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3 Things That Are Often Overlooked That Determine How High You Go in Life



What determines your success

Living the life of your dreams and achieving great success is not as far-fetched as you may think. Although, the necessary steps taken are determined by your attitude. To reach that height, live that dream, experience the good unexpected, the list of regular sayings we hear are:

  • Get out of your comfort zone
  • Be broke for a while  
  • Be willing to do whatever it takes
But there are some things that are often overlooked yet mandatory needed to go high in life. Here are 3 things to stop overlooking:

1. Value creation

Before you get to the top, you must have something of value to offer. You could call it something you trade in exchange for money. No matter your current situation in life, before money comes to you, your voice being heard, climbing the corporate ladder, being a best-selling author, the genesis of it all is value creation. To get to your said height, you must create something of value to serve the public.

Never underestimate your thoughts on value creation. The more you think your ideas suck and may not work out, the better. But do not stop believing in what you can achieve because that is the only genius thing you can do for yourself. Our world is tired of seeing the regular. A wise man once said “If you aren’t scared at first, you aren’t doing the thing right.”

“Try not to become a man of success but a man of value. Look around how people want to get more out of life than they put in. A man of value will give more than he receives. Be creative, but make sure that what you create is not a curse for mankind” – Albert Einstein

2. Value sustainability

Now you created something from nothing. Let’s think 50 years ahead from your moment of creation. How many people will still make use of your project? Will your competitor make your created value obsolete? Will you get tired of it one day and allow your project go into extinction? How best can you sustain your idea in the nearest future? You should have seen the profile of some proud companies.

For example: XYZ company since 1802. How awesome is that? Obviously the pathfinder of the idea is no more but kids or relatives willingly embraced its vision thereby moving the business forward. The project is beautifully handed unto generations because the sole owner created a vision that others could personalize with. How many people can personalize with your created value? Can it be handed unto generations? To get to that unlimited height, your value must be sustained in the nearest future.


3. Social responsibility

So long as you breathe, you must pay your dues no matter how little. Philanthropy should be your everyday living rule. You may constantly give yourself excuses by saying you haven’t started making much which I totally agree with. But consider some people out there live below $1 every day. You could play an awesome rule in someone else’s life.

You are not only asked to provide help financially but little things like volunteering for something of a good course. You should know of the popular adage “Givers Never Lack.” One way to determine your height isn’t to acquire endless talent, IQ, or even money but by simply giving because immeasurable blessings flow from that angle. This is the major reason most entrepreneurs and celebrities have foundations.

“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get but from what we give” – Ben Carson

Renowned speaker Dr. Olumide Emmanuel in one of his audio tapes said we should consider giving back to Mother Nature our rental payment.

Have you overlooked these steps? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Evelyn Uche is an entrepreneur and a serial writer with a strong passion for start-ups. She is the editor and founder of the business blog known as ThisIsBusiness247 where she publishes daily articles on business news & events. You can follow her blog on Twitter to get her latest updates.



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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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