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7 Things Sabotaging Us On A Daily Basis and What We Can Do About Them

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mindset

Much of your life happens without you noticing it. All these things we don’t pay attention to like the things going through your head or coming out of your mouth can undermine you each day.

To better your life and live the life you want, become more aware of these 7 things which can ruin your life. The more aware you are of these things, the more you can consciously shift and mold them to work for you.

Here are 7 things that can sabotage your day but that you can change in your favor:

1. Your thoughts

Just because you think a thought doesn’t mean that thought is true! Thoughts pop into our minds all the time to scare us, make us doubt and criticize ourselves, and present us with the worst-case scenario…but remember, your thoughts don’t have to be true.

Instead of accepting every thought as truth, start examining your thoughts. Start watching them. Create a mindfulness practice so you can observe the thoughts and watch them instead of letting them drag you through the mud.

2. Your words

You don’t realize the power of your words or your intentions behind them. You often use disempowering words without realizing how your words are stopping you from living your full potential.

Words and phrases such as “no,” “I don’t know,” “maybe,” “should,” “can’t,” “not really” and so many other weak words are stopping you from living your best life. Take note of your words. Go through your emails and texts and pick up on the disempowering words you frequently use.

Notice your repertoire of words and commit to using the disempowering ones less.

“Stay positive, all other choices are pointless punishments to your psyche.” – Joe Peterson

3. Your limitations

Your beliefs about what can happen and what’s possible are entirely within your control. Yet, our society, culture and families have tried to get us to conform to playing small and not showing up fully as we are. Society reminds you of the risks of – and the boundaries that prevent you from – being fully you.

Whenever you come up with ideas and face limitations, challenge them. Where is this limiting belief coming from? What if you didn’t believe it?

What has been possible for others? What is the opposite of the self-imposed limitation? Feel, become aware and challenge your limitations in all forms.

4. Your stories

You have strong stories about every aspect of your life, from career and relationships to your preferences in pasta and wine. Every decision and choice stems from a set of experiences you’ve had.

Your stories are important because they are your past but they can be crippling when you allow your stories to take control of your life. When you believe that one incident, one rejection and one failure will repeat itself again, you prevent yourself from living life to the fullest.

Recognize your stories when you are about to take major life decisions or even small ones. What are the emotions that come up? What story is behind that emotional reaction you’re having? What is a new story you can tell based on those experiences?

5. Your expectations

Experiences will doom you if you attach yourself to a certain outcome or expect people to behave in a certain way. The price of expectation is constant disappointment and feelings that other people have let you down. You can’t control circumstances and people will usually not do what you want them to do.

You can live with hope for a certain result but not attach yourself to that result. Want it but don’t depend on it. Opt for surrender instead of expectation; whatever comes will come and will be in the highest good.

6. Your perspective

Your perspective is similar to wearing a pair of sunglasses. How you see the world depends on the color of shades you’re donning; blue, black, grey, or maroon. If you see the world as a sad place, you’ll view circumstances sadly. If you see it as a cruel place, you’ll continue to find cruelty.

If you see it from a place of hopelessness, you can imagine how you’ll interpret the events that arise in your life.

Notice the perspective you default to. Now have a couple alternative perspectives ready to go. Choose the “joy” perspective or the “resilience” perspective. By changing your lenses on life, you’ll change the circumstances in your life.

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” – Stephen King

7. Your vision

Your vision often conforms to what’s happening right now. Your day-to-day life limits it. You can’t see beyond it because you believe what’s in front of you is the most important thing. Your day-to-day problems bury your vision for your life.

Go beyond today. Go beyond the mundane and the day to day. Stay true to your highest purpose, what’s possible and what you want for your life.

Practice visualization and seeing the kind of life you want for yourself. Daydream freely. Journal the life you want. Live for today but envision the life you want tomorrow.

How do you overcome all the negativity in life to succeed? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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