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4 Ways You Can Be More True To Yourself

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Have you ever worked hard towards a goal only to feel that those around you either distanced themselves or are opinionated and un-supportive about what you are doing?

Well, my friends…..welcome to success.

 

 

Less is More

Many years ago, I implemented changes into my life and was dedicated to seeing them through. Weighing 95Kgs, suffering heavy depression, anger and alcoholism, I had come to a point where things had to change as I was headed for nowhere.  Quitting alcohol cold turkey and hiring a personal trainer, my focus became primarily on the vision of gaining a better life for myself. You would think that knowing the state I was in, that all people would be supportive in the new direction I had taken, however that is to be naive. It took only a few months for many friends to drop off and for the uninvited negative slander that came my way. Some people, even deliberately tried to sabotage my early stages of achievement.

Whilst disappointed at first with those who could not understand the importance of my dedication to a new life, I had to quickly learn not to take things too personal. Why? Because if I took into consideration the conflicting opinions and unsupportive behavior of others, I would have placed my values second best and most likely forfeited my goals.

After enormous amounts of time, energy and commitment, I lost 35kg’s (77 pounds), defeated depression and have been without alcohol for 4 years. Along side combatting these, I have gained an entire new life of true happiness and have never looked back. With time, the return of friends I thought I had lost reentered my life.

 

Quality Over Quantity

Friends and people are of utter importance, but the distancing or elimination of those who distract, hold us back and fill our minds with negativity, is a positive step in the right direction.  It seems harsh, but it is unnecessary to make excuses for those who do not allow us to be ourselves in the way we choose. What humanity at times fails to remember is that we are all unique in our form, thoughts and desires, which is enough reason to do individually what we need to do.

The fear of loneliness or loss is a roadblock in the journey of success. If we desire to have our dreams come true and be focused, it comes with a price – at first. Letting go of people who stand in our way, in time highlights those who are backing us all the way. We begin to see who is with us no matter what stage we are in life and we are able to form stronger friendships that enable us to be ourselves without feeling bad.

People who dislike or sometimes unknowingly discourage our changes, positive outcomes and success, have issues of their own. Perhaps they feel threatened, insecure, challenged, jealous and/or weren’t true friends to begin with. Learning to respond to these types of personalities, with gentleness and without taking offence, can leave the door open for future friendship and being a possible support or inspiration to them. It also allows us not to take on burdens of those who do not approve.

 

Shoe on the other foot

All of us at some point have made an opinion on another being, due to where we stand. Perhaps next time we want to share our opinion with someone who is striving towards their goals, we need to remember the difference between those who support us and those who oppose us.

Are we being the friend who allows or tries to hold someone back?

 

You

Placing ourselves as number one is unselfish, if what we are aiming for betters our life, health, relationships and existence.  To have a vision, does not mean that everyone needs to be onboard with it. If it is in your heart, follow your heart. Time spent alone, to listen to the inner voice in keeping your compass pointing in your own direction, also roots a deep friendship with yourself – the one who can support you the most.

Free yourself of the ties that prevent you from being you and you will thank yourself that you stopped for no one.

 

true to yourself

Anjelica is a hopeful and positive writer with a mission to help and inspire others to better their lives. A journey of combatting and defeating depression, weight, anger, anxiety, hurt and mending relationships has become the ultimate fuel that has projected Anjelica's writing career and advice.

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Dejan

    Apr 19, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Very good article Anjelica (p.s nice name), I do have one question… Do you think it is better to have friends in your life who half support you but are not doing anything with their lives or to have no one at all but yourself to push you forward?

    I always hear the term “follow your heart” in daily conversation but their are so many distractions these days it’s very hard to stay focused. Do you have any tips on what keep you pushing forward to the very end just like your incredible weight loss (congrats) which is inspirational, thanks Dejan.

  2. Avatar

    Kyle B

    Mar 18, 2014 at 2:10 am

    Your article really made me think of one of my favorite quotes by Hope Solo, “If you truly expect to realize your dreams, abandon the need for blanket approval. If conforming to everyone’s expectations is the number one goal, you have sacrificed your uniqueness, and therefore your excellence.”

    Great article!

  3. Avatar

    maxwell ivey

    Dec 20, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Hello; thanks for the encouraging and uplifting post. you are right our friends and family don’t all have to be on board if we have the dream in our heart. it is so much easier when you have people cheering you on and sharing in your success. as i have lost over 240 pounds through having had gastric surgery my family has been good but my face book community has been better. there are even some who think that between the weight loss my blindness and my over all positive addatude that i should start a personal development blog. don’t really know if its what i want, but i could see it. thanks again and take care, max

    • Avatar

      Anjelica Smilovitis

      Dec 22, 2013 at 4:40 am

      Hi Max – I started 4 years ago writing my experiences and sharing on facebook personal development and it has helped a lot of people; Mainly people i dont know very well. I have started a website to share on now – you definately have something worth sharing and it feels great knowing you may have a part to play in inspiring another person. Congratulations. If you ever start a blog let me know.

  4. Avatar

    jscicchitano

    Dec 14, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    This is a grea read the information will enable you to look at life in a diferent way,

  5. Avatar

    tara

    Dec 14, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    Loved this article. I admire you for opening up about your experiences. Very inspiring!

  6. Avatar

    King Rover

    Dec 13, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    This is excellent, well done on your achievement….

  7. Avatar

    Solomon

    Dec 13, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Awesome article very inspiring, I wish the author all the best for the future!

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