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Motivation

The Top 10 Things Successful People Do To Reach Their Dreams

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Our bookshelves are lined with habits that successful people do on a daily basis. We read about them and implement them into our routines and practices. Quite often these practices improve our productivity and make our lives better as a result. But that’s not what this article is about. It’s not about what successful people do, but what they did.

Here’s a brief study of 10 things that these hungry and unstoppable people did to see the success they all eventually achieved.

 

The 10 Things Successful People Live By Before They Make It

 

1. They didn’t use excuses.

We all have two voices. There’s the voice that tells us to work hard, to focus on the task at hand and to finish it before we move on to the next. And to finish it well.

We also have the voice that tells us to take a break, to think about what’s on TV, or to visit a site that we like to visit that entertains us – whether it’s ESPN.com or facebook.

In life we’re the victim of injustice from time to time. It could be a promotion that we deserve but don’t get. No matter who we are, we’re going to be treated unfairly at some point. We can either feel sorry for ourselves, or push forward and put it behind us – even use it as motivation.

Nelson Mandela could have used his unjust imprisonment as an excuse to give into his anger. Instead, he used it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and eventually free others.

Listen to your excuses. Understand why you have them. Then figure out how you can use them for good.

 

2. It wasn’t just about them.

‘Things’ can be a motivator, they can even be a reward, but they can’t be the motivator. The truly successful in life always get there because they created change in the lives of others, not just their own.

If something drives you that is greater than just the ‘ends’, we’re going to work harder, longer, and we’re going to give more of ourselves to our project.

Yes we can make money when we have the primary goal of making money. Some might even use that money for good – which is awesome. But there’s no fulfillment in simply making money. And isn’t that the point?

 

 

3. Early mornings and late nights.

People who have achieved true success in their lives have worked for it.

This might come at the detriment of other areas of their lives, such as family or social life. But their mission is first and foremost. Until it’s complete, everything else comes second.

There’s literally no substitute for hard work. Abraham Lincoln said, “Things may come to those who wait… but only the things left by those who hustle.” If you want to be successful, you’re going to have to out hustle everyone else.

 

4. The greatest commodity.

Energy is a huge commodity that is often not talked about. Yes, energy in the sense of fuel and electricity is talked about everywhere, but I’m talking about our own energy levels.

The fact is that the more energy we have, the easier it is to focus, and the higher the quality of our work is.

One of Richard Branson‘s ‘key’s to success’ is staying in great physical shape. So would raised energy levels be the greatest benefit to working out? It may be.

Keeping physically fit gives us greater blood-flow to our brain, enhanced alertness and improved focus. Make training a routine part of your life and increase your chances at success – in every meaning of the word.

 

5. Principles.

History will be kind to me. For I intend to write it.

Winston Churchill had principles. The difference between him and the rest of us, is that he stuck to his principles at all costs. He didn’t waver when they weren’t popular – an extreme rarity in politics.

What are your principles? All of us should have them, know what they are, and live our lives by them.

One of Apple’s principles is to bring change to the world through technology, and they do it with every product they release.

Identify what principles you have that guide your life through tough times, and when things couldn’t be any better. They shouldn’t change, and at your core, neither should you.

 

6. Wavering, yet unbreakable faith.

We all have moments of doubt. Even the best of us question if our dream is going to come true. The one thing that separates the truly successful from those who never reach their true potential is an unbreakable faith in the fact that what they’re doing is right.

Even if they have moments of doubt, they’re soon quelled, where other’s listen to that doubt and let it eat them up and finally they quit.

Have your moments of doubt. You’re human. Just don’t let that doubt eat you up. Instead let it motivate you to prove your optimism right.

 

7. A reason.

Many of the greatest accomplishments in the world were accomplished by insecure men and women, people who had something to prove to others. A desire to elevate their status and create change that was so strong, that failure is simply never and option.

Abraham Lincoln‘s reason(s) had to do a lot with his view of himself in relation to how other’s viewed him. Where others saw a poor, illiterate boy, Lincoln saw someone capable of achieving more, even if he had to do it completely on his own. He also saw the need for change. A nation that preached freedom wasn’t free. He saw something fundamentally wrong with this and set out to change it. His why wasn’t about him. Which in turn made him one of history’s great men.

Understand why. You have that reason to work when others sleep, to sacrifice a safe life for a risky one with no ceiling. Find it by asking why, and not stopping until you hit your core, emotional reason for wanting to change your status, or the status of others.

 

8. They persevered when others didn’t.

How does the guy who quit on his dream know how long it would’ve taken him to become a success? He doesn’t. None of us do. It could be tomorrow, or ten years from now.

What separates a lot of the great people we read about in our history books from those we’ve never heard of is the fact that they never quit. Quitting was never an option. They only stopped when they reached their dream. And even then, they created a new mission.

Take James J. Braddock, or even Nelson Mandela, for example. They didn’t achieve their greatness or success early on in their careers or in life like some. They achieved it after surviving. They survived while others literally died, or quit. In their cases it wasn’t just that they were the best, but they were the best because of what they endured. They were the last one’s standing.

We don’t know when our breakthrough will come. So don’t guarantee your failure by quitting. You can adapt, change, and evolve, but never, never, never quit.

 

9. Great people relentlessly studied their craft.

Tony Gwynn and Mike Tyson studied their craft as much as anyone. Gwynn spent hours upon hours studying opposing pitchers. He studied their patterns. He wasn’t the most athletic guy around, but he put his work in to be the best at what he did: hit baseballs.

When people think of Tyson, they think of an animal, but what we fail to see is the student. No one studied boxing like Tyson did. Watched more film than anyone in the history of the sport. He was a student first, a fighter second.

These great athletes studied film, but how can we perfect our craft?

Using myself as an example; much of my job has to do with writing, and obviously fitness. So, I study those two things. I read books about how to become a better writer, ways to connect with the reader, and I simply read great books written by authors who are much better at writing than I am. If you’re in sales, read and study sales. If you’re a marketer, then do the same with marketing.

Being a drone that simply goes through the motions is no way to achieve greatness. Assuming success is something you want, you have to study your craft, whatever it may be. Learn it inside and out. Build a wealth of knowledge. It’ll help you create great, inspiring, and unique work.

 

10. Risk.

No risk, no reward. Yes it’s an over-used, cliché of a phrase. But it’s true. Those who have achieved real success have often risked the most to get there.

There have been billions of people throughout history who have had the ability to achieve greatness, whether it was the talent or smarts, they had it. What they didn’t have was the guts to risk the life that they were living. They also didn’t have the work ethic to see their talent realized.

The greatest tragedy in life is wasted talent ~ A Bronx Tale

Your big, audacious dream might be to marry the girl of your dreams and have a family with her. You risk might be to leave the career that you love in order to support her and your family. Your dream might be to help millions live longer, healthier lives. Whatever your dream is, give it enough of a chance to be realized.

Risk if you truly want to see the reward.

Find your dream. Then risk everything to get it.

 

Chad Howse is the creator of Be Legendary, a company dedicated to helping guys experience greatness in Fitness, Work, & Life. Chad has been featured in Men's Health, Men's Fitness, and Shape magazines, and is a contributor to the Art of Manliness, and Addicted2Success.

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Motivation

Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.

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A month ago, I received an email titled “I am giving up” from a young woman. She was an aspiring life coach and had a huge money problem she was dealing with.

The young lady tried everything to get out of the situation and was even prepared to sleep in her car. There was one problem though: she had a daughter.

Things got so bad that she was even considering becoming a stripper to make some money fast but it was eating away at her on the inside because this very idea went against her ethics and values.

She felt she could never be a life coach again if she became a stripper, because the thought of helping other women after she had put her ass in lots of guys’ faces (this is what she actually said) was far too painful for her.

Becoming a stripper to fix her money problem would simultaneously kill her dream of becoming a life coach.

After she told me this story, she wanted my advice. ‘What should I do Tim?” she said to me in the email.

I really wanted to help her.

I gave her this advice even though it sounds brutal and somewhat harsh:

I told her “Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.”

Here’s how to eat garbage for a while so that you can rise up again:


Take a job you may not love.

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies (forgot who said that but it’s true). There will be times when your life goes off track and you could lose your job, all your money or even your partner. It’s messed up and we all go through it.

The answer is not to go against all of your values, so you feel even more worthless. The advice I gave though goes against every self-help book and motivational quote you’ve ever read including #LoveYourWork

If you fall down, sometimes you have to eat garbage for a while and if it’s a financial crisis, then that could mean doing a job or work you hate.

When my business dreams collapsed in 2011, I took a call center job that I hated with every bone in my body. I took the job because it rebuilt my confidence and taught me how to sell again.

I learned how the big bad corporate world worked and I became incredibly disciplined. I even learned how to love a woman again which sounds corny, but it’s true.

I ate the worst kind of garbage you could possibly eat and I tried to enjoy every moment of it. I then saved up enough money to attend a Tony Robbins event and that was the catalyst for my transformation.

Superman didn’t come and save me like you see in the movies. I had to save myself and that involved doing something I didn’t like. There are more lessons in the stuff you hate than you may realize. Embrace it.


Work on a side hustle at the same time.

The first point is horribly wrong unless you couple it with a side hustle. Eating garbage and having no way out of it is putting yourself through unnecessary torture that you may not recover from.

The rope marks could scar you for life without a side hustle.

My side hustle started out as personal development which eventually led me to begin blogging. Without this side hustle, the time where I had to eat garbage would have been unbearable.

Every day while I worked a job I hated, I looked forward to the small amounts of spare time I had so that I could work on my side hustle. In the first week of this difficult job, I outsold the other staff and hit 200% of my sales target.

“I achieved 200% of my sales target because I was determined to outperform so I could gain the privileges that came with it — more time and more freedom”

Instead of being micromanaged, I got the chance to watch Ted Talks with my people leader and strategize about the future of the business.

The side hustle then became much bigger later on and now it fuels everything I do. I’m obsessed with everyone finding a side hustle, so they have something to motivate them at least some of the time.


Eating garbage is where GRIT is built.

I never used to have an “anything is possible” mindset. The grit I have was built from having to eat garbage for a while.

“I knew that if I could make it through the muddy waters of not following my passion, I could do anything”

The harsh part of life taught me how to fend for myself and overcome my own demons, so I could rise up again out of the ashes. Grit does not come from your comfort zone.

Grit is found in the biggest and boldest of challenges where you have to use every ounce of your strength to come out alive.

The young woman that emailed me is working on developing the same personality trait. This work is what will make her an exceptional life coach.


You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

Eating garbage is short term and if you have a financial problem or something that just won’t go away, you’ve got to tackle it head on. Complaining about your situation and telling yourself the odds are stacked against you won’t help.

When you see eating garbage as short term, you develop the mindset that will help you break through.

There’s no magic cure.

I told the young lady that emailed me to eat garbage for a while (I was nicer than that, don’t worry) and do what she has to do to earn some money (without breaking her values). This battle is short-term and that’s how we all have to see it.


Think about a situation that is worse than yours.

Speaking of eating garbage, one of my mentors reached out to me and told me they had been demoted. They no longer had people underneath them and they were forced into something they didn’t love as much.

I told my mentor the same thing: we all have to eat garbage sometimes.

That advice was then followed up with my story of going from business owner to a call center operator. I then told him the story of a mutual friend who had gone from a high flying job to a nobody that was ignored.

He put up with that for three years and then eventually someone saw what I saw in him, and he was given a very senior role in another company.

Your situation may suck big time but getting some perspective and hearing about others who’ve had to eat garbage is a refreshing way (refreshing and brown stuff in the same sentence?) to overcome the negativity you’ll experience .


Understand that no one stays at the top of anything forever.

You could be the richest person in the world today. Eventually, you’ll be knocked off the top spot.

You could be the fastest 100m sprinter in the world. Tomorrow, or eventually, someone will be faster than you. The simple fact is that no one is permanently at the top of their game.

“All of us will fall from grace at some point”

What I’ve learned is that falling from grace and eating garbage for a while is how you rise up again. You can’t rise up if you haven’t fallen down before.

The deep, dark problem you think you’re facing will pass- it always does eventually. This is not the time to make a dumb decision, ask for sympathy or complain.

It’s time to eat garbage for a while and put in the work. Earn the right to get what you want by starting again at the bottom. That’s how you rise up again.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

5 Daily Habits to Remain Highly Motivated

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While some of us can naturally maintain a relatively high constant level of motivation, others find it more difficult. This is actually a normal fact of life. After all, the beauty and richness of life is in our attempt to reconcile and manage our different states.

Here are a few simple things you can use to motivate yourself on a daily basis:

1. The habit of accomplishing one single task once you get out of bed

This may sound trivial but it can have tremendous impact on your energy level. Right when you wake up, one simple task such as making your bed, exercising or cooking breakfast can get you energized for the rest of the day.

Getting something done first thing in the morning will give you a sense of achievement which will, in turn impact the rest of your day. The little things do count. How will you ever find the motivation to accomplish a big task when you can’t even finish a small one? A journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step…in the right direction!

2. Connect your small tasks to your values

In the first step, you may get something done, but if it is not in alignment with your values or beliefs you are less likely to feel empowered. Whatever the task you get done, frame it in relation to something that is important to you. You can apply this in your personal life, professional or spiritual life. Doing a task you know relates to something meaningful to you will give you the required energy to carry it until completion.

People who engage in routine jobs may find it very hard to remain motivated. Frame your job into something greater than yourself. For instance, a bus driver may say: “I am glad I can contribute to the future of our society by bringing children to school.” Framing the routine job that way will give you a sense of contribution. Knowing that you are making a difference will give you a sense of pride that will in return motivate you.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” – Steve Jobs

3. The habit of crossing out tasks on your to-do list

You will feel more energized if you put your tasks on a sheet of paper because nothing is more motivating than crossing tasks off your to-do lists. This is a clear signal to your brain that you have been able to accomplish a particular task. That will generate a snowball effect since a single task accomplished and crossed out can have widespread effect on other tasks. Due to this, take up the habit of crossing out tasks on your to-do list.

4. The habit of being self-compassionate

We tend to be nice to other people. It is amazing to see how someone can be so empathetic and motivate another even when they are feeling down themselves. Paradoxically, instead of giving themselves a positive pep talk, they will go on a guilt trip. We are not trying to achieve perfection here, we are simply trying to do what we were born to do grow!

It is okay if you did not finish a specific task today. Instead of complaining or blaming, make the decision right now, that you will complete this task tomorrow. Talk to yourself as you would to a good friend. Give yourself a second chance. Don’t engage in self-deprecating talk. Remember, no one or nothing can motivate you if you are not willing to give yourself a chance.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama

5. The habit of taking responsibility

It is amazing how much taking responsibility for our results can change our perspective. I have had the chance to work with small teams, and in my experience, I’ve learned that people get more motivated when they know they are responsible for the outcome of their tasks. Don’t wait for the situation to be agreeable to get motivated. Take responsibility for your task and see how much energy you will put into it. While hygiene factors can help motivate you, only when you know you are really responsible for the results of a particular task will you build motivation that lasts.

As humans we have unlimited psychic power. Just as you would pay more for natural and organic food and beverages, you need to harness your natural source of motivation rather than expecting outside factors to motivate you. May that same motivation level that attracted you to this article keep you motivated in a more consistent manner.

How do you stay motivated from day to day? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

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Motivation

5 Ways You Can Develop Unbreakable Mental Resilience

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Building unbreakable mental strength was my ultimate goal for many years. Even as a girl, I knew that with emotional toughness in place, nothing can permanently break me. I set myself up for a task. My mission was to find ways and tools which I can use to become mentally and emotionally strong, in control and ready to face anything. If you think that’s easier said than done, that’s two of us.

In the beginning, I experienced lots of failures and errors since I didn’t understand that being tough or looking tough are two different powers. I was trying to build this image of a “street fighter” which wasn’t working because it didn’t come from within. My second task was to share my experience with anyone I met. I understood that with proper tools and perspective, we all could build ourselves into resilient and strong individuals.

That’s why I want to share with you 5 ways you can develop unbreakable mental resilience and gain control of your life:

1. Increase your tolerance for pain

If you want to effectively train your mind in becoming resilient, you need to increase your tolerance for pain. You do it by letting go of how things should be and accept what is. No expectations, no feeling of entitlement.

It’s a perspective matter. When you feel entitled to something better or easier in life, you are putting yourself in a position where your expectations don’t have to be met. This situation causes hurt and loss of control.

When you are at peace with the ups and downs of life, knowing that some fights are involved, you are gaining more control over how you feel and think. Your tolerance for adversity increases since you are focused more on a solution than on the presence of your pain.

“You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Shonda Rhimes

2. Create a powerful support system

Most of my life, I believed that I can handle everything on my own. I wanted to become the strongest among all my friends and family, always independent, never needing help. Soon, I found out that this was a terrible idea while trying to develop emotional resilience. The truth is that we need each other, we need our support network

Part of developing mental resilience is knowing when to ask for help and bury the ego. There is strength in admitting that you feel vulnerable and need someone’s hand. Feeling love and support is the best medicine while dealing with hardships. Your role is to choose who you let close to you and who you can trust. Based on my experience, it isn’t hard to figure it out.

3. Take responsibility for your feelings

You and I know that blaming is easy. It takes a weight off your shoulders, it eases the pain and it creates excuses. But it doesn’t build mental resilience. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your feelings when someone else hurts them.

There is a difference between those who are at fault and those who are responsible. Let’s say that your partner cheated on you which broke your heart and caused you pain. It’s your partner’s fault, but it’s your responsibility to deal with it. I know, it may sound unfair, but this is the only way you can build your emotional toughness on a feeling which scares you the most and that’s pain.

4. Learn to be alone

Some of us are pretty scared of being alone. That’s why we keep the TV on even when we don’t watch it, scroll through our feed 45 times a day or always seek some company just to maintain the noise. Spending some time alone allows you to think clearly, without distractions and on a much deeper level.

I am not suggesting that you isolate yourself from others, but time alone, combined with only 5 minutes of meditation, will help you in gaining better control of your feelings and overall mental state. Schedule your alone time. Reserve 1 hour, twice a week just for yourself, your thoughts and feelings. If you haven’t tried meditation, there are tons of videos online which will teach you the basics.  

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” – Vince Lombardi

5. Love those who hurt you

Two weeks ago, I read an article about letting go. According to Buddha’s teachings, the best way to let go is by loving those who hurt us. At first, it pissed me off. I thought to myself, “This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read in my entire life.” Then I took a deep breath, stepped out of my ego and admitted that it made sense.

Think about it this way, when you truly let go, when you forgive, you are gaining more control over your feelings and mindset. And that’s one of the most important things in building mental resilience. You take away the power of someone else who gained it through hurting you. Once you overcome the feeling of anger and the need for retaliation, the action of the other person won’t control you.

Conclusion

Having the right perspective on pain, surrounding yourself with people you can trust and taking responsibilities for your feelings are basic components of your inner toughness. The best thing about it is that even when you fail, you will manage to recover pretty quickly because you are built this way.

Don’t focus on your ego, it’s one of the most common reasons which stops you from growing. Have faith and accept the fact the everything in your life has a purpose. It’s how you choose to use it which defines who you are.

How do you build mental strength? Comment below!

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Motivation

12 Tips to Propel Your Self-Motivation to Its Highest Peak

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Motivation plays a significant role in your performance as well as the success of your career. There are many ways for you to get the motivation to do your job well and achieve the goals you have set for yourself. People derive motivation to work well from diverse sources including fear, rewards, growth, and development as well as from social influences.
Nonetheless, the best incentive to perform your duties comes from within you. Self-motivation is the drive to achieve goals without the supervision and the influence of other people. When it comes to meeting your desired results motivation and ability are paramount. They make things happen.

Use the following 12 tips to keep yourself motivated:

1. Set high but real goals

Set a real goal, dentify what you want to achieve and determine ways to go about attaining it. Divide your goal into various subgoals to make it easier for you. Setting personal goals keeps you focused on what you want to achieve both in the long-term and short-term. Whenever you face challenges, remind yourself why you are doing that task in the first place. Understand your abilities and do not set unrealistically high goals as doing so will set you up for failure and demoralize you. Clearly defined real goals are easier to focus on and monitor. They make it easier for you to measure your achievements as well as progress.

2. Seek feedback

Be open to any feedback, whether positive or negative as it is right for your motivation. Positive feedback makes you want to keep up with the excellent performance and even causes you to have the incentive to work even harder. Negative feedback might lead you to stress. And if it happens on a regular basis it most likely will lead to a depression. The key is how you treat your stress and depression. Take it as your best advisors to go forward. Take the negative feedback positively and let it give you the drive to want to improve your performance and surpass the expectations of your reviewer.

3. Get rid of unnecessary habits

Quite often you will find yourself doing things that get in the way of you achieving your goals. Maybe you have the habit of going to work with a hangover on Monday mornings after partying during the weekend. If you know that is what gets you down and makes you unmotivated, get rid of that habit. Minimize the things that distract you from working in top condition. Whenever you find yourself craving that beer, drink a glass of water instead. It is good for your health.

“Never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.” – Winston Churchill

4. Continue learning

Just because you are out of school does not mean you stop learning and adding to your knowledge. Surf the internet or take courses that can increase your expertise. The more informed you are, the more you boost the development of your brain. You are exposed to new ideas, gain new skills and you can reason better based on facts. Consider setbacks as an opportunity to learn. Never stop learning.

5. Celebrate all your achievements

Winning, no matter how small, deserves to be rewarded. Whenever you achieve your desired aim, get yourself a present. It could be that beautiful new dress you have been salivating for at the mall or even something big like a car. Rewarding yourself keeps you motivated to achieve the next big thing.

6. Take risks

You can never achieve something extraordinary if you stay in your comfort zone or keep doing regular stuff and not taking risks. Fear of taking chances limits your potential for growth and the rewards you could get by doing so. Not being sure what will happen next keeps you motivated to work on the task to achieve your desired results. Taking risks involves evaluating the rewards and losses you might encounter by taking on a particular challenge.

7. Take regular breaks

You are not superhuman. The only way for you to perform at the top of your game is to take a moment and rest. Studies have shown that working continuously with no rest may result in a decline in your productivity. Take a vacation and enjoy yourself without the pressure of work every once in a while. When you go back to the office you will come with renewed enthusiasm for work.

8. Treat yourself gently

Your friend bought that new house and you are still living in a rental. So what? Don’t compare your achievements with other people’s. We all have different goals and priorities. Accept the notion that there are people who are more affluent or smarter than you are. People are different. Accepting leaves you the space to explore other opportunities that are suited for you and focus on yourself.

9. Deal with your setbacks

Success is not a smooth path. On your journey to achieve your goals, it is nearly impossible not to encounter failure or other setbacks. Develop resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from unfavorable situations. Develop the skill to cope with challenges. Admitting your failures help you keep motivated to rise above the challenge.

“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” – Michael John Bobak

10. Set deadlines

Self-imposed deadlines keep you focused on your goals. You need to set realistic timeframes for each subgoal to push yourself to focus and achieve it without becoming overwhelmed. Once you accomplish a subgoal, you get even more motivated to meet your larger goal. Set dates to complete tasks and stick to them.

11. Procrastination is a motivation killer

Distractions and fear of failure are the main reasons we procrastinate. Face your challenges head-on. By putting things off until later, you might be delaying your success. Keep yourself motivated by doing things in time.

12. Impress yourself

You know who is the hardest to impress? Yourself. There are times when you doubt your ability to meet a particular objective. But with the right mentality and attitude, you can do things that can leave you wondering how you did it. Love what you do and have the passion for achieving your goals that does not depend on the bar set by other people. Doing impressive things builds your self-confidence and motivates you to do even greater things.

A self-motivated person is a good performer at his/her job. The above tips will help you focus on your work and stay motivated to be more productive at what you do and in so doing enable you to earn that promotion you have been yearning to get.

How do you motivate yourself? Comment below!

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Success Advice

What You Can Learn From My Ultimate “I Am Screwed” Moment.

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When I was 16 years old, I had the ultimate “I am screwed moment.”

Everything from this point on happened in slow motion. What I’m about to describe probably happened in the space of thirty minutes but it felt like five hours.

I was walking down the street with my buddy one night, eating a paddle pop ice cream. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a group of about twenty teenagers running towards us, dressed in black.

I instantly knew that something was up and as they got closer, we both realized we were screwed and there was nowhere to run to.

Seconds later the gang of teenagers came straight towards us as fast as they could.

“I got lucky and copped a baseball bat to the head. My friend wasn’t so lucky. He was repeatedly stabbed by several different people and there was blood everywhere.”

As I saw what happened to my friend, I knew I’d be next. I was hit so many times with the baseball bat that I was numb from the pain. Everything started to go white.

Then I heard a faint voice. The voice was calling my name out.

I listened to what the young man was saying and realized he was saying that his little brother knew me. All of a sudden, he put out his hand, lifted me off the ground and told me to run in the other direction, or I’d end up like my friend.

I somehow managed to get on my feet and run, but I was not giving up on my friend. I ran around the back of the shopping center that we were standing outside of and entered the building. I ran to the first security guard I saw and told them I needed help.

In my search to get help, miraculously, my friend had made it into the shopping center and he was being treated by a number of bystanders for his massive knife wounds.

I went over and spoke to him. He was okay and things looked better than I expected. I had about sixty seconds of calmness. Then I looked to my left.

Through the glass doors, I could see the same gang of teenagers running into the shopping center. Everyone including the two security guards ran in opposite directions.

My friend with his multiple knife wounds also ran and there were bandages everywhere as he made a run for it (I’m not even sure how he was able to move).

This time I was the unlucky one. I ran into the part of the shopping center that was closed for the night and three of the youths followed me. I’d never been so afraid because I saw what they did to my friend.

I ended up in the shopping centers food court and I hid in the darkness. I tried to control my breathing, but it was hard to silence the fear inside of me. I still remember the white Nike pants I was wearing and the bright red Sean John jumper I had on (I later discarded them because of the memory they left).

Again, through some kind of miracle, the three boys did not see me. They ran off in another direction and I stayed under the table.

The pain of my wounds started to set in. I knew deep down I was safe and so the fight or flight response was turned off. All of a sudden, moving and walking felt very painful.

I could feel broken bits of teeth in my mouth.


The aftermath.

After some time had passed, I manage to reconnect with my friend. By that time there was an ambulance on the scene and he managed to get his knife wounds treated. He got lucky and no vital organs were affected.

The next day I went to school and people could see I had gone through one hell of an ordeal. One of my friends in the year level below, came and found me and explained to me that it was his older brother and friends that attacked me.

They had mistakenly thought that we had come from a party, because of the direction we came from, where he was beaten up. He told me that because they had recognized me, to some degree, I was spared.

The story doesn’t end here though (I wish it did). Even after the brutal event, one of the attackers was still upset with me. I didn’t know why and it made no sense. I had multiple times where he and his friends were waiting for me in certain places and I was told they would harm me.

Through a mutual friend, I was able to resolve the conflict and I found out that a few of them were close friends with a few of my friends. In the coming years, I got to know my attackers.

“They were not the horrible violent people I encountered on that night. They slowly changed their ways and one of them has gone on to do extraordinary kind acts all over the world.”


A revelation from this “I am screwed” moment.

After this horrible event had occurred, I tried to make sense of it. I was not a violent person in any way but in a way, I had created this path for myself.

During my teenage years, I let rap music and violence dominate my life. I thought they were both cool.

The revelation from all of this was that I knew I had to change my life. I knew that the path I was on had led me to this moment and only I could change things. The next time an attack like this happened, I may not be as lucky.

I gave up rap music, I changed my group of friends, I started a business with my brother, I quit smoking and I disengaged from anything that was violent. Looking back, an “I am screwed” moment can be extremely valuable. It’s during these difficult times that we learn about who we are and what we can do to change our lives.

I would never have become obsessed with legacy, giving back and personal development if I hadn’t had this life or death experience.

I’m now fully aware of my mortality and I’m never going to take another day for granted.

Everything can change in a split second for better or for worse. What you do in that moment is up to you.

Nothing happens randomly (even this attack). Everything happens for a reason and when you ensure you get the lesson from it, you can go on to do extraordinary things.

I’m typing these words and reaching millions of people with them, partly because of this “I am screwed” moment.


If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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Motivation

Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.

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A month ago, I received an email titled “I am giving up” from a young woman. She was an aspiring life coach and had a huge money problem she was dealing with.

The young lady tried everything to get out of the situation and was even prepared to sleep in her car. There was one problem though: she had a daughter.

Things got so bad that she was even considering becoming a stripper to make some money fast but it was eating away at her on the inside because this very idea went against her ethics and values.

She felt she could never be a life coach again if she became a stripper, because the thought of helping other women after she had put her ass in lots of guys’ faces (this is what she actually said) was far too painful for her.

Becoming a stripper to fix her money problem would simultaneously kill her dream of becoming a life coach.

After she told me this story, she wanted my advice. ‘What should I do Tim?” she said to me in the email.

I really wanted to help her.

I gave her this advice even though it sounds brutal and somewhat harsh:

I told her “Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.”

Here’s how to eat garbage for a while so that you can rise up again:


Take a job you may not love.

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies (forgot who said that but it’s true). There will be times when your life goes off track and you could lose your job, all your money or even your partner. It’s messed up and we all go through it.

The answer is not to go against all of your values, so you feel even more worthless. The advice I gave though goes against every self-help book and motivational quote you’ve ever read including #LoveYourWork

If you fall down, sometimes you have to eat garbage for a while and if it’s a financial crisis, then that could mean doing a job or work you hate.

When my business dreams collapsed in 2011, I took a call center job that I hated with every bone in my body. I took the job because it rebuilt my confidence and taught me how to sell again.

I learned how the big bad corporate world worked and I became incredibly disciplined. I even learned how to love a woman again which sounds corny, but it’s true.

I ate the worst kind of garbage you could possibly eat and I tried to enjoy every moment of it. I then saved up enough money to attend a Tony Robbins event and that was the catalyst for my transformation.

Superman didn’t come and save me like you see in the movies. I had to save myself and that involved doing something I didn’t like. There are more lessons in the stuff you hate than you may realize. Embrace it.


Work on a side hustle at the same time.

The first point is horribly wrong unless you couple it with a side hustle. Eating garbage and having no way out of it is putting yourself through unnecessary torture that you may not recover from.

The rope marks could scar you for life without a side hustle.

My side hustle started out as personal development which eventually led me to begin blogging. Without this side hustle, the time where I had to eat garbage would have been unbearable.

Every day while I worked a job I hated, I looked forward to the small amounts of spare time I had so that I could work on my side hustle. In the first week of this difficult job, I outsold the other staff and hit 200% of my sales target.

“I achieved 200% of my sales target because I was determined to outperform so I could gain the privileges that came with it — more time and more freedom”

Instead of being micromanaged, I got the chance to watch Ted Talks with my people leader and strategize about the future of the business.

The side hustle then became much bigger later on and now it fuels everything I do. I’m obsessed with everyone finding a side hustle, so they have something to motivate them at least some of the time.


Eating garbage is where GRIT is built.

I never used to have an “anything is possible” mindset. The grit I have was built from having to eat garbage for a while.

“I knew that if I could make it through the muddy waters of not following my passion, I could do anything”

The harsh part of life taught me how to fend for myself and overcome my own demons, so I could rise up again out of the ashes. Grit does not come from your comfort zone.

Grit is found in the biggest and boldest of challenges where you have to use every ounce of your strength to come out alive.

The young woman that emailed me is working on developing the same personality trait. This work is what will make her an exceptional life coach.


You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

Eating garbage is short term and if you have a financial problem or something that just won’t go away, you’ve got to tackle it head on. Complaining about your situation and telling yourself the odds are stacked against you won’t help.

When you see eating garbage as short term, you develop the mindset that will help you break through.

There’s no magic cure.

I told the young lady that emailed me to eat garbage for a while (I was nicer than that, don’t worry) and do what she has to do to earn some money (without breaking her values). This battle is short-term and that’s how we all have to see it.


Think about a situation that is worse than yours.

Speaking of eating garbage, one of my mentors reached out to me and told me they had been demoted. They no longer had people underneath them and they were forced into something they didn’t love as much.

I told my mentor the same thing: we all have to eat garbage sometimes.

That advice was then followed up with my story of going from business owner to a call center operator. I then told him the story of a mutual friend who had gone from a high flying job to a nobody that was ignored.

He put up with that for three years and then eventually someone saw what I saw in him, and he was given a very senior role in another company.

Your situation may suck big time but getting some perspective and hearing about others who’ve had to eat garbage is a refreshing way (refreshing and brown stuff in the same sentence?) to overcome the negativity you’ll experience .


Understand that no one stays at the top of anything forever.

You could be the richest person in the world today. Eventually, you’ll be knocked off the top spot.

You could be the fastest 100m sprinter in the world. Tomorrow, or eventually, someone will be faster than you. The simple fact is that no one is permanently at the top of their game.

“All of us will fall from grace at some point”

What I’ve learned is that falling from grace and eating garbage for a while is how you rise up again. You can’t rise up if you haven’t fallen down before.

The deep, dark problem you think you’re facing will pass- it always does eventually. This is not the time to make a dumb decision, ask for sympathy or complain.

It’s time to eat garbage for a while and put in the work. Earn the right to get what you want by starting again at the bottom. That’s how you rise up again.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

5 Daily Habits to Remain Highly Motivated

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While some of us can naturally maintain a relatively high constant level of motivation, others find it more difficult. This is actually a normal fact of life. After all, the beauty and richness of life is in our attempt to reconcile and manage our different states.

Here are a few simple things you can use to motivate yourself on a daily basis:

1. The habit of accomplishing one single task once you get out of bed

This may sound trivial but it can have tremendous impact on your energy level. Right when you wake up, one simple task such as making your bed, exercising or cooking breakfast can get you energized for the rest of the day.

Getting something done first thing in the morning will give you a sense of achievement which will, in turn impact the rest of your day. The little things do count. How will you ever find the motivation to accomplish a big task when you can’t even finish a small one? A journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step…in the right direction!

2. Connect your small tasks to your values

In the first step, you may get something done, but if it is not in alignment with your values or beliefs you are less likely to feel empowered. Whatever the task you get done, frame it in relation to something that is important to you. You can apply this in your personal life, professional or spiritual life. Doing a task you know relates to something meaningful to you will give you the required energy to carry it until completion.

People who engage in routine jobs may find it very hard to remain motivated. Frame your job into something greater than yourself. For instance, a bus driver may say: “I am glad I can contribute to the future of our society by bringing children to school.” Framing the routine job that way will give you a sense of contribution. Knowing that you are making a difference will give you a sense of pride that will in return motivate you.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” – Steve Jobs

3. The habit of crossing out tasks on your to-do list

You will feel more energized if you put your tasks on a sheet of paper because nothing is more motivating than crossing tasks off your to-do lists. This is a clear signal to your brain that you have been able to accomplish a particular task. That will generate a snowball effect since a single task accomplished and crossed out can have widespread effect on other tasks. Due to this, take up the habit of crossing out tasks on your to-do list.

4. The habit of being self-compassionate

We tend to be nice to other people. It is amazing to see how someone can be so empathetic and motivate another even when they are feeling down themselves. Paradoxically, instead of giving themselves a positive pep talk, they will go on a guilt trip. We are not trying to achieve perfection here, we are simply trying to do what we were born to do grow!

It is okay if you did not finish a specific task today. Instead of complaining or blaming, make the decision right now, that you will complete this task tomorrow. Talk to yourself as you would to a good friend. Give yourself a second chance. Don’t engage in self-deprecating talk. Remember, no one or nothing can motivate you if you are not willing to give yourself a chance.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama

5. The habit of taking responsibility

It is amazing how much taking responsibility for our results can change our perspective. I have had the chance to work with small teams, and in my experience, I’ve learned that people get more motivated when they know they are responsible for the outcome of their tasks. Don’t wait for the situation to be agreeable to get motivated. Take responsibility for your task and see how much energy you will put into it. While hygiene factors can help motivate you, only when you know you are really responsible for the results of a particular task will you build motivation that lasts.

As humans we have unlimited psychic power. Just as you would pay more for natural and organic food and beverages, you need to harness your natural source of motivation rather than expecting outside factors to motivate you. May that same motivation level that attracted you to this article keep you motivated in a more consistent manner.

How do you stay motivated from day to day? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

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Motivation

5 Ways You Can Develop Unbreakable Mental Resilience

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Building unbreakable mental strength was my ultimate goal for many years. Even as a girl, I knew that with emotional toughness in place, nothing can permanently break me. I set myself up for a task. My mission was to find ways and tools which I can use to become mentally and emotionally strong, in control and ready to face anything. If you think that’s easier said than done, that’s two of us.

In the beginning, I experienced lots of failures and errors since I didn’t understand that being tough or looking tough are two different powers. I was trying to build this image of a “street fighter” which wasn’t working because it didn’t come from within. My second task was to share my experience with anyone I met. I understood that with proper tools and perspective, we all could build ourselves into resilient and strong individuals.

That’s why I want to share with you 5 ways you can develop unbreakable mental resilience and gain control of your life:

1. Increase your tolerance for pain

If you want to effectively train your mind in becoming resilient, you need to increase your tolerance for pain. You do it by letting go of how things should be and accept what is. No expectations, no feeling of entitlement.

It’s a perspective matter. When you feel entitled to something better or easier in life, you are putting yourself in a position where your expectations don’t have to be met. This situation causes hurt and loss of control.

When you are at peace with the ups and downs of life, knowing that some fights are involved, you are gaining more control over how you feel and think. Your tolerance for adversity increases since you are focused more on a solution than on the presence of your pain.

“You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Shonda Rhimes

2. Create a powerful support system

Most of my life, I believed that I can handle everything on my own. I wanted to become the strongest among all my friends and family, always independent, never needing help. Soon, I found out that this was a terrible idea while trying to develop emotional resilience. The truth is that we need each other, we need our support network

Part of developing mental resilience is knowing when to ask for help and bury the ego. There is strength in admitting that you feel vulnerable and need someone’s hand. Feeling love and support is the best medicine while dealing with hardships. Your role is to choose who you let close to you and who you can trust. Based on my experience, it isn’t hard to figure it out.

3. Take responsibility for your feelings

You and I know that blaming is easy. It takes a weight off your shoulders, it eases the pain and it creates excuses. But it doesn’t build mental resilience. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your feelings when someone else hurts them.

There is a difference between those who are at fault and those who are responsible. Let’s say that your partner cheated on you which broke your heart and caused you pain. It’s your partner’s fault, but it’s your responsibility to deal with it. I know, it may sound unfair, but this is the only way you can build your emotional toughness on a feeling which scares you the most and that’s pain.

4. Learn to be alone

Some of us are pretty scared of being alone. That’s why we keep the TV on even when we don’t watch it, scroll through our feed 45 times a day or always seek some company just to maintain the noise. Spending some time alone allows you to think clearly, without distractions and on a much deeper level.

I am not suggesting that you isolate yourself from others, but time alone, combined with only 5 minutes of meditation, will help you in gaining better control of your feelings and overall mental state. Schedule your alone time. Reserve 1 hour, twice a week just for yourself, your thoughts and feelings. If you haven’t tried meditation, there are tons of videos online which will teach you the basics.  

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” – Vince Lombardi

5. Love those who hurt you

Two weeks ago, I read an article about letting go. According to Buddha’s teachings, the best way to let go is by loving those who hurt us. At first, it pissed me off. I thought to myself, “This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read in my entire life.” Then I took a deep breath, stepped out of my ego and admitted that it made sense.

Think about it this way, when you truly let go, when you forgive, you are gaining more control over your feelings and mindset. And that’s one of the most important things in building mental resilience. You take away the power of someone else who gained it through hurting you. Once you overcome the feeling of anger and the need for retaliation, the action of the other person won’t control you.

Conclusion

Having the right perspective on pain, surrounding yourself with people you can trust and taking responsibilities for your feelings are basic components of your inner toughness. The best thing about it is that even when you fail, you will manage to recover pretty quickly because you are built this way.

Don’t focus on your ego, it’s one of the most common reasons which stops you from growing. Have faith and accept the fact the everything in your life has a purpose. It’s how you choose to use it which defines who you are.

How do you build mental strength? Comment below!

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Motivation

12 Tips to Propel Your Self-Motivation to Its Highest Peak

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Motivation plays a significant role in your performance as well as the success of your career. There are many ways for you to get the motivation to do your job well and achieve the goals you have set for yourself. People derive motivation to work well from diverse sources including fear, rewards, growth, and development as well as from social influences.
Nonetheless, the best incentive to perform your duties comes from within you. Self-motivation is the drive to achieve goals without the supervision and the influence of other people. When it comes to meeting your desired results motivation and ability are paramount. They make things happen.

Use the following 12 tips to keep yourself motivated:

1. Set high but real goals

Set a real goal, dentify what you want to achieve and determine ways to go about attaining it. Divide your goal into various subgoals to make it easier for you. Setting personal goals keeps you focused on what you want to achieve both in the long-term and short-term. Whenever you face challenges, remind yourself why you are doing that task in the first place. Understand your abilities and do not set unrealistically high goals as doing so will set you up for failure and demoralize you. Clearly defined real goals are easier to focus on and monitor. They make it easier for you to measure your achievements as well as progress.

2. Seek feedback

Be open to any feedback, whether positive or negative as it is right for your motivation. Positive feedback makes you want to keep up with the excellent performance and even causes you to have the incentive to work even harder. Negative feedback might lead you to stress. And if it happens on a regular basis it most likely will lead to a depression. The key is how you treat your stress and depression. Take it as your best advisors to go forward. Take the negative feedback positively and let it give you the drive to want to improve your performance and surpass the expectations of your reviewer.

3. Get rid of unnecessary habits

Quite often you will find yourself doing things that get in the way of you achieving your goals. Maybe you have the habit of going to work with a hangover on Monday mornings after partying during the weekend. If you know that is what gets you down and makes you unmotivated, get rid of that habit. Minimize the things that distract you from working in top condition. Whenever you find yourself craving that beer, drink a glass of water instead. It is good for your health.

“Never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.” – Winston Churchill

4. Continue learning

Just because you are out of school does not mean you stop learning and adding to your knowledge. Surf the internet or take courses that can increase your expertise. The more informed you are, the more you boost the development of your brain. You are exposed to new ideas, gain new skills and you can reason better based on facts. Consider setbacks as an opportunity to learn. Never stop learning.

5. Celebrate all your achievements

Winning, no matter how small, deserves to be rewarded. Whenever you achieve your desired aim, get yourself a present. It could be that beautiful new dress you have been salivating for at the mall or even something big like a car. Rewarding yourself keeps you motivated to achieve the next big thing.

6. Take risks

You can never achieve something extraordinary if you stay in your comfort zone or keep doing regular stuff and not taking risks. Fear of taking chances limits your potential for growth and the rewards you could get by doing so. Not being sure what will happen next keeps you motivated to work on the task to achieve your desired results. Taking risks involves evaluating the rewards and losses you might encounter by taking on a particular challenge.

7. Take regular breaks

You are not superhuman. The only way for you to perform at the top of your game is to take a moment and rest. Studies have shown that working continuously with no rest may result in a decline in your productivity. Take a vacation and enjoy yourself without the pressure of work every once in a while. When you go back to the office you will come with renewed enthusiasm for work.

8. Treat yourself gently

Your friend bought that new house and you are still living in a rental. So what? Don’t compare your achievements with other people’s. We all have different goals and priorities. Accept the notion that there are people who are more affluent or smarter than you are. People are different. Accepting leaves you the space to explore other opportunities that are suited for you and focus on yourself.

9. Deal with your setbacks

Success is not a smooth path. On your journey to achieve your goals, it is nearly impossible not to encounter failure or other setbacks. Develop resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from unfavorable situations. Develop the skill to cope with challenges. Admitting your failures help you keep motivated to rise above the challenge.

“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” – Michael John Bobak

10. Set deadlines

Self-imposed deadlines keep you focused on your goals. You need to set realistic timeframes for each subgoal to push yourself to focus and achieve it without becoming overwhelmed. Once you accomplish a subgoal, you get even more motivated to meet your larger goal. Set dates to complete tasks and stick to them.

11. Procrastination is a motivation killer

Distractions and fear of failure are the main reasons we procrastinate. Face your challenges head-on. By putting things off until later, you might be delaying your success. Keep yourself motivated by doing things in time.

12. Impress yourself

You know who is the hardest to impress? Yourself. There are times when you doubt your ability to meet a particular objective. But with the right mentality and attitude, you can do things that can leave you wondering how you did it. Love what you do and have the passion for achieving your goals that does not depend on the bar set by other people. Doing impressive things builds your self-confidence and motivates you to do even greater things.

A self-motivated person is a good performer at his/her job. The above tips will help you focus on your work and stay motivated to be more productive at what you do and in so doing enable you to earn that promotion you have been yearning to get.

How do you motivate yourself? Comment below!

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