as you think. Maybe Keanu had a house and sold it. Maybe the house doesn’t belong to him. Maybe he shares the house with three Air Bnb travelers and so technically the mortgage is shared.

You just don’t know everything.
Google and Wikipedia are often wrong.
Focus on positivity instead of always being right.

Keanu Reeves on the train.

 

This negative way of thinking serves no one. Least of all you.

Negatively tearing people down all the time is affecting your own mindset which equals your success in the long term. It may seem like an innocent comment that you’ve written on someone’s post, but it shapes the way you think. You can’t help not be affected by trash talking good people like Keanu.

When you stand up and want to work on your goal, you end up being drained of energy from all the negativity you’ve put out.

“If you want to get mad, get mad at your goals and why you haven’t achieved them!”

 

Use your time better.

Don’t you have something else to do other than commenting on social media? Instead of fact-checking the entire world, you’re better off switching off social media and chipping away at your dream. If you love cars, spend your time there. If you love art, create some.

Focus on creating and not consuming.

 

Your network suffers too.

Your habit of being negative and wasting your time worrying about Keanu’s financial stats is repelling good people out of your life. People are watching you shoot your mouth off and are subconsciously thinking “Maybe I’ll leave this person alone. This doesn’t feel good.”

As humans, we want to feel good. Being positive feels good and you attract the right people. Slamming people on social media to make yourself feel good makes everyone else feel like garbage. If you wonder why you have no friends or your current friends suck, this is part of the reason.

The good news is you can change it. Focus on the positive.

 

Remember your EGO.

Finding the negative often occurs when your ego is out of control. Your need to be right is linked to the idea that maybe you think you’re really smart. Your ego being too big contributes to your need to correct people and be negative.

“Your inflated ego and your negative mindset are in love with each other. Break them up – for good!”

 

***Final Thought***

This is not a post about social media and trolling. If you thought that then I’m sorry.

My aim here is to get you to remember why you do what you do. I want you to focus your time on being positive and fighting the raging tsunami that is negativity which we’re all having a daily sword fight with.

Positivity is power. Positivity is success. Publish positivity.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

Advertisement
41 Comments

41 Comments

  1. Viky

    Jul 23, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    Hey Dan, Thanks for the tips.I am very motivated to apply these tips in my daily lifestyle. I am 20 years old and think I am in this condition from 2 to 3 years. And it has affected me in a lot of bad ways. I am strting this with commenting this time

  2. akhil satheesh

    Aug 11, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Great read sir. Could see myself in there, in all the examples u used.

  3. Justin

    Apr 20, 2015 at 6:45 am

    I’m 35 and all my life I’ve had severe confidence problems along with no friends and extreme isolation. Work has gotten unusually stressful lately and I keep thinking management is trying to put me in a situation where they can disempower me first and then fire me. This brings me down, so far down I feel like contemplating suicide because I have no one I can turn to for support when things get really tough. There’s no one out there I can confide in, and as always i am forced to just sleep it off and hope these manic polarizing feelings just go away.

  4. fhdfh

    Feb 23, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    i did what u said in my own life actually. i went ahead and did all these things i was afraid of and i ended up losing all my friends, all respect and the little confidence i had left in me. i guess i am the biggest freak anyone’s ever met. my fear of abandonment were confirmed over and over. i don’t think these are good ideas. there is a reason a human brain feels like it should be a certain way in cirtain situations and people. i still regret what happened till this day. if i knew the outcome, i would of never done these things and would of still had friends. i was afraid of this- of dying alone and when i went ahead and been honest with others, thats exactly what ended up happening.

    • Milan

      Dec 2, 2016 at 6:56 am

      I had the same problem. People started getting intimidated by the amount of confidence that I had. I lost one friend. I always had that “what if?” gut feeling. SO, MY CONFIDENCE IS UNABLE TO PRESENT IT SELF. It had been quite tough for me to expose my confidence because I feel like people will think I am projecting too much. The last time I had confidence people stared at me awfully and started whispering to each other.

      • Angus

        May 10, 2017 at 8:50 am

        But if you were confident, you wouldn’t care what they were whispering about

  5. Omo

    Jan 13, 2015 at 9:35 am

    I was searching related to the topic self confidence because i have issues regarding this one and I found this and I think all of these warning signs applies to me, especially that mind reading one and constantly checking my phone. I’m a graduating student, high school and I always feel like I’m being judged inside the classroom as in ALL THE TIME. I always assume people are looking at me that’s why my movements are limited and I try to becareful of what I do. I sit in front and I don’t look back because I’m too shy to do so. I’m a person who looks around and when me and someone make eye contact, I always assume that maybe he or she thinks im weird because he or she thinks i always look at him or her. Plus i’m always the target when me and my friends bully each other. Not in a bad way but I think it’s because I don’t stand up for myself. I’m always looking down when inside the classroom that’s why i didnt get to concentrate in class because I’m always assuming someone is judging and looking at me in class…. I don’t even know what to do anymore and I sometimes cry because of this confidence issue..

  6. Jo

    May 8, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Hi Dan
    I have just read your post, most of the time went I am alone in the party I try to take a look at my phone and try to distract my self and I really feel low most of the time even when I am out with my friends most the time. Feels like et I don’t care about look

    • Desmond

      Jul 10, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      Hi Dan,
      How would you suggest I apply some of these tactics to deal with a narcissistic father who will take every bit of opportunity to bring me down? I am talking about the kind who is successful and status oriented. The kind who will discourage you to dream Big and become ambitious, while he himself made it Big in his profession.

      Kind Regards,
      Desmond

      • Dan Munro

        Jul 20, 2014 at 5:15 am

        Hey Desmond, I’d need to know more about you. But one thing I can say for sure is that status is something we give to other people. He can only bring you down if YOU see him as being above you.

        Try imagining that he is lashing out at you because of his own fears. What might those fears be? What caused them? Do they actually have anything to do with you, or is it his problem? What would life be like if you saw him as someone who is scared rather than intimidating?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

Extraordinary Money Hacks So You Can Save For Your Dream.

Published

on

money small

I’ve had several times in my life with almost no money. During these times, I learned a few money hacks. It’s cool how having no money can actually teach you so much.

It’s not about being a tight ass either. Money is about understanding what business does to take money out of your pocket and it’s also a journey in understanding temptation.

 

Why save money?

Saving money is how you fund your dream. No matter what you want to achieve, you need to have some money put aside to make it happen. Having a small amount of money saved can do the following:

1. Help you deal with emergencies
2. Give you surplus cash to put towards your dream
3. Make you less stressed
4. Allow you to take a break

Here are the money hacks I’ve learned from going through hard times:

 

Rethink subscriptions.

Recurring revenue is the best source of income for your business. On the flipside, subscriptions will make you broke. The whole subscription model is designed to take advantage of you being lazy. Most of the subscriptions you have, you don’t need.

I find that one time purchases for things I don’t use a lot is actually better. Make a note of all of your subscriptions and then cull as many as you can.

 

Books instead of Netflix and movies.

Netflix and movies can use up your capital and they generally give you nothing. Replace these two media forms for books. Books are cheaper in the long run and if you focus on reading biographies and books that provide real strategies, you’ll become smarter too.

 

Go to the supermarket instead of the shopping mall.

Walking into a giant shopping center with all of your favorite brands is a disaster. You’re guaranteed to buy stuff you don’t need and temptation is likely to take over. The only shopping you have to do every week is your grocery shopping.

Visit the supermarket that’s not in a shopping mall and then you’ll be focused on buying things to fill your stomach, instead of your wardrobe.

 

People won’t remember what you’re wearing.

There’s this myth that we have to wear something new all of the time. The harsh reality is that most people won’t remember what you’re wearing anyway because they’re so focused on their own appearance and problems.

None of us need as many clothes as we have. Culling the size of your wardrobe will save you lots of money.

 

Buying petrol.

There are cheap times to get petrol and expensive times to get petrol. In my area, I find that every four weeks, petrol is cheaper than the other weeks. So, being smart about when you fill up can save you lots of money. Obviously, aim for the times when petrol is low.

 

Going out to restaurants.

Those of us who have worked in restaurants know that most of the profit is made on drinks, not the food. Most of the drinks you buy when you’re out for dinner are not good for you. The only real liquid you need is water. So, when going to restaurants, skip the drinks and focus on the food.

 

Getting around.

Driving everywhere is expensive. Try sharing an Uber with friends or taking public transport.

Parking is expensive and most of the time the car takes longer.

Use the frequent car trips you make to have someone else do the driving and then download some podcasts so you can educate yourself.

 

Car servicing.

This whole industry is a bit of a scam. The idea is to make you think that everything needs to be consistently maintained and replaced otherwise you’ll end up lost in the desert with no way home, and you may even die of starvation.

The only two things you must do on a car every year is changing the oil and the oil filter. Watch some Youtube videos on when to change your tires and brakes because most mechanic shops will tell you that you need to change them when you don’t.

 

Credit cards.

They’re evil. You don’t need the reward points and the benefits of not having one are far greater. Get a debit card instead. Credit cards give you a false sense of your true financial position. You will mess up. That’s how the credit card game is designed.

 

Book holidays in advance.

We all need to take a break at least a few times a year. The cheapest way to do this is to book in advance. Plan when your holidays are going to be and then book them, so you get more choice, and more chances to spot a deal.

I’ve recently used Airbnb a lot more and that’s halved my accommodation costs. The only challenge with the platform is that the good properties sell out early so you must book in advance.

Also, consider whether you are going to stay local or go overseas. In my country, it’s cheaper to go overseas than it is to travel within Australia.

 


Don’t join mailing lists for deals.

An IT guy told me the other day to sign up for all of the retailers mailing lists because then I will see more deals. This is the worst advice ever! These mailing lists will make you develop a habit of making impulse purchases and looking for things you don’t need.

“You don’t need access to more deals; what you need is to spend less and avoid temptation”

 

Let loose one day a month.

If you’re a scrooge every day of the week, you’ll get tired of it and eventually quit. The best way to be good with money is to have one day a month where you can let loose a bit and indulge on one or two things. Just don’t undo all of your hard work by going out of control.

 

Donate or volunteer.

Puts your BS money problems into perspective. The best way I’ve found to save money towards my dream is to meet people who have nothing.

“Once you put your finances into perspective by being around the homeless and people that are going through terrible tragedies, you’ll know why you are saving in the first place”

More importantly, being exposed to people in rough places will make you want to give some money away. This charitable act will make you a better person which is far more important than how much money you have.

 


***Final Thought***

So that’s what I did folks when I had no money. That’s how I saved money towards my dream which I’m now living.

Be smarter with your money.
Save for your dream.
Be a good human and give money or time to people who need your help.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

Published

on

habits

For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success.

Due to the fact that most people are only interested in “quick fixes,” the marketplace, especially in personal and professional growth, has focused on selling the idea of magic bullets and instant productivity spells aimed at luring you into whatever product they want you to buy.

However, there are those who seem to be focused on the long game, the grand vision. I spent a significant amount of time and money several years ago learning from one of the world’s leading high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard.

At a time when the highway to online success seemed grim and too advanced for me to tackle on my own, Brendon Burchard’s weekly mentoring, encouragement and training on how to speak my voice regardless of my past played a major role in the birth of my business. 

In fact, to a great extent, his ideas still continue to positively impact my life which is why the scientifically based research he revealed on habits helping shape world-class individuals resonates with me tremendously. 

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out the kind of habits you need in order to achieve significant success in any area of life – now is the best time to do so. 

As this year ripens into full maturity you need to make sure you end it bigger and better than it started. More importantly, you need to make sure the coming year is already primed for even greater growth and success.

How do you do this without driving yourself insane? How do you become extraordinary at whatever it is you desire to accomplish? What are the specific habits you can deploy today to become a high performer?

After three years of extensive data and research from dozens of countries, here are a few of the success producing habits now being backed by science:

1. Seek more clarity

This is a habit few ever consciously develop. No wonder overwhelm and confusion are considered normal. Start asking yourself high-quality questions on a daily basis enabling you to discern truth in your life. Approach your daily activities with greater intention and razor-sharp focus.

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.” – Erwin McManus

2. Learn to generate energy

If you want to enjoy sustainable success and ever increasing prosperity, you can’t afford to be bogged down by fatigue, loss of enthusiasm and lethargy. When was the last time you went seven straight days feeling energized, enthusiastic and ready to crush it in your personal and professional life?

Mental, emotional, and physical energy is something you must deliberately and consciously learn to create and imbue into the world if you don’t want to burn out. This is how you’ll learn to cultivate and generate more positive emotions and interactions with other people as well as your daily activities.

3. Raise your standards and expectations

Setting the right expectations for your life and business is a must. Most people have big dreams but very low standards and even lower expectations for themselves. There’s a mindset shift that’s required here because your results will never outperform the standards you’ve set for yourself.

To be a high performing individual in your chosen field, you will have to make excellence your new norm. Brendon Burchard frames it differently, he teaches it as increasing your performance necessity levels. Why is this important?

Unless your brain and entire being perceive it as your normal standard, unleashing the leader within you and becoming your best self will feel more like forced labor which will not be sustainable.

Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” – Cecily Morgan

4. Increase your productivity

Productivity is a hot topic with almost every motivational speaker. But do you really know what you need to do to increase your productivity? Or are you just running through the motions of listening to outside opinions trying to imitate what works for others, in the hopes that it’ll work for you too?

Every ambitious success seeker understands the importance of being productive. Few are actually able to do it effectively, consistently and toward meaningful work. As you learn to integrate the first three habits into your life, it will feel more natural and effortless to increase output and do work that matters.

If you want to crush it day in day out, week after week in your primary field of interest then it is time to learn effective strategies and tactics that align with your goals, your values and simultaneously make you more productive. Thanks to technology, this is not only possible, it’s doable.

While this isn’t the comprehensive list of habits that can make you “get the edge” in life and finally out-perform others in your space, you now have a solid starting ground for simple things you can start doing today to become a high performer.

Now I would love to hear from you, did any of these habits resonate with you? Do you have any suggestion of your own that has proven effective? Comment below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Steps to Increasing Your Confidence for Good

Published

on

confidence

As an ambitious person on the road to success, you know first hand how challenging it is to achieve your lofty goals. Let’s be honest, the road to success is littered with potholes and unexpected curves.

You need a consistent feeling of confidence if you want to make it to the finish line and rise victoriously. That’s why in this article, you’re going to learn the most simple and effective 3-step sequence to help you increase your confidence for good.

1. Learn One Thing

As an informed reader here, we’re skipping past the part where we harp on the importance of taking action for building confidence. You already took action by reading this article with the desire to get better. Perhaps, you made the sales call, pressed publish on your new post, did the interview, or pitched your idea.

But now it’s time to immediately learn one thing from the action you just took. The second after you take action, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can learn from this, to ensure I get a better result next time?”

If you’ve read Gary Keller’s powerful book, The One Thing, you know success isn’t about trying to do a million things. It’s about doing one thing — exceptionally. Similarly, instead of trying to derive 86 lessons from that sales call you just finished, start learning simply the number one best thing you can.

Here in step one, you do so by asking yourself the aforementioned question. It works like magic. When you ask yourself a question, your brain outputs an answer. This only happens if you start this sequence immediately after you take action — regardless of the result.

Extraordinary results happen only when you give the best you have to become the best you can be at your most important work.” – Gary Keller

2. Validate Yourself

In step two, take the time to validate yourself with positive self talk. Tell yourself, “Nice job. That took courage. Let’s keep going, baby. I’m going to do this. I’ve got this.” The key here is to speak to yourself positively and authentically. Speak to yourself the way a great mentor, coach, or friend would. Remember too, in this step, you are not pumping yourself up with empty affirmations or false hope.

You are validating yourself because you took action and you learned from that action. This deserves credit. By practicing the act of self validation here in step two, you train yourself to remain confident regardless of whether or not you achieved or came up short.

Validate yourself whether you land the client or fail to do so. Most don’t do this, it’s why they lack confidence. But you? You act, learn, then validate yourself, regardless of the external result. This trains you to feel good about yourself no matter what people say about you.

While most people crumble when they don’t get the results they desired, you feel confident even when you lose this battle. You know that the campaign is long, and, if you keep learning, you’ll get accomplish the goals you desire in the end.

3. Repeat the Action

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.” Carnegie said it best and it’s why step three is a simple call to action — to repeat the action you just took. By repeating the action as soon as possible, you don’t give yourself time to ruminate or overthink.

In step one, you learned one important, personalized nugget of wisdom that’ll help you perform better from now on. Then in step two, you validated yourself with positive self talk — reminding yourself that by continuing to take persistent action, success is inevitable.

Now? There’s nothing left to say. Without delay, it’s time to get back on the horse and take another crack at it! Your confidence continues to grow as you take more actions, learn more from those actions, and remind yourself that you’re a champ for taking all these actions!

“Don’t let small thinking cut your life down to size. Think big, aim high, act bold. And see just how big you can blow up your life.” – Gary Keller

Why This 3-Step Sequence Increases Your Confidence for Good

By repeating this sequence, you gain important knowledge, continuously remind yourself of your positive traits, and most importantly — you desensitize yourself to any fears you once had.

You’re going to fall in love with this process of taking action. Whether that action for you is making sales calls, pitching your startup to investors, interviewing for competitive positions, or publishing new content online, the more you act using these 3-steps, the more confident you’ll become.

A key side benefit of using this sequence is you quickly enter a massive, perpetual state of action. This all but guarantees you increased real world results. These improved results become the cherry on top to your core confidence.

When you lack confidence, how do you find the confidence you need again? Let us know by commenting below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Ingredients to Create the Life of Your Dreams

Published

on

how to create the life of your dreams

Let’s bake a cake! This recipe calls for three simple ingredients: one cup of Courage, two tablespoons of Initiative, and three teaspoons of Will. You can put the money, education, and physical attractiveness back in the refrigerator. They can help improve the taste or quality, but they are not required to bake this cake. The cake is a metaphor for the life of your dreams. If you want to create massive achievement in your life, you will need to obtain courage, initiative, and will.

The main ingredients of courage, initiative, and will are fundamental to long term-achievement. You need the courage to start. The initiative is necessary to think outside the box. Will is required to continue when it gets tough.

Whether we are talking about achieving long-term happiness via a personal relationship or individual experiences, the ingredients mentioned above can significantly increase your chances of obtaining the life of your dreams. You aren’t born with courage, initiative, or will. In fact, you are born with fear, reluctance, and other mechanisms designed to keep you safe. However, with an intentional mindset guided by positive optimism, these characteristics can be grown and cultivated in a garden of possibilities for your life!  

How can you acquire courage, initiative, and will? Check out my 3 tips below:

1. Travel or better yet move out of the country

Yes, I will give you a moment to reread the line above. My first recommendation is for you to travel or ideally move out of the country! Travel and undeniably relocating outside of the country you were born in, requires courage. You must be brave to face the unknown, and there is no better way to do this other than to get out of your comfortable home environment and see the world. The experiences with traveling or moving will automatically build the courage within you to reach toward the achievements that you desire in life.  

“Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

2. Learn a new language

Ideally, with the recommendation from number one, you will choose a location where a language other than your native tongue is spoken. With language acquisition, the learner must develop a spirit of initiative to do something that is not required. You can live your entire life and only communicate in one language, or you can expand your horizon and do something different. To become fluent in a new language will not be easy; the life of your dreams is worth the fight. The process of learning a language will attract the necessary skill set that accompanies initiative and ties in within my final recommendation.

3. Fail as often as possible

In traveling and undeniably with learning a new language, you will make mistakes. If you are not failing in the process of adjusting to a different culture, which will occur in traveling and language acquisition, you are doing something wrong! You must fail to adapt and ideally this will happen as frequent as possible. This does not mean that you look to fail. It does mean that you understand failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure builds your ability to develop the power of will. Possessing will can enable you to learn from your mistakes, improve, and keep pushing toward the achievements that can create the life of your dreams.  

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

If you put courage, initiative, and will into the oven responsible for making your dreams become a reality, you will be successful. It will not be easy. Occasionally you will become frustrated and want to open the door and see what’s taking so long for the cake or the life you desire. However, just stay the course and allow courage, initiative, and will to blend and bring into fruition the life of your dreams.

What other ingredients would you add?  Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending