Life
5 Lessons to Extract From the Biggest Failures in Your Life

Failures in life are one of the most unpleasant, yet unavoidable experiences that we tend to experience in any phase of life. We try to avoid failures as much possible. No matter how well we are prepared for the finals, upcoming job interview or business presentation, we might slip to some extent that we wished we hadn’t. The point is, failures constitute a major part of our life which is unavoidable, and the real deal is what we try to get out of it.
Here are 5 lessons you can learn from the biggest failures in your life:
1. Failure strengthens your character
Residing in the comfort zone is the easiest thing to do in life. There are no concerns, challenges, and anything that bothers you at all, hence, nothing that could put you off with the true hardships in life. On the downside, you become stagnant in your progress and character development in life.
On the other hand, character development is done when you step out of your comfort zone. We shape ourselves through the trials and hardships experienced on daily basis. Confrontation with your failures is one of the most important tests for character development. The failure will challenge your determination and motivation to cut through it and emerge victorious. Agreeably, it takes courage to succeed in the quest to overcome the failures.
People find it easy to fall down when times are tough, only those who stay persistent in the life’s obstacles are duly rewarded. The point to understand is that we will truly appreciate the beauty and significance of life, only when we have witnessed the dark times.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy
2. Failure is the wisest teacher
Success isn’t the best of teachers, as it tempts the students to believe that this is the limit or they cannot lose. Consequently, people tend to become complacent and start taking things for granted. While the complacency makes us more reactive and less proactive in the effort to acquire happiness.
On the other side, failure has a number of important lessons in store for all of us. In fact, our frustrations and shortcoming teach us more about being “successful” than the “success” itself.
Failure is an option that is inevitable in life, and shouldn’t be ignored foolishly. The entire point of understanding and embracing failure is to learn from it and prevent yourself from committing the same mistakes all over again in the future.
3. Failure showcases areas of improvement
We tend to pass through few golden phases in life where everything we do turns out to be successful, unfortunately, making us believe that these “good times” are going to follow ever after. This is the time where failures in life prove to come as the biggest “reality checks” and force you to bring your feet back on the ground realizing what real-life struggles actually are.
The biggest of all, failure helps you locate the areas in your life that requires some dire fixing. For example, if you are not performing up to the mark at your current workplace, there might be a number of reasons to blame. However, this also indicates that you need to improve your communication and people management skills, acquire more technical expertise, or set your priorities accordingly. Simply speaking, you must not have enough dedication on board.
Students and professionals from all industries and walks in life should understand that failure is a temporary detour from your main course, and not an apocalyptic dead-end. Most of the time, failures show us that something is not happening right. Therefore, rather than whining over your failures and attempting to forget it, we should learn from them and work on our areas of improvement for a better learning experience and future.
“It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.” – Ellen DeGeneres
4. Failure encourages you to start again
Fortunately, the human brain and will is strong enough to get us back up after the most recent failure in our life. As the saying often goes, “we always have a choice”, any defeat is not a one-stop end, but you always get second and third chances to prove yourself. Life always gives us multiple opportunities in different forms to get back and continue with our purpose in life. You can start all over again, only this time with more vigilance and smartness than before.
5. Failure tempts you to experience your utmost potential
Living up to your complete potential means extending your boundaries and crossing the limitations set by your mental and physical barriers, in short, turning the impossible into possible. This is where failures elevate us in life. In order to live up to your full potential, one must pass through multiple layers of failures till he or she accomplishes the goal set. Embracing failure means you are acquiring the relevant touchpoints on your journey to success.
Understanding and acknowledging the occurrence of failures means you are willing to take constructive risks in life, one of those powerful abilities that drives the person forward towards his or her complete potential.
How do you recover from failure? Comment below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
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Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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