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5 Reasons Why Not Having It All Is Actually a Good Thing




We live in a world where people are always striving for more, even though they haven’t achieved anything yet. Society has taught us to focus too much on what we don’t have and to wish for things to be different. That’s why too many people end up living in regrets and are miserable.

But at the end of the day, you and anyone else, don’t have it all. And that’s completely alright. What’s more, it’s actually a good thing.

Here’s 5 reasons why not having it all can be a good thing:

1. You don’t need it all

There may be many desires, goals and dreams in your mind, but if each comes true, you won’t be happy. Most of the things you’re after in life aren’t what you truly want, you just don’t know it yet.

Most millionaires and celebrities are quite lonely. Those who reach the top of a career ruin their health and peace of mind, and quitting your job and moving to a tropical island won’t necessarily help you be a better version of yourself or motivate you to start a business.

Setting just a few goals is completely alright. Our brain can’t focus on too many things, anyways. So stick to the stuff you’re sure will change who you are and your future in a positive way, and stop wanting it all.

“Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.” – David Frost

2. You already live in abundance

You have more than you think, you’re just distracted by living in the past or future and asking for more, instead of focusing on what’s already in your life.

Practice gratitude to open your eyes for the people around you that love you. For the opportunities that lie in store. For how beautiful life is in the present moment. For your practical skills and all the knowledge and experience you’ve gained over the years.

That’s a lot to be thankful for. If you begin each day appreciating this, instead of wishing for what you don’t have, you won’t feel a void in your life but will be happy without the need to change anything on the outside. That’s another proof that you don’t need it all.


3. Big things take time

If you did have it all, you’d go crazy. 24 hours in a day aren’t enough to master many skills. Your limited focus isn’t going to help you have the perfect balance between family, work and social life. There’s only so much motivation you can find on the inside weekly and at some point you’ll experience burnout. You’ll then need a long period of time to recover, and once you get back on track, you’ll be left behind and feeling disappointed.

So don’t even take the first step on such a big journey to conquering every area of life. You won’t succeed. Instead of focusing on failures, enjoy your free time now. Keep your focus for the important things, and get 1% better daily at 1-3 big things.


4. Never being satisfied is a blessing

If you think about it, having it all will take something really important from us; the ability to dream and aim higher, the strive for perfection, the chance to imagine a better reality even if it’s far away.

And that’s something we all like to do. Even if we’re stuck in an ordinary life and aren’t really happy with our current one, we always have the freedom to be positive about the future, to expect wonderful things and big changes to start happening. That gives us comfort and can prevent us from losing hope and becoming depressed.

“Do your duty and a little more and the future will take care of itself.” – Andrew Carnegie

5. The element of surprise

Another reason why not having it all is awesome, is that your future is still a blank page. It’s in your hands, but also at any moment something unexpected and great can happen, or a fantastic opportunity may be presented to you, that can turn the rest of your life around.

That thought helps you build momentum and keep taking action today for a better tomorrow. If you did have it all, though, there won’t be room for anything new and better in your life. And you don’t want that.

Now that you’re reminded of these reasons, you shouldn’t waste any precious time feeling upset about what’s missing in your life, comparing yourself to others, blaming life for not being fair and giving you enough of everything, or else.

You have enough and it’s the best you can have at this stage. In the near future, there will be more. And when it’s achieved through focused and consistent work, you’ll feel proud and confident about yourself, will be able to find meaning and contentment, and will actually enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Do you think having it all would satisfy you? Please leave your thoughts below!

Sarah Williams is a lifestyle blogger and online entrepreneur who shares her ideas about  how to date better on her blog: Wingman Magazine. Her ultimate goal is to empower men to become the best versions of themselves and help them benefit from social interactions. She is passionate about powerful, conscious living.



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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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