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How A Trip To San Francisco Can Change Your Perspective

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A few months back, I was told by a few people to take a holiday. Without any real plan, I booked flights to San Francisco and LA. Having never traveled to the US before, I wasn’t sure what to expect or how the country would make me feel at the end of my trip.

When I arrived in downtown San Francisco, the city felt strangely like Melbourne where I’m from. On the first day, I hired a bike and rode across the Golden Gate Bridge. It was only once I got near the coastline that the city felt very different.

The Golden Gate Bridge is work of art and no words can describe it. It’s simply beautiful and a marvel of modern day engineering. Getting to go over the bridge is an experience in itself. All of a sudden, all your worries and problems seem so far away, and all that matters is the current moment.

When I arrived on the other side of the bridge, I took a ferry back past Alcatraz which was a strange and eerie contrast. Everyone asked me why I never bothered to visit the island; the reason was that I don’t believe in celebrating criminal activity or spending time in dark places like a prison.

Our world is shaped by the things we choose to surround ourself with, and prison shouldn’t be one of those things. The more I explored San Fran, the greater my love for Australia became. It’s easy to think that the grass is always greener, but it’s not. As it turns out, I already live in one of the greatest cities in the world.

Below are the 5 things that changed my perspective after visiting the US:

1. Whenever there is hype beware (Silicon Valley)

For the last few years, everyone has told me how magical Silicon Valley is. I decided on this trip to find out for myself. When I arrived in Silicon Valley, it looked like any other friendly neighborhood. I thought I must have been not quite where the action was.

After hopping in an Uber, I drove through the streets into the so-called hotspots. What I saw was normal houses, next to traditional business parks that happened to have the world’s most famous tech logos stuck to the side of the building.

I gazed in wondering what magic was occurring inside and what the secret cool aid was that they were all drinking. Thankfully, I got my chance to get behind the closed doors and the private security that surround these buildings like a prison.

Don’t get me wrong; Silicon Valley creates some amazing things in our world, but these same ideas, products, and services can be created anywhere across the globe. The awesomeness that is created is not just possible in Silicon Valley; it’s possible anywhere. Silicon Valley just has a high concentration of very cool companies in one place.

2. San Fran business culture is phenomenal

There was definitely something in the water as I visited each of the famous San Fran companies such as Google, Facebook, and LinkedIn. If I had to link this good feeling to anything, I would say it’s probably that the employees feel they’re changing the world.

What they’re working on is the stuff of dreams, and they know it. It’s not about being better than each other but it’s about working together to do seriously cool stuff. There is no real sense of ownership, and you’re free to go off and try out an idea.

Failure is celebrated, and the only must is innovation”

If your business is not growing, it’s dying in San Fran. Once high-growth products like Google Adwords are begin replaced, and nobody is negative about that fact.

Declining performance in certain products is expected, and as long as you’re building the next big thing, then it’s fine. San Fran isn’t about the location itself; it’s about the people who live and work there. The attitude of “anything is possible” is infectious.

The perceived downside to this attitude is that San Fran is full of elitist snobs that think they’re better than everyone else. I for one didn’t get a whiff of this vibe and think that this idea is more of a scarcity / jealousy mindset than anything else.

3. Beauty is all around us

One of my friends in San Fran commented that I was always making observations about the simplest things that he never notices. The way the traffic lights change, the way the trams look – everything was beautiful to me.

As soon as I returned home, the beauty of these same basic things was all of a sudden ignored again. I learned that if you see the beauty not just when you are in a new country, but when you are home, your perspective begins to change.

You find the good in life’s small pleasures, and your mind stops racing ahead for the next bit of technological dopamine. It still bothers me how much I look at my phone hoping for the little red notification to appear.

4. Homelessness is psychological

I was told to expect lots of homelessness, but the size of the problem was bigger than I imagined. I’ve seen homelessness before and got used to it. In San Fran, it wasn’t just that there were people who didn’t have a home; they were also mentally ill and shouted at people for no reason.

The problem is so big that it’s hard to ignore. Everywhere you go, you can’t avoid the issue. I found this to be a good thing because it taught me that problems shouldn’t be ignored, they should be solved. Everything I brought in San Fran had an extra tax. Initially, I had no idea why the advertised price always varied from what you paid until I asked (stupid me).

The extra tax was supposed to help the homeless people. I couldn’t see any sign of them being helped. It felt more like they were being ignored in the hope that they would take their problems elsewhere.

The lesson I learnt was that the homeless don’t need our money; they need psychological assistance if we really want to make a difference.

5. Being out of our comfort zone is a must

San Fran taught me that when I’m out of my comfort zone, I learn the most. It’s a nice feeling to have no idea where you’re going and to get lost once in a while. It’s funny too when you think that your destination is not far away until you discover how hilly San Fran can be in some parts.

Like with any downside, the upside was I got some much-needed exercise. I’m like a kid in a new city because I love to map things out in my mind and memorise where everything is. Within a few days, people were asking me for directions because they thought I was a local.

“Our comfort zone is where we are safe in the womb of life. Our real self is everything beyond that” – James Altucher

Strangely enough, I was able to tell them where to go. Pushing beyond our comfort zone allows us to see the world in a different way and interact with new kinds of people. I met many interesting characters during my travels that shared ideas with me that will forever change me.

The rush of excitement I got when I learned where the world was heading through technology is something that is hard to forget. Seeing people’s passion for changing the world one step at a time is the type of experience I was hoping to have from the start. Anything is possible as long as we collaborate and believe in humankind.

How are you going to change your perspective of the world for the better? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Thea

    Oct 5, 2016 at 3:42 am

    Wow, we’re planning to go to san francisco next week. Good thing I found this article, it my first time to go there but not my first to go to the US though, last time I went there was back in 2009 at the East Coast. 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 8, 2016 at 10:28 am

      That’s cool Thea that this post came at the right time for you. Enjoy your trip and check out some of the sights I mentioned. Take care!

  2. Toño

    Oct 1, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    Hello Tim! Firstly, thank you soooo very much for posting article about your Great American Adventure and sharing your photos with us! I loved the content and Golden Gate picture is epic! Also, you look like a badass with sunglasses, they fit you quite well haha 😀

    I have to tell you I know exactly what you mean, by describing ‘all your worries and problems seem so far away’, as I have experienced that myself few times, and mostly it was trip-related, you feel free from everything and ready to conquer the world, or something similar. And yes man, you live in one of the most amazing country in the world, leave alone the city. In my childhood I have always dreamed to live there, don’t know why. I have read lots of good things and I believe Australia in the top list of the most wealthy, healthy and high standards places.

    On the subject, I really connect with your ‘Beauty is all around us’ paragraph. I am exactly the same, it was eerily familiar when I read it because I act like this in a new places, amazed at everything, including trash bins, yet when I am back home I immediately turn on a resistant mode and ignore those simple thins I so loved while being at the different place. How weird huh? This urge to always move onto a new place so I can satisfy the level of dopamine, my very own pursuit of happiness. That’s a great thing to ponder on and meditate. My next session will be dedicated exactly to this thing. Thank you Tim.

    And your point on homelessness is very spot on. it is indeed rather state of mind and the issue should be addressed at the right side, not being avoided or misunderstood. I mean, every single one of us can experience this, whether you have millions of dollars or not. It does not matter.

    Our Achilles heel, the comfort zone. is always there to cuddle us and hide from the ‘danger’ of the world, making us fear more. James Altucher said it beautifully, I can confirm this – I rarely being my truly self, because I often under someone else’s skin. I must take all the steps to change that.

    Tim, your article touched me deeply and I enjoyed all the pictures and lessons you gave. Thank you for being an amazing you, for your time and passion, for your love and care! I greatly appreciate that 🙂

    Take care and have a wonderful day.

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 3, 2016 at 12:04 am

      Toño thanks for the kind words and glad you like the sunnies. San Fran is cool but I wouldn’t suggest you live there. You’ve picked up my key points really well and it’s cool you had a similar experience. I feel very lucky to live in Australia and to have the tools to avoid pitfalls like homelessness. Now it;s about helping others get that same experience.

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Life

8 Things You Can Do to Rise Above Failure and Attain Success

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Highly successful people have tasted failure more than success. Whether its Nikola Tesla or Michael Jordan, everyone had his/her fair share of failures before rising to the pinnacle of success. Yet, most people I know are averse to the idea of failure.

When ambition fuels your desires, you become so conscious about avoiding failure that you forget to learn how to cope with it when you actually experience it. So, when you come face-to-face with adversity, it often overwhelms you.

This brings us to the question, how can you train yourself to overcome these difficulties and use them to your advantage? Here’s how:

1. Acceptance is important to overcome failure

When the going gets tough, one of the most frustrating things you may get to hear is “stay positive.” The idea of positive thinking has been misconstrued, misused, and abused continuously. Contrary to popular belief, positive thinking has nothing to do with smiling and being happy with everything that happens to you all the time. Anyone who preaches that is either lying or crazy.

Use positive thinking to learn, grow, and evolve from the experiences we gather in life. Positive thinking simply means that if you are faced with a setback, you work hard to overcome the challenges. When you experience hardships, it is alright to feel upset and disappointed. Our objective, however, is not to stay down.

2. Be honest with yourself

The most crucial part of dealing with a failure involves pausing for a couple of minutes and pondering over what happened. You need to be completely honest with yourself on why it happened.

It is easy to pull out the Smartphone, turn on the laptop or find other forms of distraction. Most people would do anything to distract themselves and keep their eyes shut to the mistakes they have made.

However, if you don’t confront, you don’t learn. And if you don’t learn, then you are setting yourself up for failure again. Albert Einstein famously stated that it was insane to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. If you don’t derive a lesson out of mistakes and failures in life, then you are doomed to keep repeating them, whether you realise it or not.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

3. Don’t beat yourself up over a temporary setback

When you have experienced a setback, many of you may succumb to the feeling that you’ll always keep failing. It is easy to convince yourself that you are indeed a failure. Don’t let such destructive ideas or thoughts creep into your head. Instead, keep reminding yourself that just because you failed today, it doesn’t mean you’d fail the next time as well.

It is also important that you treat your failure as a passing phase. When you keep moving forward, focus on the right things, and keep learning. Perceiving the setback as a temporary phase rather than something permanent is vital to developing an optimistic attitude in life.

4. Focus on nurturing and improving yourself

Failures don’t discriminate, and it comes to everyone at some point. The trick lies in learning to deal with it and what you do about it that makes all the difference. In many cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t prepared, didn’t invest time on planning or was ill-equipped. It can also be because Lady Luck decided not to shower her favours.

Except for the last one, the rest of the issues can be fixed. Prepare a list of all the things that you think resulted in your failure. Start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your capacity to rectify, improve, resolve, and develop.

5. Find inspiration and support in abundance

Interacting with someone close can be more helpful than you think. You can also learn from people who have been through similar situations and have achieved what you hope to. Gain insights on how they managed to sail through the setbacks or low-points before and during the moment of success.

Or you can gain the motivation or enthusiasm by listening to someone else from an audiobook or podcast for maybe 30-60 minutes. It doesn’t have to be focused on your current setbacks.  Change your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.

6. Adopt a constructive approach and learn from the adverse situation

Consider it as valuable feedback and take home something you can implement in the process of overcoming your failure. The following are some of the questions you need to ask yourself:

  • What is the lesson for me?
  • How can I rectify myself to avoid making the same mistake and do better next time?
  • What can I do to enjoy guaranteed success?

You don’t need to rush through the process. Some of the answers may be immediate, while others might take an hour, a day or even a week to pop up. The significant thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective. Also, you need to be constructive about things rather than getting stuck with denial, negativity and apathy.

7. Stop mulling over and move on

Processing the situation and accepting it is the ideal way to deal with failures. Any individual who has experienced failures will know that it is quite easy to stay stuck in the loop of similar thoughts. In fact, this may go around and around for weeks or even months.

Now, in order to be free from this trap, the one habit that might help you is the set of questions like the ones shared above. You can also create a rough plan for how you wish to move forward from here. So, take some time to sit down and write them down.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

8. Purge out all the negativity

Another impactful way to handle the emotional meltdown and the thoughts that emerge from experiencing failure is to purge out all the negativity. In order to let everything out, you need to confide in someone close to you. There are two ways to go about it: Engaging in a conversation with someone will allow you to see it from a different perspective. The person you talk to can assist you in grounding yourself in reality again and motivate you to look for a way forward.

Or you can simply vent about it while the other person who is listening can sort things out for you. He/she can help you accept what happened and boost your spirit by instilling a sense of hope.

The significant thing to remember is that while you can’t stop obstacles from appearing in life, you can devise smart ways to handle them. If you persevere, you can easily discover opportunities that have been waiting for you on the other side. Now, as you become more efficient at dealing with the failures, you will allow yourself to see the positive side in even the toughest of scenarios.

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How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)

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Life

The Truth About the Law of Attraction

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When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!

For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.

The law of attraction is a funny thing.

It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.

However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.

Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.

What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”

This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.

You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.

It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.

Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.

The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!

How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.

That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.

The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne

The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1

1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”

Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.

2. Be flexible

Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.

3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.

The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.

Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.

It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.

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Life

7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions

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A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.

Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.

But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.

The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.

1. Take a step back

You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

2. Breathe

The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.

3. Pay attention

Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.

Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.

4. Discern untruths

It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.

5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them

To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.

6. Be as present as possible

There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

7. Make your emotions your allies

Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.

Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself.  This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.

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