Life
Change Your Story And You Change Your Reality. Here’s How:

There may be many reasons why you are not experiencing the success that you wish you had and if you don’t know what they are – here’s a clue.
What is your story? No matter what it is that we do in life, we create a story about it with ourselves as the main protagonists and we carry our story around with us – even if it doesn’t serve us. “I can’t succeed because”…or…“this happened and so….”
These stories might seem like the truth, even factual, but it is what it is – a story, which you believe and live by. One of the best ways to understand this is to consider the survivors of the Hudson River plane crash for example. Each survivor was part of the same experience and yet each person framed (and internalized) the event in a very different way – they all have different stories.
There are those who were traumatized and to this day refuse to fly again, and those who saw the crash as a second chance to life and refused to be limited by the experience. Each survivor’s future actions were shaped by their stories of the experience just as your actions are influenced by every singly story that you tell yourself.
Stories do not necessarily reflect facts
The thing about stories is that they tend to be subjective, you might not like to hear that, but it’s the harsh truth and so taking them for granted as unchangeable truths about ourselves is incredibly limiting and it will affect your success.
Your story is not the ultimate truth, you are focusing on your symptoms of the story, rather than on the event itself. Take, for example, a person who has had a bad experience pitching their business idea to seemingly uninterested potential investors. Two of the possible stories that this person might tell themselves are:
- Story A: The investors weren’t interested because my business idea is horrible and no one will ever want to invest in it.
Story B: Perhaps the investors weren’t interested because I didn’t pitch the idea well enough, or perhaps they just weren’t the right investors.
Same experience, two different stories. In both cases, the person is likely to feel disappointed and demotivated; these are the stories symptoms. But depending on which story that person wants to believe – they will take actions aligned with it.
Take a moment and think about the stories you tell people; the habitual stories that give you a ‘way out’ of something. What would it feel like if you decided to rewrite the story to something more empowering?
It is often necessary to change a story in order to be set free from it, instead of trying to change the symptoms. This is what people don’t get. They try to change the symptoms but it’s the story that you keep telling that brings you the same results.
One of the most challenging parts is actually being conscious and aware of your stories. Most people are in self-denial that they even have stories.
Is your story what you would like it to be?
What’s your story? Think about the different stories that have shaped the way you view your life and the actions you take. It could be a very specific story (for example, if you’re an aspiring entrepreneur who is too intimidated to take risks) or a more general one (for example, if you’re an artist, blocking your own success because you’ve always identified with the “struggling artist” story).
If you’re tired of being stuck in one place and want more out of life, you need to create stories that will help you achieve your goals, instead of staying captive to the mindset and stories that are holding you back.
What story do you need to let go? What story would help you to create your ideal world instead? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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