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5 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Striving for Perfection

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We live in a culture where striving for perfection is hailed as a virtue. Over the centuries, that ideal has become embedded in our collective consciousness as something to aspire to consistently. Perfection is what drives us to improve upon past efforts and keep working to better ourselves at every opportunity. While that sounds like a good thing, it is time we came to terms with how much damage this personality trait can cause in the long run. 

Below I’m going to talk about five reasons you must stop striving for perfection and give yourself a happier and more fulfilling life.

1. Perfectionism leads to high levels of stress.

A perfectionist often experiences extreme stress because, in their view, things are rarely good enough. They go through life, continually worrying about making everything perfect. It is an unhealthy mindset as it keeps you from feeling satisfaction and deriving fulfillment from your work. 

Chasing perfection means having to live with a relentless inner voice that continually tells you to work harder while also reminding you that nothing you do is good enough. When left unchecked, this habit may lead to burnout. You may feel so exhausted mentally and emotionally that you will find it easier to give up altogether.

“Here’s the uncomfortable truth about perfection. It’s often just insecurity in disguise.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

2. Refusing perfection helps you deal with change more comfortably.

As they say, change is the only constant. But if you’re focused on keeping things perfect at all times, it will get more and more complicated and frustrating to deal with change. You may set up an ideal schedule for the day and set your mind to accomplish every task on your list. 

But then life throws a curveball, and all the best-laid plans can go out the window in an instant. What do you do then? You can fret over the new situation and keep struggling to keep things perfect. Or, you can accept the change, get comfortable with the less-than-perfect situation, and make the most of what you have. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which is the more wholesome approach.

3. You will be braver about taking risks.

The more you chase perfection, the more you stop yourself from taking risks. Perfectionism is often driven by an extreme fear of failure. It creates a mindset when you tell yourself that it is not even worth trying if something can’t be done perfectly. You shy away from new opportunities and different challenges that could be quite rewarding if pursued.

This is the mindset that stops you from applying for a new job or a better position and keeps you stuck in the same place with hardly any scope for growth or progress. The fear of failure, then, becomes an unexpected roadblock to success. Once you let go of the need for perfection, you will be able to take risks and become more open to new experiences.

4. Perfectionism stifles creativity

Just as perfectionism keeps you from taking risks and trying new things, it also suffocates your creative impulses. If you’ve hit on a perfect way of doing something, you will no longer rely on your creativity or imagination to solve problems. Your work will suffer in the long run from a lack of innovation. 

When you forget about being perfect for a second and focus on doing something new or trying the same old thing in a new way, it is bound to be rewarding no matter the result. You will learn something new about yourself and also pick up a new skill. Being creative helps you grow as a person and gives you a unique personality – and being unique makes life much more fun and fulfilling than striving after perfection.

“Perfection is the enemy of progress.” – Winston Churchill

5. Saying no to perfection will leave you with more time.

If you are or have been a perfectionist, you may be familiar with how little leisure time is left to yourself. Perfectionists inculcate certain habits that keep them so occupied with their work that it takes up all their time. For example, they are prone to multitasking, they avoid taking breaks, and they refuse to delegate tasks.

Perfectionism creates an all-or-nothing mentality where you struggle with delegating tasks to others because you don’t trust them to do things perfectly. Since you disapprove of how other people accomplish their tasks, you start to believe that it would be easier to do everything yourself. All that does is leave you buried under a mountain of work, feeling exhausted, cranky, and unable to kick back and relax.

As you can see, striving towards perfection isn’t all it’s cooked up to be. Perfectionists often turn into their own worst enemies and create problems and suffer easily avoidable stress. By saying no to perfection, at least every once in a while can help you replenish your energy while still continuing to chase excellence. Perfection may seem like an ideal, but it causes most headaches and is not something worth sacrificing your mental and physical well-being for. If a life well-lived is what you aspire for, it may be time to give up seeking perfection and focus on things that truly matter.

Nisha is passionate about writing and loves to share her thoughts with the world. She has written many articles on yoga, fitness, wellness, remedies, and beauty. She keeps herself updated by going through interesting blogs every day. This fuels her passion and motivates her to write appealing and engaging articles. She is a regular contributor to StyleCraze.com and a few other websites.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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