Life

4 Reasons Why Emotional Pain Can Be A Positive Breakthrough In Life

Published

7 years ago

Mar 7, 2016

How do you feel when you think about emotional pain? What do you connect to it? Have you ever thought about it as a positive thing in your life? If your answer is no, I have to disagree with you. Feeling pain in your life has pretty much the same concept as experiencing failure.

We don’t like it, but it is necessary for a better life. The same impact has the pain. Not everyone sees it this way; it is a matter of perspective. I would like you to look at the pain as a value and a good lesson. You are going to experience it from time to time; it is a rule of life.

Take a look at these four reasons why pain can be your friend and more than that, a teacher:

1. It moves you forward

Pain can move you forward and make you take action. It pushes you when you are not happy with what you have or see or who you are. With pain, you will move forward faster. When you feel unhappy, what do you do? You are trying to figure out what will make you happy and get you out of the pain.

You are more likely to change and make progress. Do you know what is worse than pain? Feeling comfortable. If you feel that where you are right now, it’s “fine,” you have already started your dying process. Feeling unsatisfied and always wanting more is a great indicator that you wish your life to be different.

You know that out there is a better world and better opportunities. You know that you were born with a high potential, and you don’t want to waste it. Keep moving forward and your pain will disappear step by step.

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney

2. It makes you grow

Being in emotional pain is tough but without it, you wouldn’t appreciate the pleasure. It gives you the real life lessons, and it makes you grow. Dwelling on the past and asking yourself why this or that happened to you is pointless. I believe that every negative experience has its meaning in life.

Things don’t just happen. Everything is a lesson for you to learn and maybe realize certain things about yourself. I love this quote from Deepak Chopra; “Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the one you need in your life at this moment.” But what if you are in a bad relationship? How can this benefit you?

Maybe you are, or you were in a relationship which didn’t work. Maybe your business partner betrayed you. These are situations you have attracted into your life. It makes you grow and become the person you need to be.

3. It gives you experience

As I have mentioned above, the pain will become your best teacher. You and I know that the actual lesson of life comes from your downfalls. When you hit rock bottom, when you get the real smack on your face. It’s like passing an exam in a very unusual way.

Look at your life right now and see your past. Was there any painful experience? I bet it was and I bet you have learned from it. Whatever has happened to you was meant to happen. Have you ever heard about someone with a very rough past? And after all, they are the ones who are helping people, they create support funds, organizations for people in need.

Why do you think they went through hell? Because their purpose came from what they experienced. They know how it feels, they decide to support others and change their life. They do magnificent work because of their pain in the past, and they have outstanding results as well.

4. It motivates you

Pain is the best motivator. It challenges you to make changes and progress whether you like it or not. It motivates you to change yourself, your life, maybe your relationships. How would we know what is right for us without feeling pain? Pain is an indicator that something in your life is wrong, and change is necessary.

Feeling emotionally uncomfortable, motivates you and sometimes inspires you to do remarkable things. Some accomplishment or success in your life wouldn’t happen if you were not in enough pain to pursue it.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison

No one likes to experience emotional pain, but you have to understand that it is a part of your journey. Make it your best friend and learn from it as much as possible. Take it as value for your personality and experience. Use it for your personal growth and self-development.

What have you learned from your pain? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.